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  • FIRST POST
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 2nd May 14, 3:58 PM
    • 10,673Posts
    • 55,732Thanks
    edinburgher
    Only freedom will do
    • #1
    • 2nd May 14, 3:58 PM
    Only freedom will do 2nd May 14 at 3:58 PM
    It has come to my attention that I have been here for a very long time

    I joined these forums in a dim and distant past, where money was my enemy and the weight of my student debts left me crushed and panicked, unable to picture a future where I would be able to get a debit card (never mind a mortgage).

    5 years later and the milestones of marriage, first home and first car have come and gone. Throughout it all, I have had a creeping feeling that something wasnít quite right. I donít get the world of work, and while Iíve never been unemployed in my adult life, Iíve tried too hard to try my hand at too many things and Iím left feeling like Iím an actor who recognises the play, but does not understand his motivation.

    As some of you will know, I have experienced some real heartache of late. Your messages of support and hope have been so touching and in many cases, I have got more comfort from anonymous individuals who took the time to get in touch than people I know in the Ďrealí world.

    While money would have done nothing to prevent it, the luxury of savings and our hard work over the years meant that we were in a position to make the right decisions and take our time with our next steps. Returning to work has been a real blow and without sounding even more melodramatic, I donít think Iíd realised just how damaging I find the merry-go-round of rote work, office politics and bureaucracy.

    It wonít do, I canít believe that this is as good as it gets and to quote one of my favourite singers ĎWe can always build a world better than thisí.

    From this point on, I plan to dedicate myself to achieving financial independence. Not MFW, but freedom from all the nonsense that we go through to just to pay for a pile of bricks and a few years of leisure at the end of our span.

    Hopefully you can join me for the journey
Page 288
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 12th Jul 17, 9:32 AM
    • 1,470 Posts
    • 16,847 Thanks
    Suffolk lass
    Sitting here, chuckling away at the various child-speak terms. So lovely. We also had a fat-troler (and a thin-troler for the VHS)
    MFiT T4 #2 update 31.2% after Q6
    Save £12k in 2017 #64 - £8112.39 saved (73.74%) after August - my annual target is £11,000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2017 budget of £3,600 £3000 (reduced from Apr) - 61.61/66.66% including stores after July
    My DFD is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5593594
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 13th Jul 17, 3:48 PM
    • 10,673 Posts
    • 55,732 Thanks
    edinburgher
    We are zonked after spending 14 hours between yesterday and today moving furniture, breaking down a gigantic wardrobe and stripping the wallpaper in our master bedroom in advance of the plasterer coming tomorrow. Now we have a rare our to ourselves, I believe sitting down is in order?

    Made a couple of small OPs.
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 14th Jul 17, 11:38 AM
    • 10,673 Posts
    • 55,732 Thanks
    edinburgher
    A torrid night. DD went down at 18:00 as Grandma really isn't very good at getting her to nap, was up at midnight for 3 hours I wouldn't mind if it wasn't for the pitying comments we get about how she'll settle into a routine soon. She is in a routine woman - you just don't make her stick to it!!!

    Plasterers in, a wee bit of teeth sucking because we didn't strip the bedroom ceiling. You can't win, last time they came they complained because we did strip a ceiling and didn't need to because we have a vintage of house where they papered straight over everything (not sealing it, so you can seal the paper in then plaster). Honestly, you can't win sometimes.

    Praying DD sleeps through the clumping and enjoying the sunshine

    £1.79 OPed.
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 14th Jul 17, 12:28 PM
    • 1,470 Posts
    • 16,847 Thanks
    Suffolk lass
    You just know they like telling you whatever you have done is wrong. My experience, and in the worst form of sexism, I have historically prefaced my return challenge, by saying, "I am a woman, I don't know if I understand these things but can you just explain why this isn't the case so I can learn from the experience please" - "Well you might be lucky if..." comes the response in an elaborate dance of backing down without losing face. It is especially rewarding if it's the same plasterer who gave you the other advice last time.

    You know you pay extra for sucking in through teeth, but in the case of plasterers, worth every penny (it is one of the dark arts, as we know)

    I hope it's going well.

    As someone that used to give our Son an antihistamine linctus to make him sleep I'm not sure I am qualified to comment on children's routines. It particularly helps when teething or snivelling but probably not when MiL is responsible for wakefulness
    MFiT T4 #2 update 31.2% after Q6
    Save £12k in 2017 #64 - £8112.39 saved (73.74%) after August - my annual target is £11,000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2017 budget of £3,600 £3000 (reduced from Apr) - 61.61/66.66% including stores after July
    My DFD is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5593594
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 14th Jul 17, 12:57 PM
    • 10,673 Posts
    • 55,732 Thanks
    edinburgher
    Thanks SL - it's nice to vent

    The plasterers are generally competent, but perhaps a little bit quick to leave the odd rough edge here and there. I don't enjoy conflict and because it's not worth the hassle of hounding them over it (easy enough to sand a patch, smooth a dent or two etc.) I think I have in my head 'well, you should accommodate us over X because I didn't moan re. Y') Perhaps I should be bossier, but don't want to scare them off as it's hard to find polite and vaguely timeous tradesmen. In any case, it cost an extra £20, so not breaking the bank. Heck, would have been cheaper to have them strip the whole room vs. taking days off!

    MIL is a lovely woman who adores DD, but it's as if she's forgotten how to parent? She lets DD get away with nonsense that she never would have tolerated from her own children. All we want is for her to treat DD as 'her own' for the day, but she refuses to say no to her, tell her off even when it's needed etc. So DD usually comes home not having napped, full of crisps and with too much excess energy

    Hey ho - that's what daddy daughter days are for, long naps and burning calories!
    • Suffolk lass
    • By Suffolk lass 15th Jul 17, 8:58 AM
    • 1,470 Posts
    • 16,847 Thanks
    Suffolk lass
    Have a great weekend - plenty of time for a bit of routine reinstatement alongside all the jobs I instinctively feel you will be doing.

    We have a Barn Dance on the Village field tonight. I know from the two I have attended up here is Suffolk, that they are not an exercise in precision and I just find it so funny when things and people go wrong. Just hope for no rain and not too chilly tonight for us please
    MFiT T4 #2 update 31.2% after Q6
    Save £12k in 2017 #64 - £8112.39 saved (73.74%) after August - my annual target is £11,000
    OS Grocery Challenge 2017 budget of £3,600 £3000 (reduced from Apr) - 61.61/66.66% including stores after July
    My DFD is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5593594
    • edinburgher
    • By edinburgher 25th Jul 17, 8:49 AM
    • 10,673 Posts
    • 55,732 Thanks
    edinburgher
    I have decided to retire this thread as my life has pretty much changed completely since I started it 3+ years ago
    1. I am now a dad to a beautiful, loving, mischevious toddler
    2. We've left our FTB flat for the house in the suburbs and I have no idea how we're going to pay it off
    3. I start a new job next week with a defined benefit pension and the slavish adherance to the FI mantras of savings ratios and SWRs no longer fit
    4. I fear that I may be growing up a little bit
    5. We've nearly finished renovating the house and I don't feel the need to moan anymore!

    New and positive diary coming some time soon
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 25th Jul 17, 2:48 PM
    • 27,704 Posts
    • 151,382 Thanks
    Karmacat
    Wonderful reasons to make a change, Ed, that's great. I'm feeling a bit of a need for change myself, actually ... anyway, please post the linkie to your new diary on this one, when you're ready
    Retired August 2016
    • AlexLK
    • By AlexLK 26th Jul 17, 1:22 PM
    • 5,772 Posts
    • 29,935 Thanks
    AlexLK
    I'll second Karmacat.

    Your post reminds me that three years is actually quite a time and a lot does change during such a time period.
    Money saved 2017: £3330. Overpayments 2017: £500.
    Saved £11,000 in 2015, £9,800 in 2016.
    From £32,000 in debt on 2/9/2013 to debt free on 12/1/2015.
    • Calfuray
    • By Calfuray 26th Jul 17, 7:02 PM
    • 970 Posts
    • 5,892 Thanks
    Calfuray
    I have decided to retire this thread as my life has pretty much changed completely since I started it 3+ years ago

    ...

    New and positive diary coming some time soon
    Originally posted by edinburgher
    Thank goodness, I thought you were leaving altogether!
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