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    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
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    shaggydoo
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13
    • #1
    • 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13 8th Jan 14 at 12:18 PM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Quote:
    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"


    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-01-2014 at 12:30 PM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 738
    • smiley_77
    • By smiley_77 7th Jul 17, 7:45 PM
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    smiley_77

    I never thought about these things till recently. Also a colleague is trying to cut back/drink less and is getting enormous grief Over it. Somehow people think they have every right to tell you what you should put in your mouth and body. It is quite upsetting really. So far she has stood her ground but I just don't really get how people get so involved in pressuring people to drink. I don't think they even engage their brains. I think people automatically go into pressure mode without and rhyme or reason.[/QUOTE]

    I have had this a lot. In my new job therebare others that dont drink, but it can be like being a social lepper, explaining yourself like you are a freak of nature.
    Do I really need it? Probably not.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 7th Jul 17, 8:08 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    WBF your office sounds like mine - I'm sure it isn't but weirdly we had team drinks in central London this Tuesday just gone as well. I have regretted all week that I went.

    Today is 4/25
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 8th Jul 17, 9:03 AM
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    cathybird
    Morning all, 7/21 for me please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
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    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 8th Jul 17, 9:10 AM
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    cathybird
    I don't know what it was yesterday, the drinks I had at lunchtime (three), the burger, the hot muggy weather or the fact that I'd hardly slept, or a combination of them all, but when I got home I felt quite ill for an hour or so. Maybe I just can't take alcohol any more? It was so hot though as well. Anyway, I feel better today.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
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    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 8th Jul 17, 9:11 AM
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    Honey Bear
    For the first time I'm kind of angry at them rather than angry at myself for being weak and wanting to fit in.

    There is no getting around the truth that the compulsory drinking part of these team building events only lasts until 10 minutes after the boss leaves having bought a huge round. Probably 60- 90 minutes before I left at 9.30pm. If I had been more sober I'd know what time that was. That many drinks in I stay and continue as there is paid for wine to drink. And leaving two die-hards in the pub to weave home a good half an hour after the previous last person was hardly required of my by the team! Stopping once started is a bigger issue if I'm being honest. And only around half the team came, so I can definitely skip the next one or two if I choose to.

    Phew, this commitment to posting every day (which I broke in case nobody but me noticed) has unleashed a torrent of stuff here. Thanks for letting me bore the ar*ses off you all.

    Undecided about the weekend... I think we all know what that means.
    Originally posted by Wanna Bee Free
    You're not boring anyone, WBF. We're discussing why we get into the habit of drinking daily and drinking because we're pressurised into it because of work. There are masses of reasons people drink more than they think is ideal for them personally, and these are just two of them.

    So, the drinking culture at work social events is because the boss is surrounded by brown nosers and has a bit of a problem with alcohol himself. That's very revealing, isn't it? If only half the team went, would you say that the other half are the more sensible ones who've realised that it's just a 'slosh it back' evening to stroke the boss's ego? Because that's what it sounds like to me.

    As you say, the problem is stopping once you've started and that's always going to be exacerbated by free alcohol - because once we've had a couple more booze always sounds like a great idea. The trick, of course, is not to have the first one in those circumstances.

    Posting daily means you know you're holding yourself to account and it's always surprising what we know, if only we'd let ourselves realise it. You're doing brilliantly.

    It is very common for drinking 'friends'/colleagues to put pressure on. IMO it's because they know you've made a wise choice to cut down/give up and rather than join you which would take effort and persistence they try to make you join them to excuse their own lack of willpower.

    I'm sure it will stop if you stand your ground for a few occasions and they'll just give up. I'd go for a dieting/healthy eating/fitness 'story' if it was me. So don't have sugary soft drinks instead but stick to ideally water or slimline to make the point.
    Originally posted by maman
    I couldn't agree more Maman.

    Honey Bear, re the chappie from SD, vomiting in the fireplace isn't really a great look for someone in authority, I would have thought? Also not sure where to start with the phrase "power drinker" (!!!!) "Powerless drinker" sounds closer to the truth.
    Originally posted by cathybird
    If it were me, CathyBird, I'd be ashamed of being seen that out of control in public quite apart from being embarrassed, but apparently he thinks its manly. Power drinker = alcoholic. So now we all know what 'being in denial' looks and sounds like. Good of him to take that hit for the team.

    Smiley it's really shocking that people feel like lepers if they want to have a drink because they're thirsty rather than to get pi$$ed!

    8/31 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 8th Jul 17, 10:00 AM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    5/25

    Studying today.
    Ignoring that its total sunshine. Might need to turn the phone off and focus.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 8th Jul 17, 7:59 PM
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    CuppaTea
    5/17 please shaggy
    I'm dealing with stuff.
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 9th Jul 17, 8:53 AM
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    cathybird
    Morning all, 8/21 for me please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
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    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 9th Jul 17, 11:09 AM
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    Wanna Bee Free
    I am feeling very lazy this morning. Heat, a lot of wine watching Wimbledon and then more has taken the motivation levels way down low here. Off for a bacon sarnie and to get ready to drink too much again later.

    This is fun, right.

    Now I know why I never post unless I've been sober. I feel an odd mix of rebellious - why shouldn't I have drunk yesterday, annoyed at myself for getting so little done but also pleased to have stopped and relaxed into a drunken state of happiness. I think the why of my drinking is too complicated for this bear of very little brain this morning.
    Last edited by Wanna Bee Free; 09-07-2017 at 11:10 AM. Reason: Typo
    No. 44 Save 12K in 2017 £6,100/£7,500 88%
    AFDs 47/150 14/4/10/9/7/3 31.33%
    • maman
    • By maman 9th Jul 17, 1:03 PM
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    maman
    Posting just to make m presence known even though I didn't manage an AFD yesterday. Now into the weekend and planned drinking days through til Sunday night.


    Have a good one everyone!
    Originally posted by ElusiveLucy

    WBF, don't know if it helps but I find reading the thread (even if I don't post) on drinking days helps to motivate me. And probably the most important thing is planning. I don't begrudge myself planned drinking days but I do feel bad if I have any s*d it days. I think it's all about feeling in control.


    I was out and driving last night so had one of my occasional AF Saturdays. Today I'm having a drink with my Sunday roast (first for a month and I don't care if it is baking hot!) but then hoping to clock up some days this week.


    2 AFDs please Shaggy.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 9th Jul 17, 2:27 PM
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    Poor_Single_lady
    6/25 please

    Channel hopping this morning between Sunday brunch on four and Saturday kitchen repeat on 2. Both had groups of people having a toast before 11am.
    Couldn't help but think of your points above (re Middle class drinking) [BHB[/B]
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 9th Jul 17, 5:23 PM
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    cathybird
    I am feeling very lazy this morning. Heat, a lot of wine watching Wimbledon and then more has taken the motivation levels way down low here. Off for a bacon sarnie and to get ready to drink too much again later.

    This is fun, right.

    Now I know why I never post unless I've been sober. I feel an odd mix of rebellious - why shouldn't I have drunk yesterday, annoyed at myself for getting so little done but also pleased to have stopped and relaxed into a drunken state of happiness. I think the why of my drinking is too complicated for this bear of very little brain this morning.
    Originally posted by Wanna Bee Free
    Hey WBF, drinking for me would be a perfect thing to do if the one and only effect of it was that first flush of feeling pleasantly tipsy, or as you say a "drunken state of happiness". I wish drinking alcohol didn't cause all the other things it causes over time and at the time (like the loss of ability to get anything done!) I like feeling mildly drunk, it's great. It just leads to too many other consequences, is the problem.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
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    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 9th Jul 17, 5:40 PM
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    cathybird
    Also I can't help thinking how half the problem of life is it always feels chaotic and a bit out of control and your problems and messes are always the thing right in front of you, and most of the time you're thinking "got it wrong again" (well I am) or "how do I deal with this". There are happy moments but the struggle with immediate problems tends to be the thing at the fore. This in its turn tends to obscure what's happening over the longer term - both the progress you make, if you're trying to do better at stuff, and the downhill slide if you're slowly getting worse. I look back now at where I was four, five years ago, not just with drinking but other things, and then ten years ago, and I can see I've got loads better at some things and am in an immeasurably better place. It's hard to see it or feel it though because it was gradual. I'm sure this is also how people can hide from themselves that their life is slipping out of control with things like drugs or drink - it doesn't tend to be dramatic, it's gradual, and it gets lost in amidst all the other everyday stuff you deal with, so it doesn't feel as though anything is changing. I have no doubt all of us on here are doing better than we used to be, even if it doesn't feel like it, or there have been repeated attempts and people are frustrated. You always feel in some ways as though you're at square one, and up against it, but the mere fact of hanging around here shows that we're not, we've got somewhere, we've taken a positive step. I know it's been said before.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
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    • maman
    • By maman 9th Jul 17, 7:15 PM
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    maman
    Good post cathy .
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 9th Jul 17, 7:49 PM
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    Honey Bear
    Off for a bacon sarnie and to get ready to drink too much again later.

    This is fun, right.

    Now I know why I never post unless I've been sober. I feel an odd mix of rebellious - why shouldn't I have drunk yesterday, annoyed at myself for getting so little done but also pleased to have stopped and relaxed into a drunken state of happiness. I think the why of my drinking is too complicated for this bear of very little brain this morning.
    Originally posted by Wanna Bee Free
    That sounds absolutely from the heart WBF and makes complete sense. In the end, I decided that the 'why' of drinking wasn't important; it was the fact of it I had to deal with and I could deal with the 'why' when I'd got brain space to spare. Turns out, for me, the why didn't matter.

    6/25 please

    Channel hopping this morning between Sunday brunch on four and Saturday kitchen repeat on 2. Both had groups of people having a toast before 11am.
    Couldn't help but think of your points above (re Middle class drinking)
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    Absolutely true. It's apparently cool to have a drink with breakfast / brunch. Yeah, right.

    Also I can't help thinking how half the problem of life is it always feels chaotic and a bit out of control and your problems and messes are always the thing right in front of you, and most of the time you're thinking "got it wrong again" (well I am) or "how do I deal with this". There are happy moments but the struggle with immediate problems tends to be the thing at the fore. This in its turn tends to obscure what's happening over the longer term - both the progress you make, if you're trying to do better at stuff, and the downhill slide if you're slowly getting worse. I look back now at where I was four, five years ago, not just with drinking but other things, and then ten years ago, and I can see I've got loads better at some things and am in an immeasurably better place. It's hard to see it or feel it though because it was gradual. I'm sure this is also how people can hide from themselves that their life is slipping out of control with things like drugs or drink - it doesn't tend to be dramatic, it's gradual, and it gets lost in amidst all the other everyday stuff you deal with, so it doesn't feel as though anything is changing. I have no doubt all of us on here are doing better than we used to be, even if it doesn't feel like it, or there have been repeated attempts and people are frustrated. You always feel in some ways as though you're at square one, and up against it, but the mere fact of hanging around here shows that we're not, we've got somewhere, we've taken a positive step. I know it's been said before.
    Originally posted by cathybird
    Bang on the money, CathyBird.

    I'll add my tup'ney ha'penny worth if I may. I got to the ripe old age of 50 before I finally realised that things doesn't always work out for the best. It sounds obvious with hindsight, but at the time I suddenly understood for the first time that waiting for solutions to happen wasn't going to lead to longterm happiness, ie not just leaving everything to fate, and I had to deal with 'stuff' or it would get seriously out of hand.

    And at 58 when I gave up drinking that realisation fully manifested itself when I also understood that things don't always work out for the best when we trust to luck.

    Up until then I had made progress on some things; higher education as a mature student, getting spending sort of under control and giving up smoking, but the biggest change by far was dealing with my alcohol problem. Which, if I'm honest, didn't occur to me as a major contibutor to not making more progress until after I stopped - which doesn't mean everyone else should stop completely but it has worked for me.

    9/31 please, Shaggy
    Keeping it AF
    • scatterbrain109
    • By scatterbrain109 9th Jul 17, 10:14 PM
    • 72 Posts
    • 631 Thanks
    scatterbrain109
    Sorry, I have been AWOL from the thread for a while.
    I last posted on 5th May.
    Since then I have managed 36 days.
    I am planning to set more realistic targets and I am aiming for 15 days this month.
    So far I have 3/15.
    I'll catch up in the next hour or two

    Jo x
    Sealed pot challenge number 10 - #057
    • Green Karen
    • By Green Karen 9th Jul 17, 11:33 PM
    • 220 Posts
    • 2,011 Thanks
    Green Karen
    Posting 3/8 AF days tonight.
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 10th Jul 17, 6:27 AM
    • 1,034 Posts
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    Wanna Bee Free
    Today is going to be 4/18 but I'll check in again this evening. Feeling tired and jaded after a restless night's sleep. Hello Monday morning!
    No. 44 Save 12K in 2017 £6,100/£7,500 88%
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    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 10th Jul 17, 9:22 AM
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    cathybird
    Thanks maman and HB - 9/21 for me today please.
    Last edited by cathybird; 10-07-2017 at 5:58 PM.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
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    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 10th Jul 17, 9:57 AM
    • 675 Posts
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    sukeyboo
    Aiming for Mon-Thurs again this week - fingers crossed

    Declaring early for tonight on 5/12 please Shaggy
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