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    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
    • 6,509Posts
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    shaggydoo
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13
    • #1
    • 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13 8th Jan 14 at 12:18 PM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Quote:
    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"


    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-01-2014 at 12:30 PM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 728
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 14th Jun 17, 10:58 AM
    • 2,595 Posts
    • 8,580 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 13/21 for me today. Thanks Honey Bear for your kind words. x
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: £20,880.11/£15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: £25,464.86/£10,000
    July AFDs: 25/21 2017 AFDs: 166/252
    • Eltee12
    • By Eltee12 14th Jun 17, 1:16 PM
    • 742 Posts
    • 7,391 Thanks
    Eltee12
    Afternoon


    12/20 please, thanks


    El
    PAYDBX 2017 #45 £768/£1,968 = 39.02% paid;
    2017 AFD 123/200: Jan - June = 123
    CCC #11 £143.89/£300 - no spend months: JAN-APRIL
    Mortgage-free since 2013
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 14th Jun 17, 2:31 PM
    • 680 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    6/12 for today please Shaggy
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 14th Jun 17, 5:07 PM
    • 3,692 Posts
    • 42,613 Thanks
    Barny1979
    13/25 AFDs today
    Last edited by Barny1979; 15-06-2017 at 10:59 AM.
    • PriceySOS
    • By PriceySOS 14th Jun 17, 5:09 PM
    • 548 Posts
    • 4,472 Thanks
    PriceySOS
    8 please, Shaggy, ta
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 14th Jun 17, 8:35 PM
    • 711 Posts
    • 5,394 Thanks
    CuppaTea
    8/17 please shaggy
    I'm dealing with stuff.
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 15th Jun 17, 10:59 AM
    • 3,692 Posts
    • 42,613 Thanks
    Barny1979
    14/25 AFDs today
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 15th Jun 17, 11:01 AM
    • 2,595 Posts
    • 8,580 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 14/21 for me today. Beautiful day round these here parts
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: £20,880.11/£15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: £25,464.86/£10,000
    July AFDs: 25/21 2017 AFDs: 166/252
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 15th Jun 17, 12:27 PM
    • 6,509 Posts
    • 50,332 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Morning

    1 more for yesterday.




    Shaggyx
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 15th Jun 17, 12:36 PM
    • 6,509 Posts
    • 50,332 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Monthly Challenge : June 2017
    June2017

    = 7 Days AF

    = 14 days AF

    = 21 days AF

    = 28 days AF

    = 30 days AF

    = Target Achieved

    = Target Beaten


    Alcohol Free Days

    Arkers
    7/TF
    Barny1979
    14/25
    CathyBird 14/21

    CuppaTea 8/17
    Eltee 12/20

    ElusiveLucy
    3/16
    FakePlasticTwee 7/TF


    GreenKaren 1 /5

    Honey Bear 14/30

    Macpep1 4/14

    MaggieM /8
    Maman 5/3
    Poor Single Lady 7/24
    Pricey 8/22

    Shaggy 4/21


    SukeyBoo
    6/12

    WBF 1/TF

    Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

    Please highlight your AFDs in Red

    Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • ElusiveLucy
    • By ElusiveLucy 15th Jun 17, 1:27 PM
    • 542 Posts
    • 2,865 Thanks
    ElusiveLucy
    Two more this week for me so up to 5/16. Not where I should be but I do find this nice weather makes me want to sit in the garden with a glass of wine or G&T, which is not helpful. Seem to be failing regularly on my targets since I did dry January.
    MF 03Sep2016
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 15th Jun 17, 1:53 PM
    • 4,383 Posts
    • 44,312 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    All that has happened is that Dry January has made you aware of your tippling, Elusive Lucy, which was probably sort of the point. If you're stopping after one or two, it's a shame if you feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

    15/30 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • Green Karen
    • By Green Karen 15th Jun 17, 10:44 PM
    • 220 Posts
    • 2,018 Thanks
    Green Karen
    Been a hectic few days but back with 2/5 AF days.

    Thanks ever so much for all the good wishes about my mum and the great advice. Got a little time to think about it all as she has been placed into intermediate care, hopefully for a couple of weeks. They are talking about installing a stairlift and other aids to get her home again. But I have seen her deteriorate markedly lately and I think she doesn't realise how short term living independently will be for her. But for now at least, it seems possible she can manage it.

    I have to say all things seem trivial compared to the tragedies that happens in other people's lives.
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 16th Jun 17, 9:30 AM
    • 680 Posts
    • 5,327 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    7/12 for last night please Shaggy
    • ElusiveLucy
    • By ElusiveLucy 16th Jun 17, 10:20 AM
    • 542 Posts
    • 2,865 Thanks
    ElusiveLucy
    All that has happened is that Dry January has made you aware of your tippling, Elusive Lucy, which was probably sort of the point. If you're stopping after one or two, it's a shame if you feel guilty for enjoying yourself.
    Originally posted by Honey Bear

    I think it is frustration with myself because I know I managed the whole of Jan and what I aim for is AFDs from Mon-Thur and I'm not even managing that at the moment. Last night I had one drink sitting out in the garden after work. I desperately wanted another later in the evening but I did stop myself, however I seem unable to do an AFD and when I "spoil" it with one drink I look back and think....why did I have the one drink?
    MF 03Sep2016
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 16th Jun 17, 10:51 AM
    • 2,595 Posts
    • 8,580 Thanks
    cathybird
    Good morning all, 15/21 for me today
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: £20,880.11/£15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: £25,464.86/£10,000
    July AFDs: 25/21 2017 AFDs: 166/252
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 16th Jun 17, 11:08 AM
    • 4,383 Posts
    • 44,312 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Thanks ever so much for all the good wishes about my mum and the great advice. Got a little time to think about it all as she has been placed into intermediate care, hopefully for a couple of weeks. They are talking about installing a stairlift and other aids to get her home again. But I have seen her deteriorate markedly lately and I think she doesn't realise how short term living independently will be for her. But for now at least, it seems possible she can manage it.

    I have to say all things seem trivial compared to the tragedies that happens in other people's lives.
    Originally posted by Green Karen
    Reading that first paragraph your mother's situation doesn't sound trivial at all. She's your mum and you don't want to be out of your depth if you're going to be responsible for her. It also sounds as though she has a significant number of health problems and that's always worrying.

    I think we're all pretty stunned by recent events. I can barely think straight about Manchester and the two horrors in London but it does put most day to day concerns in a new perspective.

    I think it is frustration with myself because I know I managed the whole of Jan and what I aim for is AFDs from Mon-Thur and I'm not even managing that at the moment. Last night I had one drink sitting out in the garden after work. I desperately wanted another later in the evening but I did stop myself, however I seem unable to do an AFD and when I "spoil" it with one drink I look back and think....why did I have the one drink?
    Originally posted by ElusiveLucy
    It's a habit, Elusive Lucy. Having a drink is probably your way of having something to look forward to, something to help you relax and a bit of a reward for getting through all the things you've achieved by the end of the day. It certainly was for me, anyway. The trick is to find something else that you can use that doesn't leave you feeling cross with yourself. There are books about this written by women that I found helpful, and your local library will have at least one or two that talk about giving up drinking which is what you're trying to do four nights a week, and you can tailor that information to your own personal circumstances.

    In my case what worked for me was finding a subsitute to drink when I absolutely had to have somethinig in my hand (Be*ks Bl*e) but mostly avoiding the situation that made me reach for one in the first place for a month or so. That's the habit bit you might want to work on breaking for an evening at a time by noticing what it is that makes you think you'd really, really like one. (Having the first, usually!) Most people seem to find 'distraction' works by finding something to do that doesn't involve drinking, but I found a bar a chocolate was just the thing. You could always take up canoeing!

    In any event, you stopped after one and that's an Alcohol Low Day, so well done.

    16/30 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 16th Jun 17, 7:18 PM
    • 911 Posts
    • 3,303 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    8/25

    And only 14 more days left this month. For the June payday I am going to minimise money spent on alcohol to bare minimum and put money saved aside.
    Going to decline everything as far as possible from payday to payday. Cannot have another month like this either from money or alcohol viewpoints.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 16th Jun 17, 8:42 PM
    • 3,692 Posts
    • 42,613 Thanks
    Barny1979
    15/25 AFDs today
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 17th Jun 17, 9:51 AM
    • 4,383 Posts
    • 44,312 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    I think it is frustration with myself because I know I managed the whole of Jan and what I aim for is AFDs from Mon-Thur and I'm not even managing that at the moment. Last night I had one drink sitting out in the garden after work. I desperately wanted another later in the evening but I did stop myself, however I seem unable to do an AFD and when I "spoil" it with one drink I look back and think....why did I have the one drink?
    Originally posted by ElusiveLucy
    Don't take this in any way as a suggestion that you should stop drinking altogether, but re-reading your comment this morning made me realise that not drinking for January was probably a lot easier than allowing yourself to choose whether to drink or not every day, even if the intention is not to drink Monday to Thursday.

    I do think drinking is a habit as I said above, but I also think that life is a lot simpler if we decide we're just not going to do something and focus on that for a while - like giving up smoking. It's a toughie while you're getting your head around it to begin with, but stopping and starting, and then expecting not doing the behaviour to be easy, whatever it is, is much more difficult. In my case, just making the decision to stop altogether was HUGE, and the first two weeks were very difficult but then it got easier more straightforward and now it really is easy.

    I don't advocate giving up on a whim, I'm not suggesting you should even think about it, but what I'm saying is that choosing or not whether you have one drink every single day and then feeling bad if you do is something I used to do and I wouldn't swap this life now to go back to that. It is jolly hard work, and I'm too lazy. I'm all for the simple life. I can honestly say I don't enjoy life any the less, either. If I thought I needed booze to have a good time, I'd be a bit worried - I don't think I ever thought that while I was drinking, but I found the idea of doing without it utterly horrifying, so strong a hold it had on my way of thinking.

    You're a work in progress, Elusive Lucy, and that's how we bring change into our lives.

    8/25

    And only 14 more days left this month. For the June payday I am going to minimise money spent on alcohol to bare minimum and put money saved aside.
    Going to decline everything as far as possible from payday to payday. Cannot have another month like this either from money or alcohol viewpoints.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    There are so many different ways to motivate ourselves - with me it was my central relationship, with Maman it was about losing weight and if being one of Martin's money saving experts works for you, go for it PSL!

    17/30 please, Shaggy. I hope life is still treating you kindly.
    Keeping it AF
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