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  • FIRST POST
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
    • 6,446Posts
    • 49,885Thanks
    shaggydoo
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13
    • #1
    • 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13 8th Jan 14 at 12:18 PM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Quote:
    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"


    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-01-2014 at 12:30 PM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 719
    • Eltee12
    • By Eltee12 19th May 17, 2:29 PM
    • 730 Posts
    • 7,306 Thanks
    Eltee12
    Afternoon All


    10/21 for me please.


    Have a good weekend, everyone


    El
    PAYDBX 2017 #45 608/1,968 = 30.89% paid;
    2017 AFD 85/200: Jan=25, Feb=16, Mar=21, APR=23
    CCC #11 2.50/300 - no spend months: JAN-APRIL
    Mortgage-free since 2013
    • maman
    • By maman 19th May 17, 8:19 PM
    • 15,985 Posts
    • 95,407 Thanks
    maman
    Just finding my stop button and taking a break for a cup of tea. cuppa I use BoB milk (1% fat but tastes like semi -Skimmed). It doesn't have any pint markings. I checked.
    • Freysmum
    • By Freysmum 19th May 17, 8:31 PM
    • 164 Posts
    • 1,136 Thanks
    Freysmum
    Evening everyone apologies for being MIA, life has been very challenging just recently but I am AF despite stressful times at home x
    Mortgage 05/2017 40,800
    2017 MFW #81 3506/4600
    • fakeplastictwee
    • By fakeplastictwee 19th May 17, 10:19 PM
    • 448 Posts
    • 4,427 Thanks
    fakeplastictwee
    Evening all. 19/25 please. Seem to be coming down with a cold now... Not sure I've ever been off colour for so long and for so many reasons.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 20th May 17, 7:26 AM
    • 787 Posts
    • 2,752 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    19/31 pleaseI had a drink yesterday. Boo. It was a few But not too many, I remember everything, I wasn't hungover, didn't do anything remotely stupid and got home at a normal hour with all my things.
    So it was everything that I aim for when I do have a drink. But still would have rather it hadn't happened. But it has so push on today is another day.
    HB although I haven't managed the full month AF I think this sensible approach is down to all your help you have given me. Big thank you.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 20th May 17, 8:17 AM
    • 2,527 Posts
    • 8,114 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 17/21 for me today please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. 7,475.85/12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: 20,880.11/15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: 25,464.86/10,000
    May AFDs: 23/21 2017 AFDs: 109/252
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 20th May 17, 11:08 AM
    • 4,293 Posts
    • 43,506 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Thank you PSL, that's a lovely thing to say but it's all down to you really, isn't it? You're the one not taking the first sip, turning down the second glass, being the person you want to be. If anything I say is helpful I'm just passing on the good commonsense I've been given while on the road to sobriety myself. So good on you for hanging in there and give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've achieved so far. And the good news is it gets easier the longer you stick at it, because what we're doing is breaking long-standing bad habits.

    20/31 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 20th May 17, 7:17 PM
    • 3,627 Posts
    • 42,138 Thanks
    Barny1979
    15/24 AFDs today
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 21st May 17, 8:45 AM
    • 2,527 Posts
    • 8,114 Thanks
    cathybird
    18/21 for me please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. 7,475.85/12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: 20,880.11/15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: 25,464.86/10,000
    May AFDs: 23/21 2017 AFDs: 109/252
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 21st May 17, 8:59 AM
    • 4,293 Posts
    • 43,506 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    21/31 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 21st May 17, 10:59 AM
    • 787 Posts
    • 2,752 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    20/31

    HB I think you are vastly under estimating the value of your words.
    Your contribution on this thread is so valuable and so helpful.

    What you have achieved is brilliant.
    You have a way of writing and explaining that really connects with people. A lot of people in your position - 1000 days AF would become quite Preachy but you are nothing like this.

    For me personally I have (aside from 1 friend who can't drink for medical reasons) nobody who views alcohol as anything but good. Work, family and friends all drink so it becomes 7 days a week bombardment and expectation to drink.
    It can make you feel exhausting and like you are constantly explaining.
    But then I read your posts and you are like the voice of reason and I think I am not alone. I think of you at your party's in the early days. (For me I'd rather skip them altogether and get take away and put pyjamas on) and I think about your example and all your words.
    It was me walking around not drinking very much but it was your words that did it!
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • maman
    • By maman 21st May 17, 12:29 PM
    • 15,985 Posts
    • 95,407 Thanks
    maman
    19/31 pleaseI had a drink yesterday. Boo. It was a few But not too many, I remember everything, I wasn't hungover, didn't do anything remotely stupid and got home at a normal hour with all my things.
    So it was everything that I aim for when I do have a drink. But still would have rather it hadn't happened. But it has so push on today is another day.
    HB although I haven't managed the full month AF I think this sensible approach is down to all your help you have given me. Big thank you.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady

    That's a very balanced way of looking at things PSL. Realistic without beating yourself up. Chalking up AF days is a very visual and quantifiable way of cutting down but it's not the only way. I'm (almost) as pleased when, like you, I have a couple of drinks and then stop as I am with an AF day. Unless you think giving up is for you then being sensible around booze is what we're all aiming for.


    I had a rare AF Saturday yesterday. I was driving last night but the old me would have come home late and poured a bottle down my neck no problem. Not any more!!


    11 AFDs please Shaggy.
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 21st May 17, 8:27 PM
    • 3,627 Posts
    • 42,138 Thanks
    Barny1979
    16/24 AFDs today
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 22nd May 17, 8:05 AM
    • 547 Posts
    • 4,424 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    16 AFD please Shaggy.
    Arkers x

    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 22nd May 17, 8:58 AM
    • 2,527 Posts
    • 8,114 Thanks
    cathybird
    Morning all, 19/21 for me please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. 7,475.85/12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: 20,880.11/15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: 25,464.86/10,000
    May AFDs: 23/21 2017 AFDs: 109/252
    • maman
    • By maman 22nd May 17, 10:12 AM
    • 15,985 Posts
    • 95,407 Thanks
    maman
    No drinking planned for today. I'm aiming for my two week smiley by Wednesday!


    12 AFDs please Shaggy.
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 22nd May 17, 12:39 PM
    • 4,293 Posts
    • 43,506 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Thanks PSL. OH and I went to see Tim Smit (Eden Project, Lost Gardens of Heligan) speak recently and several of the things he talked about made a great deal of sense, which isn't surprising. One of them was, 'Have you ever changed your mind because someone shouted at you?' It's a verty simple question but it really, really resonated with me. People who shout, argue and preach are, I'm afraid, not achieving what they think they are, whereas people who can stand back, think objectively and reflect before opening their gob probably stand more of a chance of making a difference. Inadvertently I can be quite aggresive in real life so I'm learning to tone it down a bit and it's making quite a difference.

    I've come to believe that since giving up smoking and drinking, anyway. I lost count of the the number of people who were holier than thou about smoking, whereas the person who pointed out that if you take English mustard, eat the strongest cheddar and lots of salt on your food - basically smoking is destroying your sense of taste. Nothing holier than thou about that, just a straightforward factoid that made me stop and think.

    The other bit of smoking cessation that made all the difference was, 'Never give up giving up.' Instead of feeling like a failure because I couldn't stay stopped, what that made me realise was those who succede are the ones who have another shot at it when they feel motivated to do so and keep doing so until it sticks. Eventually it worked for me but I'd been trying to stop smoking on and off for 20 years.

    So, for me, stopping drinking was something that I knew wouldn't be helpful if I were part of a group that wagged fingers and told me that I was a bit of carp out-of-control human being, and very fortunately I found two places where everyone I came into contact with was incredibly positive and helpful and actually offered some practical advice. That made a huge difference, as did reading around the subject of booze generally, because I like reading.

    Anything that resonates with anyone, that people find helpful is great and I think the mindset on this thread of encouragement is brilliant. That tone was already set when I joined.

    And yes, there is HUGE pressure to drink nowadays, and the fact that most of us move in a social group who share quite a lot of habits and values means that what appears to be normal, may, actually, be quite abnormal in wider society. We are absolutely bombarded with images of booze consumption being the only choice so we come to believe that what we're doing by having a glass or three every day is our only choice, but it isn't - and we just need to be reminded of that.

    So, if anyone is in the process of changing their habit around booze, all I can say is, keep going with rethinking drinking. It will happen if you follow the mantra, Never give up cutting down (giving up giving up); whatever's your thing. I just went that bit further because I needed to and it worked for me, thank goodness. But I didn't do it on my own. Hang on in there PSL, you're doing marvellously.

    22/31 please Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 22nd May 17, 7:51 PM
    • 3,627 Posts
    • 42,138 Thanks
    Barny1979
    17/24 AFDs today
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 22nd May 17, 8:53 PM
    • 667 Posts
    • 5,031 Thanks
    CuppaTea
    12/17 please
    I'm dealing with stuff.
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 23rd May 17, 8:37 AM
    • 2,527 Posts
    • 8,114 Thanks
    cathybird
    20/21 for me please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. 7,475.85/12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: 20,880.11/15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: 25,464.86/10,000
    May AFDs: 23/21 2017 AFDs: 109/252
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