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  • FIRST POST
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
    • 6,509Posts
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    shaggydoo
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13
    • #1
    • 8th Jan 14, 12:18 PM
    The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13 8th Jan 14 at 12:18 PM
    Welcome. Here we are again, time for a new thread, new starts and new challenges.

    Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of In Search Of Me's (ISOM) original post in Part 1:

    24th February 2008

    Quote:
    In Search Of Me "There are a few of us who want to give up/cut down & I thought it would be good to widen the net to support each other along the way!
    For me alch & feeling good for the time I'm drinking & then rubbish after go hand in hand. A bit like drinking & smoking & drinking & getting the munchies! Last year I gave up alch & fags for 10 months & then "slipped" towards Christmas until by Jan I was doing both with alarming regularity. I dread to think how much both cost me financially and I know physically that I've felt rubbish. My lungs hurt, have put on weight & literally none of my clothes fit so I will have to buy more - which means a dent in my budget that I can ill afford. My skin is also yukky & much nicer when I dont drink/smoke!
    I had my last ciggies the night before last & last wine on Tues. I know I will feel 100% better when I crack it but also know it will be hard. One disadvantage here is that all too often DFW "parties" tend to involve alcohol so I'm also hoping that this can possibly be a safe haven for those of us who want, or need, to abstain, for now at least!
    Anway - I hope that this can be a place of real support for people who are sturggling. I do wonder whether there is a link between debt & drinking as from the Jan thread it was obvious that so many struggle to give up! Plus I know for me that I feel much hapier and in control when I dont drink (or drink in moderation) - which of course begs the question "why do I do it?"! Anyway, I do but will now try not t ad hope some of you wil join in. Some days I know I wil fail, just as I do with my debt free journey and I am more than happy to be given a swift (but nice!) kicking when I do! Hugs all and dare I say... but this time with water!!
    And here's what she started!!! :

    Part 12 is HERE

    Part 11 is HERE

    Part 10 is HERE

    Part 9 is HERE

    Part 8 is HERE

    Part 7 is HERE

    Part 6 is HERE

    Part 5 is HERE

    Part 4 is HERE

    Part 3 is HERE

    Part 2 is HERE

    and the original starting thread is HERE

    Here is a post from back on thread 1 or 2.

    Quote:
    Springwatch Girl Well, week 5 of no alcohol and I see a different person in the mirror. My eyes no longer look dull and vacant, they actually have a little sparkle and my skin doesn't look like uncooked pastry anymore. I feel that I have won a battle but not yet the war. Hope everyone else is at the point they want to be, I never want to be that person I was, I have been tempted but I just think back to what I had become. The sun is shining at the moment and I feel good and want to continue to have the sun in my life"


    Good Luck Everyone!

    Shaggyx
    Last edited by shaggydoo; 08-01-2014 at 12:30 PM.
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
Page 681
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 14th Mar 17, 9:05 PM
    • 711 Posts
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    CuppaTea
    9/16 please shaggy
    I'm dealing with stuff.
    • fakeplastictwee
    • By fakeplastictwee 14th Mar 17, 9:52 PM
    • 459 Posts
    • 4,510 Thanks
    fakeplastictwee
    Evening. 7/20 tonight please shaggy.
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 14th Mar 17, 10:19 PM
    • 910 Posts
    • 3,300 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    11/22 please

    Trying to limit drinking to with best friends or family but dreaded work drinks rearing their head again.

    I think it was HB
    Or Shaggy that gave the advice that if you're not drinking people are unlikely to notice that you're not on the same wavelength for the night.
    I may try it. I'm not sure. I just know that I don't want the anxiety that group drinking brings to my life.
    Some very not nice people in my office and I need to keep my true feelings in which is a difficult task with alcohol on board.
    2017- 5 credit cards plus loan
    Overdraft And 1 credit card paid off.

    2018 plans - reduce debt
    • Barny1979
    • By Barny1979 14th Mar 17, 11:00 PM
    • 3,692 Posts
    • 42,610 Thanks
    Barny1979
    11/24 AFDs today
    • Wanna Bee Free
    • By Wanna Bee Free 15th Mar 17, 7:19 AM
    • 1,039 Posts
    • 9,750 Thanks
    Wanna Bee Free
    Elusive Lucy I hope your OH makes a good recovery now he's back at home.

    Well pride comes before a fall and I was persuaded to the pub for 'just a quick one' by a work colleague. 4 drinks later we'd set the office to rights so I drunkenly weaved home and bought fish n chips! Only day 2 of my attempt to lose weight so that was not the plan and will need to rejig my planned AFDs now.

    Will have one or two tonight - another work thing. Not 4 though!!

    Will be AF tomorrow too.
    • loveasale
    • By loveasale 15th Mar 17, 7:39 AM
    • 269 Posts
    • 1,806 Thanks
    loveasale
    Well I did say I had a heavy weekend to get over,,,,
    Friday night I did a bottle and a glass of wine ,, but I felt fine , Saturday I went really mad and drank lots more , Sunday had a bottle with dinner out with friends , then came home and had another 2 glasses , and beacase the bottle was open had the last 2 glasses Monday night!
    Last night was AF and how lovely it feels waking up with a clear head !
    8/16
    I will never be rich but I'm happy
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 15th Mar 17, 7:47 AM
    • 557 Posts
    • 4,535 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    10 AFD please Shaggy.
    Arkers x
    • sukeyboo
    • By sukeyboo 15th Mar 17, 10:40 AM
    • 680 Posts
    • 5,324 Thanks
    sukeyboo
    8/12 for today please Shaggy
    • CuppaTea
    • By CuppaTea 15th Mar 17, 11:20 AM
    • 711 Posts
    • 5,391 Thanks
    CuppaTea
    came home and had another 2 glasses , and beacase the bottle was open had the last 2 glasses Monday night!
    Last night was AF and how lovely it feels waking up with a clear head !
    8/16
    Originally posted by loveasale
    That sounds familiar. Hope you enjoy the sunshine today too. I find it more difficult when it's sunny not to crack open something on the patio.
    I'm dealing with stuff.
    • shaggydoo
    • By shaggydoo 15th Mar 17, 1:19 PM
    • 6,509 Posts
    • 50,325 Thanks
    shaggydoo
    Monthly Challenge : March 2017
    March 2017
    = 7 Days AF

    = 14 days AF

    = 21 days AF

    = 28 days AF

    = 31 days AF

    = Target Achieved


    Alcohol Free Days
    Arkers 10/TF
    Barny1979
    11/24
    CathyBird 10/21


    CoastalChick 1/26
    CuppaTea 9/16

    Dansmam 2/31
    DebJay 8/16

    DizzyImp 1/25

    Eltee
    8/21
    ElusiveLucy
    8/16
    FakePlasticTwee
    7/20
    FreysMum
    9/27
    GreenKaren 12/20

    Honey Bear 14/31
    LoveASale 8/16

    MaggieM
    /15
    Maman
    9/10
    Poor Single Lady 11/22
    Pricey 9/22
    ScatterBrain 9/25
    Shaggy 8/17

    SukeyBoo 8/12

    WBF 2/10

    WJN222 2/10


    Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

    Please highlight your AFDs in Red

    Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!
    What do we do when we fall? We get up, dust ourselves off and start walking in the right direction again. Perhaps when we fall, it is easy to forget there are people along the way who help us stand and walk with us as we get back on track.
    • WJN222
    • By WJN222 15th Mar 17, 1:44 PM
    • 171 Posts
    • 1,424 Thanks
    WJN222
    hello all,

    well after a lovely long weekend away with friends, I am reporting in for another AFD yesterday bring my total to 3 out of 10.

    hmm still a way off target!
    walk 2017 miles in 2017 - 415 of 2017
    SW journey - loose 28lbs - 14lb of 28
    Clear the stash July OUT : IN = 17:2
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 15th Mar 17, 2:10 PM
    • 4,383 Posts
    • 44,304 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    I hope your OH is better now, but if not, then well on the way down the road to recovery.

    I know I've improved hugely as I no longer drag people into bars during the day, quite happy with a coffee shop. Not fussed about drinking at lunchtime as it makes me sleepy and I want to enjoy the afternoons. No obsession with having a bottle in my hotel room. All good signs that I've cut down permanently.
    Originally posted by maman
    I think that's a really good summation of what cutting down looks like on a holiday, Maman!

    I think it was HB
    Or Shaggy that gave the advice that if you're not drinking people are unlikely to notice that you're not on the same wavelength for the night.
    I may try it. I'm not sure. I just know that I don't want the anxiety that group drinking brings to my life.
    Some very not nice people in my office and I need to keep my true feelings in which is a difficult task with alcohol on board.
    Originally posted by Poor_Single_lady
    I've mentioned this several times over the last couple of years, PSL, and Shaggy may have too.

    The trick is to make sure that they don't know you're not drinking alcohol because if there's a sniff, even the slightest whiff, of a problem in the team you're drinking with, some tw*t who wants to make trouble will use it to start bullying the person who wants to give their liver an evening off. And that gets worse over the evening as inhibitions are loosened by the booze, not better, sadly.

    My strategy is to arrive late even if that means "Just nipping to the loo!" as you arrive or when the first order is placed to make sure you can order an AF drink to begin with. A tonic with lots of ice doubles for a G&T or vodka/tonic, an AF beer doubles for half of lager and an orange juice can be a vodka and orange, and after that I run out of ideas. Either way, it's really, really important that you don't allow anyone to buy you a drink and how you manage that is a matter of fast thinking and quick footwork, although there is always the 'I must just take this call' opt out as people are offering to buy you another one.

    After everyone else has had two drinks I promise you they won't notice that you're not keeping up with them. (Alcohol dries out the back of the throat which is why people who drink feel compelled to take another sip. Softies don't do that, so while they're necking their booze you'll neither be able to keep up with them, nor will you want to.) Usefully, you'll have half a drink left while they're anxious to get a refill, so you don't need one yet, do you? Once you're out of the round-buying thing after the first two rounds you'll be fine saying you'll just get your own.

    And after they've had three, you'll notice the change in their behaviour, particularly that they're a little less careful about being polite if they're part of the tension of the group. After four, that tension usually spills over a bit, and that's usually when it's a good idea to make tracks, frankly. If you're feeling the tension as well your patience will be wearing a bit thin, too.

    Good luck with it.

    Sounds like a normal night out with friends, WBF! I hope the fish and chips were lovely.

    Lovesale, after nearly three years off the booze I can honestly say I've forgotten what a hangover feels like and that is such a relief! I now know that if I switch my light off by 11.30pm I wake up about 5.30am feeling great, and then have a lovely lie in (listening to the radio through an earpiece) before I start the day - every day. I forget to buy paracetemol and ibuprophen now, although when I need them I'm furious that OH has crunched them because although I don't get hangovers he still does. I know when he's going to have one because even my lovely OH nitpicks when he's had one too many, and that's how our arguments used to start when I drank - I'd just join in with the unpleasantness. I don't miss taking the bait and joining in, either, because it used to make me feel angry with him, and then along with the headache and general sludgieness in my soul and body the next day, remorse. Don't miss any of that.

    15/31 please, Shaggy.
    Keeping it AF
    • debjay
    • By debjay 15th Mar 17, 8:36 PM
    • 2,049 Posts
    • 8,503 Thanks
    debjay
    10/16 for tonight please.
    • loveasale
    • By loveasale 16th Mar 17, 7:47 AM
    • 269 Posts
    • 1,806 Thanks
    loveasale
    Dear HB , I'm sure speak on behalf of all of us on here who still drink ,, you are such a beautiful writer ,
    your replies are from the heart and honest , without being judgmental , and supportive, thank you!

    SHAGGY, how you keep a record of us all is beyond me ,, but I'm ,, along with everyone else glad you do !

    9/16,,,, I think?
    Last edited by loveasale; 16-03-2017 at 8:26 AM. Reason: Spelling
    I will never be rich but I'm happy
    • cathybird
    • By cathybird 16th Mar 17, 8:06 AM
    • 2,595 Posts
    • 8,572 Thanks
    cathybird
    11/21 for me today please.
    No. 38 in Save 12K in 2017. £8,571.97/£12,000
    Save 12K in 2016: £20,880.11/£15,000
    Save 12K in 2015: £25,464.86/£10,000
    July AFDs: 25/21 2017 AFDs: 166/252
    • Arkers
    • By Arkers 16th Mar 17, 8:14 AM
    • 557 Posts
    • 4,535 Thanks
    Arkers
    Good morning everyone,
    11 AFD please Shaggy.
    Arkers x
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 16th Mar 17, 9:09 AM
    • 4,383 Posts
    • 44,304 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    That's a lovely thing to say, LoveSale. I sometimes look at the length of my posts and cringe, but it feels like it needs to be said, so I do. Thank you.

    Struggling with the idea of no sugar (cakes, biscuits, ice cream etc) during Lent. I forgot completely until it was too late the day before yesterday and then having fallen off the wagon made the fatal mistake of thinking, 'Oh well, I ate a packet of fruit pastilles yesterday so I may just as well buy (and eat) that packet of ginger chocolate bix.' Very much like, well, I've had one glass of wine, one more won't hurt .... And now I've baked two lots of cookies so unless I'm super-strong (which I'm generally not) they won't all end up in the tin tonight, either.

    16/31 please, Shaggy though, so it's not all bad.
    Keeping it AF
    • PriceySOS
    • By PriceySOS 16th Mar 17, 9:59 AM
    • 548 Posts
    • 4,471 Thanks
    PriceySOS
    12 please, Shaggy, ta
    • Eltee12
    • By Eltee12 16th Mar 17, 1:21 PM
    • 742 Posts
    • 7,391 Thanks
    Eltee12
    Heloo


    10/21 for me please


    ( and can I have some pom-poms please Shaggy?)
    PAYDBX 2017 #45 £768/£1,968 = 39.02% paid;
    2017 AFD 123/200: Jan - June = 123
    CCC #11 £143.89/£300 - no spend months: JAN-APRIL
    Mortgage-free since 2013
    • fakeplastictwee
    • By fakeplastictwee 16th Mar 17, 3:49 PM
    • 459 Posts
    • 4,510 Thanks
    fakeplastictwee
    Afternoon all. Calling in early for 8/20 today please, as I'm exhausted. Went out to a quiz for 'a couple' last night and ended up drinking 3 pints and a G&T. My tolerance for pints has definitely dropped and I feel very tired and groggy today.

    I think I may try to go for an AF weekend this week, although a friend did talk about going out for a drink for her birthday on Saturday, so I'll have to see.
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