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    • Alias_Omega
    • By Alias_Omega 17th Oct 12, 11:32 AM
    • 7,196 Posts
    • 3,905 Thanks
    Alias_Omega
    Be prepared to purchase a Fisher Price Rainforrest Baby Swing, and solder a 6v transformer onto the battery contacts.

    Ideal if baby wont sleep for more than 3 hrs during the night, with the swing on setting 1..a good 8 hours..
    • twistedwheelnut
    • By twistedwheelnut 17th Oct 12, 1:10 PM
    • 10 Posts
    • 12 Thanks
    twistedwheelnut
    Change baby's nappy before feeding, especially at night.
    If you do it the other way round you will just upset them after you (or your wife) has just spent ages making sure they are full and comforted.
    If you change the nappy first, you can put them down to sleep straight away while they are still milk-drunk, and they are much more likely to go back to sleep.
    • Gillsx
    • By Gillsx 17th Oct 12, 2:59 PM
    • 56 Posts
    • 42 Thanks
    Gillsx
    It's very emotional - don't become a recluse
    I found after I gave birth that I was very emotional, all over the place and so scared to go out of the house, worrying about what if the baby cries, etc. It's natural and practically every mother I know took a few weeks to settle before being comfortable with getting out and about. I was out the first week with support of my husband while he was on paternity leave so I was ready by the time he returned to work in the third week to get out myself. It's hard, but it's very normal to feel that way and soon you'll be out and about and hardly thinking about it.

    Also, the first few months are the hardest. I'd say by week 20 it's like you turn a corner and it all becomes so much easier.

    Enjoy - its an amazing time
    • Gillsx
    • By Gillsx 17th Oct 12, 3:05 PM
    • 56 Posts
    • 42 Thanks
    Gillsx
    Passer by opinions....
    I also agree about the comment making, remind yourself you're doing fine. When my toddler was throwing a tantrum and I was struggling in a town centre and my baby was 2 days old, a woman marched up to me and told me i was a disgrace for a mother.
    Originally posted by suki1001
    I'm disgusted people act in this way with anyone, thinking they have a right to make comment or pass judgement. They do not know your individual circumstances. A baby at 2 days old you would have been very emotional and upset, but if this ever happens again don't be afraid to hit back with what a disgrace of a human being they are to openly pass judgement, and to stick their opinion where the sun don't shine. Awful people....
  • cheapskate101
    Three tips
    1. If your baby has a rash, especially with high pitched cry, go to the doctors ASAP.. Do not take no for an answer.

    .....I used to be a doctor's receptionist and the rule was that a child with a rash must be seen.


    Years later, a receptionist wouldn't give my child an appointment and told me to come back later, so I just sat and waited. My child was OK but the doctor told me that I had done the right thing.


    2. If your baby can't get to sleep ....and you've ruled out all the usual suspects and are getting desperate, they will often go to sleep if you put them in a cot on top of a working washing machine ( if tiny) or take them for a ride in the car ( if bigger). Some babies like reverberation and noise. I think it reminds them of being in the womb.


    3. If you keep the house quiet when you are trying to get the baby off to sleep, they will want it to be that way for ages. The best strategy is to have a slightly noisy house (TV ok ect) but without any loud bangs .. Doors etc.


    Find a picture of thousands of people in China on the internet.
    Remind yourself that these all survived without access to any Western child rearing books or Mumsnet.
  • quinechinoise
    Find a picture of thousands of people in China on the internet.
    Remind yourself that these all survived without access to any Western child rearing books or Mumsnet.
    Originally posted by cheapskate101
    I like that comment. Quietly amusing.

    Anyway, my tip is: ignore ANY advice you don't agree with and leave all your "baby" shopping to the last minute i.e. no stockpiles or fully kitted out nurseries, months in advance. (It's easier to buy something than to return it. In any case, whatever you buy will be the wrong size and you or baby will break it after one use.)

    Oh, and by the time the second/subsequent child arrives, ignore ALL advice. If you've survived one child, you're now an expert.
  • reformedspender
    The first three months are hard work and nothing can prepare you for the lack of sleep. The second three months are better. And the three months after that better still.

    'Trust your instincts' meant nothing to me as I had none. For that reason I felt post-natel classes were next to useless. I got much more support, help and advice from chatting to other mums in the park. It is nice to know you're in the same boat sometimes.

    I can only agree with the other comments about Mumsnet. Some of those ladies are scary.

    Anyone who uses the phrase 'sleeps like a baby' has never had a baby. My son chewed, chomped, moaned, groaned, snored and wimpered and by three weeks we could take no more and moved him into his own room. He was fine.

    I failed miserably to breast feed and my milk dried up and my son became jaundiced. When a midwife suggested a bottle I burst into tears and felt like I was poisoning him. Ridiculous really and I regret that I felt so dreadful in those first few days.

    If you can afford a cleaner, get one. Cook in bulk beforehand so the freezer is stocked up with reasonably instant meals that you can inhale between feeds.

    Place a hot water bottle in baby's cot when you're feeding so that when he/she goes back it is not too great a shock to their little systems after being all snuggly and warm against your skin. Obviously, take it out again when baby is back in the cot!

    When you're buying a pram decline help from the sales assistants and see if you can work out how to put it up/collapse it without the instructions. That means it is more likely to be grandparent friendly.

    You will fret over vaccinations.

    You will smell of vomit.

    When they start nursery they will contract bugs on a weekly basis.

    BUT, when they give you a smile it is the most wonderful sight in the world, and their first laugh is a sound you will never forget. My son told me he had a surprise for me today. He'd drawn me a heart because he wanted to show how much I was loved.

    Kids are hard work, but the best thing in the world.
    Last edited by reformedspender; 17-10-2012 at 9:21 PM. Reason: Thought of more to say!!
  • sharrison01
    1. If your baby has a rash, especially with high pitched cry, go to the doctors ASAP.. Do not take no for an answer.

    .....I used to be a doctor's receptionist and the rule was that a child with a rash must be seen.


    Years later, a receptionist wouldn't give my child an appointment and told me to come back later, so I just sat and waited. My child was OK but the doctor told me that I had done the right thing.


    2. If your baby can't get to sleep ....and you've ruled out all the usual suspects and are getting desperate, they will often go to sleep if you put them in a cot on top of a working washing machine ( if tiny) or take them for a ride in the car ( if bigger). Some babies like reverberation and noise. I think it reminds them of being in the womb.


    3. If you keep the house quiet when you are trying to get the baby off to sleep, they will want it to be that way for ages. The best strategy is to have a slightly noisy house (TV ok ect) but without any loud bangs .. Doors etc.


    Find a picture of thousands of people in China on the internet.
    Remind yourself that these all survived without access to any Western child rearing books or Mumsnet.
    Originally posted by cheapskate101
    Is point 1 due to the risk of a child having Mengitis or is there other types of rash that people should be wary of?

    Without the risk of sounding like I am disagreeing too much, but surely point number 3 contradicts point number 2 as you are suggesting that a quiet house creates the bad habit for a baby always wanting a quiet house but surely encouraging a baby to sleep with reverberation also creates an equally difficult habit to break?

    I'm afraid that I also am not sure about your point with China. Without discriminating against the whole of China, their one child policy has hardly created a society to be proud of with regards to their preference for male children and their childhood obesity rates will quite quickly rival that of the US if they keep up with their penchant for "Western" fast food. Health and education statistics in general are also not to be admired.

    Each to their own, but we found a variety of books very interesting and if you can filter the forum based websites correctly, they can be very helpful.
    • ValOrient
    • By ValOrient 17th Oct 12, 9:28 PM
    • 54 Posts
    • 60 Thanks
    ValOrient
    My DS is 23 now but the best advice my dear departed Mum ever gave me?

    Don't ever be afraid to let them just cry for a while. Babies cry, it's what they do best and sometimes if you feel at the end of your tether, put them in their cot/crib/pram in another room, put the kettle on and have a cup of tea. No harm ever came to a baby from having a good cry.

    Besides, as my Mum said, "the more they cry, the less they piddle"
    • Aimless
    • By Aimless 17th Oct 12, 9:43 PM
    • 919 Posts
    • 3,308 Thanks
    Aimless
    When you're buying a pram decline help from the sales assistants and see if you can work out how to put it up/collapse it without the instructions. That means it is more likely to be grandparent friendly.
    Originally posted by reformedspender
    I picked out a pram I thought would be perfect for me, went to the shop to look at it, I couldn't fold it even with the instructions! And it felt really cheap, I was glad I went to try it before ordering.
  • Blanchey
    Dye hand me downs!
    My top money-saving baby tips are:

    * Dye hand me down or stained baby clothes with Dylan machine dye in dark shades, eg purple or navy. The clothes come out looking amazing and with a new lease of life. You get lots of people asking where the clothes are from! Great to go from pink to blue if number two baby is a boy, and works on sheets and sleeping bags too. It's actually a bit addictive waiting to see how the things will turn out.
    * Also, LIDL nappies and wipes are absolutely excellent and v good value. By far my favourite even if they were not the cheapest.
    • Alias_Omega
    • By Alias_Omega 18th Oct 12, 10:08 AM
    • 7,196 Posts
    • 3,905 Thanks
    Alias_Omega
    The majority of changing tables are in womens toilets.

    Dont be shy to knock on the door and ask to come in when they have finished..

    (Note - to do the above, you must have baby with you..)
    • JimmyTheWig
    • By JimmyTheWig 18th Oct 12, 10:22 AM
    • 11,510 Posts
    • 11,164 Thanks
    JimmyTheWig
    The majority of changing tables are in womens toilets.
    Originally posted by Alias_Omega
    I'm not convinced this is true these days.
    Often they are combined baby change / disabled toilet but can't think of anywhere I've been in the last 9 years where there hasn't been baby change facilities for men but there has for women. And I'd probably remember because chances are I would have complained about it!

    [Though I agree it gives you an implied right to go in there if that is the situation.]
  • cherylypop
    With a 9 week old baby these are my little snippets of advce:
    *only havevisitors when youre ready (if you have them all at once straight away they'll soon stop visitng so much and you'll find yourselves home alone!)
    *dont do too much too soon or try to do much in a day-babies make stuff take a long time
    +take people up on their offers to watch baby/do housework/cook-they probably actually enjy helping out (especially if it involves cuddling baby)
    *work as a team so you both get to do things you enjoy sometimes-this has helped keep me sane and feel like myself even though its only 3-4 hours a week away from baby*if bfing speak to a cllr or go to a course-its hard (mAybe not for everyone but it is for me)-its made out to be natuural and easy but ive encountered so many problems. Also breast feeding grouos can help you feel more positive and confident (sure start groups and services are great and dont judge)
    *if bfing get lots of towels and muslins at the ready (nothing worse than baby falling asleep on the breast at 3Am only to find you have to change him/her (and wake him/her up.
    *listen to peoples advice/stories-disregard what you dont like the sound of and take on board the bits you do. Dont compare youfr baby to others (hard not to but is not going to make you feel good)
    *People who think its all delightful and have children who are perfect are probably lying/not telling you about the bad stuff (and we could all do that but the best mums are those that are honest)-surely noone enjoys all of it!? But enjoying the good bits makes it feel worth it.

    anyway good luck Mr and Mrs lewis
    ps. Coliccy babies-dr browns bottles, colief (expensive but sooo worht it) and a sling with a good cd to dance around to with baby during those horrid evenings are the only way through (and hv/midwife wont tell you that-jjst they grow out of it at 3 months!)
    Credit cards: April 2009-£1800, 1 March 2010-£0
    Car: June 2009-£500, March 2010-£200 September 2010-£0
    Mortgage-October 2009-£134, 290.64. February 2010=£133,854. January 2011-£131, 718.74
    • sly_dog_jonah
    • By sly_dog_jonah 19th Oct 12, 12:51 PM
    • 1,005 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    sly_dog_jonah
    Don't think this has been mentioned previously and I guess only applies to mums (or dads) planning to go back to work after maternity/paternity leave and therefore requiring childcare:

    If you can afford to, sign up to childcare vouchers as soon as possible after the baby has been born. You can then build up a credit of vouchers to use when Mum's maternity (or Dad's paternity) leave finishes.

    Depending on the cost of childcare and the number of days you'll be working, the amount you can save in vouchers almost certainly won't cover the cost of childcare, so to ease the pain it makes sense to have built up a credit of vouchers before they actually start nursery.

    Both parents can sacrifice their salary (even during maternity/paternity leave) to earn the vouchers, but check whether your employer's voucher provider enforces a voucher expiry date or not. Read the relevant guide on MSE first too, as salary sacrificed for vouchers can affect Child Tax Credits if I recall correctly.

    Second tip: If you have private medical cover as a benefit at work, there may be no cost (or benefit-in-kind tax liability) for adding your new born to the policy. Generally employer PMI schemes only allow you to add new members within a short period after 'life events' such as birth, adoption, marriage, or otherwise you might have to wait until the annual policy 'window' for this. For example, adding my wife when we married did add a monthly cost to upgrade my single policy to a family policy, but adding our first born and shortly our 2nd baby did not cost any extra, but had to be done within 4 weeks of birth otherwise I'd have had to wait until the annual 'window'.
    Last edited by sly_dog_jonah; 19-10-2012 at 12:59 PM. Reason: Adding the PMI tip as well for good measure
    • Alias_Omega
    • By Alias_Omega 19th Oct 12, 3:16 PM
    • 7,196 Posts
    • 3,905 Thanks
    Alias_Omega
    I'm not convinced this is true these days.
    Often they are combined baby change / disabled toilet but can't think of anywhere I've been in the last 9 years where there hasn't been baby change facilities for men but there has for women. And I'd probably remember because chances are I would have complained about it!

    [Though I agree it gives you an implied right to go in there if that is the situation.]
    Originally posted by JimmyTheWig
    One that sticks in my mind was the theme park near Retford. I seem to remember having to change the little one on the back of the toilet system.

    I've had a few places in the past where there have been no easy access to baby change facilities (ie in the gents toilet) and often find myself trying to find an attendant to open the door.

    Large shopping centres can be an example of this, the doors are usually locked to keep drug users out. By the time i have waited to get someone down to open the door (note i do not have a Radar Key either), the deed could have already been done and im on my way..
    Last edited by Alias_Omega; 19-10-2012 at 3:35 PM. Reason: Theme park name removed
    • JimmyTheWig
    • By JimmyTheWig 19th Oct 12, 3:20 PM
    • 11,510 Posts
    • 11,164 Thanks
    JimmyTheWig
    Large shopping centres can be an example of this, the doors are usually locked to keep drug users out. By the time i have waited to get someone down to open the door (note i do not have a Radar Key either), the deed could have already been done and im on my way..
    Originally posted by Alias_Omega
    Oh, are you saying that in these places there may be a gents with no changing facilities, a ladies with a baby change table and a locked disabled toilet/baby change room?
    Hadn't thought about that...
    • Pinzy
    • By Pinzy 20th Oct 12, 12:28 PM
    • 590 Posts
    • 575 Thanks
    Pinzy
    A nail brush for getting the poop out from under your fingernails!

    Another bit of advice I thought was good (though included with an addition from another dad).

    My advice: Put up a poster in the nursery that says:
    Hungry
    Wet
    Tired
    Gassy
    Cold


    I was so sleep-deprived that I was not able to hold all three of those items in my head at once. "Well, he's either hungry, wet, or tired, but he just woke up and I just changed him... so what the fark is he crying about?" I called this list my "crib sheet."

    FTFM. If the baby awoke at night, I figured out that if I eliminated gassy (belly massage and football hold), cold (if it had squirmed out of swaddle/clothes) and wet (diaper check) I could avoid unnecessarily waking momma for food. Beyond those three, it is boob time.
    Even I think "surely I'd remember the basics", but so tired yesterday I forgot the name of my colleague that sits next to me at work, and has done so for a year! Had to say "what's your name again?" Complete blank.

    Oh and someone else said "try and make sure you shower every day, just helps you feel human". I'd second that, it may seem to most that "well of course you would" but sometimes you just don't feel like it, especially if you're feeling miserable due to hormones or generally being susceptible to depression. Having a shower really does help.
    Last edited by Pinzy; 20-10-2012 at 12:34 PM.
    £2015 in 2015: £183
    • zipman23
    • By zipman23 22nd Oct 12, 6:30 AM
    • 287 Posts
    • 68 Thanks
    zipman23
    When baby is abit older don't let them sleep in your bed...you'll never get rid of them!!
    English by birth. GEORDIE by the grace of God.
    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 13th Jun 17, 10:51 AM
    • 96 Posts
    • 56 Thanks
    MSE Sarah
    Please keep adding to this thread if you have any other thoughts on what you wish you'd known when you had a baby.

    MSE Sarah
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