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  • FIRST POST
    • kavics17
    • By kavics17 30th Jul 12, 7:33 PM
    • 2,206Posts
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    kavics17
    Taking one step at a time-after death, before birth
    • #1
    • 30th Jul 12, 7:33 PM
    Taking one step at a time-after death, before birth 30th Jul 12 at 7:33 PM
    This is my 3rd diary on MSE, unfortunately not the one I was hoping for.

    Over 2 months ago my lovely fiance passed away. He was only 35, we were together for 8.5 years. He had a routine operation back in January and gradually got worst and worst afterwards. He went back to Poland where he was originally from to seek medical help and died on the day he was due to fly back to the UK.

    I can't express how I feel: the sadness, the devastation, the loneliness, how much I miss him. I am 32, also nearly 24 weeks pregnant with our first child, our very much wanted little girl is due in November. I need this diary to concentrate on clearing the debts and face parenthood on my own.

    The current debt stands at around £14000. I don't know the exact figures but will find out later this week. The loan is only on my name, a decision we made together for different reasons. At the moment I am ok financially, I work full time and earn decent amount of money. I can afford 6 months maternity leave if everything goes well and I am in a fortunate position where I can take my baby with me to work (though my salary will be reduced). I also have income coming in from rental property abroad but it's not a huge amount. I am not elligable for any kind of benefits (apart from 25% council tax reduction) and I want to keep it this way.

    My worries are the huge expenses I am facing once baby is born. As we were not married and as he was Polish, Polish law has priority over everything. According to it whatever he had belongs to baby if born alive. I need to have a DNA test done proving his paternity, than start the case of his inheritance in Poland, etc. I got quotes from lawyers and I'm facing a bill of 2000 euros so far. I don't speak Polish and I have to rely on my lawyer to sort out everything. I have not heard from our life insurance provider yet (it was a joint policy) but as far as I know he did not leave a beneficary on the policy either. It's all a mess at the moment but I'm sure it will fall into place when the time comes.

    I have changed so much in the past few weeks, people say I'm strong but to be honest I have no choice really. I am not worried about things anymore, just get on with whatever life has for me. I want to make him proud of us, girls and will do everything to achieve this. He was the strongest, most decent man I have ever met and I feel lucky to share the past 8.5 years with him.

    So please join me on the journey if you wish so.
    Last edited by kavics17; 31-07-2012 at 6:21 AM.
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Page 16
    • jwil
    • By jwil 24th Nov 15, 7:11 PM
    • 7,811 Posts
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    jwil
    Lovely to hear from you. Little Kavics is a beauty! I can't believe she's 3. It's lovely that she's so curious about her Daddy.

    Congratulations on your graduation, and I'm sure you will find the happiness you deserve xx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • ampersand
    • By ampersand 1st Dec 15, 9:29 PM
    • 8,308 Posts
    • 31,796 Thanks
    ampersand
    Dear Kavics - it's wonderful that you bring us these updates.

    Thankyou!

    I really want to express my further admiration regarding your graduation. This is a huge achievement. Amidst all the Well Done!s, please hand that one into the safekeeping of the fairy at the top of your Christmas tree.

    Little Ms Kavics will keep having splendid birthdays, but Mummy's triumph is very special during this one.

    Continuing blessings to you both - and your own wisdom is worth repeating:
    'So I guess life goes on, still not the update I really wanted to give but hopefully getting closer to it year by year.'
    -&.

    Yes, indeed :-)[and that's a promise]
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    'People don't want much. They want: "Someone to love, somewhere to live, somewhere to work and something to hope for."
    Norman Kirk, NZLP- Prime Minister, 1972
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    'It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere' François-Marie AROUET


    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 2nd Dec 15, 8:07 AM
    • 6,832 Posts
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    Tete en l'Air
    Kavics, you are doing a brilliant job and are so strong. What a wonderful role model for Mini. Lots of love to you xx
    Slimming for Santa (2/8)
    Drink The Tea challenge: (10/200)
    Currently reading: Devil's Cub; Alice in Wonderland; The White Tiger AB (42/30 in 2017)
    Christmas spending so far: £11.96
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • kavics17
    • By kavics17 27th Nov 16, 7:32 PM
    • 2,206 Posts
    • 6,366 Thanks
    kavics17
    Year 4 without Leo...an update for those who still remember us.

    Little Kavics is 4 now and a mini me. She is just amazing and I'm so lucky to have her. A year on she is very much into princesses, it's all about aurora, rapunzel and Cinderella in this house. She still loves her ponies and horses too and we never leave the house without her soft Elephant. She is in a new nursery now where she is thriving. She talks about death and asks lots of questions about her daddy. I miss Leo a lot and I think he would be immensely proud of us. Little Kavics is very much like him, still stubborn and curious, loving and caring.

    I now work full time and I really enjoy it. Still single, still plodding along alone. I haven't really dated this year, just had no time and energy for it. I need to pull myself together and start doing it again. Although I am good, life is good right now. I want to love and want to be loved. One day it will happen, I believe in that.
    • dawnybabes
    • By dawnybabes 28th Nov 16, 8:15 AM
    • 1,557 Posts
    • 3,743 Thanks
    dawnybabes
    Wow 4 - is it really that long

    Lovely to hear your news.
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    • Jox
    • By Jox 28th Nov 16, 11:09 AM
    • 1,253 Posts
    • 2,705 Thanks
    Jox
    Thanks for the update kavics, I'm happy to hear how well you and your little one are doing - it must be so bittersweet without your partner. Your daughter is an amazing testimony to her daddy everyday and proof of what a wonderful job you have done being her mummy. Take care.
    • brizzledfw
    • By brizzledfw 28th Nov 16, 2:24 PM
    • 7,159 Posts
    • 34,775 Thanks
    brizzledfw
    Thinking of you..and thanks for the update xx
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%]
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    **NSDs Target 10 for Winter xx/10 Trying to be a Frugalista
    • jwil
    • By jwil 11th Dec 16, 11:31 AM
    • 7,811 Posts
    • 22,433 Thanks
    jwil
    Lovely to hear from you. Little Kavics looks like a lovely young lady xx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 11th Dec 16, 11:58 AM
    • 14,920 Posts
    • 48,115 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    very good to hear from you Kavics XX lovely to know you are doing so well.

    Merry Christmas XXX
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • kavics17
    • By kavics17 21st Nov 17, 12:42 PM
    • 2,206 Posts
    • 6,366 Thanks
    kavics17
    Mini Kavics turned 5 yesterday. She is so beautiful and clever, really caring. She is still into princesses and ponies and also does lots of colouring. She now plays volley ball for the local team and does folk dancing once a week. She has friends and is really demanding attention all the time. She is still a mini me. When I walk down the road with her holding hands, my heart just melts as it was always my dream to walk hand in hand with my girl. She now openly talks about her dad in nursery too, a month ago she told everyone at circle time that her dad died and he was the brightest star in the sky.

    As for me, I turned 38 and fall in love. I met a guy through friends and it seems he is a keeper. He is fun and caring, and I can sleep next to him. Like properly sleep. My soul is at peace finally. I love him and I love spending time with him. He likes mini Kavics too and is not afraid to sit down and do some colouring with her or watch Barbie if necessary. I guess this is the update I always wanted to give you all but never hoped that it will happen. He wants to have children too so gives me hope that one day I can experience pregnancy, birth and motherhood again. I still love and miss Leo, he is such a huge part of me but I feel happy again.
    October make £100 challenge: £0/£100
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    • lisssa
    • By lisssa 21st Nov 17, 1:42 PM
    • 175 Posts
    • 107 Thanks
    lisssa
    What a beautiful and happy update 💕
    I hope you all have a a very happy future together x
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 21st Nov 17, 7:17 PM
    • 14,920 Posts
    • 48,115 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    That is so good to read XXX so brave and beautiful XXX
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • jwil
    • By jwil 22nd Nov 17, 2:45 PM
    • 7,811 Posts
    • 22,433 Thanks
    jwil
    What a lovely update. So pleased for you and mini Kavics xxx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 22nd Nov 17, 3:27 PM
    • 5,292 Posts
    • 18,650 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    Hi Kavics,

    What a lovely update from you, you and mini Kavics deserve every happiness xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
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    • Tete en l'Air
    • By Tete en l'Air 26th Nov 17, 10:13 AM
    • 6,832 Posts
    • 31,198 Thanks
    Tete en l'Air
    Shedding a little tear of joy for you and Mini-K, long may it last! lots of love xx
    Slimming for Santa (2/8)
    Drink The Tea challenge: (10/200)
    Currently reading: Devil's Cub; Alice in Wonderland; The White Tiger AB (42/30 in 2017)
    Christmas spending so far: £11.96
    My 'Life Begins at 35' diary *click*
    • fay66
    • By fay66 26th Nov 17, 12:08 PM
    • 671 Posts
    • 1,607 Thanks
    fay66
    so sweet x
    Mini Kavics turned 5 yesterday. She is so beautiful and clever, really caring. She is still into princesses and ponies and also does lots of colouring. She now plays volley ball for the local team and does folk dancing once a week. She has friends and is really demanding attention all the time. She is still a mini me. When I walk down the road with her holding hands, my heart just melts as it was always my dream to walk hand in hand with my girl. She now openly talks about her dad in nursery too, a month ago she told everyone at circle time that her dad died and he was the brightest star in the sky.

    As for me, I turned 38 and fall in love. I met a guy through friends and it seems he is a keeper. He is fun and caring, and I can sleep next to him. Like properly sleep. My soul is at peace finally. I love him and I love spending time with him. He likes mini Kavics too and is not afraid to sit down and do some colouring with her or watch Barbie if necessary. I guess this is the update I always wanted to give you all but never hoped that it will happen. He wants to have children too so gives me hope that one day I can experience pregnancy, birth and motherhood again. I still love and miss Leo, he is such a huge part of me but I feel happy again.
    Originally posted by kavics17
    this is so sweet x
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    • miffy257
    • By miffy257 2nd Dec 17, 10:16 PM
    • 875 Posts
    • 7,646 Thanks
    miffy257
    So happy for you and mini kavics. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your new love and all the best for much happiness in 2018 x
    £180.00 in 'sistercas'fund
    Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.
    Samuel Smiles
    • Morganarla
    • By Morganarla 4th Dec 17, 7:07 AM
    • 655 Posts
    • 2,052 Thanks
    Morganarla
    Thank you so much for coming back and updating us, I’m subscribed to your thread and honestly I cry a little every tome I get the email with the update. I’m so glad you’ve found someone to share your life with, so proud of mini kavics for turning out to be this little superstar, and so proud of you for keeping going through such tough times. Lots of love xx
    Penniless Furmummy to Amy, Jack,
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    • Dinah93
    • By Dinah93 5th Dec 17, 12:13 AM
    • 11,235 Posts
    • 45,550 Thanks
    Dinah93
    Beautiful update Kavics, long may your happiness last x
    September debt clearance goal £0/£1950
    Met NIM 23/06/2008 Engaged 23/08/2009 Married 2010 Baby girl born 2012 - 12 weeks early Baby boy born 2014 - 11 weeks early
    • dawnybabes
    • By dawnybabes 10th Dec 17, 5:58 PM
    • 1,557 Posts
    • 3,743 Thanks
    dawnybabes
    I’ve only just seen this, I’m so so happy for you xx
    Sealed pot challenge 822

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