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  • FIRST POST
    • HappyNow
    • By HappyNow 29th Dec 11, 10:29 AM
    • 1,245Posts
    • 5,521Thanks
    HappyNow
    Keeping up appearances.......
    • #1
    • 29th Dec 11, 10:29 AM
    Keeping up appearances....... 29th Dec 11 at 10:29 AM
    Welcome to my debt-free diary. I am going to use it to monitor my progress as I start my (very) long journey towards debt freedom. I hope it will inspire me to stay motivated when the going gets tough. Because the going WILL get tough from time to time - I have an absolute marathan ahead of me.

    Today I have totalled up all our debts..... Including our mortgage, the scary bottom line is £127,899.00!! If I deduct the mortgage, we are still left with the very frightening figure of £69,579.00 (give or take a few quid) unsecured debt. It will get a bit worse between now and payday (15th of each month) as we have very little money to live on and a few bills coming up.

    So, why have I called my diary 'Keeping Up Appearances'? Well, on the face of things my husband and I are a lucky couple. Both working full-time and earning good money. We live in a lovely house (worth more than double our total debt), have two gorgeous children who are now grown-up and away at university, run two cars, own another house which we rent out etc etc. We seem to have it all. And I suppose we DO have it all - we just haven't actually paid for it yet!!

    The worst thing? My husband doesn't have a clue how much we owe. I have taken sole charge of our money for years, and what a mess I have made of it! I have had personal problems, which are now resolved, but which made me lose touch with reality for a while. I'm not using that as an excuse, but it does partly explain what has happened.

    My husband is one of the nicest, kindest men you could ever meet and he really does not deserve to be in this mess. He knows we are in debt and need to watch our spending, but he does not know the extent. And I intend to keep it that way. I will scrimp and scrape and save and earn and do whatever it takes to reduce and eventually clear our debt, but it will be done without him knowing. He is a worrier and not in the best of health, so I do not intend adding to his stress by telling him the extent of our money problems. Not that he would be angry or leave me or anything - he wouldn't - but he would be so worried and disappointed and it would break his heart.

    He trusts me to take care of our finances, and for a long time that trust was misplaced. Well, now he finally CAN trust me and I will not let him (or myself) down any longer. Then, when the debt is less heart-attack-inducing, it will be something we can work on together.

    So, I am going to crunch some figures and get some inspiration and I will be back.
Page 149
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 28th Sep 16, 7:00 PM
    • 3,885 Posts
    • 39,797 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    I have a feeling that we're taking a bit of a break from targetty things while Happy is concentrating on keeping her head above water at the moment. I'm pretty sure we'll be back doing it sooner or later, but it may be a New Year's Resolution thingy. (Says me, on Happy's thread. I may be overstepping the mark, here.)
    Keeping it AF
    • Dolphin1
    • By Dolphin1 30th Sep 16, 8:00 AM
    • 680 Posts
    • 2,325 Thanks
    Dolphin1
    HappyNow et al! Welcome raphael!

    I came back from holiday last Saturday and my feet haven't touched the ground since so this is the first time I have had chance to post. Fantastic holiday with a LOT of walking. If I was still trying to make my target of 70,000 steps a week, I would have smashed it . Managed to hurt my knee on the first day but just took painkillers and ignored it as much as I could. I have had a bit of the post-holiday blues since I got back so will need to find something else to look forward to now.

    Really glad to see you posting HappyNow (and everyone else of course), it was quite a long absence and I was a tad worried. Glad immediate family are well and hope everything else gets sorted soon.

    Have you started your diary yet JVR? If so, I'll pop over and have a read.

    Honey Bear/joeyjimbles, keep plodding on!
    • jvr
    • By jvr 3rd Oct 16, 11:19 AM
    • 81 Posts
    • 232 Thanks
    jvr
    Hello all,


    Been very busy and had no internet (was being slow so OH helped by throwing router across the floor, so now waiting for new router) but finally done it.... quite nervous ...........


    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?p=71394720#post71394720


    JVR x
    Credit cards: £-6000 now £-5100 aim to be debt free (ignoring mortgage and student loans) by Dec 2017 mini aim of under £5000 debt by Christmas! Savings pot for car insurance and Christmas £0
    • Dolphin1
    • By Dolphin1 14th Oct 16, 7:38 AM
    • 680 Posts
    • 2,325 Thanks
    Dolphin1
    HappyNow.

    Just popping in to see how things are going? Hope all is well?
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 15th Oct 16, 7:50 PM
    • 1,495 Posts
    • 7,054 Thanks
    joeyjimbles
    Hello all, popping on as its been a manic and rather unsettling week and I've not managed to be around much. Hope you're all doing ok.
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 16th Oct 16, 6:20 PM
    • 3,885 Posts
    • 39,797 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Ahoy there Happy and everyone else who contributes to Our Glorious Leaderene's lovely thread!

    Thinking of you all, even if I'm not posting, still counting my blessings that many a bad habit has been pretty much kicked into touch entirely down to the support I've been lucky enough to have on this thread. Missing you all.
    Keeping it AF
    • Dolphin1
    • By Dolphin1 17th Oct 16, 2:15 PM
    • 680 Posts
    • 2,325 Thanks
    Dolphin1
    joeyjimbles and Honey Bear.

    I have had a rubbish few weeks with my health, nothing serious but numerous minor ailments that are getting me down. Not helped by the fact that all of my good habits have gone out of the window. I am eating chocolate on a daily basis, my daily steps are reducing as the weather gets cooler and I am having far too many late nights. Honey Bear, I don't know how you haven't reverted back to your bad habits. They clearly haven't become the new 'normal' for me!
    • Dolphin1
    • By Dolphin1 17th Oct 16, 5:28 PM
    • 680 Posts
    • 2,325 Thanks
    Dolphin1
    And just to get it out there in the hope that it helps, I am now worrying about something that 'might' happen and continuously working out what I would do 'if' (read that as 'when' in my head) it does happen. Sigh!
    • jvr
    • By jvr 18th Oct 16, 7:47 AM
    • 81 Posts
    • 232 Thanks
    jvr
    Hello All!
    Hope your well and we will hear from you soon Happy!
    I know what you mean about habits Dolphin - I seem to have a default setting I always revert back to. I'm sorry your having a difficult time you know we are all here if you want to talk about any of it, I can also take worrying to new levels and manage to worry about how much I'm worrying1


    Hope things have settled a bit for you Joey!


    Off to reply to your sound advice on my thread Honey - making a plan of action
    Credit cards: £-6000 now £-5100 aim to be debt free (ignoring mortgage and student loans) by Dec 2017 mini aim of under £5000 debt by Christmas! Savings pot for car insurance and Christmas £0
    • Dolphin1
    • By Dolphin1 18th Oct 16, 10:16 AM
    • 680 Posts
    • 2,325 Thanks
    Dolphin1
    Thanks jvr, I'm feeling a bit better today and the thing I was worrying about seems far more trivial and unlikely today. I had very bad anxiety a few years ago and after a course of CBT, I learnt to control it but it would be very easy to revert back to the way I was if I let it take over again. Sometimes I can feel that happening although it is quite rare now and I have to stop and have a talk with myself to get it back under control. I guess that was the point of the CBT, to recognise when I am spiralling again and do something about it. It really works for me. I'll pop over to your diary shortly to see what you have planned.
    Last edited by Dolphin1; 18-10-2016 at 10:39 AM.
    • jvr
    • By jvr 19th Oct 16, 12:53 PM
    • 81 Posts
    • 232 Thanks
    jvr
    Dolphin - hadn't seen this post before I wrote in my diary going to try this online CBT thing which is overseen by doctor. Yes I guess it isn't a cure but gives you the techniques to cope with the feelings and thoughts. Hope its helping you and glad you sound a bit better
    Credit cards: £-6000 now £-5100 aim to be debt free (ignoring mortgage and student loans) by Dec 2017 mini aim of under £5000 debt by Christmas! Savings pot for car insurance and Christmas £0
    • HappyNow
    • By HappyNow 19th Oct 16, 11:06 PM
    • 1,245 Posts
    • 5,521 Thanks
    HappyNow
    Hello all

    What a few weeks it's been. I'm still right in the middle of it all and completely knackered but I did just want to nip in here to wave at you all.

    My neighbour has died after a traumatic and sad few weeks. His death has a lot of implications for us and I am currently trying to teach myself probate and all that goes with it. Donkey Dog is now permanently ours, which is good because I love him.

    My parents are also taking up lots of time, mainly because they are trying to sell their house to move somewhere more suitable. No buyer yet, which is a bummer because they're on a time limit for the new place.

    Mr H still a self-employed peanut earner but we are just about managing. Only managed minimum payments on the debts this month, but it can't be helped.

    Dolphin - hope you are OK. Master H's girlfriend suffers with anxiety apparently and he says it can be exhausting for both of them.

    JVR - you have a diary! I will subscribe.

    Joey - hope things calm down for you soon, although if it's half term next week they probably won't!

    Honey - hope your cold gets better soon (yes, I stalk) and well done for keeping up your good habits.

    I have so much catching up to do. As soon as real life gives me a break I will be back.
    LBM Dec 2011. Aiming to clear ALL unsecured debt by Feb 2019 (70.71% so far)

    Debt Dec 11: Unsecured £69,579 + Mortgage £59,948 = £129,527
    Debt Nov 16: Unsecured £20,378 + Mortgage £45,859 = £66,237 (48.86% paid)
    • jackie_w
    • By jackie_w 20th Oct 16, 12:10 AM
    • 1,058 Posts
    • 5,588 Thanks
    jackie_w
    Hello Happy Now

    for the past few days I have read through your entire diary. You really are inspirational. I cried when you lost your pets, I love animals myself and to lose them is devestating.

    I will keep reading your diary it's great to see how far you have come xx
    • Honey Bear
    • By Honey Bear 20th Oct 16, 10:24 AM
    • 3,885 Posts
    • 39,797 Thanks
    Honey Bear
    Can't just read and run. Happy, if I had a magic wand I'd wave it over your life so that you had enough time, enough knowledge and enough money. I don't know anyone who's is as good as you to everyone around them, or who does so much and so cheerfully. (((Hugs))) for you, together with *coping vibes* to get you through this incredibly busy time.

    And the cold's much better today, thank you. Probably means I should do a bit of housework .... Best not over-exert myself while I'm convalescing, actually. On second thoughts, I'd better leave it until tomorrow.
    Last edited by Honey Bear; 20-10-2016 at 10:29 AM.
    Keeping it AF
    • Dolphin1
    • By Dolphin1 20th Oct 16, 2:16 PM
    • 680 Posts
    • 2,325 Thanks
    Dolphin1
    HappyNow, lovely to hear from you although sorry to hear about your neighbour and all the additional work it has left you with and trying to sort out a house move for your parents at the same time, I don't know how you do it! More coping vibes coming your way from me!

    Thankfully my anxiety has subsided again, it tends to flare up when I am unwell and/or feeling overwhelmed but it is soooo much better than it was a few years ago. Master H is correct, it can be very exhausting over-analysing everything you do and it can also be exhausting for the people around you. Thankfully, my OH has always been very understanding although I am still very glad that I sought help when I did as it was a lot to put on him and it put his life on hold as well as mine. Things are really good now in comparison and I am never going back there !
    • jvr
    • By jvr 25th Oct 16, 11:31 AM
    • 81 Posts
    • 232 Thanks
    jvr
    Really glad to hear from you Happy! So sorry about your neighbor, it is a lot to deal with all at once I hope your looking after yourself!
    Good decision re. recovery Honey!
    And glad your feeling a lot better Dolphin!


    Welcome Jackie_w_ I think I felt the same reading the whole thing!
    Credit cards: £-6000 now £-5100 aim to be debt free (ignoring mortgage and student loans) by Dec 2017 mini aim of under £5000 debt by Christmas! Savings pot for car insurance and Christmas £0
    • HappyNow
    • By HappyNow 1st Nov 16, 11:25 PM
    • 1,245 Posts
    • 5,521 Thanks
    HappyNow
    Hello

    I have news. I've kind of thought this news was coming for a good while, but it's now definite so I can plaster it all over the internet! It's one of the reasons I've not felt able to post much recently - I would have had to lie by omission or talk about things that seemed disrespectful and untimely.

    It's bitter-sweet. My elderly neighbour who passed away recently has left us with more than the lovely Donkey Dog. It turns out Mr H and I are sole beneficiaries in his will. That means we have inherited his house and some money. Enough money to clear all our debts and still have a couple of thousand pounds left over.

    So when probate is through we will own the entire farm (it's currently one big old house, split into two semis - we own half and he owned the other half), 13 acres of land AND have the potential to be debt free. What a gob-smacking thought. His house is VERY dilapidated - I've mentioned before he was a hoarder - but so lovely......

    We haven't decided what to do yet (keep it, sell it, live in it, convert it to a holiday let) and our brains are only just taking it all in. But wow. Who'd have thought it??
    LBM Dec 2011. Aiming to clear ALL unsecured debt by Feb 2019 (70.71% so far)

    Debt Dec 11: Unsecured £69,579 + Mortgage £59,948 = £129,527
    Debt Nov 16: Unsecured £20,378 + Mortgage £45,859 = £66,237 (48.86% paid)
    • joeyjimbles
    • By joeyjimbles 1st Nov 16, 11:32 PM
    • 1,495 Posts
    • 7,054 Thanks
    joeyjimbles
    That's amazing news HappyNow - I'm so happy for you. I hope that doesn't sound disrespectful as, of course, its terribly sad that your neighbour passed away but what a lovely thing that he did for you - you must have meant a great deal to him.
    I am literally breathing a sigh of relief for you to be debt-free after all your hard work, and everything that was chucked at you alongside.

    You deserve something unexpectedly lovely after everything - truly thrilled for you x
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 1st Nov 16, 11:46 PM
    • 499 Posts
    • 2,495 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    Hi Happy

    I've been lurking around on your thread as I subscribed some time ago. I took inspiration from your diary for my own previous diary. May I offer my best wishes in respect of your wonderful inheritance. Richly deserved.
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Scrimpy Goal - Emergency Fund - £10,000
    Currently: £6027.22 (25/11/2016)

    My debt free diary - " Paid off the £31,000 - BUT still scrimping!"

    NST: December 2016- NSDs: 2/15
    • chevalier
    • By chevalier 2nd Nov 16, 5:26 AM
    • 7,690 Posts
    • 17,801 Thanks
    chevalier
    Hi Happy
    Wow, what a happy sad moment. Such a shame your neighbour passed away but what an awesome gift he has given you. You could even move your parents in next door....... or maybe not depending on how well you get on with them.

    good luck with sorting it all out
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
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