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    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 23rd Sep 11, 10:45 AM
    • 213Posts
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    beckysbobbles1
    Deceased Husbands clothes/belongings.
    • #1
    • 23rd Sep 11, 10:45 AM
    Deceased Husbands clothes/belongings. 23rd Sep 11 at 10:45 AM
    Iím not sure what to do with my late husbands belongings and clothes. I have given some of his training clothes to friends and bike clothes will have to be sold on ebay as they cost a lot but Iím not sure what to do with his things in general.

    He has lotís of nice quality t-shirts, jeans etc and I donít want to just leave them in a charity shop. Locally some of the shops have been very rude when I have taken bags of quality clothes to them so I wondered if anyone else has any suggestions.

    I certainly wouldnít do a bootsale as again people are not very kind. I was thinking about a homeless charity shelter but I canít seem to find any locally.

    I live near Romford, Essex but London is close. Does anyone else have any other suggestions about what to do?
Page 1
    • Nicki
    • By Nicki 23rd Sep 11, 10:57 AM
    • 7,227 Posts
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    Nicki
    • #2
    • 23rd Sep 11, 10:57 AM
    • #2
    • 23rd Sep 11, 10:57 AM
    I am very sorry for your loss.

    Sometimes churches can make use of good quality clothes either because they work with the homeless or because they send them abroad to countries where they work. You could contact some of your local ones if you specifically want them to go to charity.

    Alternatively branded clothes even second hand do sell quite well on bay. You could bundle them into sets of about 6 items to make them easier to list and post. And if you did want to go down the charitable route could donate the profits?

    I'd be inclined in your shoes to do the most impersonal way possible. The last thing you want a time like this is people being rude or ungrateful. Keeping it all at arms length might protect you from that.
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 23rd Sep 11, 11:07 AM
    • 16,658 Posts
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    peachyprice
    • #3
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:07 AM
    • #3
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:07 AM
    Iím not sure what to do with my late husbands belongings and clothes. I have given some of his training clothes to friends and bike clothes will have to be sold on ebay as they cost a lot but Iím not sure what to do with his things in general.

    He has lotís of nice quality t-shirts, jeans etc and I donít want to just leave them in a charity shop. Locally some of the shops have been very rude when I have taken bags of quality clothes to them so I wondered if anyone else has any suggestions.

    I certainly wouldnít do a bootsale as again people are not very kind. I was thinking about a homeless charity shelter but I canít seem to find any locally.

    I live near Romford, Essex but London is close. Does anyone else have any other suggestions about what to do?
    Originally posted by beckysbobbles1
    I live not far from you. One of the mums at school runs a soup kitchen for the homeless, I'm sure they take in clothes. I'll ask her if I see her this afternoon. I think the shelter is Ilford way.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
    • supermezzo
    • By supermezzo 23rd Sep 11, 11:09 AM
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    supermezzo
    • #4
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:09 AM
    • #4
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:09 AM
    We took a lot of my late Father's things to a charity shop a good half hour away, so that we didn't see his things being worn by other people. Maybe a trip half hour away to a charity shop that you've already phoned and explained what you're doing might be worth a try?
    It aint over til I've done singing....
    • onlyroz
    • By onlyroz 23rd Sep 11, 11:14 AM
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    onlyroz
    • #5
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:14 AM
    • #5
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:14 AM
    Round our way there is a recycle bin for clothing, textiles etc. I think the better quality things are reused as they are, and the tatty stuff is somehow shredded up and re-woven.
    • miss_marsters
    • By miss_marsters 23rd Sep 11, 11:15 AM
    • 156 Posts
    • 942 Thanks
    miss_marsters
    • #6
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:15 AM
    • #6
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:15 AM
    There are some great crafters on facebook that make rememberance animals out of clothes... just a thought,

    http://www.facebook.com/#!/sendinthetroops

    K x
    • McKneff
    • By McKneff 23rd Sep 11, 11:16 AM
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    McKneff
    • #7
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:16 AM
    • #7
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:16 AM
    Have you actually googled 'homeless charities' There are so many about,

    Give it a try, there may be one closer than you think.
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
    • beckysbobbles1
    • By beckysbobbles1 23rd Sep 11, 11:29 AM
    • 213 Posts
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    beckysbobbles1
    • #8
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:29 AM
    • #8
    • 23rd Sep 11, 11:29 AM
    Thanks so much for the replies, they've all helped a lot.

    Miss_marsters- I will have a look at that when I'm at home, will be interesting (at work now).
  • cathryn107
    • #9
    • 23rd Sep 11, 2:59 PM
    • #9
    • 23rd Sep 11, 2:59 PM
    I'm sorry for your loss.

    I recently read an article about a businesswoman in Nottingham who ran a charity called Stylicious which uses donated clothes to kit unemployed people out for job interviews and work placements. There's a similar charity called Dress for Success which does the same in London, but it's women's clothing only for the moment. Perhaps there's something similar in your area?

    The other suggestions about homeless charites are great, but if you've got some formal business wear to give to a good home, this could be a good idea.
  • sheltieLinda
    deceased husbands effects
    My mum died in June this year and my dad asked my sister and I to sort and dispose of her things.

    We had a very tearful but also comical day together, putting clothes, shoes, wigs (she had cancer and has lost her own hair)into various bags which we then donated to our local hospice and cancer charity shops. Before we handed the items in we got a "gift aid" card so the charities would be able to claim tax back on the donation. We have since had letters from them stating they have raised over £150 from our donations so far. There were several clothes items that we just could bear to part with, couldnt bear the thought of someone else wearing those particular items, they were very distinctive and we would have recognised them immediately if we had seen someone wearing them. Those items we kept ourselves, not to wear, but to hug and be able to touch and smell (its helping us with our grief) and of course remember how fantastic Mum looked when she was wearing them.

    Linda
    • Hermia
    • By Hermia 23rd Sep 11, 4:48 PM
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    Hermia
    When my dad died my mum was put in touch with an elderly man who had fallen on hard times (the doctor's surgery she goes to has other community workers in there too and I think they arranged it). The poor man was walking around in clothes that were almost falling apart. He came to look at my dad's clothes and was absolutely delighted because he and my dad were exactly the same shape/height.
  • NuttyFaggot
    Not sure there is an easy way to say this so I'll just say it, are you sure you want to get rid of all your husbands clothes so quickly? When my husband died, I was advised by a friend (whose husband had also died) to not rush anything, give it time, you don't want to get rid of something and then a few weeks later regret it. Yes I did give a few things away that meant something to other people (they missed him too) but I've kept everything else, everything is where he left it. I still take comfort when I wear his jumpers/fleeces/jackets (they are far too big for me though ). Her other advice was don't make any major decisions for a year, I think she is right.
    • harrys nan
    • By harrys nan 23rd Sep 11, 6:23 PM
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    harrys nan
    Hi, so sorry for your loss, its really good of you to want to help others.
    I only really give to 1 charity and thats the salvation army,I'm sure they would be very grateful for anything you could spare
  • I try
    I have passed clothes on to our local hospital. They are then distributed to those that do not have suitable clothing to go home in or to clothe them during their stay if their clothes have had to be removed. The ladies I have given them to have always been so grateful.

    I am sorry for you loss. Good on you for trying to make a positive difference to others at this time.
    • flora48
    • By flora48 25th Sep 11, 7:44 PM
    • 617 Posts
    • 576 Thanks
    flora48
    Sorry to hear of your loss. When my husband died I sorted his clothes out and gave them to the Salvation Army. I believe they use what they can in their shelters and also sell through charity shps.
    • meritaten
    • By meritaten 25th Sep 11, 8:35 PM
    • 22,934 Posts
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    meritaten
    my mum donated dads clothes to a local charity shop - I saw his best suit in the window and burst into tears. It was awful. If you donate them please make sure they are a long way from you. I
    • Savvy_Sue
    • By Savvy_Sue 27th Sep 11, 2:14 AM
    • 36,174 Posts
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    Savvy_Sue
    my mum donated dads clothes to a local charity shop - I saw his best suit in the window and burst into tears. It was awful. If you donate them please make sure they are a long way from you.
    Originally posted by meritaten
    I'm with you on this! I've been bringing Dad's clothes home, partly because it's not so easy to park at the charity shops near where Mum lives, but I've made sure they go to shops I don't normally shop in, I couldn't bear seeing his shirts or quirky jumpers for sale!
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    • carolinabirichina
    • By carolinabirichina 27th Sep 11, 8:49 AM
    • 330 Posts
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    carolinabirichina
    Not sure there is an easy way to say this so I'll just say it, are you sure you want to get rid of all your husbands clothes so quickly? When my husband died, I was advised by a friend (whose husband had also died) to not rush anything, give it time, you don't want to get rid of something and then a few weeks later regret it. Yes I did give a few things away that meant something to other people (they missed him too) but I've kept everything else, everything is where he left it. I still take comfort when I wear his jumpers/fleeces/jackets (they are far too big for me though ). Her other advice was don't make any major decisions for a year, I think she is right.
    Originally posted by NuttyFaggot

    My husband died 18 months ago and I donated his clothes to a local charity within about 3 weeks of his death - for me, it would have been unbearable to see all his clothes in his wardrobe for days/months on end and to know that he wasn't here and to be constantly reminded of that every time I opened the wardrobe. I felt that by donating his clothes it helped with my grief and helped me to learn to live with my new situation and come to terms with a new way of life.

    I also made many major decisions during the first year - again this gave me something to think about and a purpose in life and stopped me dwelling on how things used to be and helped me focus on living my life on my own.
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 27th Sep 11, 9:06 AM
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    margaretclare
    I agree about donating to a charity shop at a distance. I've given a lot of good-quality clothing (weight loss, not bereavement!) to the Havens Hospices based in Southend-on-Sea, not too far from Romford along the A127, and any items have always been appreciated and no one has ever been rude about them. http://www.havenshospices.org.uk/

    I would caution about putting things into the recycling bins in town centres. I used to do this, but never again, since I saw a local bin being raided and bags of clothes dragged out and loaded into a waiting van. Apparently this is a well-known scam, same with leaving bags of clothes on your doorstep which may be stolen.
    r ic wisdom funde, śr wearū ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
    • margaretclare
    • By margaretclare 27th Sep 11, 9:12 AM
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    margaretclare
    My husband died 18 months ago and I donated his clothes to a local charity within about 3 weeks of his death - for me, it would have been unbearable to see all his clothes in his wardrobe for days/months on end and to know that he wasn't here and to be constantly reminded of that every time I opened the wardrobe. I felt that by donating his clothes it helped with my grief and helped me to learn to live with my new situation and come to terms with a new way of life.

    I also made many major decisions during the first year - again this gave me something to think about and a purpose in life and stopped me dwelling on how things used to be and helped me focus on living my life on my own.
    Originally posted by carolinabirichina
    It's odd how bereavement takes you, different in different people. I used to do shifts at the local hospice and one of the nurses there was going to scatter her husband's ashes in a favourite place in the Welsh mountains. He'd only died a couple of weeks earlier. I wondered if this wasn't a bit too soon. She retorted 'Well, you've got to get on with it, you can't just hang about, you know'. When my husband died it had been about 3 months before I could bring myself to do any such thing, and I felt he was telling me to do it. Same with his model vehicle collection. I used to imagine he'd be coming back and say 'why have you moved them?' I then went through another phase when I couldn't bear the sight of them, so we packed them up and put them into boxes in the loft. When my daughter died, my son-in-law was still recording TV programmes that would interest her, well after the funeral.
    r ic wisdom funde, śr wearū ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
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