Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    Former MSE Lee
    Real Life MMD: Should my husband move away for a better job?
    • #1
    • 11th Aug 11, 1:51 PM
    Real Life MMD: Should my husband move away for a better job? 11th Aug 11 at 1:51 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband move away for a better job?

    We have approx £14,500 debt we're struggling to pay off and I'm expecting a second baby in September. We'll be okay until my maternity pay runs out in June 2012, but want to return to Ireland as I've been homesick since our son was born 15 months ago. My husband's in a good job but isn't well paid. He's been offered contract work in Germany for €60 an hour, which would help us pay off our debt quickly and allow me to move home to Ireland and live with my parents for a while, but we'd only see him at weekends. So we could stay here with his safe job but struggle for the next five years in a place I don't want to be, or move and have money but break the family apart.

    Click reply to have your say

    Previous MMDs: View All


    This Forum Tip was included in MoneySavingExpert's weekly email

    Don't miss out on new deals, loopholes, and vouchers

    Last edited by Former MSE Lee; 16-08-2011 at 6:00 PM.
Page 8
    • marich
    • By marich 18th Aug 11, 11:56 PM
    • 104 Posts
    • 115 Thanks
    marich
    Get real !
    £60 for an hour's work is nigh on incredible... If he's prepared to put in the hours while he's away from you , then one month's pay will be enough to repay the mill-stone of your debt . Imagine how long it would take you to clear yourselves of it as at present...

    Let him go to Germany , you move to your family in Ireland and stay with them for support while you get your own place sorted out . In six months you will have considerable savings and be able to give your baby a great start and have financial security for yourselves .

    Sometimes you have to do it - don't hang on to him . It's rarely a chance like this comes along .
  • milvusvestal
    Debt - should we move?
    It would worry me to have accumulated so much debt, and have a second child on the way; the last thing you want to do is get further into the red. Try and look at your situation from a dispassionate point of view.

    Having got into debt that far, you really have no choice other than to live apart temporarily until you and your husband have cleared it off. Staying in England will achieve nothing, and neither will a joint move to Ireland. Bite the bullet, pare your outgoings to the bone for a while, and rely upon the strength of your relationship to get you through this. It really is surprising just how little you can live on, provided nothing consumable is wasted.
    • JayD
    • By JayD 22nd Aug 11, 5:26 PM
    • 472 Posts
    • 288 Thanks
    JayD
    For me, being together and working tghrough financial problems together is far better than ever living apart - so the suggestion of him to German and you to Ireland is totally out of the question in my eyes.

    You don't say how long you would both need to stay in Germany for - which I think is important.

    I am sure you could bear only being together for the weekends and living in Germany if it a short term option tht pays off your debts and gets you both back to Ireland.

    So, unless it is something like a 5 year contract, I would suggest German is your best option as it will get you both what you really want.

    The other thing I have always found is if you make a decision and then sleep on it, you will either wake up regretting that decision like crazy - in which case change it! - or you will wake up in a frame of mind to face what you have decided and to get on with it. Ultimately, whatever you decide, you have to go forward with a positive attitude to it.
  • CAPRI1
    move now
    ok the euro is pretty weak and yes i would move, 60n euros an hour, just say yes, the euro is 1.12 to the £.
    Last edited by CAPRI1; 22-08-2011 at 11:48 PM. Reason: i
  • CAPRI1
    stay put
    given the problems in europe. say no. At least you settled. We going back to Noosa as there is no current future in the euro and sometimes you should count your losses. Put your money in premium bonds instead
  • CAPRI1
    sorry we are on mobile internet. but we both say dont go.too many risks. and baby come frist. may all your worries be child ones.
  • Marco12452
    Go for it, you'll be happier all round and debt free, eventually.
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 26th Nov 12, 11:52 PM
    • 5,840 Posts
    • 16,976 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Just thought I would do a quick update to say that after 14 months of commuting back and forth to the UK every week, my OH has gotten a job in Ireland and moved home today.

    It was a slong slog but today is the start of the rest of our lives
    Total debt (starting April 2016): £18,920/£20,383
    BOI credit card: £7,440 OH BOI cc: £3505
    Virgin cc:£5698/£5945 OH Tesco cc: £450/£700
    RBS OD: £1827/£2000
    • John_Pierpoint
    • By John_Pierpoint 27th Nov 12, 8:04 AM
    • 8,222 Posts
    • 7,382 Thanks
    John_Pierpoint
    £60 for an hour's work is nigh on incredible... If he's prepared to put in the hours while he's away from you , then one month's pay will be enough to repay the mill-stone of your debt . Imagine how long it would take you to clear yourselves of it as at present...

    Let him go to Germany , you move to your family in Ireland and stay with them for support while you get your own place sorted out . In six months you will have considerable savings and be able to give your baby a great start and have financial security for yourselves .


    Sometimes you have to do it - don't hang on to him . It's rarely a chance like this comes along .
    Originally posted by marich
    Home Is Where The Heart Is !

    It does not appear to have worked quite like that though?

    Does the field of work for husband offer secure employment in Ireland ? (Giving tax advice to Google's European head office ? )

    £1 : 1.23 Euro

    How is the UK flat getting along?

    I hope the kids and the rest of the extended family are healthy and enjoying having the four of you back and living locally.
    Last edited by John_Pierpoint; 27-11-2012 at 8:14 AM.
    • clearmydebts
    • By clearmydebts 27th Nov 12, 11:17 AM
    • 5,840 Posts
    • 16,976 Thanks
    clearmydebts
    Home Is Where The Heart Is !

    It does not appear to have worked quite like that though?

    Does the field of work for husband offer secure employment in Ireland ? (Giving tax advice to Google's European head office ? )

    £1 : 1.23 Euro

    How is the UK flat getting along?

    I hope the kids and the rest of the extended family are healthy and enjoying having the four of you back and living locally.
    Originally posted by John_Pierpoint
    Lol! No he has nothing to do with Google!!!

    He has secured a permanent job in Ireland that is better paid than the UK and we have a friend that is renting the flat off us indefinitely so all good so far!
    Total debt (starting April 2016): £18,920/£20,383
    BOI credit card: £7,440 OH BOI cc: £3505
    Virgin cc:£5698/£5945 OH Tesco cc: £450/£700
    RBS OD: £1827/£2000
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim's to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

122Posts Today

1,582Users online

Martin's Twitter