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  • FIRST POST
    Former MSE Rose
    What to do when someone dies - new guide feedback
    • #1
    • 15th Jul 11, 5:01 PM
    What to do when someone dies - new guide feedback 15th Jul 11 at 5:01 PM
    Hi all,

    We've written a new What to do when someone dies checklist to help those who are dealing with the death of a loved one, and it'd be great to get your feedback on the guide to help others through such a difficult time.

    Please do share your experiences below, as well any tips to help others, or issues you've spotted. Are there any useful resources you've found along the way that have lightened the load, or anything you'd add to the guide? Just click 'reply' to post.

    As a few of you have asked for a printable version, here's a quick way to print the guide:

    1) Scroll to top of the guide.
    2) At the top left, just below the green sign-up box, there's a small grey 'Print' button.
    3) Click to print as normal (if you want the extra text inside the blue '+' dropdowns to print too, just scroll down the guide and click to open these before printing).

    Thanks again for your help,

    MSE Rose

    Last edited by Former MSE Rose; 30-05-2013 at 12:08 PM. Reason: Adding print info
Page 3
    • Mrs Money
    • By Mrs Money 28th Mar 15, 2:46 PM
    • 1,518 Posts
    • 6,937 Thanks
    Mrs Money
    Sorry for your loss. BT have a special number to deal with this

    0800 169 1663

    It is open Monday to Friday 800 to 1800
    Originally posted by g6jns
    Yes, thanks - unfortunately BT were unable to help when I rang them and told me categorically that there was no way to get into my relative's email. That means, I think, no way they were going to help me.
    • Mrs Money
    • By Mrs Money 28th Mar 15, 2:52 PM
    • 1,518 Posts
    • 6,937 Thanks
    Mrs Money
    I don't know how BT email accounts work, but have you tried 'forgotten password' options? Depending on the security questions, you may be able to work around them. Obviously it depends what you know ...
    Originally posted by Savvy_Sue
    Yes, this was suggested to me by BT and I know the answers to all the security questions (like mother's maiden name, name of first pet etc) - but it appears my relative thought he would be clever and write something else for the answers LOL!
    So, no go.
    I've also emailed Amazon.com - and got what looks like an automated reply telling me they have "no account with this email address" - mine of course, as I was emailing them! The whole query I have re my relative's account was ignored - unbelievable! Any further queries then ask you to log in with your email address and password - no help at all - I don't have an account with Amazon.com.
    • Tuesday Tenor
    • By Tuesday Tenor 28th Mar 15, 4:21 PM
    • 902 Posts
    • 1,204 Thanks
    Tuesday Tenor
    Does anyone have any idea how I go about closing the Amazon.com (business, I think) account of a deceased relative?
    I am the official administrator for a close relative (single with no children) who wrote and sold ebooks on Amazon.com. I'm only really just finding out about this because I've just received a tax statement (I'm assuming that's what it is) from Amazon.com in Seattle (I have a redirect on his mail address).
    I've been all over the help sections of their website and can't find anything out. I'm happy to email them but not sure if it'll get to the right person!
    All this is made more complicated because BT refuses me access to his email account (I've phoned them and have been told it's not possible- I don't actually believe that) - it would have been so much easier if I'd had access and seen what online things he was involved in!
    Throughout all this, I realise that the online world doesn't really ever consider that people die!
    Any help would be much appreciated!
    Originally posted by Mrs Money
    I remember hearing something about this on radio 4 during the last year. 'You andYours' or 'Moneybox'. It was very strange that Amazon seemed to have no procedure for dealing with executors, would only accept authority from a court order, but didn't recognise the Probate Court as giving the executor authority .... Aaaagh!

    It is a crazy situation as, as executor, you don't just wish to close the account down, but also deal with any debts and credit balances.

    I'm sorry I can't remember the outcome or the radio item, and can't find anything useful by googling.

    Except the following, which in a roundabout way, by setting up your own Amazon account, might lead you to speak to the correct department. This is from a query on an Amazon board: how do I close Amazon account for a deceased person. Response from another poster, don't think it's an official Amazon response, but seems worth trying. You have to set up you own Amazon account first, and work from there:

    Click on the orange "contact us" button to the right of your message.

    Then in question1, select "Prime and More".

    In question 2: select from the drop down menu " update account information", and then from the menu below select "close my account"

    Then click "call us" and they will telephone you in less than 1 minute - you can explain to them which account you need closed and [find out?] what "proof" or authority Amazon need from you.

    EDIT: by the way, do not worry that the question says "close MY account" - nothing happens automatically, but you will reach the correct department.



    Seems mad that you should have to set up your own Amazon account, but might be the only way ....
    Last edited by Tuesday Tenor; 28-03-2015 at 4:25 PM.
    • GreenPea
    • By GreenPea 21st Jul 15, 9:36 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    GreenPea
    Junk Mail
    Thanks for this guide, it has really helped since loosing my dad 2 weeks ago - it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are it is still a complete shock.

    Something that really helped when we lost my gran was that you can register with the mailing preference service (can't post the link but comes up if you google msponline). This meant that when my mum re-directed gran's mail to her address the junk mail stopped really quickly, which reduced the upset of getting so much post in gran's name.
    • Rooster72
    • By Rooster72 10th Aug 15, 2:05 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Rooster72
    Data security and reporting bereavement
    Just contacted Post Office to close late mother-in-law's telephone account. That was okay but they will only send final bill to her old address due to 'data security'. Nobody else seems bothered. Problem is the house was council and the keys have gone back. Suggestion was to redirect but we don't want to. They don't seem to understand that we're not trying to steal her identity but the next tenant might! Can we say if they don't send the bill to our address we're not paying?

    • wwl
    • By wwl 10th Aug 15, 2:14 PM
    • 316 Posts
    • 262 Thanks
    wwl
    Just contacted Post Office to close late mother-in-law's telephone account. That was okay but they will only send final bill to her old address due to 'data security'. Nobody else seems bothered. Problem is the house was council and the keys have gone back. Suggestion was to redirect but we don't want to. They don't seem to understand that we're not trying to steal her identity but the next tenant might! Can we say if they don't send the bill to our address we're not paying?

    Originally posted by Rooster72
    If you tell them that if they send it to the old address chances are it will never get received and therefore not paid might focus them.
    Just tell them this, in writing, and give the contact details for the executor - if they chose to ignore it, it's their problem.
    • Rooster72
    • By Rooster72 10th Aug 15, 2:41 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Rooster72
    Just contacted Post Office to close late mother-in-law's telephone account. That was okay but they will only send final bill to her old address due to 'data security'. Nobody else seems bothered. Problem is the house was council and the keys have gone back. Suggestion was to redirect but we don't want to. They don't seem to understand that we're not trying to steal her identity but the next tenant might! Can we say if they don't send the bill to our address we're not paying?

    Originally posted by Rooster72
    My wife/her daughter is executor.
    • Rooster72
    • By Rooster72 10th Aug 15, 3:00 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Rooster72
    My wife/her daughter is executor.
    Originally posted by Rooster72
    I have emailed Post Office:

    I called today to cancel my late mother-in-law's HomePhone account. This was done whilst I was on the phone. However, I was told the final bill would go to the address on account, not to that of myself and her daughter, the sole executor, due to data security procedures. No other company my mother-in-law dealt with has insisted this. I see there is more risk of the new tenant stealing her details. Her home was a council property, which was vacated and keys returned on 7 August.

    It was suggested that I set up a redirect service costing from £29.99. We would only be expecting the final HomePhone bill so I object to having to pay this for delivery of one item.

    If you will not accept the executor's address to send the final bill to, it will not be settled.
    • G6JNS
    • By G6JNS 10th Aug 15, 4:16 PM
    • 560 Posts
    • 362 Thanks
    G6JNS
    I have emailed Post Office:

    I called today to cancel my late mother-in-law's HomePhone account. This was done whilst I was on the phone. However, I was told the final bill would go to the address on account, not to that of myself and her daughter, the sole executor, due to data security procedures. No other company my mother-in-law dealt with has insisted this. I see there is more risk of the new tenant stealing her details. Her home was a council property, which was vacated and keys returned on 7 August.

    It was suggested that I set up a redirect service costing from £29.99. We would only be expecting the final HomePhone bill so I object to having to pay this for delivery of one item.

    If you will not accept the executor's address to send the final bill to, it will not be settled.
    Originally posted by Rooster72
    It may be a pain but I would lodge a formal complaint with the Post Office. It is not an uncommon problem and the jobsworths can only do as they are told.
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 10th Aug 15, 7:57 PM
    • 26,307 Posts
    • 15,812 Thanks
    getmore4less
    One of the downsides of dealing over the phone.

    Do the job in writing, notification with death certificate and the address for all future communication to the executor.

    The problem is you can't ignore it even a Section 27 notices does not protect the executor on this one.
    • Rooster72
    • By Rooster72 13th Aug 15, 10:28 AM
    • 20 Posts
    • 4 Thanks
    Rooster72
    Don't worry, we will. The Post Office have even refused to budge or offer a solution to my wife when she called this morning. We warned them: we can't guarantee payment without the bill coming to our home address. It'll be too late to book a redirection service now so they've had it.
    • wwl
    • By wwl 13th Aug 15, 11:10 AM
    • 316 Posts
    • 262 Thanks
    wwl
    Send by recorded delivery, so if you do end up with debt collectors etc. chasing, you have proof that you've notified them so you won't be liable for any collection costs.
    • iosullivan
    • By iosullivan 30th Nov 15, 10:31 PM
    • 59 Posts
    • 15 Thanks
    iosullivan
    Death In Service Benfit?
    Is anyone able to confirm the following for me?

    My father In law passed away on Friday 27th November and was only a week into his new job. While on his lunch break he passed away (not on site) Now he was only a week in to his new job but yet to sign his contract but on the company's pay roll. Based on contact not being signed, his he entitled to any death in benefit i.e. most company's pay out 2 3 4 times annual salary?
    • Yorkshireman99
    • By Yorkshireman99 30th Nov 15, 11:02 PM
    • 1,630 Posts
    • 1,380 Thanks
    Yorkshireman99
    Is anyone able to confirm the following for me?

    My father In law passed away on Friday 27th November and was only a week into his new job. While on his lunch break he passed away (not on site) Now he was only a week in to his new job but yet to sign his contract but on the company's pay roll. Based on contact not being signed, his he entitled to any death in benefit i.e. most company's pay out 2 3 4 times annual salary?
    Originally posted by iosullivan
    Impossible to say without knowing the company policy. Even though he had not signed he would still have a contract of employment. You need to ask the company.
    • matheather
    • By matheather 20th May 16, 1:53 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    matheather
    I lost my husband 15 months ago this was very sudden we was married for over 31yrs. My husband and I own our property though property wasn't in my name, we own the property out right it's all paid we was due to make wills but unfortunately he passed away suddenly. I have been for advice through three different solicitors to see how I go about getting my name put on the deeds. I have also been in touch with the bank where the deeds are kept and there will not tell me anything regarding I have been told that I have to pay up over £2000 just to get my name changed. Can anybody help me or advise me what to do because I thought you automatically inherited these things after loosing your husband/wife
    • Jason8409
    • By Jason8409 11th Jun 16, 5:34 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Jason8409
    Thank you for providing such helpful information. However, would it be possible to add a really basic guide to property sales for children who inherit parents' property when a surviving parent dies? I think this must be the most common way most adults inherit property. Ie literally - at what stage are you allowed to start clearing and selling if you and your siblings inherit? I know the responsibility of an empty house weighed very heavily on my family members following a recent bereavement. Most on line advice focuses on inheritance tax but generally solicitors will deal with that side of things - the nuts and bolts of house clearing and property sales fall mainly to family members.
    Thank you.
    • SevenOfNine
    • By SevenOfNine 12th Jun 16, 11:12 AM
    • 981 Posts
    • 879 Thanks
    SevenOfNine
    An MSE user sent me this link which might be useful here. It has other sections for closing various things. http://www.clicsargent.org.uk/content/closing-email-accounts

    Just as an 'aside' - perhaps posters could consider putting their questions on how to deal with specific issues as individual threads on the forum, so questions aren't buried in here. Which would perhaps result in more detailed answers & those that are answered are getting lost in subsequent unrelated posts.

    Just seems a more effective way of getting the help requested.
    Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
    • MSE Megan F
    • By MSE Megan F 5th Oct 16, 5:56 PM
    • 27 Posts
    • 15 Thanks
    MSE Megan F
    Hi Jason,

    I'll look into this and see how we might be able to add it to the site.

    Thank you for your feedback, it's always appreciated.

    MSE Megan

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    • steve6375
    • By steve6375 12th Oct 16, 9:21 AM
    • 54 Posts
    • 54 Thanks
    steve6375
    Don't change a joint bank account to soon
    If your spouse dies and you had a joint bank account which is in both your names, I would advise that you do not change the bank account to just your name for at least a year or until you are sure that all other accounts/shares/holdings/assets have been cashed in or converted to just your name.
    The reason for this is that if you receive a cheque (e.g. for share dividend/bonus/closing account, etc.) and it is made payable to 'Mr and Mrs X', then your bank will not accept it unless your bank account is also in the name of 'Mr and Mrs X'! I found this out the hard way after changing the account name to just my name!
    After much frustration with the bank (even though I had probate and all certificates, etc.), I had to go to a 'Cash converter\pawn shop' and cash the cheque there for a 10% fee.
    ss
    • FiadhFiadh
    • By FiadhFiadh 12th Oct 16, 10:47 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    FiadhFiadh
    Caring for pets of the deceased
    Just to add to the information in this incredibly useful guide - note that some companion animal charities provide a service through which you can register your pets so that they can be contacted to take them in for rehoming in event of your death. We have our cats registered with the Cats Protection 'Cats Guardians' service. There may be similar for other types of pets.

    In addition, I urge everyone to include provision for their pets in their wills - we specify who to contact to take on ownership of our hens (having got their agreement before including them of course), and include an instruction to contact Cats Protection to ensure our cats are cared for according to the agreement with have with them. The benefit for the charity is that it also prompted us to include a financial dedication in our wills in recognition of the service they'll be providing.
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