Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • jtr2803
    • By jtr2803 8th Jun 11, 7:55 PM
    • 3,182Posts
    • 6,162Thanks
    jtr2803
    Waiting for marriage (and/or a proposal!) - how did you stay sane?!
    • #1
    • 8th Jun 11, 7:55 PM
    Waiting for marriage (and/or a proposal!) - how did you stay sane?! 8th Jun 11 at 7:55 PM
    OK, don't all laugh but I would love (read as I am desperate for) my OH to propose , thought I would share my light hearted desperations with others as hopefully someone out there can sympathise!

    We have been together 3 years this month and have lived together pretty much the whole time so we know each other very well now, due to the way in which we got together (long story) I, and a number of my closest friends, thought that a proposal would be fairly swift but it seems that isn't to be the case! Oh I've hinted pretty outrageously at times , we haven't long got back from 2 weeks in the Maldives and I really thought he was going to do it there but it wasn't to be....unfortunately he also quite directly told me halfway through the holiday he wasn't going to either....he has a fantastic way with words sometimes *rolleyes*. Other than that we have a fantastic relationship and he is my very best friend, he is affectionate, loving, he cooks for me, calls me at work to sing Stevie Wonders 'I just called to say I love you', he delivers my favourite cake to work when I am having a bad day and he often brings me home flowers . Is there any surprise I want to marry him so much?

    So.....after all that waffle....did anyone else have an agonising wait before their proposal? Did anyone else just tell them it was about time they did it? How did you stay sane during the wait? I have a couple of friends who are getting married soon and they all got with their partners after us so I am doing the 'when is it my turn?' thing. Argh, I am so impatient!


    Last edited by jtr2803; 08-01-2012 at 2:10 PM.

    Very happily married on 10th April 2013
    Spero Meliora
    Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis
Page 116
    • leslieknope
    • By leslieknope 17th Feb 17, 2:55 PM
    • 247 Posts
    • 339 Thanks
    leslieknope
    little rant here.... i don't necessarily want to get married. i've never been someone who likes to be centre of attention. but it's disheartening that after 3 1/2 years together, my OH doesn't even seem to be considering it. it feels like everyone else has progressed so much more in their relationships than we have we don't even live together, although that is more money related than anything else. hopefully to change in the summer! and maybe he doesn't feel like that is a viable step until we are living together. but as sad as it sounds, it would still be nice to get a ring just to seal the deal that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me even if we're not bothered about having a big wedding and party.

    i'm not even that expensive! saw an engagement ring on etsy for £100 that i loved!
    CCCC #33: £42/£240
    DFW: £4355/£4405
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 20th Feb 17, 9:40 AM
    • 7,593 Posts
    • 16,737 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Oh I do love Etsy! The twig rings they have on there are so beautiful

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #JC4PM
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 20th Feb 17, 4:39 PM
    • 2,948 Posts
    • 13,107 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I had a conversation with OH last night about how important I feel it is to make that commitment before children, and he said if we get pregnant he would be happy to have a small wedding so we all have the same name, but that in general marriage scares him after his brothers divorce.

    I would understand that except his brother is now happier than ever with a new partner, and has a great relationship with his ex-wife and her new husband. Just feels like another excuse!
    £470/3000 OH BC(84.33% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £470/31010.23 (98.48% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,995.00 (2017 O/P £1729.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16166.98/14,539.71
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 21st Feb 17, 11:08 AM
    • 7,593 Posts
    • 16,737 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Was it an expensive divorce?

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #JC4PM
    • Mrs_Ryan
    • By Mrs_Ryan 26th Feb 17, 11:43 PM
    • 10,208 Posts
    • 18,400 Thanks
    Mrs_Ryan
    My OH uses his parents' divorce as an excuse for us not to get married. However he also knows that if my Dad's health goes downhill any further anytime soon and we're not at least engaged then we're over. I've told him on many occasions that as the unmarried daughter I will be expected to look after my parents but he just says 'but you're in a loving relationship!' Yeah, but I'm not married so that doesn't count!
    My Dad unfortunately is in extremely poor health, physically and mentally and I've been quite blunt with OH about this. I don't think he quite gets that I am 100% serious about it. He knows I would like my dad to see me get married and that it breaks my dads heart that I'm not married. Me and mum are the only ones who've not been divorced but Dad is adamant that because I am not married then it is my duty to look after him and mum in their time of need because having a boyfriend is not a legal meaningful relationship. I'm a real Daddy's girl and I completely respect this viewpoint and I will go if I have to. OH has said before when I've threatened to leave that he will propose but I honestly don't believe he will. He utterly takes me for granted sometimes but he can't have his cake and eat it!
    Last edited by Mrs_Ryan; 26-02-2017 at 11:48 PM.
    Very proud to be Open University BA (Hons) English Lang and Lit Graduate! ❤️DMU MA English begins 09/17
    WFC and pleased to be sponsor for the 2nd season ❤️ 🐝
    Will always miss you Elle and will never forget you, brightest star in the sky 😢
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 27th Feb 17, 9:35 AM
    • 2,948 Posts
    • 13,107 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Was it an expensive divorce?

    HBS x
    Originally posted by heartbreak_star
    Not particularly, there is a child involved and quite high child maintenance payments but he will be responsible for child maintenance if we have a child then split up anyway so not sure I understand his thoughts on that!
    £470/3000 OH BC(84.33% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £470/31010.23 (98.48% paid)
    Mortgage - £161,995.00 (2017 O/P £1729.74) PAYDBX 17 #006 - £16166.98/14,539.71
    • BeckyAP
    • By BeckyAP 25th Aug 17, 12:30 PM
    • 20 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    BeckyAP
    When my OH proposed, I was completely caught off guard!
    I'd been hinting at it for about 6 months to a year before he proposed but more recently just stopped hassling.
    I thought he'd do it whenever he was ready for it, fair enough!
    For our four year anniversary, we'd book to stay out on the Solent Forts in Portsmouth. Everything was paid for 50/50 so I didn't think there would be anything I wasn't aware of.
    Early in the morning, we go up the lighthouse to try and catch the sunrise. I get bored and want to go back to the room for a cup of tea to find him down on one knee asking if I'll be his wife!
    Turns out he'd been planning it for a few months, sourced a ring off Etsy showing the coastline with the diamond marking the fort out at sea (swoon!) and even asked my parent's permission (which I appreciated) without me even knowing!
    Now I've just got to try and motivate him into planning a wedding!!
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 14th Sep 17, 4:37 PM
    • 7,593 Posts
    • 16,737 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    I've gone off the idea. Our relationship isn't all it could be at the moment.

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

    #JC4PM
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 16th Sep 17, 5:44 PM
    • 1,136 Posts
    • 4,132 Thanks
    lika_86
    Sorry to hear that HBS, hopefully it's just a blip.

    Congrats to those who have graduated from this thread lately!
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

109Posts Today

1,138Users online

Martin's Twitter
  • Shana tova umetuka - a sweet Jewish New Year to all celebrating. I won't be online the rest of t'week, as I take the time to be with family

  • Dear Steve. Please note doing a poll to ask people's opinion does not in itself imply an opinion! https://t.co/UGvWlMURxy

  • Luciana is on the advisory board of @mmhpi (we have MPs from most parties) https://t.co/n99NAxGAAQ

  • Follow Martin