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  • FIRST POST
    • jtr2803
    • By jtr2803 8th Jun 11, 7:55 PM
    • 3,177Posts
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    jtr2803
    Waiting for marriage (and/or a proposal!) - how did you stay sane?!
    • #1
    • 8th Jun 11, 7:55 PM
    Waiting for marriage (and/or a proposal!) - how did you stay sane?! 8th Jun 11 at 7:55 PM
    OK, don't all laugh but I would love (read as I am desperate for) my OH to propose , thought I would share my light hearted desperations with others as hopefully someone out there can sympathise!

    We have been together 3 years this month and have lived together pretty much the whole time so we know each other very well now, due to the way in which we got together (long story) I, and a number of my closest friends, thought that a proposal would be fairly swift but it seems that isn't to be the case! Oh I've hinted pretty outrageously at times , we haven't long got back from 2 weeks in the Maldives and I really thought he was going to do it there but it wasn't to be....unfortunately he also quite directly told me halfway through the holiday he wasn't going to either....he has a fantastic way with words sometimes *rolleyes*. Other than that we have a fantastic relationship and he is my very best friend, he is affectionate, loving, he cooks for me, calls me at work to sing Stevie Wonders 'I just called to say I love you', he delivers my favourite cake to work when I am having a bad day and he often brings me home flowers . Is there any surprise I want to marry him so much?

    So.....after all that waffle....did anyone else have an agonising wait before their proposal? Did anyone else just tell them it was about time they did it? How did you stay sane during the wait? I have a couple of friends who are getting married soon and they all got with their partners after us so I am doing the 'when is it my turn?' thing. Argh, I am so impatient!


    Last edited by jtr2803; 08-01-2012 at 2:10 PM.

    Very happily married on 10th April 2013
    Spero Meliora
    Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis
Page 115
    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 30th Jun 16, 6:00 PM
    • 971 Posts
    • 3,701 Thanks
    lika_86
    Congratulations Zephyr! That's awesome and actually a very cool proposal!
    • cashewnut
    • By cashewnut 30th Jun 16, 7:35 PM
    • 267 Posts
    • 374 Thanks
    cashewnut
    Zephyr, I think that's lovely! Many congratulations to you and your OH
    • gothrockchic1
    • By gothrockchic1 6th Jul 16, 12:57 PM
    • 1,929 Posts
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    gothrockchic1
    Congratulations Zephyr!

    The proposal made me

    Make you get a ring to seal the deal
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    • gothrockchic1
    • By gothrockchic1 6th Jul 16, 12:59 PM
    • 1,929 Posts
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    gothrockchic1
    To those who are waiting, there is hope. OH proposed last April and we get married next month.

    Never say never x
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    • PrettyKittyKat
    • By PrettyKittyKat 11th Jul 16, 12:11 PM
    • 38 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    PrettyKittyKat
    Congratulations Zephyr! That is so lovely that you are getting married on the anniversary of meeting.
    • PrettyKittyKat
    • By PrettyKittyKat 5th Oct 16, 4:11 PM
    • 38 Posts
    • 73 Thanks
    PrettyKittyKat
    I thought I would pop on to let you all know that my other half proposed a week and a half ago!

    It was a wonderful day, a proposal that was very personal to us, and a stunning ring which I still can't believe is mine! Even more so the words he said before he proposed were so lovely and heartfelt. Definitely a memory I will treasure! And since he proposed he has been excited helping with the planning and calling me his fianc! at every opportunity, which is lovely and a little unexpected! We want to get married next year so it is systems a go go now!

    It was definitely worth the wait.... I hope it isn't long till you are all graduating the thread too!
    • SpekySquarehead
    • By SpekySquarehead 5th Oct 16, 4:49 PM
    • 916 Posts
    • 7,148 Thanks
    SpekySquarehead
    I've just stumbled upon this thread and I think this may be the best place to post my thoughts.

    I'm a guy and I'm 26. I've been seeing my GF for over a year and for the past few months, she's told me and everyone else that's desperate for me to propose!! Wow, wow, wow - calm down! I won't be pressured in to something as huge as a proposal. We don't live together and in my eyes, it's still early days. I do feel the pressure though and I hate it when she brings it up as I don't want to hurt her feelings as if it'll never happen because it will at some point.

    Her friends are worse. They've told her that that they'll split up with their partners if they haven't been proposed to by a certain date! Bonkers in my eyes.

    Am I missing something, what's the rush?
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    • lika_86
    • By lika_86 7th Oct 16, 2:26 PM
    • 971 Posts
    • 3,701 Thanks
    lika_86
    I've just stumbled upon this thread and I think this may be the best place to post my thoughts.

    I'm a guy and I'm 26. I've been seeing my GF for over a year and for the past few months, she's told me and everyone else that's desperate for me to propose!! Wow, wow, wow - calm down! I won't be pressured in to something as huge as a proposal. We don't live together and in my eyes, it's still early days. I do feel the pressure though and I hate it when she brings it up as I don't want to hurt her feelings as if it'll never happen because it will at some point.

    Her friends are worse. They've told her that that they'll split up with their partners if they haven't been proposed to by a certain date! Bonkers in my eyes.

    Am I missing something, what's the rush?
    Originally posted by SpekySquarehead
    I think you need to be honest with your girlfriend and tell her that although you aren't saying you won't ever propose it's still early days and set out where you would need to be in order to propose (ie. you'd want to live together for a few years first or whatever it is). Maybe if everyone else is telling her it should happen that she's got it in her head that it might, much better to let her know it won't in the near future.
    • Gloomendoom
    • By Gloomendoom 14th Oct 16, 8:57 AM
    • 11,453 Posts
    • 15,327 Thanks
    Gloomendoom
    I've just stumbled upon this thread and I think this may be the best place to post my thoughts.

    I'm a guy and I'm 26. I've been seeing my GF for over a year and for the past few months, she's told me and everyone else that's desperate for me to propose!! Wow, wow, wow - calm down! I won't be pressured in to something as huge as a proposal. We don't live together and in my eyes, it's still early days.
    Originally posted by SpekySquarehead
    You don't have to live together before you propose. My wife didn't move in with me until after we were married.

    Her friends are worse. They've told her that that they'll split up with their partners if they haven't been proposed to by a certain date! Bonkers in my eyes.
    One of my wife's friends had mapped out a strict timeline for the rest of her life and gave her long term boyfriend a marriage ultimatum. He departed stage left. This knocked her for six and she took a couple of years to get over it. By then the timeline had marched on a bit and to get things back on track with the first baby born by the set date, she rushed out and married some bloke she hardly knew. The baby was born six months later (on time). Unfortunately, things went downhill from there. She is now a divorced single mother.
    Advice; it rhymes with mice. Advise; it rhymes with wise.
    • mai_taylor
    • By mai_taylor 14th Oct 16, 10:07 AM
    • 152 Posts
    • 309 Thanks
    mai_taylor
    I've just stumbled upon this thread and I think this may be the best place to post my thoughts.

    I'm a guy and I'm 26. I've been seeing my GF for over a year and for the past few months, she's told me and everyone else that's desperate for me to propose!! Wow, wow, wow - calm down! I won't be pressured in to something as huge as a proposal. We don't live together and in my eyes, it's still early days. I do feel the pressure though and I hate it when she brings it up as I don't want to hurt her feelings as if it'll never happen because it will at some point.

    Her friends are worse. They've told her that that they'll split up with their partners if they haven't been proposed to by a certain date! Bonkers in my eyes.

    Am I missing something, what's the rush?
    Originally posted by SpekySquarehead
    No rush but I knew my OH was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with from about 6 months maybe before, so way wait? Sound like you're not too sure about the relationship to be honest.
    • zoesmummy_2006
    • By zoesmummy_2006 25th Oct 16, 7:31 PM
    • 787 Posts
    • 818 Thanks
    zoesmummy_2006
    I think I need to join this thread! I've been with my boyfriend 2 years, and in the last couple weeks he's mentioned that he was talking engagement rings with his dad, we watched great British bake off (an old one) and they were making wedding cakes....he said I have to make ours, that he wants a huge layered Victoria sponge and that he will happily only eat my cake for the rest of his life. Well it's my birthday today, he'd said a couple weeks back that he'd thought about booking us a couple nights away, then said too expensive. Then we were lay in bed last night and he was telling me how happy he is and how happy I make him. We were going to go out this evening, he had me organise my sister to babysit. Then he's changed his mind on that so we're currently sat on the sofa watching the soaps. We've been bowling with the kids for my birthday. Don't get me wrong, it's been a lovely day. But it just seems to have been a letdown, after all the wedding talk recently I had honestly thought he might propose. And now I feel silly cos I feel like crying and like it's really just been another day and not at all what I had hoped. He keeps asking me if I'd had a nice day and I keep saying yes, which is true I have, but it's just not turned into the day I thought/hoped. I even paid for the bloody bowling myself!!!
    I just feel like he's never gonna commit fully. Sorry I'm just feeling very sorry for myself I guess ��
    • Keen Young Learner
    • By Keen Young Learner 27th Oct 16, 8:13 AM
    • 60 Posts
    • 178 Thanks
    Keen Young Learner
    I got engaged last week! 1 week and 1 day ago, your original message could have been from me. I was so impatient and I felt like "this is the most important decision of our lives, why is it his decision alone when it happens?"

    BUT

    When he proposed, my OH told me that it had taken so long because he and my best friend had been designing and commissioning a bespoke ring for me for the past six months! He had been waitinf die ring to be completed. Of course, I wasn't to know that this was what the hold up was, and that he was as impatient as I was! I'm sure that all will become clear once it happens 😉
    KYLxx
    • irishwench69
    • By irishwench69 23rd Nov 16, 6:47 PM
    • 793 Posts
    • 5,624 Thanks
    irishwench69
    So I've been lurking since this thread started, but maybe it's time for me to finally add my story. I've been with my OH for nearly 11 years (it's our 11th anniversary on the 27th July)

    [/snip]

    If we wait for the "perfect time", what if that never happens? While I love him dearly and can't imagine not being with him, being his "girlfriend" after 11 years just seems so......trite. I want to be his wife, out there, loud and proud!
    Originally posted by irishwench69
    Wanted to come back and give an update.....I am now engaged!!! :heart :

    My fiance took me on a suprise trip to Lyon.....and after a couple of days of wining, dining and lazy wanderings around the markets (we're both big foodies), he persuaded me we needed to take a VERY early morning walk (cue grumbling from me - not the biggest morning person ever!), where in the private grounds of the Basillica (beautiful btw!), watching the sunrise over Lyon, he dropped to one knee. So so happy right now - keep looking down at my hand and grinning like a loon.

    Ring picture attached (sorry for the big pic!!):


    It is a vintage design which he had resized and engraved - LOVE!

    Anyway, we've been together over 14 years, so some hope for those of you still waiting. If it is meant to be, keep the faith.

    IW x
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    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 24th Nov 16, 12:59 PM
    • 7,073 Posts
    • 15,304 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Squarehead, I think you may have missed the point of the thread - it's quite lighthearted and some of us have been with our partners 5 or 10 years that said, I agree with the posters who've said have a chat to your ladyfriend about it. Maybe she's just super happy with you

    Irish, Zephyr, Kitty...CONGRATULATIONS!!

    HBS x
    I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.
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