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When to report bad parenting?
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# 1
amcluesent
Old 04-07-2010, 8:20 PM
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Default When to report bad parenting?

What are peeps views on this? Women a few doors down is pure chav and makes a bloody racket, obviously the rent is being paid for by the Council. Anyhow, she's got two girls of maybe 4 and 6 who she screams demands at all day - her voice carries 50m easily.

Today, shouts to 'get in' were ignored, resulting in 4 or 5 very audible blows to the child whilst still in the garden followed by much wailing.

What would be the threshold to tip off NSPCC or social services?
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# 2
McKneff
Old 04-07-2010, 8:32 PM
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social services, no messing.

These poor kids dont stand a chance do they, unless its stopped now they will be doing exactly the same thing
to their kids in 20 years time.

And OP in fairness, its not necessarily so that this behaviour is because she is on benefits and having her rent paid.
There are bad parents in all walks of life, however much they work, or dont, and however much money they have.
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# 3
meritaten
Old 04-07-2010, 8:34 PM
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thats the threshold hun - phone social services. youre concerned about physical and mental violence. so much so you posted on here. so phone them.
There sure are a lot of laws in this country - but there aint much Justice!!!
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# 4
MyRubyRed
Old 04-07-2010, 8:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meritaten View Post
thats the threshold hun - phone social services. youre concerned about physical and mental violence. so much so you posted on here. so phone them.
Totally agree. And good on you for being concerned
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# 5
busiscoming2
Old 04-07-2010, 8:38 PM
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I would agree. I am not against the occasional smack but this is ovbiously not the case here. Contact social services or perhaps the NSPCC or childline could point you in the right direction.
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# 6
jillyjacks
Old 04-07-2010, 8:38 PM
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you can phone social services direct and not leave your name just google your local area to find out the number.....once you have reported it they have a duty to investigate
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# 7
xmaslolly76
Old 04-07-2010, 8:42 PM
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If you are at all worried i would call them now, better a concerned neighbour reports and nothing is found than the poor kids are beaten daily with no body bothering. I have smacked my kids on very rare occasions but its one short sharp smack on the botton or the hand not numerous blows it sounds very out of order to me.

If you do report her i wouldnt mention her being a chav or having everything paid for her it could make you sound like its a personal dislike of the woman more than concern for the welfare of the children although i can understand where you are coming from if she truely is that bad.
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# 8
choccymoose
Old 04-07-2010, 8:43 PM
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If you have any concerns you can always ring your duty office and ask a what if scenario, then they will give you advice without you having to give exact details then make the decision from there..
but in all honesty I would agree with the other posters, you were concerned enough to ask on here!
If that is what is going on outdoors what could be going on inside. Write down what you have seen and heard and keep a log of dates and times, so that you have it to hand for SS keep if factual.
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# 9
nottslass
Old 04-07-2010, 8:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amcluesent View Post
What are peeps views on this? Women a few doors down is pure chav and makes a bloody racket, obviously the rent is being paid for by the Council. Anyhow, she's got two girls of maybe 4 and 6 who she screams demands at all day - her voice carries 50m easily.

Today, shouts to 'get in' were ignored, resulting in 4 or 5 very audible blows to the child whilst still in the garden followed by much wailing.

What would be the threshold to tip off NSPCC or social services?
Obviously you must inform the authorities if you genuinely feel the children are being physically abused.

Can't quite see why the council paying the rent or the fact she's "a chav" has anything to do with it though...............
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# 10
mikey72
Old 04-07-2010, 8:59 PM
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Don't forget the noise. Chav messing up the sunday afternoon.
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# 11
tessie bear
Old 04-07-2010, 9:02 PM
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poor kids...tell someone too many people turn a blind eye
on the brink...
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# 12
PasturesNew
Old 04-07-2010, 9:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amcluesent View Post


Today, shouts to 'get in' were ignored, resulting in 4 or 5 very audible blows to the child whilst still in the garden followed by much wailing.
That brought back happy childhood memories.

If it is occasionally, then it's probably normal. But if she's a low life, hopeless piece of scum and this is quite regular, then get on the phone.
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# 13
nottslass
Old 04-07-2010, 9:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by busiscoming2 View Post
I would agree. I am not against the occasional smack but this is obviously not the case here. Contact social services or perhaps the NSPCC or childline could point you in the right direction.
To be fair the OP has made no reference to the fact that this was a regular occurrence,or that there is any reason to believe that the children are indeed "at risk".Although I choose not to physically discipline my own children,it is not against then law to use smacking as a form of discipline.

The OP has not indicated any other reasons as to why they would be concerned for the children's welfare - They have not mentioned seeing bruises on the children,do not say they are being neglected or have they witnessed seeing any form of physical violence toward the children.

Children do need protecting,but from reading the OP It appears that although the mother concerned may not have "ideal parenting skills" and maybe she chooses to shout at her kids Rather than use calm reasoning it does not necessarily mean that she is a candidate for a child protection conference.
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# 14
Fang
Old 04-07-2010, 10:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PasturesNew View Post
That brought back happy childhood memories.

If it is occasionally, then it's probably normal. But if she's a low life, hopeless piece of scum and this is quite regular, then get on the phone.
Normal?! Bloody normal? Not even on !!!!!!!' Tenco.
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# 15
jillyjacks
Old 04-07-2010, 10:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nottslass View Post
To be fair the OP has made no reference to the fact that this was a regular occurrence,or that there is any reason to believe that the children are indeed "at risk".Although I choose not to physically discipline my own children,it is not against then law to use smacking as a form of discipline.

The OP has not indicated any other reasons as to why they would be concerned for the children's welfare - They have not mentioned seeing bruises on the children,do not say they are being neglected or have they witnessed seeing any form of physical violence toward the children.

Children do need protecting,but from reading the OP It appears that although the mother concerned may not have "ideal parenting skills" and maybe she chooses to shout at her kids Rather than use calm reasoning it does not necessarily mean that she is a candidate for a child protection conference.
better safe than sorry though....what if there is child abuse and she did nothing?? could anyone live with that on their conscience?/ I couldn't...if there isnt a case to answer then social services will take no action...yes the mum may be upset but it may help her think twice about lashing out at them again
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# 16
jellyhead
Old 04-07-2010, 10:16 PM
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If she is struggling to cope then perhaps she'll be offered parenting classes to help her play and bond with her children, or some other form of help. You might be doing her a favour.
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# 17
nottslass
Old 04-07-2010, 10:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillyjacks View Post
better safe than sorry though....what if there is child abuse and she did nothing?? could anyone live with that on their conscience?/ I couldn't...if there isn't a case to answer then social services will take no action...yes the mum may be upset but it may help her think twice about lashing out at them again
I agree that "its better to be safe than sorry",but to be fair the original post could apply to half the country - If every instance of parents shouting at their kids or indeed smacking them was reported as potential child abuse SS would be visiting practically every household in the country.
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# 18
jillyjacks
Old 04-07-2010, 10:23 PM
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the original post said "4 or 5 audible blows" to me thats not acceptable...and if half the country was doing that to their children then I would be glad if social services were to visit every one of them
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# 19
Jojo the Tightfisted
Old 04-07-2010, 10:24 PM
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Being a chav, receiving housing benefit and being noisy are all perfectly legal and say more about your own deficiencies than anyone else's.

If this is a real post and not an imaginary one, call social services. They'll want to know your name and address, to show that you aren't just making malicious allegations due to your own animosity towards this woman, and then they can spend their time investigating an alleged assault that wasn't actually witnessed by anyone, much less an unbiased person, when they could be intervening in a case where there is documented evidence of abuse or neglect.
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# 20
jillyjacks
Old 04-07-2010, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jojo the Tightfisted View Post
Being a chav, receiving housing benefit and being noisy are all perfectly legal and say more about your own deficiencies than anyone else's.

If this is a real post and not an imaginary one, call social services. They'll want to know your name and address, to show that you aren't just making malicious allegations due to your own animosity towards this woman, and then they can spend their time investigating an alleged assault that wasn't actually witnessed by anyone, much less an unbiased person, when they could be intervening in a case where there is documented evidence of abuse or neglect.

they wont want to know your name at all much less your address....as I said earlier, you can make an annonymous referral and it will be investigated in exactly the same way as a one where the person leaves their name
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