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    • athensgeorgia
    • By athensgeorgia 5th Apr 16, 11:49 AM
    • 607 Posts
    • 400 Thanks
    athensgeorgia
    Just catching up a little.

    I started my counselling, it's my third session this evening. I'm not sure if it's because we've had a couple of bank holidays and I had some annual leave but I'm feeling really positive.

    At the end of the sessions my counsellor says lets recap what we discussed. I'm not sure if it's his tone, or this is how it's supposed to help but he recaps in a way that I didn't intend it to sound and I'm seeing it all from a totally different perspective. I feel, already, like it's helping me.

    3 months ago I didn't think I could get to a point where I would have positive days. Don't get me wrong I still have 'down' days and I do think about the MC every single day, but I feel like I'm having more 'better' days.

    Physically my cycle has still not settled. Not sure if it's all because of the MC or because of the PCOS but it's not weighing down on my mind like it was.

    I can genuinely say I feel some sort of improvement to the torment of just after the MC. I've been shown that this isn't something to rush and 'get over' but it's something to be dealt with in my own time. And it affects each person differently. Which I was told before but I just couldn't see it for myself until now. Maybe it's the counselling or maybe, as they say, time is a healer and I'm on my road to recovery.
    • TamVilla80
    • By TamVilla80 5th Apr 16, 12:55 PM
    • 558 Posts
    • 554 Thanks
    TamVilla80
    That's great news athensgeorgia. I find my counselling really helpful, and I'm sure it's not for everyone, but it's good that you are finding it beneficial. They are quite sneaky these counsellors, you think you are just chatting but they totally have you sussed, lol
    • athensgeorgia
    • By athensgeorgia 5th Apr 16, 6:02 PM
    • 607 Posts
    • 400 Thanks
    athensgeorgia
    That's great news athensgeorgia. I find my counselling really helpful, and I'm sure it's not for everyone, but it's good that you are finding it beneficial. They are quite sneaky these counsellors, you think you are just chatting but they totally have you sussed, lol
    Originally posted by TamVilla80
    You worded it perfectly. I've thought that at the end of each session so far, he's totally sussed it all out.
    • saver-j
    • By saver-j 5th Apr 16, 8:55 PM
    • 124 Posts
    • 1,761 Thanks
    saver-j
    Glad to hear you are feeling a bit more positive athensgeorgia.

    Interested to see how helpful you and Tamvilla80 have found counselling. I am leaning towards asking the gp about it.
    • TamVilla80
    • By TamVilla80 5th Apr 16, 10:09 PM
    • 558 Posts
    • 554 Thanks
    TamVilla80
    It's been a lifesaver for me and my husband, I'm not sure how we would have coped with the loss of our son (and subsequent life issues, including my hideous boss and leaving my job) without the help of our counsellor.
    She is amazing. Nearly 70 years old but doesn't want to retire as she knows they won't replace her because of budget cuts. She lost 2 boys over 30 years ago, so knows exactly what we are going through,and I swear she is our living guardian angel!
    Just try it. I think a lot can depend on how open you are and who your counsellor is, but it doesn't hurt to try does it. Just having someone that can understand us, and sometimes clearing thoughts up for us, has really helped us get through the past 6 months
    • athensgeorgia
    • By athensgeorgia 6th Apr 16, 3:01 PM
    • 607 Posts
    • 400 Thanks
    athensgeorgia
    Glad to hear you are feeling a bit more positive athensgeorgia.

    Interested to see how helpful you and Tamvilla80 have found counselling. I am leaning towards asking the gp about it.
    Originally posted by saver-j
    I attended my third session last night. I'm not sure if this is national or just the provider I have gone with but I get 7 sessions for free and if I would like any further sessions they're paid for.

    As this is only my third session I can only give you feedback from what I have experienced so far. When I MC, it felt like the end of the world. I had so many unanswered questions and feelings I was struggling to deal with. Don't get me wrong I'm still not quite 'me' but I also feel the counselling is helping me. I know it doesn't help everybody but I already know I'm glad I went ahead.

    The first session I spent the whole time talking about the MC and crying, second was half the MC and other things and last night was hardly any of the MC. I've been shown things in a totally different perspective than how I was seeing them and I feel it's helping me in life in general and not just the MC.

    I would say make the referral or ask your GP to (in my area we do it ourselves), and give it a try. If you feel anything like I did after my MC nothing could feel worse but hopefully you'll gain from it. In our area there's an 8 - 10 week waiting list, so I'd advise you to refer now and if you feel it's not for you when you get a place don't attend.

    HTH.
    • DivenParker
    • By DivenParker 7th Apr 16, 9:09 AM
    • 11 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    DivenParker
    a lovely thread to start up.

    all my sympathies to all who have had mcs
    • MancMama4
    • By MancMama4 7th Apr 16, 3:31 PM
    • 618 Posts
    • 870 Thanks
    MancMama4
    saver-j did you get my pm about the acupuncture?! Can't see my response in my sent items - if not let me know I'll resend the link x
    MancMama4 (35) TTC since Apr 15, MMC Dec 15, Our Rainbow Baby Boy Due Jan 17
    • saver-j
    • By saver-j 7th Apr 16, 8:59 PM
    • 124 Posts
    • 1,761 Thanks
    saver-j
    Mancmama - yes thank you, have replied. X
    • saver-j
    • By saver-j 14th Oct 16, 3:58 PM
    • 124 Posts
    • 1,761 Thanks
    saver-j
    It's pregnancy and baby loss awareness week. That has made me want to come back to post again here because after my miscarriage earlier this year I found reading this entire thread so helpful that I wanted other people to be aware of it and make use of it too if they find it helpful.


    AnotherJoe suggested I updated in a few months. Well it's been about 6 since I last posted here.
    I did have counselling over the summer and think it really helped me. I still get upset about it and struggle with my emotions sometimes, but I'm not down all the time any more, and I started to let myself think about the real future again, not just the should have been future that I think I got stuck thinking about for a while. I also think it helped me through a subsequent loss which I have found less traumatic even though it's still relatively early days and I am still finding my way after it.

    I am really identifying with the message of the awareness week about breaking the silence which seems to surround pregnancy and baby loss. Until it happened to me I had no idea how common pregnancy and baby loss was. Not only that but it was only when I have told people that people have opened up about their losses too and there are so many.

    Not everyone around me knows about my miscarriages but one thing I really struggled with was when people who did stopped asking how I was, when it was still the thing I thought about most of the day most days. Partly my fault as I didn't like to bring it up myself either. I also really do understand that people don't know what to say, but perhaps if it was talked about more people would, or at least wouldn't be so scared to ask how you are.

    I hope anyone reading is doing ok, my thoughts are with each of you.
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