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  • SomeBozo
    • #2
    • 26th Nov 08, 8:43 AM
    • #2
    • 26th Nov 08, 8:43 AM
    I have been checking and found that unless he actually lives with me,has bills sent here then it does not matter how many nights he stays. So which is right??
    No thats wrong.

    There is no "set amount" of nights your partner can sleep, each set of circumstances will be judged on their own merits.

    Its not about bills etc being sent, its seeing if there is a financial link between you.

    For example is he employed? Or on benefits too? If he is on benefits and stays at yours then it could be argued he needs less support at home (as you are sharing a roof/heating etc). See my point?

    Bozo
  • liney
    • #3
    • 26th Nov 08, 8:51 AM
    • #3
    • 26th Nov 08, 8:51 AM
    It's to do with you living as a couple. If he's with you for a 'reasonable' amount of time per week the DWP will expect him to contribute towards food etc at your house, and for you to declare the money. Otherwise, he could effectively live with you for free, have his bills sent to mom, keep his wages, and have you pay the bills with your benefit money, which is a little unreasonable.

    What is reasonable is hard to say, as the DWP investigate patterns of staying over, as well as length of time, and financial links ie grocery shop etc. I think the 3 days thing became a standard answer because it is not most of the week, but isn't actually a definate safe number.
    "On behalf of teachers, I'd like to dedicate this award to Michael Gove and I mean dedicate in the Anglo Saxon sense which means insert roughly into the anus of." My hero, Mr Steer.
  • claire96
    • #4
    • 26th Nov 08, 8:54 AM
    • #4
    • 26th Nov 08, 8:54 AM
    Hiya,
    My brothers gfriend had a council house and he was aloud to stay there 4 nights a week before she had to pay the ful council tax.
    If you go on your councils and inland revenue it should tell you there x
  • LittleTinker
    • #5
    • 26th Nov 08, 9:15 AM
    • #5
    • 26th Nov 08, 9:15 AM
    Dont listen to these folk who say "You can have them over 2, 3 or 4 nights a week"......they are wrong.

    There is no set time.

    They look at your financial situation and whether he is contributing or whether you are providing for him ie a roof, hot water, warmth. that kind of thing.

    For example.....if you were dating a millionaire who never stayed a night at your house you still might have benefits stopped if the DWP determin that you are gettting some help from him.
  • Bernie Flint
    • #6
    • 26th Nov 08, 1:54 PM
    • #6
    • 26th Nov 08, 1:54 PM
    I wish I could afford a Sunday Roast. But unfortunately, I work which means I can't afford it.
  • MrsE
    • #7
    • 26th Nov 08, 2:01 PM
    • #7
    • 26th Nov 08, 2:01 PM
    thanks for all who have replied to this. He does work yes, but does NOT pay anything to me whatsoever-- he does not eat at mine apart from maybe an occasional sunday roast.
    he usually comes over after having had tea at home about 8:30pm and leaves at 6:30am for work only 3 times a week max.
    Originally posted by cher1977
    If hes staying that frequently he should WANT to contribute, hes there half the week. If he stays anymore, he will be there most of the week.

    IF he doesn't want to contribute, then I be very doubtful of him as a man. Because he (without meaning to be rude) sounds like a freeloader
    Last edited by MrsE; 26-11-2008 at 2:07 PM.
  • dmg24
    • #8
    • 26th Nov 08, 2:05 PM
    • #8
    • 26th Nov 08, 2:05 PM
    I wish I could afford a Sunday Roast. But unfortunately, I work which means I can't afford it.
    Originally posted by Bernie Flint
    If you are unable to afford a Sunday roast, I would suggest that you post on the Moneysaving Old Style board, rather than trying to disrupt another thread.
  • Idiophreak
    • #9
    • 26th Nov 08, 2:19 PM
    • #9
    • 26th Nov 08, 2:19 PM
    If hes staying that frequently he should WANT to contribute, hes there half the week. If he stays anymore, he will be there most of the week.

    IF he doesn't want to contribute, then I be very doubtful of him as a man. Because he (without meaning to be rude) sounds like a freeloader
    Originally posted by MrsE
    Jeepers creepers.

    He's been going out with her for 8 months, is crashing round her place a couple of times a week, isn't costing her anything...and she's supposed to ask him for money? How does that conversation go?

    "can you give me some money please"
    "what for?"
    "the heating"
    "Eh?"
    "while you're round here, you're making use of the heating."
    "but it would be on anyway"
    "yes, I know, but I think you should pay for some, anyway"
    "err...but *you* don't actually pay for the heating, anyway?"
    "yes, I know, but I think you should pay for some, anyway"
    "err...no...bye"

    A "real man" will offer to contribute for things he's cost someone.
    A *mug* will spontaneously offer to pay for stuff for the hell of it.
  • SomeBozo
    Jeepers creepers.

    He's been going out with her for 8 months, is crashing round her place a couple of times a week, isn't costing her anything...and she's supposed to ask him for money? How does that conversation go?

    "can you give me some money please"
    "what for?"
    "the heating"
    "Eh?"
    "while you're round here, you're making use of the heating."
    "but it would be on anyway"
    "yes, I know, but I think you should pay for some, anyway"
    "err...but *you* don't actually pay for the heating, anyway?"
    "yes, I know, but I think you should pay for some, anyway"
    "err...no...bye"

    A "real man" will offer to contribute for things he's cost someone.
    A *mug* will spontaneously offer to pay for stuff for the hell of it.
    Originally posted by Idiophreak
    Hogwash

    With a real gentleman it would be like this....

    "That Sunday Roast was nice, next time let me take you out and treat you, save the cooking and washing"
    "No, I cant that means you paying and linked financially"
    "Ok, let me at least buy the roast of meat"
    "No, sorry"
    "Ok, let me bring the wine"
    "You can't"
    "Can I wash up?"
    "Yes - but Ive not got any washing up liquid"
    "I'll pick some up - no wait, thats not allowed"
    "Look, since I am around here 3 nights a week, your cooking my food etc, let me give you some money, or at least let me pick up your shopping bill"
    "No thanks I dont want or need anything"
    "But this is a relationship, your on benefits, let me help you out"
    "No, I want no help,"

    LOL

    Bozo
  • ukdickie31
    why don't you just declare that you occasionally have a BF round to stay to the DWP.

    Let them decide.
  • dmg24
    why don't you just declare that you occasionally have a BF round to stay to the DWP.

    Let them decide.
    Originally posted by ukdickie31
    In my experience it is those that are honest and upfront that end up getting into trouble (but that's a rant I'll save for a more suitable thread!).
  • terryw
    Oh dear, there is a bit of sniping against the the poor OP who has come here for a bit of genuine MSE advice. She has not asked for moral judgements.

    So far as I can see, she is doing nothing wrong within the rules regarding claiming benefits.

    Perhaps those who dislike the situation could take it up with the government who make these rules, rather than the citizen who keeps to the rules.

    terryw
  • Idiophreak
    Oh dear, there is a bit of sniping against the the poor OP who has come here for a bit of genuine MSE advice. She has not asked for moral judgements.
    Originally posted by terryw
    Who's sniping against the OP? :confused:
  • nissan25
    Its clear no-one hear really knows the answer to your circumstances.

    It is up to you to declare this arrangement to DWP and a Decision Maker will look at the evidence and circumstances and decide if you are living as a couple / family unit. This may involve a home visit and or interview at the DWP office with you both.

    There is no specific number of nights rule etc it is whether he is contributing financially, or expected to your household and support you as his partner.

    I would advise you to declare this change of circumstance before someone else does which could lead to this being misconstrued as fraud. DWP are actively pursuing and increasing these type of undeclared changes of circumstances. TV ads will be appearing soon about this.
  • nissan25
    cher1977 you asked a question and in no way was I judging you.

    I was merely providing advice and since this arrangement has been ongoing for 8 months I was advising you to declare it because if someone else does before you this would not be misconstrued as fraud. I work in the DWP and therefore come across cases similar to yours everyday.

    If you are on Income Support why have you not been receiving Mortgage Interest assistance?

    I can only imagine it must be very hard for people in your circumstances but do not be put off asking for advice again. It's life (and human nature) - some people have positive advice others negative.
  • Idiophreak
    its bloody hard let me tell you, and can get no help whatsoever with the motgage, but yet people on income support get there rent paid! how is that fair????
    Originally posted by cher1977
    Not having a go, but you may wanna be a little careful saying stuff like that, just causes arguments...Personally, I find going out to work 40odd hours per week quite hard - and certainly couldn't afford to own my own home at the moment...so I guess everyone has their problems. Not really a case of "fair" etc.
  • nissan25
    Unfortunately IB is not an Income Based benefit and therefore no Mortgage Interest assistance is provided for. If your ex-husband is on the mortgage as joint owner he is equally responsible for the payments. Have you consulted a solicitor on this matter?

    As you have two children and are a lone parent it may be better financially for you to claim IS where you will receive Mortgage interest assistance. This is 60.50 p/w but as you are on DLA you can claim your own carers allowance and receive an additional premium on top of your IS approx 28.00.

    I agree that the system is unfair but its parliament who set the laws and legislation.

    I would suggest you contact Citizens Advice to get a better off calculation. They will contact DWP with your circumstances and they will report back what benefits you can claim and what benefit you would be better off claimng.
    • alwaysonthego
    • By alwaysonthego 26th Nov 08, 7:10 PM
    • 7,917 Posts
    • 10,748 Thanks
    alwaysonthego
    I would suggest you contact Citizens Advice to get a better off calculation. They will contact DWP with your circumstances and they will report back what benefits you can claim and what benefit you would be better off claimng.
    Originally posted by nissan25
    Just to clear this up we do not contact the DWP to do a benefits check, we have our own 'Quick Benefits Check' on our computers that we use. It is very similar to www.entitledto.co.uk . We are also very experienced in the benefits system so we have our own advisernet that we look up for any relevant information. We would never pass on client's details without their knowledge due to confidentiality clauses and data protection.

    To the op, as others have said there is not set criteria that says what nights one is allowed to stay. It much depends on things like do you have finacial links, same doctors, electrol roll, do you holiday together, joint assets, where the mail is sent. It is very complex so you need to be very careful and they look at each claimant's personal circumstances, so what goes for one person won't necessarily apply to another.
  • terryw
    Its clear no-one hear really knows the answer to your circumstances.

    It is up to you to declare this arrangement to DWP and a Decision Maker will look at the evidence and circumstances and decide if you are living as a couple / family unit. This may involve a home visit and or interview at the DWP office with you both.

    There is no specific number of nights rule etc it is whether he is contributing financially, or expected to your household and support you as his partner.

    I would advise you to declare this change of circumstance before someone else does which could lead to this being misconstrued as fraud. DWP are actively pursuing and increasing these type of undeclared changes of circumstances. TV ads will be appearing soon about this.
    Originally posted by nissan25
    Sorry but I have to disagree.

    The OP is doing nothing wrong within the rules for benefit claimants.

    If she is doing nothing that is against the rules then there is no reason for her to "declare" anything. If a boyfriend decides to stay the night or two nights or three nights or four nights then so what? This is not against the rules. He pays no money for this. Within the rules this is quite acceptable.

    Pray, tell us please, at what point should things be "declared"?

    I can only reiterate.........the fault lies with government not with claimants.

    terryw
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