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  • FIRST POST
    • Verbatim
    • By Verbatim 12th Aug 08, 9:19 AM
    • 4,366Posts
    • 12,179Thanks
    Verbatim
    ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread
    • #1
    • 12th Aug 08, 9:19 AM
    ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread 12th Aug 08 at 9:19 AM
    There seem to be a good few posts recently from people who are in debt due to gambling and I wondered if anyone else thinks a support thread or a sub-board like the bankruptcy sub-board or giving up alcohol thread would be a good idea?
    CCs @0% £24k Dec 05 £19,621.41 Au £13400 S 12600 Oct £11,981 £9481 £7500 Nov £7250 D £7100 Jan 6950 F £5800 Mar£5400 May £4830 June £4660 July £4460 Aug £3200, S £900, £0 18/9/07 DFW Nerd 042
Page 84
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 1st Dec 15, 9:49 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    i think if these people love you they will forgive and support you regardless. If they don't, then why would you want them in your life?
    You will forever be living a lie and eventually it will eat away at you and risk you gambling again.
    i've seen it happen time and time again and am yet to meet anyone who its worked for without being honest.
    You already destroyed the trust when you did it again regardless of whether you tell them or not. They are now trusting you which is a dangerous place for you as its easier for you to continue.

    i wish you well on your recovery and will look forward to you proving me wrong x
    the amoutn youve gambled isnt relevant. if it was more than you can afford it doesnt matter if its £20 or £200,000.

    i got the same feeling losing £20 a spin to i did at £1000 a spin. and vice versa, i won over 40k on one game, same thrill as winning £10... was only more fuel to feed my addiction. I had loads of money in the bank before i started gambling. Enough that i now wouldn't have a mortgage and over 4 x what you've spent. but it soon went over a year and then i started on loans and credit cards.

    I hope this is day 9 in your recovery
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 15th Dec 15, 2:03 PM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    How's everyone doing on the run up to Christmas? Always extra pressure at this time of year. Dont be tempted to try and win money for gifts... our friends and loved ones would not want us in debt just to buy them a gift. x

    keep strong. Just for today i will not gamble!
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • MrCrimeFiction
    • By MrCrimeFiction 29th Dec 15, 7:48 PM
    • 390 Posts
    • 1,739 Thanks
    MrCrimeFiction
    Day 13 - Good luck to everyone over xmas. Keep it going and think of the benefit it has to stay gambling free.
    Some serious debt repayments are being made every month
    Last date when I gambled - Thursday 16th Dec 2015
    Debt Free Date Feb 2018 - 26 months to go!
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 7th Jan 16, 11:49 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    What day are you on now?
    Happy new year everyone x
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 10th Jul 16, 12:15 PM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    Hows everyone doing??
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • 611
    • By 611 4th Aug 16, 8:18 AM
    • 168 Posts
    • 84 Thanks
    611
    I'm on Day 81. One of the best things I have done is to put my spare money into a 30 day notice savings account. It's scary how soon you start to forget how bad things were and begin to get tempted again.

    I hope everyone else is doing okay.
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 11th Aug 16, 11:38 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    it is very easy to forget how bad it was and start to wonder if you'd be able to "control" it now.... try not to test or tempt yourself.
    You're doing great! make sure you have blocks on computers in case you're tempted too. k9 is free. just get someone else to put in password or jam the keys with your eyes shut.

    i dont know anyone who's life got worse by stopping gambling but i know lots who's life got a lot worse by continuing.

    All good here. I'm starting divorce proceedings which is tough but my clear gamble free head can deal with it as a grown up

    How's everyone else?
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • alfred64
    • By alfred64 15th Oct 16, 7:35 PM
    • 3,503 Posts
    • 3,350 Thanks
    alfred64
    May be useful:


    http://www.gamblingcommission.gov.uk/Press/2016/Gambling-Commission-starts-two-way-conversation-with-consumers.aspx?utm_source=eBulletin&utm_medium=ema il&utm_campaign=October&utm_content=3.10.16-2-way-conversation
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 17th Oct 16, 11:08 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    im not sure how they can win really. its a business. the fact some people gain a problem is something i'm not sure they can address without stopping it altogether :/
    even if they put limits in you can walk to other betting shops, race courses, join different online sites....
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 7th Nov 16, 5:48 PM
    • 70 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    I started a new thread after searching for gambling and not finding anything, I should I have tried gambler and I would have found this one :-)

    I've gambled for most of my childhood and adult life. It used to be manageable....until I was about 7! I used to steal my mum's and sisters money to be able to gamble on the seaside fruit machines. Once I started work I used to blow most of my part time wages on the fruit machines, many times blowing the whole weeks wages on the day I got paid. As soon as I was 18 I lived life in debt, moving money around, gambling, having periods of abstinence, pay some of the debt off, then bang, back on it and normally worse than last time.

    When I was around 24 I was left some money, from the very guy that had sexually abused me as a teenager, this spiralled my gambling addiction to unreconcilable levels. In about 6 months I had become a VIP member of an online casino and had wagered bets totalling $1.5M!! Obviously I didn't have this much to start with but it was an accumulation of constant winning and losing. Losing more than winning I must add. Even though at one time, I had enough to buy a house in cash, I ended up £86K in debt to loans and credit cards.

    I went crawling to Bank of Mum and Dad, and they helped me clear most of the debt, and I started going to GA. I didn't stay there for long, because I refused to accept at the time that I was the same as the other guys in the room. I was special, I can control my gambling, and having won pretty large sums in the past, I could do it again! Who was I kidding!!

    I have been pretty successful with my career and work hard, but the more I earned, the more I gambled. I'd stopped going to GA after about 6 months, as I thought I'd cracked it and wouldn't go back to reckless compulsive gambling again. That was some seriously delusional thinking, I spent the next 12 years on and off of gambling, "binge gambling", I'd pay off £30K then burn £40K in a very short timescale.

    I'm now 37, nearly 8 months in recovery and doing well. I'm in a DMP and life is slowly becoming manageable.

    I've lost a lot through gambling, and it's not just money. A house, 2 long term relationships, TIME, emotions, self-esteem, self-confidence. Compulsive gambling is a considered an emotional illness that can not be cured, but can be arrested by working a program. It's the same as any other addiction and the solution is the same. The GA program is the same program as AA, CA, NA...etc etc. Lots of people don't understand how it works, but if you work the program and put just 10% of the effort into recovery that you did gambling, then it can actually be quite easy, and trust that it works.

    Today, I don't gamble, I don't want to gamble, my life is improving, at times I considered ending my life and I'm so grateful that I didn't.

    Spending time with loved ones and creating memories are much more important than bolstering the gambling industry. My wife has been through hell due to my gambling and it's certainly restricting our life financially, but it's going to get better and every day that I do not gamble is a GREAT day!!

    I accept that I am a compulsive gambler and that I will always be a recovering compulsive gambler. Acceptance is the MOST important step and is quite rightly step 1. Every great journey, no matter how far you travel begins with the first step.

    Just for today I will not gamble...

    One day at a time :-)

    Hero
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April 2033 April 2031
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £88,181.73 Mar 2017

    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 14th Nov 16, 11:43 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    Great post Hero.
    I owe everything to GA. Ten years ago i thought my life wasn't worth living. Now i cant be any further away from that.
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • Poor_Single_lady
    • By Poor_Single_lady 14th Nov 16, 5:48 PM
    • 665 Posts
    • 2,152 Thanks
    Poor_Single_lady
    Thank you for posting Hero and cope. Both very useful and helpful. Appreciated by many.
    Debt at June 2016 £14,600
    2017 pay off loan and first credit card
    Have less debt and be happier
    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 29th Nov 16, 10:50 PM
    • 23 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    jools1985
    how is everyone doing? I joined GA 2 weeks ago - my third meeting was tonight. I feel kind of tetchy and irritable without my gambling buzz. It was destroying me though so I'm really hoping for better times ahead.
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 2nd Dec 16, 8:08 AM
    • 70 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    how is everyone doing? I joined GA 2 weeks ago - my third meeting was tonight. I feel kind of tetchy and irritable without my gambling buzz. It was destroying me though so I'm really hoping for better times ahead.
    Originally posted by jools1985
    Hey Jools,

    Things will get better, take it a day at a time, keep yourself busy, if you can, try other meetings too, there's no rules around how many meetings a week you go to. In the early days, the more meetings you go to, the easier it can be. You're on the right track, keep going to meetings, read the orange book, especially the just for today part. I often say the serenity prayer multiple times a day, especially when gambling thoughts cross my mind. It helps me a lot. Also have a look at the GA forum and there is a chat room too.

    Just for today I will not gamble.

    Hero
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April 2033 April 2031
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £88,181.73 Mar 2017

    • jools1985
    • By jools1985 3rd Dec 16, 8:26 AM
    • 23 Posts
    • 25 Thanks
    jools1985
    Thanks Hero - I really appreciate your support. I keep reading the books I was given at the first meeting as they help me stay on track. I'll try other meeting too. Seems a good idea as they could all be a bit different. I've been inspired by the way some people have turned their lives around by not gambling. I want to be like them.
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 9th Dec 16, 8:11 PM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    you can be like them if you follow the program and attend meetings x
    the orange book is a great resource. i try and live by the serenity prayer. it makes decision making so much easier.
    take a look at the 12 steps too and remember you dont need to tackle your whole life problems at once. just for today xx
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • HEROWHENZERO
    • By HEROWHENZERO 15th Dec 16, 12:05 PM
    • 70 Posts
    • 109 Thanks
    HEROWHENZERO
    9 months off a bet today and the first Christmas EVER that I have money budgeted for Christmas presents. Living within my means and not starting 2017 with additional debt. I feel blessed to be part of GA, to have an outlet where I can share anything and not be judged, to give support to others and get the support I need to stay off a bet.

    Keep working the program, keep going to meetings, it works... if you want it to.

    One day at a time.

    Hero
    Just for today I will not try to solve all my life problems at once. | DFD: April 2033 April 2031
    Original Debt: £96K Mar 2016 | Current Debt:
    £88,181.73 Mar 2017

    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 16th Dec 16, 9:36 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    Great work!
    I am looking forward to seeing my son on Christmas morning when he realises Father Christmas has brought him everything he wanted and more.
    i have his birthday first on the 21st.... he will be four. so this time of year is crazy for me a brilliant crazy

    if i gambled there would be no excitement, no gifts, no birthday party. just a sense of incredible guilt and shame. no thanks
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • cantcope
    • By cantcope 3rd Jan 17, 11:18 AM
    • 1,609 Posts
    • 1,211 Thanks
    cantcope
    Happy New Year everyone. I hope you all had a great gamble free Christmas. If you didnt, now is the time to make the change and stop x
    my eyes are like mirrors. They reflect whats going on around me rather than whats inside
    Original debt May 06 £16569,25th Feb 08 DEBT FREE

    Last bet : 26th October 2006
    • Allouttahope
    • By Allouttahope 5th Jan 17, 4:19 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    Allouttahope
    Reading this topic has really hit home. I've hit rock bottom with my gambling, become obessed by it and have taken out various loans to "try and win it all back" It's the first thing I think of in a morning and the last thing I think of at night. I'm 27 years old and still live at home, I know deep down my parents would be devasted but ultimately they would hopefully support me. I've had to take out payday loans this month just to get me through Xmas and ended up as predicted sticking them into my online betting accounts instead. I really don't think I can take anymore and have even had thoughts of the ultimate end, my main problem is im just utterly terrified to tell anyone how bad it has got and can't see a way out. Seen people mention dept repayment plans but surely pay day loan companies won't accept these??
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