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  • FIRST POST
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 8th Mar 13, 8:30 AM
    • 4,447Posts
    • 24,829Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Looking for the silver lining
    • #1
    • 8th Mar 13, 8:30 AM
    Looking for the silver lining 8th Mar 13 at 8:30 AM
    Well I'm back! After clearing my debt in 2010 and staying debt free for a couple of years I'm now back to square one. Mainly due to OH's work being so erratic (he is a sub contractor in the building trade). He has weeks at a time with no work and when he does get work the pays not great - but anything is better than nothing. My wages cover the bills and food thankfully but nothing else.

    Anyway a combination of OH not bringing much in and not budgeting properly has led to me building up credit card debt again (thankfully at 0%) of £5368.95

    I have realised that the only way to stay on top of things is to stick to a budget. What we were doing before is spending the money before we had it on a credit card and then clearing it at the end of the month. But OH can be at work one day and laid off the next so we didn't always have the money to cover what we'd spent and this is where we have been going wrong and how the debt has built up again by me having to transfer it to a 0% card.

    What's happening now is I'm trying to stay on top of things by having a "pot" of money in my monthly budget and sticking to that. Once I have cracked this then it should be easy to stay out of debt when it's paid off.

    At the end of the month whatever OH has earned is split as follows:

    50% is for petrol, OH's work expenses/mobile phone, and anything else we need that month

    25% is for holidays (I know we shouldn't be having holidays whilst in debt but they keep us smiling through the uncertainty)

    25% is for paying off the debt and when this is paid off this will become savings.

    So far I've stuck to this for two months. It's hard at times but this is the only way to do it. Should OH not bring anything in one month then I'm afraid we'll have to dip into what little savings we have in our emergency fund. BUT NO MORE ADDING TO THE DEBT!!!

    Currently the debt is split between two cards:

    Barclaycard £1800 0% until September 2013 -so this must be paid off first

    Halifax £3568.95 0% until 2015 - so a bit more breathing space on this one but still want it paid off asap.

    I'm doing the grocery challenge and the virtual sealed pot and doing well with this. The VSP will pay for Christmas.

    Decided to do a new diary as it helped so much last time - so here I go again on my second debt-free journey. Determined this will be the last time.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    October NSD 6/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
Page 3
    • amber03
    • By amber03 5th Apr 13, 4:53 PM
    • 785 Posts
    • 4,583 Thanks
    amber03
    Hope the results wont be long in coming and OH is on the road to recovery. If you are eligable for any benefits then go for it.

    Keep us informed and good luck.xx
    Debtfree and and staying that way.
    £1000 Emergency fund No.112 £106.25


    WOMBLER 2017 NO. 5 £7.20
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 5th Apr 13, 8:42 PM
    • 4,447 Posts
    • 24,829 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    OH has had brain scan and they have found abnormalities. He is to have body scan then biopsy. Knew this wasn't just depression. Am trying to stay positive. He is so fed up. Drs say what they've found would explain the way he has been just lately.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    October NSD 6/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • christopher_robin
    • By christopher_robin 5th Apr 13, 10:45 PM
    • 23 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    christopher_robin
    So sorry to hear your news. Keeping fingers crossed for a positive outcome.

    Take care x
    • Hiddenidenity
    • By Hiddenidenity 6th Apr 13, 11:31 AM
    • 5,069 Posts
    • 23,290 Thanks
    Hiddenidenity
    So sorry its not all okay

    ((Hugs)) Take care x
    • amber03
    • By amber03 6th Apr 13, 4:26 PM
    • 785 Posts
    • 4,583 Thanks
    amber03
    Sorry to hear yor news, hope you have an answer to his condition soon,is he still in hospital.

    Hugs to you all.xx
    Debtfree and and staying that way.
    £1000 Emergency fund No.112 £106.25


    WOMBLER 2017 NO. 5 £7.20
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 6th Apr 13, 4:37 PM
    • 14,857 Posts
    • 47,811 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Hello Sun xxxx

    Well, at least the docs are taking it all seriously now.

    We are all here routing for you. Fingers crossed for no more bad news. and then some good news.


    xxx
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 6th Apr 13, 4:59 PM
    • 5,496 Posts
    • 17,051 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Awww SA so sorry you are going through this but glad they think they know what it is. Have they given any indication as to what it might be? xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £6936.45 - 04/09/17 - 70.99% paid off
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 6th Apr 13, 8:43 PM
    • 4,447 Posts
    • 24,829 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Thank you - you are all so lovely

    OH has had full body scan today - results have come back with small clots on the lung which are now being dispersed with warfarin. They are still looking into brain thing. He is still very sleepy and fed up but eating and drinking well.


    Feel a little more settled now but still very apprehensive. Every day seems to bring a different element. Have managed to eat a half decent meal tonight for the first time since all this began. Have lost 5lbs - I know I wanted to lose a bit but not this way.


    DD has been told by GP that the medication she takes for epilepsy could damage baby and it there is chance of disabilities. She is considering termination. Told her to do whatever she feels is best. Ideally if she wants baby it needs to be planned around reduction of dosage.


    Really missing OH especially at night. Dog has taken over his side of the bed and I've been keeping TV on all night. Sat here on a Saturday night all on my own and hating it. However DD is upstairs so not totally on my own. Hoping to get a better night's sleep tonight. Was fast asleep last night when OH rang at midnight to say he'd been moved to a different ward. Struggled to drop off again after that.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    October NSD 6/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • amber03
    • By amber03 6th Apr 13, 10:21 PM
    • 785 Posts
    • 4,583 Thanks
    amber03
    Oh SA if i lived closer i would come and give you a hug. You really have had it thrown at you lately. Sorry to hear about DD whatever she decides it will be the best for her. Dogs are lovely to keep you company at night have plenty of snuggles off yours.x
    Debtfree and and staying that way.
    £1000 Emergency fund No.112 £106.25


    WOMBLER 2017 NO. 5 £7.20
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 6th Apr 13, 11:21 PM
    • 14,857 Posts
    • 47,811 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    Hi SA,

    I would imagine you have gone up to bed, with the dog. hope you are watching the Fantastic Four as a distraction and not lying in the dark thinking.

    Things are pretty rough then eh. I can't really say anything to be honest, glad you have the dog. I am here, thinking about you and hoping you, OH and your daughter are hanging on and praying for good news.

    Love Buffy xxx
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 7th Apr 13, 8:19 PM
    • 4,447 Posts
    • 24,829 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Hi all

    He is no better today still sleeping a lot. He was awake when I first got to the hospital but after about a hour he was back asleep. I asked nurse when he would start to feel better and he said it would be a few days yet. They are pumping him with vitamins as well as medication. Doctors will be seeing him tomorrow so we should know more then.


    I had a lot better night's sleep last night. Didn't watch film Buffy watched Come Fly With Me on GOLD and I couldn't help but laugh a bit as it's so funny.


    I've had a busy day today - took dog on park, caught bus to Mr T's for a few things we've run out of, did a bit of gardening (me gardening is a joke I never garden), did some ironing, went to hospital, came back and took dog out again and now I'm cooking soup for work lunches this week. All being well I'm going back to work tomorrow. Might as well while he's in hospital and I feel I need some normality. I may need some time off when he comes home. Fed up of catching buses - I don't drive and I'm stuck. Two buses to hospital and two back. Taxi fare is £15 each way and can't afford that every day!


    Have a weird depressed feeling and I hate it.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    October NSD 6/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • amber03
    • By amber03 7th Apr 13, 10:05 PM
    • 785 Posts
    • 4,583 Thanks
    amber03
    Just remember he is in the best place at the moment. Better to keep things as normal as possible cos unfortunately you dont know how long this is going to take (sorry).

    My mum could'nt drive, tried but failed miserably, so when my dad ended up in hospital when i was young we had to rely on lifts and the bus. So when i was old enough to drive my parents paid for my lessons, so if my mum was stuck again then i would be able to take her.

    Hope you have an answer soon, then they can help OH.x
    Debtfree and and staying that way.
    £1000 Emergency fund No.112 £106.25


    WOMBLER 2017 NO. 5 £7.20
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 8th Apr 13, 2:49 PM
    • 5,496 Posts
    • 17,051 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Afternoon SA,

    Good job they found the blood clots, im glad theyre not treating them.

    Have they mentioned anything else that they were testing for?

    Hope you feel ok back at work today xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £6936.45 - 04/09/17 - 70.99% paid off
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 8th Apr 13, 8:51 PM
    • 4,447 Posts
    • 24,829 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Don't know what to think - he is having biopsy tomorrow they think it's lymphoma and possibly in his lungs too. Could be aggressive auto immune infection. Both scenarios will involve lengthy treatment and long stay in hospital. He is very ill and needs steroids ASAP but they can't give them until after biopsy as will interfere with results. They need him to hang in there until tomorrow but will give them if urgent as he could slip into coma.

    Can't believe he has gone from healthy bloke to so sick in about 4 weeks.


    However positive side is it is all treatable they say. Went to see him tonight but he kept falling asleep. He has just phoned me to ask me where I am - he can't really remember seeing me. Phone then went dead.


    Feel like my life has taken rapid downturn in less than 2 weeks. Feel like collapsing in helpless heap but must keep strong for him. Once he starts on steroids he will start to feel better and they can start chemo or whatever.


    Thank you all for your concern.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    October NSD 6/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • Buffythedebtslayer
    • By Buffythedebtslayer 8th Apr 13, 9:52 PM
    • 14,857 Posts
    • 47,811 Thanks
    Buffythedebtslayer
    OH SA

    How frightening. It is really good that it is treatable tho. I guess in the barage of information that is good to hang on to.

    I think you are allowed a little collapse if that is possible, that is a lot of information to take in.

    Will the biopsy take long? I guess they can give him Steriods immediately after the biopsy.

    We are all here, have you told anyone in real life? as in family and friends? It would be good to have a real life person to talk it over with.

    Now I know this isn't important but have you done anything about cancelling the holiday? you may not care - not sure I would but my sensible Mse head (the tiny annoying squeaky voiced one who tells to me e bay) tells me to ask about insurance etc.

    Sending you love SA

    xxxxBuffy
    Saving all the money.............really I am !
    • amber03
    • By amber03 8th Apr 13, 11:26 PM
    • 785 Posts
    • 4,583 Thanks
    amber03
    Thats the frightening thing about this, how somebody healthy in such a small length of time can become so ill, just glad they seem to be on his case, hope as soon as they start treatment, he feels better. Just remember to take of yourself as well. At xmas my dad was ill in hospital and by time he came out, i felt so exhausted and then had to keep on looking after him when he came out. Now he is better i can relax.

    Perhaps you can defer your hols for abit. No doubt you will be in need of one by time this is all over.x
    Debtfree and and staying that way.
    £1000 Emergency fund No.112 £106.25


    WOMBLER 2017 NO. 5 £7.20
    • Sun Addict
    • By Sun Addict 9th Apr 13, 6:21 PM
    • 4,447 Posts
    • 24,829 Thanks
    Sun Addict
    Hospital rang me at work today. They did biopsy but unfortunately tumour reacted badly and has bled. He is in intensive care being kept asleep and ventilated. So yes it is brain tumour. They have started steroids and will decide on treatment once they have had a look at biopsy. I haven't been to hospital today I can't face it. They said they would ring me if there is any change. Came home and took dog out for a walk. Waiting for DD to come home. I feel so shocked and sick. I can't believe this is happening. Praying for him to recover.

    Buffy I will cancel holiday tomorrow. Can't face it today. There are people to talk to but I still feel so alone. I would give anything to have him back to normal.
    Virtual Sealed Pot £671.22
    October NSD 6/15
    Weight loss 0/7lbs
    Mr SA finally in remission December 2013
    • mummytogirls
    • By mummytogirls 9th Apr 13, 6:31 PM
    • 5,496 Posts
    • 17,051 Thanks
    mummytogirls
    Awwww SA so sorry to be reading this . Hope they look at the biopsy soon and start treatment asap.
    (hugs) xx
    Mummytogirls x

    £23164.32 - 12/12/10
    £6936.45 - 04/09/17 - 70.99% paid off
    • christopher_robin
    • By christopher_robin 9th Apr 13, 7:18 PM
    • 23 Posts
    • 66 Thanks
    christopher_robin
    I'm so sorry to hear your news.

    Please look after yourself.
  • Amy2510
    De-lurking to say I am so sorry to hear your news, My thoughts are with you all, and I hope for a speedy recovery. Remember too that it is ok to not be ok, lean on someone when you need to.
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