Real-life MMD: Should I pay fixed contribution for teacher's gift?

Former_MSE_Debs · 29 July 2013 at 1:11PM

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay fixed contribution for teacher's gift?

My son's school collects money at the end of each year to buy a gift for the teacher and teaching assistant. I've nothing against either of them, but I think it's outrageous the school asks for £25 from each pupil. It's not a small sum and I told my son I won't be paying it on principle, but he got very upset and said he'd save up his pocket money instead because he doesn't want to be the odd one out. I wrote to the teacher to suggest a charity donation instead - she said she'd prefer John Lewis vouchers! Should I pay it for my son's sake, or make a stand?

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janiebquick · 30 July 2013 at 5:03PM

It sounds a nice idea for the school to ask for contributions towards a present for the teaching staff, but I do wonder what planet whoever thought a contribution of £25 was acceptable lives on. I would have thought that a maximum contribution of a fiver was more than enough! Multiplied by 30, a total of around £150 split between two people is enough to buy something fairly substantial.

I suggest you make a complaint to the governors about this as I doubt you are the only parent who feels this way.

If it were me, I would not pay it on principle, no matter how good the staff have been.

gayleygoo · 30 July 2013 at 5:24PM

That is ridiculous, yes! A couple of years ago a local radio station was talking about the same thing, only it was £10 per pupil the school was asking for and that was considered too much by many parents' standards! £25 is more than I'd spend on any present (outside of my immediate family anyway), and multiplied by 30 children that's £750, which is quite a lot! If I were the teacher I'm not sure I'd be happy about that either - all that money coming from the children's families when they probably have better things to do with it than John Lewis vouchers :eek:
Talk to your son and explain that it is an unreasonable request from the school, and he should have nothing to feel left out about. If another child demanded he handed his money over it would be bullying, the school staff should not stoop to that level! I wouldn't give more than £5, or a small gift to each teacher, and would complain to the school board about how your son has been made to feel about it -the school is there for his benefit, not the teachers summer shopping.

luxor4t · 30 July 2013 at 7:27PM

Which school is that - Eton?

When my kids were in primary pupils were asked if they would like to contribute a small amount (20P?) to a long-serving teacher's leaving gift, but that was after 30+ years in the same school.

In all my years of teaching I have never heard of such an annual scheme. It's totally over the top.

double_mummy · 30 July 2013 at 7:27PM

teachers are paid to do their jobs its not like they are voluntary or something

£25 is MAD £25 multiplies very quickly with multiple children

i dont think that there should be any kind of collection teachers gifts used to be thanking someone who made that special effort for your child that year and should not just be the done thing

you dont pay your GP money at the end of the year or any other people who give you and your children regular service

most workers in the private sector are not allowed to accept gifts - my college tutors were not allowed to accept anything valued over £5 unless it was for the department then the limit was raised to £20

I would ask the governors if they have a policy on gifts and if they dont why not?

i think if the class wanted to get as present then each contribute and get a donation to a school (many schools do link ups with schools in africa etc)

its nice to know you are being expected to add to the teachers salary i would actually laugh at the teacher when she said no to the charity donation

you dont say how old your son is but if he is year 4+ i would take him out and show him £25 worth of food shopping and ask him which he would prefer having this amount of food or having nothing and i would not let him have his pocket money if he was just going to give it away (if he wanted to buy a card or a small £1-£2 gift i would let him)

Lagoon · 30 July 2013 at 7:36PM

That's absolutely disgusting. I'm shocked that there's an 'expected contribution' at all, let alone a £25 one.

Teachers are paid to do what they do. It's terrible not just that this is happening but that the children are aware of it.

I would absolutely refuse to pay. It would take A LOT of explaining to that poor child, but he shouldn't be stuck in the middle at all. The teacher saying that she'd 'prefer John Lewis vouchers', too? Wow...

delv_2 · 30 July 2013 at 7:50PM

As a teacher, I have to say I find that ridiculous. I don't EXPECT any gifts/money at the end of term. A card or a verbal thank you is more than enough. A lot of parents realise that we often do things we aren't actually payed to do. E.g, driving children to and from sports matches, supervising after school clubs e.t.c and a thank you is appreciated. But to expect to be given money by every child in the class is laughable. I feel very sorry for the child in question.

Bargaineer · 30 July 2013 at 8:16PM

Surely the taxman should be aware of this additional income?

3400581 · 30 July 2013 at 8:18PM

Tell them where to get off. Teaching is a vocation and devoting your time ti developing and nurturing our young should be reward enough. I would also mention that you will be notifying the Inland Revenue as it is declarable income especially as it is not optional. The school may have a change of heart. Also do the school governors know/approve?

elsien · 30 July 2013 at 8:20PM

Bargaineer wrote: »

Surely the taxman should be aware of this additional income?

Vouchers aren't taxable.

quinechinoise · 30 July 2013 at 8:31PM

Contribute a smaller sum? The child obviously wants to give something, however, I don't see why it must be the sum suggested. If any parents complain, tell them you can't afford more. OTOH... if you can afford more, then it becomes harder to make a stand (assuming you were happy with the standard of teaching that year).

It's not hugely different to tipping your hairdresser or giving your postie a Christmas box.

Real-life MMD: Should I pay fixed contribution for teacher's gift?

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