Partner Rent Disagreement

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  • hazyjo
    hazyjo Posts: 15,468
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    He would be happy to pay towards a landlord's mortgage but he wants to live for free with the person he is in a relationship with?

    Very odd logic. :(

    The suggestion is that he saves for a future deposit or holidays. If anything, he is thinking of her best interests, not his. Do you understand that if he pays towards the mortgage/repairs/improvements then he may be entitled to a percentage of the entire property?

    I would take half bills, but not towards mortgage, etc.

    Jx
    2023 wins: *must start comping again!*
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,367
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    The fairest of all is to work out the cost of the interest which is the rent and the capital which is the investment. You pay the capital in full you share the interest. His half of the interest he puts towards something joint his equivalent of the capital repayment he invests how he wishes.
  • Redacted
    Redacted Posts: 99 Forumite
    When my partner moved in with me, we did as your BF proposed - he moved in with me after we'd been together a year. When we'd been together longer, we bought a place together. It seemed both like the fairest way to organise things and the cleanest way, should we have broken up before reaching a stage in our relationship where we were comfortable purchasing together.
  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698
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    There is middle ground .... get him to pay rent into a bank account of his own name .... EVERY month without fail. AND to pay for half what he uses/bills/whatever as he would prefer it directly to you for the privilege of getting his feet under the table.

    If in the future you stay together you can then put his "rent money" towards moving to a different house, or doing some improvements.

    If you split up, you won't feel he "took you for a ride as it was easy for him to blow all his money while you were paying for the roof over your heads" and he's got the nest egg he needs to move out and on.

    That money in the account MUST be added to each month - and CANNOT be touched until you decide to either stay together and pool resources, or split up and he leaves.

    The regular money shows his commitment to the relationship, while you don't feel he's having a free ride and blowing his cash on boozy nights out etc while you are struggling as you're paying the mortgage. And, if you split up, or stay together, what happens to the money eases that transition.
  • pphillips
    pphillips Posts: 1,631
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    There is middle ground .... get him to pay rent into a bank account of his own name .... EVERY month without fail. AND to pay for half what he uses/bills/whatever as he would prefer it directly to you for the privilege of getting his feet under the table.

    If in the future you stay together you can then put his "rent money" towards moving to a different house, or doing some improvements.

    If you split up, you won't feel he "took you for a ride as it was easy for him to blow all his money while you were paying for the roof over your heads" and he's got the nest egg he needs to move out and on.

    That money in the account MUST be added to each month - and CANNOT be touched until you decide to either stay together and pool resources, or split up and he leaves.

    The regular money shows his commitment to the relationship, while you don't feel he's having a free ride and blowing his cash on boozy nights out etc while you are struggling as you're paying the mortgage. And, if you split up, or stay together, what happens to the money eases that transition.

    He would have to agree to do this though and there is no way she could enforce it.
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
    How much do you each earn?
  • Thanks again all. Lots of interesting and varied opinions and comments! For info I don't need the extra money, I'm comfortable on my own financially, it's just we've been together a little while and have naturally started to discuss that it might be nice to live together.
    I think taking all the above comments into consideration I'm probably leaning towards him maybe paying half towards bills and utilities but maybe putting an extra bit of "rent" aside into a separate pot for holidays or a future deposit etc. Bit of a difficult one as of course as some have said there's no way to enforce this, and I'm not sure how I feel about using that money for holidays for example, but something to think about
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,551
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    hazyjo wrote: »
    The suggestion is that he saves for a future deposit or holidays. If anything, he is thinking of her best interests, not his. Do you understand that if he pays towards the mortgage/repairs/improvements then he may be entitled to a percentage of the entire property?

    I do indeed - but that doesn't stop him from making a contribution to the relationship as has been suggested on here - but not by him.
  • greenbee
    greenbee Posts: 16,073
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    If your BF is moving in with you, you might want to look into putting a cohabitation agreement in place:

    https://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/mar/09/cohabitation-agreement-essential-non-married-couples

    (you don't have to go through a solicitor, there are DIY options)
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,508
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    edited 17 April 2017 at 9:51PM
    Thanks again all. Bit of a difficult one as of course as some have said there's no way to enforce this, and I'm not sure how I feel about using that money for holidays for example, but something to think about

    You have an account where money goes in both of your names. If you see he is not contributing to it or you can not agree on what to spend it then that will be your litmus paper. Why not to spend it on holidays ? You would have spent your other money on holidays, you save your other money in this way. Some big household goods , further career training, cars - anything could be paid with this money provided that those were the same amounts benefitting each of you. It is nice to spend it on something that you would not been afford otherwise and what is your common project . Even food shopping could be done with this money but then there is a potential for people to argue one was buying expensive treats/alcohol consistently with it
    Btw if he ends up moving out only 50% of this money is his ,other 50 is yours. I do not see why all of it would be considered "his" as per pastures new comment. Why would only he benefit monetarily from living together but not she ?
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
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