We can't afford to live together and have children

Hi have just joined the forum because me and my girlfriend are feeling so low in our situation.

I am 35 and she is 30 and we have been together for 11 years, we are living with our parents and have been saving for a house, we earn about 34000 between us and have about 2300 a month after tax. We have found a house we both love but house prices are now so stupidly high, it's 190000 and we have a 40000 deposit. We can get a mortgage but we are worried about affording it in the future if interest rates rise, we feel we will be fine for a while but if we are paying anything above 10% we won't be able to do it and how can we put faith in it not going to that rate in the next 30 years.

We want children and feel time isn't on our side there but if we have one then any savings we have would go on childcare so how would we pay for anything such as a car when ours has given up on us. A cheaper house is an option but there is so little choice in this area and feel if we wait much longer we will be priced out even more, rental prices are just as bad and keep going up aswell and then how do we pay rent after retirement. there is not much prospect of us earning more in the future.

We just feel so trapped and that we will not only be unable to ever live together but also that means never having children. We feel so low and I've never felt worse, our relationship is so strong but I really feel scared for us and not being able to give her what she wants and deserves.

Sorry for the long post
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Comments

  • tykesi
    tykesi Posts: 2,061
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    JPB156 wrote: »
    we earn about 34000 between us and have about 2300 a month after tax.

    We can get a mortgage but we are worried about affording it in the future if interest rates rise, we feel we will be fine for a while but if we are paying anything above 10% we won't be able to do it and how can we put faith in it not going to that rate in the next 30 years

    So you don't intend to advance in your careers in the next 30 years most likely leading to increased income and ability to deal with itnerest rate rises?

    Are there no better paid jobs you could apply for to try and increase your income?
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
    We would love to but the options aren't there, I'm a team leader and management barely get more than me, she works in a bank and has been trying for years to move up and the opportunity just isn't there, as they are making cutbacks more than anything.
    We may be able to earn more but there is no guarantee so how can we just rest on that. We are trying to be sensible and maybe I'm a bit over cautious but 150000 mortgage on 34000 salary sounds too far.
  • Rosemary7391
    Rosemary7391 Posts: 2,879
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    If you could afford it at a 10% interest rate, and can get a lower one now, why not overpay at the 10% interest level? You'll pay it off much more quickly, and the reducing balance will reduce the impact of possible future rate rises. Sooner you start paying off a mortgage the sooner you'll be finished :)
  • IAmWales
    IAmWales Posts: 2,024 Forumite
    If your partner is only 30 she has many child bearing years ahead of her, it's not unusual to have children into your early 40s.

    Think more long term - there's nothing stopping you moving jobs and/ or gaining more skills. There's no urgency in buying a house right now, nor do you need to have children imminently. Set yourself a five year plan (increasing income) and then you can think about children.
  • Pa_Ja
    Pa_Ja Posts: 134 Forumite
    You have to reign in your expectations when comparing income to property.. Is ownership that important to you?
    If so, you are going to have to sacrifice on location or house size. Discuss with your partner. That's a great deposit you have, continue to build on it.
    I don't mean to sound patronizing but, life is tough. If your ambitions are to have the nice house, run a car (Maybe 2) and kids, etc... You're going to have to increase your income.

    Good luck and like I said, reign in your expectations and prepare to compromise.
  • IAmWales
    IAmWales Posts: 2,024 Forumite
    If you could afford it at a 10% interest rate, and can get a lower one now, why not overpay at the 10% interest level? You'll pay it off much more quickly, and the reducing balance will reduce the impact of possible future rate rises. Sooner you start paying off a mortgage the sooner you'll be finished :)

    They're going to need to build up some savings before overpaying if the missus is going to be taking maternity leave.
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
    We can get it fixed for 5 years and then overpay upto 10% a year, we have worked out we can afford to do that as it would be 710 a month, it's after calculating what it would be after that that makes us feel we could we afford it to go to 10% rate after the 5 years
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 6,951
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    When I was 30 I took out a 120,000 mortgage on a 30,000 salary, but as a single person so only one tax allowance and the base rate was around 7%, not 0.25%. It was a bit of a struggle, but I managed OK. It helped that my parents gave me their 17 year old Volvo 340 rather than trading it in when they wanted a newer car (they would have got about £500 for it) after my car got written off, which got me out of a hole and I used it for a couple of years.

    Are you both working full time? £17,000 each sounds very low given your ages (national average is £28,000 according to "More or less" last week).
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
    We have savings for childcare but then for nothing else.

    We feel we have to buy as if we rent forever we won't afford rent after retirement.

    We are fine with compromising we are not big spenders but there is only so far you can stretch it.

    Have looked at changing career but everything that pays more seems to want you to be experienced in something.

    If prices continue to rise and interest rates go up we won't get a mortgage on affordability so feel rushed
  • JPB156
    JPB156 Posts: 91 Forumite
    Yes both full time just both on not much above minimum wage and as I say not had opportunity to move up in our careers
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