Stepping into 2014- walking in My Shoes with Mooloo

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  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,024 Forumite
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    Or she may have withdrawn from the support offered.
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
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    Probably will have moved about so much she isn't supported now.
    I am trying to be polite, give sound advice, and be as objectional as I can.
    It's tough though.
    Tonight I collected twin 2, she's stopping in DGDs room. She is due to go home tomorrow, but I can tell she doesn't want to. DS went to the garage about TGR bike but they were not there. So they are still here. So I used GF to babysit, and took Twin2 down to see where my shop is, then on to see DS at his new job. Ended up stopping and chatting with the current management - as an ex publican old habits die hard!!
    But it meant a late night, so I better get some shut eye now!
    I will deal with DS and GF tomorrow.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • gallygirl
    gallygirl Posts: 17,228 Forumite
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    Mooloo wrote: »
    I am trying to be polite, give sound advice, and be as objectional as I can.
    Best Freudian slip I've seen in a long time :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    :) Mortgage Balance = £0 :)
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
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    Oh well! It's pretty appropriate!!! It's that darn predictor text on the iPhone!
    Twin2 is here, so the house is bursting at the seams. I made use of the GF last night and got her to babysit DGD while I took twin2 for a walk to see the shop, ( give her a pair of jeans that fit a bit better then she was wearing), then we went to DS's pub and had a drink and a chat. But we waited for DS to walk home, which seemed a good idea at the time, but I'm slightly regretting it this morning as I am tired and have a lot of work on.
    Somewhat concerned that I'm not going to hit my target of a week anymore. There are a lot of jobs on at the moment and with Mercedes Christmas do on 6th a rush of jobs!
    My only solution is that I will need to bring things home in the evenings, tell people the new lead time is 10 days, and zips etc 14 days, from now on.
    No bumping the que, even for a little 5 minute job.
    I expect it to get busier as December hits, and I cannot physically do more within the time frame then I already do.
    Taking on a part time sewer could help, but as I don't know what the new year will be like, I'm not sure I can afford it. I want to really see what trade is like in January and February really before I expand.
    I will just have to work smarter somehow.
    Perhaps I will have to book people in for fittings rather then stop what I am doing to fit things, as the sheer volume coming in is seriously interfering with my schedule.
    Food for thought anyway.
    But now it's action I need. School run etc and then twin2 needs to get to the train station if she is going today. Last night she was talking about staying a bit longer! Which is not a surprise, just a inconvenience at the moment.
    Catch up later I hope.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
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    Ok, so are you ready?
    Nope I wasn't.
    Twin 1 announced tonight that she is pregnant. So how do I tell DGD?
    I told her that her best chance of keeping it was if they got married. But seriously? She will be lucky if social services leave them alone!
    So here we go again !
    DS and Gf are still here. Parts for bike still not arrived.
    twin 2 still here. Delayed her trip till tomorrow. Tapped me up for some money for the journey home too.

    On a good note, work is still positive, busy and going quite well, dispite no bookings for tomorrow's course. So I sent out a cancelled notice.
    Had a friend come and help me today. Making Santa hats. Sold two before we had made them!
    I love my little shop it's full of random jobs, funny characters passing the time of day, and I am mostly living my dream. Tired, busy, but happy at work. Home life is another matter though.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    edited 29 November 2014 at 1:35AM
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    I was wondering when that bombshell would drop, Mooloo ....all it needs to complete the chain is for twin2 to drop the same one ....after all, didn't they both have the implant about the same time?

    Things don't get any easier for you because you do let your family - who are all adults now, remember - knock on your "guilt trip" door. You did your best for them all when they were children and teenagers, they have all gone their own ways - yet still persist in bringing disaster back to your door. Time to put them all out, lock, bar and bolt it. You have enough to worry about, bringing up DGD, and looking after your own health! But knowing you, the door will stay open.

    {{hugs}}
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
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    Twin2 was pregnant in the summer, but took some sort of tablets to terminate as she knew she was not in a position to have another one. That's when she moved out of that lady's house. Just after I had been to Cornwall to visit.
    Twin1 and BF will expect to keep this one. But sounds like they have decided instead of staying here they will move down there to his family in Kent. Which means I will have little contact as it's too far away for me on my one day off a week to visit. -and I can't imagine wanting too.
    DGD is the one who is going to find it very difficult. Her Mummy choosing to move away as well as have another baby.
    Not to mention Social Services will be on their case before baby even arrives. If they think moving will resolve that they will be sorely mistaken. But it does mean that his family will have to support not me!
    The one I expected to tell me she was pregnant would have been biggest of Mooloo because I know they want a child together while the girls are little, and DGD2 is 3 1/2 and his girl is 5. So sooner rather then later.
    Oh well.
    I cannot do anything except my best for DGD, and will make sure that she knows she is loved, listened too, and let the appropriate adults in her life watch out for any signs of upset etc.
    Time to finish my tea, have a shower and get ready for work. There are about 30 jobs on the to do list, and I want to clear at least 8 of them today.
    If I'm on track I want to upcycle a little bit of Christmas! The Elves are required to help a bit!!
    Biggest is helping today.
    Time to grab that positivity back, let last weeks emotional Termoil go, and step forward in confidence knowing 'it's not my fault, it's not my problem, it's not my responsibility!'
    Have a good day everyone. I intend to try!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • gizmo111
    gizmo111 Posts: 2,658 Forumite
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    Savvy_Sue wrote: »
    I think that here they get extra support up to age 25. Certainly if they're homeless they're a priority until 25.

    The danger is that Mooloo gets sucked into being seen as part of her support network though ... and expected to pick up the pieces, house her and baby etc etc etc.

    She can of course say no, and it wouldn't be a viable option with DGD there. They get support up to age 25 if they have LD or in FTE.
    Eager_Elephant wrote: »
    I think it seems odd that she has not been to the Local Authority for housing before now.


    My guess is that she has had her own tenancy (or one with a previous boyfriend) which has gone wrong (either ASB or arrears) and she would be intentionally homeless.


    Don't forget people can be priority need but intentional and then the LA does not have to offer them temp. accommodation.

    But with a break in between she will not be intentional now.
    Savvy_Sue wrote: »
    Or she may have withdrawn from the support offered.

    She may have withdrawn previously but the LA has a duty to support her up to at least age 21 and therefore she can ask for support at any time. She should have had a leaving care grant to set up home previously, if she hasn't had it then it would be a great start for them and the baby, they are usually around £1500.
    Mama read so much about the dangers of drinking alcohol and eating chocolate that she immediately gave up reading.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
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    This chap of twin 1's seems very family orientated. With wanting to have Dgd so perhaps hie and his family might be the support she needs. Certainly for a while she'll need to conform .....and the habit might stick so a new start in Kent might be the best thing for her.

    I'd encourage her to move sooner rather than later so they will be on the housing lists and she can attend ante natal classes down here and get to know some other mums sooner rather than later.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
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    DGD is going to be heartbroken as she will enevitably see her Mum leaving her behind and choosing a new baby over her.
    I personally don't mind her going away, but I won't be having anything to do with my grandchild this time, due to the shop and the distance.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
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