Esa hell ..desperate for feedback and advice anyone please :-)

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Comments

  • fumin37
    fumin37 Posts: 55 Forumite
    Thankyou and i am appreciative of all replies i just feel sometimes the manor in which they can be delivered can feel slightly attacking.
    There are grey areas with everything and always reasons and situations going on behimd the scenes that people really cant and shouldnt make assumptions about.
    As for my daughter ..as i said she is good as gold and does help when she can but she is a young woman who also struggles with her own illnesses and i want her to have her own life not be dragged down by me and my issues .
    Thankyou for your feedback -)
    She basically keeps my car going as i cant and we all rely on the vehicle .she does her fair share.
    And as i said we STILL struggle hugely.
    My 17 year old boy as you can imagine is also very expensive.But they are both used to not "having"
    Even when i worked we still struggled as i was unwell alot of the time .
    I can assure you its been an extremely misereable few years for all of us .
  • pipkin71
    pipkin71 Posts: 21,821 Forumite
    fumin37 wrote: »
    Thankyou and i am appreciative of all replies i just feel sometimes the manor in which they can be delivered can feel slightly attacking.

    That's possibly because the replies are written so you don't have any facial nuances to gage how replies are delivered.

    I do hope you didn't feel my replies were an attack on your situation. They were not meant in that way but I apologise if you thought they were. That was not my intention.


    How much is the car a necessity for you? You say you all rely on it, but if you didn't have it, could you manage?

    Having a car does make life easier but as it's an expense you can't afford, could you look at alternatives?
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • fumin37
    fumin37 Posts: 55 Forumite
    edited 8 October 2017 at 9:23AM
    Not at all pipkin ..and yes its very true posts can be very much mis
    read.
    But you can also get a general feel for things too.
    All angles have been covered.There isnt a day that goes by that i dont spend hours worrying and wracking my brains as to what i can do to allieviate the pressure.I would love to go back to work ideally but as my previous sick notes and time off work prove i am simply not in the right place ..and definitely not for 20 plus hours a week.
    I have periods of time where i am unable to bare weight on my feet due to different forms of arthritis .Also having a chronic pain condition and public transport being some distance away yes i do need my car very much so .I have seriously contemplated getting rid of it (its a 12 year old banger anyway and on its last legs)but its really not an option.I dont know how i would have coped without it with all the visits to CAB and various appointments ive had to attend recently.There is also the aspect of the small sense of freedom it gives me being slightly isolated.
    It has however predudiced my case before during the ESA .
    nightmare.
    There truly is nothing i can cut back on more than i do already unfortunately.
  • fumin37
    fumin37 Posts: 55 Forumite
    The only one good thing about getting the ESA Is that i will atleast have some breathing space now in terms of not being messed about and pulled off every 5 minutes.I can maybe just concentrate on getting the help and treatment i need for my illneses ..so that i can one day be in a better place to return to work ,Instead of constsntly worrying about whether or not i will be able to feed and support my son that week.
    thank heavens for small mercies eh ...
  • Cheeky_Monkey
    Cheeky_Monkey Posts: 2,072 Forumite
    fumin37 wrote: »
    Thankyou for your reply .Yes im sure kelpie .I have one dependant child who lives with me and my other one who is full time student non dependant.I recieve 57.00 child tax credits for him and 20.00 child benefit.
    housing benefit is N/A. CT is sorted .

    Is that because you own your own home?
  • pipkin71
    pipkin71 Posts: 21,821 Forumite
    fumin37 wrote: »
    Not at all pipkin ..and yes its very true posts can be very much mis
    read.
    But you can also get a general feel for things too.
    All angles have been covered.There isnt a day that goes by that i dont spend hours worrying and wracking my brains as to what i can do to allieviate the pressure.I would love to go back to work ideally but as my previous sick notes and time off work prove i am simply not in the right place ..and definitely not for 20 plus hours a week.
    I have periods of time where i am unable to bare weight on my feet due to different forms of arthritis .Also having a chronic pain condition and public transport being some distance away yes i do need my car very much so .I have seriously contemplated getting rid of it (its a 12 year old banger anyway and on its last legs)but its really not an option.I dont know how i would have coped without it with all the visits to CAB and various appointments ive had to attend recently.There is also the aspect of the small sense of freedom it gives me being slightly isolated.
    It has however predudiced my case before during the ESA .
    nightmare.
    There truly is nothing i can cut back on more than i do already unfortunately.

    Due to my own health issues and unable to walk the distance from the house to the nearest bus stop, I can understand why a car is easier. That being said, I don't drive. The limited times I leave the house, it's cheaper to use a taxi service than finance a car.

    If your car broke down tomorrow, it sounds as if you wouldn't be able to afford another one, so you would have no choice but to manage without.

    I honestly think you have to prioritise - relinquishing the car and asking your daughter for regular contributions would be a start. It is your choice though, others can only suggest things to you that they would perhaps change if in your situation :)
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • fumin37
    fumin37 Posts: 55 Forumite
    Is that because you own your own home?

    No its not cheeky monkey .
  • fumin37
    fumin37 Posts: 55 Forumite
    pipkin71 wrote: »
    Due to my own health issues and unable to walk the distance from the house to the nearest bus stop, I can understand why a car is easier. That being said, I don't drive. The limited times I leave the house, it's cheaper to use a taxi service than finance a car.

    If your car broke down tomorrow, it sounds as if you wouldn't be able to afford another one, so you would have no choice but to manage without.

    I honestly think you have to prioritise - relinquishing the car and asking your daughter for regular contributions would be a start. It is your choice though, others can only suggest things to you that they would perhaps change if in your situation :)

    Everyones circumstances are individual.
  • fumin37 wrote: »
    No its not cheeky monkey .

    Why don't you get housing benefit then?
  • fumin37
    fumin37 Posts: 55 Forumite
    I dont recall saying i didnt .
    what is the reason you asked ?
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