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  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Lucia
    • By MSE Lucia 3rd Nov 16, 4:13 PM
    • 3Posts
    • 0Thanks
    MSE Lucia
    Have you suffered from not having a will? Tell us
    • #1
    • 3rd Nov 16, 4:13 PM
    Have you suffered from not having a will? Tell us 3rd Nov 16 at 4:13 PM
    Hi everyone,

    We’d really like to hear from any Forumites who have experienced the effects that not having a will can cause. If you’re happy to share your story, please post in the thread below. If you’ve seen any relevant threads or posts elsewhere on the forum, please do share the links.

    We’re looking to do a feature highlighting that whatever your age, if you've assets eg, a house, savings, or a business, and people or others you'd like to look after it, you should consider making a will; and Will Aid month gives you a chance to do it cheaply.

    Our feature will be in line with Will Aid month, which is a UK-wide scheme that runs every November, where the charity Will Aid teams up with over 900 solicitors to provide basic wills to people of any age. There's no set fee but Will Aid hopes you'll make a donation of around £95 for a single will (£150 for a couple). This is a good price for a solicitor-drafted will but of course if you can’t afford it, you can give less.

    Huge thanks,
    MSE Lucia
    Last edited by MSE Matt; 04-11-2016 at 8:04 AM.
Page 1
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 2nd Dec 16, 4:24 PM
    • 725 Posts
    • 709 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    • #2
    • 2nd Dec 16, 4:24 PM
    • #2
    • 2nd Dec 16, 4:24 PM
    A family member died in an accident. All her assets went to her husband. However.... He didn't change his will to include her family or take into account his recent inheritence and as bad luck had it he also died quite soon after. Everything was then handed to his son, a guy who never visited them, never worked etc in fact I think he had even been in prison. My point is a will is important not just to say who should get your stuff but also who shouldn't!
    • Lavendyr
    • By Lavendyr 8th Dec 16, 10:02 PM
    • 2,003 Posts
    • 1,819 Thanks
    Lavendyr
    • #3
    • 8th Dec 16, 10:02 PM
    • #3
    • 8th Dec 16, 10:02 PM
    A friend of mine's son died of cancer. He had had it for a couple of years, it was stage 4 towards the end (had metastasised) and it was a poor mid-term prognosis but he deteriorated v quickly in a short space of time. He made no will despite knowing he had a poor prognosis. His mother, who had looked after him and cared for him for so long, is entitled to almost nothing (beyond a portion of life assurance from one of his places of employment). His wife, whom he married scant months before his death, benefits from the lot.
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 8th Dec 16, 10:04 PM
    • 57,619 Posts
    • 330,820 Thanks
    PasturesNew
    • #4
    • 8th Dec 16, 10:04 PM
    • #4
    • 8th Dec 16, 10:04 PM
    To be frank, we had two, identical - except there was an error.

    Both done at a "proper solicitors", the first to be executed had a huge error in it, rendering it useless and effectively an intestate will .... causing no end of annoyance as we then had to do something else to get it "fixed". Got the solicitor to do it all, bill of £4-5k for sorting it out and the final execution of the will.

    Also, the actual way the Will was set out to be done was a nuisance to us, which, by the time of the death was really not worth the hassle of doing.... but we were forced to do something that was pointless/long-winded and produced no end of faff for us.

    The second one was correct, but we didn't need it as it was the same in the Will as if it'd been intestate. We did it ourselves for a couple of hundred quid.

    In all honesty, we'd have done it quicker, cheaper, easier, if there'd been no wills at all.
    Last edited by PasturesNew; 08-12-2016 at 10:07 PM.
    • Gers
    • By Gers 29th Dec 16, 12:16 PM
    • 5,138 Posts
    • 28,384 Thanks
    Gers
    • #5
    • 29th Dec 16, 12:16 PM
    • #5
    • 29th Dec 16, 12:16 PM
    M brother died very suddenly, he had an old will which his solicitor couldn't find. Whilst his executor had a copy it wasn't deemed sufficient (Australia) and it took no end of bother for his wife. They were living apart but still very friendly and he had a floozie who lied and cheated and stole. Bad times.

    Then his second oldest son died this year, aged 34, no will, three very young children, a de facto wife and a pile of debt. More bad times.

    I've made an appointment to update my will. My mum has just checked that her will is still valid as it mentions my now deceased brother. Needs must.
    • exiled_red
    • By exiled_red 1st Jan 17, 7:19 PM
    • 143 Posts
    • 91 Thanks
    exiled_red
    • #6
    • 1st Jan 17, 7:19 PM
    • #6
    • 1st Jan 17, 7:19 PM
    Recently my father's cousin died and told alot of people what he had left them in his will, unfortunately to save money he had got a will kit and did it himself, the will he had written was not signed and was therefore invalid.

    As he had no children his estate was split between his cousins many of whom he hadn't seen for 40+ years and others who he didn't like. While most of his intended beneficiaries (who weren't relatives) got nothing.
    • owenwoodcock89
    • By owenwoodcock89 9th Jan 17, 4:48 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 13 Thanks
    owenwoodcock89
    • #7
    • 9th Jan 17, 4:48 PM
    I want to make a will but I have nothing
    • #7
    • 9th Jan 17, 4:48 PM
    I never had a father when growing up and I have recently had a son which has brought out a very strong paternal side in me.

    I have started thinking often about what would happen I was to die and leave my son Fatherless.
    The only problem is, I don't own anything worth while so was wondering. What is the sort of thing that goes into a will?
    The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today
    • Rain Shadow
    • By Rain Shadow 10th Jan 17, 9:19 AM
    • 1,660 Posts
    • 2,911 Thanks
    Rain Shadow
    • #8
    • 10th Jan 17, 9:19 AM
    • #8
    • 10th Jan 17, 9:19 AM
    I never had a father when growing up and I have recently had a son which has brought out a very strong paternal side in me.

    I have started thinking often about what would happen I was to die and leave my son Fatherless.
    The only problem is, I don't own anything worth while so was wondering. What is the sort of thing that goes into a will?
    Originally posted by owenwoodcock89
    It's simply an expression of where you would like your assets to go when you die so all of them are 'in' the will, either in detail or as a lump sum of what is left after specific bequests.

    Just because you have few assets now it doesn't mean you won't have them in the (near) future.

    You might win the lottery and die from the shock


    It could be your last chance to tell people what you think of them too.
    Last edited by Rain Shadow; 10-01-2017 at 9:25 AM.
    You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 10th Jan 17, 9:24 AM
    • 26,926 Posts
    • 68,733 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #9
    • 10th Jan 17, 9:24 AM
    • #9
    • 10th Jan 17, 9:24 AM
    It's simply an expression of where you would like your assets to go when you die so all of them are 'in' the will, either in detail or as a lump sum of what is left after specific bequests.

    Just because you have few assets now it doesn't mean you won't have them in the 'near' future.
    Originally posted by Rain Shadow
    And you appoint, through your will, the people who you trust enough to deal with things after you die.

    Have you considered who you want to bring up your child if both parents were killed in an accident? You can appoint guardians in your will - as long as there aren't reasons why they wouldn't be considered suitable by social services, your wishes will be complied with.
    • Rain Shadow
    • By Rain Shadow 10th Jan 17, 9:28 AM
    • 1,660 Posts
    • 2,911 Thanks
    Rain Shadow
    And you appoint, through your will, the people who you trust enough to deal with things after you die.

    Have you considered who you want to bring up your child if both parents were killed in an accident? You can appoint guardians in your will - as long as there aren't reasons why they wouldn't be considered suitable by social services, your wishes will be complied with.
    Originally posted by Mojisola

    Good points.

    I was my father's executor and am my mother's.

    My wife and children are my executors.

    We didn't make wills until our sons were adults so the 'guardian' question didn't arise.
    You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 10th Jan 17, 9:31 AM
    • 26,926 Posts
    • 68,733 Thanks
    Mojisola
    I never had a father when growing up and I have recently had a son which has brought out a very strong paternal side in me.

    I have started thinking often about what would happen I was to die and leave my son Fatherless.
    Originally posted by owenwoodcock89
    Have you considered who you want to bring up your child if both parents were killed in an accident? You can appoint guardians in your will - as long as there aren't reasons why they wouldn't be considered suitable by social services, your wishes will be complied with.
    Originally posted by Mojisola
    Rain Shadow - I should have quoted owen's post as well as yours - that paragraph was aimed at the proud new father.
    • owenwoodcock89
    • By owenwoodcock89 17th Jan 17, 2:28 PM
    • 21 Posts
    • 13 Thanks
    owenwoodcock89
    A will is definitely something everyone should consider. I was always under the impression that I would have to keep updating it the more assets I owned.
    I'm guessing this is something a solicitor should really do, it would be good if writing the document myself would be safe enough.
    The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 17th Jan 17, 4:00 PM
    • 26,926 Posts
    • 68,733 Thanks
    Mojisola
    A will is definitely something everyone should consider. I was always under the impression that I would have to keep updating it the more assets I owned.

    I'm guessing this is something a solicitor should really do, it would be good if writing the document myself would be safe enough.
    Originally posted by owenwoodcock89
    If the same people are going to inherit from you, you don't need to keep updating it. There's no need to list properties exactly or savings accounts, etc. In fact, this can cause problems. Just have general clauses that distribute whatever assets you have to whoever you want.

    A good will covers future possibilities, such as the death of your beneficiaries so that you can say what should happen to their share.

    It is important to review your will regularly but it may not need updating unless something major has changed in your life.
    • ukwmo
    • By ukwmo 31st Jan 17, 1:27 PM
    • 33 Posts
    • 41 Thanks
    ukwmo
    My wee Scottish granny had dementia and was placed into a long stay NHS hospital. We broke up her home. Gran transferred her considerable savings to my Mum (my Gran's Daughter) when the power of attorney paperwork was finally drawn up (and that's another story).

    Shortly thereafter Mum was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Mum & Dad had agreed with each other, years ago, that if either was to be diagnosed with a terrible illness that neither wanted to know just how badly ill they were.

    So Mum wasn't told there was no hope, that the cancer was too far gone. And Dad was too chicken hearted to mention about the need to make a will. He was completely focussed on looking after Mum, with me trying my best to help him, visit Gran in hospital, then Mum in hers, whilst me still trying to maintain a full time job.

    Mum died. She had her own money in her bank account, plus Granny's. Nearly 6 figures. But no will. Unsure why, Scottish law maybe, but myself and my Brother had to renounce any claims to mum's estate in order that Dad could inherit Mum's savings and belongings.

    Dad had to attend court in front of a Sheriff, so that the paperwork could be sorted out. He cried from the minute he walked through that court door until we finally got him home.

    Please. Make a will. It saves so much grief later on.
    Last edited by ukwmo; 31-01-2017 at 1:30 PM.
    • Nick_C
    • By Nick_C 31st Jan 17, 1:41 PM
    • 2,721 Posts
    • 3,654 Thanks
    Nick_C
    Not everyone needs to make a will. But if you do, make sure it is lodged somewhere safe. When my mum died, I searched high and low for a will, but couldn't find anything, although she had previously told me she had made one.

    If you have been married more than once and have children, all the more reason to lodge the will in a safe place. When my grandfather dies, his second wife tore up the will. The same thing happened to a friend of mine.

    Personally, I have no children or living parents, and want my entire estate to pass to my spouse on my death, so living in England there is no need to make a will. Administering a simple estate under the rules of intestacy is straightforward.
    • Proxima Centauri
    • By Proxima Centauri 31st Jan 17, 1:45 PM
    • 953 Posts
    • 1,660 Thanks
    Proxima Centauri
    In all honesty, we'd have done it quicker, cheaper, easier, if there'd been no wills at all.
    Originally posted by PasturesNew
    None of my dad's family made (or make) Wills. They "don't believe in it"

    When dad passed away unexpectedly (and intestate) there was quite a bit of faffing around, with regard to his finances, but that may have been due to his poor money management skills and leaving debts, rather than him not having a Will..

    Neither myself nor my OH have assets, nor Wills.
    • BJV
    • By BJV 31st Jan 17, 1:50 PM
    • 2,141 Posts
    • 3,229 Thanks
    BJV
    Never had a will never thought I needed it. My OH runs a hotel and a young man came in to book a funeral. OH thought must be for parents.

    Transpired that it was for his 35 year old wife who had died suddenly ( hemorrhage in her sleep) Left two young children, no life insurance for her ( was main carer for children ).

    Hubby now devastated has two young children to look after and had lots of problems sorting everything out.

    We now have much more life insurance, two wills. Hope I don't have to use either for a very very long time but would like to think that the people left behind could spend the time remembering me rather than worrying about bills or how the estate should be split.
    Happiness, Health and Wealth in that order please!
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 31st Jan 17, 2:11 PM
    • 26,926 Posts
    • 68,733 Thanks
    Mojisola
    Gran transferred her considerable savings to my Mum (my Gran's Daughter) when the power of attorney paperwork was finally drawn up (and that's another story).

    Please. Make a will. It saves so much grief later on.
    Originally posted by ukwmo
    Absolutely agree with making a will - but a POA should never mix up the donor's money with their own.
    • Robin9
    • By Robin9 31st Jan 17, 2:38 PM
    • 1,267 Posts
    • 788 Thanks
    Robin9
    Not everyone needs to make a will. But if you do, make sure it is lodged somewhere safe. When my mum died, I searched high and low for a will, but couldn't find anything, although she had previously told me she had made one.

    If you have been married more than once and have children, all the more reason to lodge the will in a safe place. When my grandfather dies, his second wife tore up the will. The same thing happened to a friend of mine.

    Personally, I have no children or living parents, and want my entire estate to pass to my spouse on my death, so living in England there is no need to make a will. Administering a simple estate under the rules of intestacy is straightforward.
    Originally posted by Nick_C
    Have you thought about what happens should your spouse die first ?
    • Nick_C
    • By Nick_C 31st Jan 17, 4:00 PM
    • 2,721 Posts
    • 3,654 Thanks
    Nick_C
    Have you thought about what happens should your spouse die first ?
    Originally posted by Robin9
    If he dies first then I will make a will, but with an 18 year age difference that's unlikely. And if we die together in an accident then I am deemed to have died first anyway being the elder.
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