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    • Chris P
    • By Chris P 29th Aug 16, 5:33 PM
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    Chris P
    Advice on child maintenance payment to ex-wife
    • #1
    • 29th Aug 16, 5:33 PM
    Advice on child maintenance payment to ex-wife 29th Aug 16 at 5:33 PM
    Hi all. We're trying to agree on a court order for the finances. I earn twice what she earns. Initially we agreed that I would pay £650pm, but i now think thats far too much.

    Daughter 1 is starting school in a week. Daughter 2 goes to nursery, and after our child care vouchers I pay circa £350pm to Nursery.

    We are going to have the kids 50/50. According to the child support calculators all i would have to pay is £66pw.

    If i did pay her £650pm then I would have (after paying maintenance and nursery) £2,000. She would have £2,300.

    Just looking for peoples thoughts please
    Thanks
Page 1
    • Jamiehelsinki
    • By Jamiehelsinki 29th Aug 16, 5:53 PM
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    Jamiehelsinki
    • #2
    • 29th Aug 16, 5:53 PM
    • #2
    • 29th Aug 16, 5:53 PM
    If the calculator says 66 then that's what I would pay.

    I'm in a similar position to yourself, my ex wife is doing well in maintenance from myself while living in the family house with a tiny mortgage yet I have to pay rent at double what our mortgage is for a shoe box and my daughter is more or less living with me.

    The family home looks like it might be about to sell so I'm keeping quiet for the time being, if she finds out I'm about to re negotiate the maintenance she might mess up the sale.
    Last edited by Jamiehelsinki; 08-02-2017 at 1:09 AM.
    • peachyprice
    • By peachyprice 29th Aug 16, 6:22 PM
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    peachyprice
    • #3
    • 29th Aug 16, 6:22 PM
    • #3
    • 29th Aug 16, 6:22 PM
    My thoughts: If you really are splitting time with the children 50/50 why would she need maintenance?

    I know it's not a popular view, particularly on this forum, but if you're sharing the cost of childcare, sharing time spent and sharing the cost of every day stuff like clothes, shoes, uniform etc., why should you shell out more?
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    • Beckyy
    • By Beckyy 29th Aug 16, 8:06 PM
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    • #4
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:06 PM
    • #4
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:06 PM
    Is the £650 including the £350 to nursery? If not then you would technically be paying £1000.

    If you're genuinely having the children 50/50 including nights then sharing the cost of nursery costs any splitting other general expenses (school trips, uniforms etc.) sounds reasonable to me personally. £650 is alot of money, more than a part time wage for a lot of people!
    • kingfisherblue
    • By kingfisherblue 29th Aug 16, 8:19 PM
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    • #5
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:19 PM
    • #5
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:19 PM
    £650 plus the £350 for nursery? That's a heck of a lot of money!

    When you say that you are having the children 50/50, is that overnight as well? Child maintenance is usually worked out based on where the children sleep. If they sleep at your house one night a week, CM is reduced by one seventh. Two nights, reduce by two sevenths.

    Who will pay for clothes, uniform, school dinners, external clubs such as swimming?

    If you are paying the amount on the CM calculator, then that is your legal liability, but if your ex is paying for all the clothing etc, you might want to pay a bit more. Alternatively, you could put money into savings for your children when they are older. There is no requirement for you to pay more than your liability though.
    • theoretica
    • By theoretica 29th Aug 16, 8:22 PM
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    • #6
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:22 PM
    • #6
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:22 PM
    My thoughts: If you really are splitting time with the children 50/50 why would she need maintenance?

    I know it's not a popular view, particularly on this forum, but if you're sharing the cost of childcare, sharing time spent and sharing the cost of every day stuff like clothes, shoes, uniform etc., why should you shell out more?
    Originally posted by peachyprice
    If separated parents split the time exactly 50/50 then he owes her maintenance for half the time AND she owes him maintenance for the other half. This only cancels out if the two parents earn the same.
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    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 29th Aug 16, 8:52 PM
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    • #7
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:52 PM
    • #7
    • 29th Aug 16, 8:52 PM
    Isn't Maintenance paid to the parent who gets child benefit?
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    • Chris P
    • By Chris P 30th Aug 16, 11:08 AM
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    Chris P
    • #8
    • 30th Aug 16, 11:08 AM
    • #8
    • 30th Aug 16, 11:08 AM
    Thanks Guy. Yes i will be having them overnight 7 days for every other week. And the £650 is in addition to the £450 (i forgot about child 1's wrap around school care). All food clothes trips etc will be split 50/50.

    The family home is a big detached 4/5 house. She can only just afford to keep the mortgage based on me paying £650pm.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 30th Aug 16, 11:24 AM
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    FBaby
    • #9
    • 30th Aug 16, 11:24 AM
    • #9
    • 30th Aug 16, 11:24 AM
    If her wage is much lower could she be entitled to working tax credits that would pay a large element of childcare? When working or her income do you include any benefits she might be entitled to? Will you both be getting CB for one child?
    • Mimi Arc en ciel
    • By Mimi Arc en ciel 30th Aug 16, 11:31 AM
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    Mimi Arc en ciel
    Thanks Guy. Yes i will be having them overnight 7 days for every other week. And the £650 is in addition to the £450 (i forgot about child 1's wrap around school care). All food clothes trips etc will be split 50/50.

    The family home is a big detached 4/5 house. She can only just afford to keep the mortgage based on me paying £650pm.
    Originally posted by Chris P
    I think you are being generous. My ex pays me what CSA state. I pay for their school fees, clothing, activities etc from maintenance.

    With all due respect, what would happen if she got another partner? Would you still make large payments for her to live in the 5 bed family home with her new partner? These things need to be thought about.

    I think its great you aren't trying to weasel out of paying, but equally you need to consider your own finances. Now shes a single parent she will more likely to be entitled to working tax credits to help her pay the nursery already, so why would you need to pay this? She might also be entitled to child tax credits also as well as child benefit and your maintenance
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    • Kayalana99
    • By Kayalana99 30th Aug 16, 11:45 AM
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    Kayalana99
    Something isn't adding up here.

    If you are legally supposed to pay 66 a week, that works out about £250 (lets round up)

    Child payments is 20% of your wage, so at £250 a month that would mean you earn £1,250 a month.

    So how can you afford to pay her basically £1,000 a month (including childcare) and still live?

    ETA:

    You've worked this out wrong so if you earn £3,000 a month (based on your orignal post) you should be paying £600 a month.
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    • Mimi Arc en ciel
    • By Mimi Arc en ciel 30th Aug 16, 11:58 AM
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    Mimi Arc en ciel
    Something isn't adding up here.

    If you are legally supposed to pay 66 a week, that works out about £250 (lets round up)

    Child payments is 20% of your wage, so at £250 a month that would mean you earn £1,250 a month.

    So how can you afford to pay her basically £1,000 a month (including childcare) and still live?

    ETA:

    You've worked this out wrong so if you earn £3,000 a month (based on your orignal post) you should be paying £600 a month.
    Originally posted by Kayalana99
    Not necessarily. We don't know the circumstances. OP might be living with someone else and have children in the household which would reduce payments. They are also having 50/50 childcare.


    £3k a month is around £692 a week. On Child Maintenance Service website based on the fact that OP earns 692 a week, has no other children and 50/50 child care it works out at £35pw (If he was having child 1 night a week it would be £83.00 a week)
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    • Chris P
    • By Chris P 30th Aug 16, 1:51 PM
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    Chris P
    If her wage is much lower could she be entitled to working tax credits that would pay a large element of childcare? When working or her income do you include any benefits she might be entitled to? Will you both be getting CB for one child?
    Originally posted by FBaby
    She receives all CHB. She is also applying for CTC (I dont think she qualifies for WTC).

    Kayalana99: I believe the 20% is if no custody is included? I will be having them 50% of the time and paying for at least 50% of their costs (more actually as all school and nursery costs are being met by me).

    The maintenance calculator took account of my 50% care, and my gross weekly pay of £1067
    • Mimi Arc en ciel
    • By Mimi Arc en ciel 30th Aug 16, 2:44 PM
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    Mimi Arc en ciel
    She receives all CHB. She is also applying for CTC (I dont think she qualifies for WTC).

    Kayalana99: I believe the 20% is if no custody is included? I will be having them 50% of the time and paying for at least 50% of their costs (more actually as all school and nursery costs are being met by me).

    The maintenance calculator took account of my 50% care, and my gross weekly pay of £1067
    Originally posted by Chris P

    I personally don't think you should be liable for the nursery care on the days you don't specifically have your child but that's just 1 persons opinion.

    I would also put in place now what happens during vacations / school holidays. Whose having the child when and whose responsible for what. For example, who gets the child at Christmas? Whilst it might be acceptable now to "share the day" what happens when one of you moves on?
    Last edited by Mimi Arc en ciel; 30-08-2016 at 2:46 PM.
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    • groovy_chick
    • By groovy_chick 30th Aug 16, 3:03 PM
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    groovy_chick
    The family home is a big detached 4/5 house. She can only just afford to keep the mortgage based on me paying £650pm.
    Originally posted by Chris P
    I think this is the point that needs addressing - the amount that is being asked for is not based on the OP's earnings, it is based on the cost of running the family home.

    You can do all of the calculations you want, but what you need to be asking yourself is whether you want your ex to sell the house and downsize or if you want to help them stay there?
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    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 30th Aug 16, 4:34 PM
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    FBaby
    Is she not entitled to WTC because she earns too much or because she doesn't work 16 hours?
    • JReacher1
    • By JReacher1 30th Aug 16, 5:26 PM
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    JReacher1
    If you start renegotiating the maintenance is it possible that you ex may start to renegotiate the access arrangements?

    It seems like you've agreed £650 with her and are currently going through an amicable divorce. Changing the terms now will almost certainly lead to a frosty relationship with your ex wife.
    • mark5
    • By mark5 30th Aug 16, 6:30 PM
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    mark5
    Something isn't adding up here.

    If you are legally supposed to pay 66 a week, that works out about £250 (lets round up)

    Child payments is 20% of your wage, so at £250 a month that would mean you earn £1,250 a month.

    So how can you afford to pay her basically £1,000 a month (including childcare) and still live?

    ETA:

    You've worked this out wrong so if you earn £3,000 a month (based on your orignal post) you should be paying £600 a month.
    Originally posted by Kayalana99

    The 20% maintenance figure for. 2 children often gets banded about but is a guide, if you look in to it further, the more the maintenance paying parent has the children, the less maintenance they should pay, there is a csa calculator which works it out. Basically 20% is only paid for 2 children if one parent has the children the majority of the time.
    The op has his children nearly 50% of the time so the maintenance owed is much lower.
    • mark5
    • By mark5 30th Aug 16, 6:33 PM
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    mark5
    If you start renegotiating the maintenance is it possible that you ex may start to renegotiate the access arrangements?

    It seems like you've agreed £650 with her and are currently going through an amicable divorce. Changing the terms now will almost certainly lead to a frosty relationship with your ex wife.
    Originally posted by JReacher1
    So he should just pay twice as much as is due not to upset the ex?
    • JReacher1
    • By JReacher1 30th Aug 16, 6:36 PM
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    JReacher1
    So he should just pay twice as much as is due not to upset the ex?
    Originally posted by mark5
    No, but there seems a time to bring this up and waiting until quite near the end of the negotiations to suddenly announce to your ex that you're not giving them the money they need to be able to afford to stay in the house they live in is quite unpleasant.
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