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  • FIRST POST
    • Lostformoney
    • By Lostformoney 25th Feb 17, 1:00 AM
    • 13Posts
    • 2Thanks
    Lostformoney
    Can't afford to stay in a relationship
    • #1
    • 25th Feb 17, 1:00 AM
    Can't afford to stay in a relationship 25th Feb 17 at 1:00 AM
    This is a long post so please bare with me. I'd also like to point out I suffer anxiety and depression, please be kind as I am under immense pressure.

    Basically....I cannot afford to stay in a relationship with my partner due to benefit cuts and I need help.

    I used to get higher care and mobility DLA. This paid for my home help to keep me living at home and helped me get around, I also had a Motability car. During assesment for PIP I was awarded standard for mobility and care. I lost my Motability car, because of that I was left unable to get my kids to school, unable to get to doctors or hospital appointments. I also lost my homehelp, the situation became terrible as with my partner away often with work - I had no support and social work are over run and unable to see me anytime soon.

    I spoke to a benefits advisor and they realised the mobility side of PIP was wrong and appealed to get this fixed. By the time this happened I'd used the transitional package to pay for my home help and taxis, the rest I put towards finance deposit for a car that could fit my family, but I can't drive as it doesn't have my adaptations - I therefore couldn't get a mobility car. The care assesment is correct, but under the PIP system, I don't get enough points to cover the costs of my care needs.

    Because care has went down I have been told I am no longer eligible for certain tax credits benefits and to top it off, tax credits have been overpaid as a result.

    To this end, what is coming in from OHs wage and my benefits isn't even covering the basics. We live in a wheelchair accessible home and the rent is just over half my partners wage, council tax has been reduced due to disability but it's due to go up for everyone, the cost of where we live is high but due to OH work we have no option, we are tied into phone/broadband contracts from when we were financially stable and can't reduce or get out of them. We get tax credits, but due to my PIP care being reduced, unbeknown to me I stopped being eligible for a disabled element and I've been told we have been overpaid and the amounts will stop until next year then be significantly reduced.

    We have just worked out that because of all of this, we are in the negative of over £600 a month now and that's without my homehelp. We will have absolutely nothing left over for savings or car repairs.

    CAB looked at our income and explained we are not entitled to anymore help and tax credits have said no to Paying back over payments in smaller amounts. The bottom line is, we can't afford to be in a relationship together.

    We have just worked out our only current options are to split up (because our system says I'll get all sorts of benefits!), go homeless or wait for the debt collectors when we don't pay anything.

    Can anyone come up with some ideas?

    We can't switch providers due to the special meter & boiler we have
    We can't move as there are no suitable properties for cheaper
    We are paying the minimum to our debts that we can
    We can't get out our phone and broadband contracts
    I am very good with food budget, I normally cook most things from scratch when I can (though this is less now I don't have home help)
    We do not socialise or do anything now we could cut back on :-(
    We have tried selling things to make up the gap but we have ran out
    As our daughter is two weeks old, I can't go to work but even if I could, I need my home help to help me get kids to nursery to go

    Any suggestions would be gratefully welcomed and again, please be kind and consider the mental health issues I suffer from
Page 6
    • just trying
    • By just trying 18th Mar 17, 11:00 PM
    • 765 Posts
    • 2,666 Thanks
    just trying
    Hello

    I do not understand your questions to the OP are you from another country and possibly your writing in English is poor? What are you meaning?
    Originally posted by skcollobcat10
    You mean written English. Where are you from. Born and bred here. Think nearly everyone would understand what I wrote.

    Where are you from.

    Here goes, some would say she's a scrounger, putting herself in a position to claim maximum benefits, yes, when there's people who work on less.
    Last edited by just trying; 18-03-2017 at 11:06 PM.
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    • skcollobcat10
    • By skcollobcat10 18th Mar 17, 11:19 PM
    • 214 Posts
    • 1,780 Thanks
    skcollobcat10
    You mean written English. Where are you from. Born and bred here. Think nearly everyone would understand what I wrote.

    Where are you from.

    Here goes, some would say she's a scrounger, putting herself in a position to claim maximum benefits, yes, when there's people who work on less.
    Originally posted by just trying

    Now I know what you mean. It was just that previous post was not quite clear. I am in agreement.
    • just trying
    • By just trying 18th Mar 17, 11:43 PM
    • 765 Posts
    • 2,666 Thanks
    just trying
    Now I know what you mean. It was just that previous post was not quite clear. I am in agreement.
    Originally posted by skcollobcat10
    Think it was quite clear, your ignorant saying you couldn't understand. Think I made it clear I didn't agree what she was doing.

    I wonder where your from, you didn't reveal that, my youngest is dyslexic and your sort of comments are not good, I think I made my comments clear.
    SEALED POT CHALLENGE MEMBER 098
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    • SingleSue
    • By SingleSue 19th Mar 17, 12:51 AM
    • 9,714 Posts
    • 53,344 Thanks
    SingleSue
    That could have been a genuine mistake when describing climbing into bath.

    I still say shall we take the dogs for a walk and I have been a permanent wheelchair user (cannot walk at all) for 13 years.
    Originally posted by skcollobcat10
    Today we went for a walk on the prom...well that was how I described it. What actually happened was that youngest was the one walking and I was being pushed in the wheelchair.

    Going for a roll on the prom doesn't have quite the same ring to it
    Keep battling on, I will get there eventually..even if I don't know where there is! Eldests' diagnosis (4.5.10) is Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility type and now it looks like I have it too (13.1.11) eekk!
    • NYM
    • By NYM 19th Mar 17, 9:10 AM
    • 3,047 Posts
    • 5,138 Thanks
    NYM

    Going for a roll on the prom doesn't have quite the same ring to it
    Originally posted by SingleSue

    Maybe not...but it sounds like it could be such fun!
    • w06
    • By w06 19th Mar 17, 10:51 AM
    • 112 Posts
    • 167 Thanks
    w06
    and so much better than a shove on the prom1
    • MHOWARD
    • By MHOWARD 19th Mar 17, 12:11 PM
    • 47 Posts
    • 53 Thanks
    MHOWARD
    Deleted, thought better of it!
    Last edited by MHOWARD; 19-03-2017 at 12:13 PM.
    • Rejast
    • By Rejast 19th Mar 17, 1:12 PM
    • 28 Posts
    • 30 Thanks
    Rejast
    I've read through this and I think the outcome was predictable from the first post. I don't think the OP wanted anything other than confirmation that splitting was the way to go. they failed to give any information which would enable anyone to give any specific advice to help them cope together.
    I do however think that it is so unfair that there is a situation where people are better off apart than together.
    I've done the sums myself a few times (as I thought that some people's assessments of what I would get were exaggerated) my partner and I living together get no help and pay back some child benefit. If we were to split and for arguments sake we both lived in a house each with the bills the same as the joint one I would have double ish my current income and he would only be down about a £1000 pounds a year and that's with him paying me maintenance.
    • latest flame
    • By latest flame 19th Mar 17, 2:36 PM
    • 277 Posts
    • 623 Thanks
    latest flame
    Think it was quite clear, your ignorant saying you couldn't understand.
    Originally posted by just trying
    Irony.
    Well done.
    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 19th Mar 17, 6:47 PM
    • 1,201 Posts
    • 2,495 Thanks
    Loz01
    So what happens now, you wait a few months in a new place then get back together??? Sorry but thats a swindle IMO.
    When you think about quitting, remember why you started.
    • Cakeguts
    • By Cakeguts 19th Mar 17, 7:22 PM
    • 1,678 Posts
    • 2,040 Thanks
    Cakeguts
    Splitting up so that one partner usually the wife gets all the benefits and the husband doesn't have to contribute is quite common where I live. It is all a big fiddle on the benefits. Been going on for years.
    • latest flame
    • By latest flame 19th Mar 17, 10:15 PM
    • 277 Posts
    • 623 Thanks
    latest flame
    Splitting up so that one partner usually the wife gets all the benefits and the husband doesn't have to contribute is quite common where I live. It is all a big fiddle on the benefits. Been going on for years.
    Originally posted by Cakeguts
    I assume you mean "the UK" its all over, one huge con.
    So you're a feminist ?
    That's cute.
    • just trying
    • By just trying 26th Mar 17, 12:35 AM
    • 765 Posts
    • 2,666 Thanks
    just trying
    Irony.
    Well done.
    Originally posted by latest flame
    Whatever, think I was clear. With regards to what had been said.
    SEALED POT CHALLENGE MEMBER 098
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