Support for people with Depression

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  • Sazbo
    Sazbo Posts: 4,617
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    edited 27 January 2010 at 10:15AM
    Good morning everyone :hello:

    Hi pipkin, nice to see you again and you are always welcome here. I hope you don't mind though if I prefer not to get drawn into a who-said-what discussion about another thread, if that's ok x
    shazrobo wrote: »
    hope the counselling goes well sazzy

    Thanks Shaz, counselling was quite tough, but in a good way I think. I wasn't really in the mood tbh, my best friend's mum lost her fight against cancer yesterday - sorry guys, not the cheeriest of news I know - but she went peacefully which was something at least. So I turned up to my session last night with other things on my mind to say the least, and not really wanting to talk, but the conversation turned out to be very helpful and I was able to broach things that I've not felt strong enough to talk about before, so it was tough, but helpful, if that makes sense.

    I was wondering how your evening went Shaz, but sounds like you had a nice chilled-out time. Of course it's entirely up to you how you decide to play things with Ian. Just try and keep your needs at the forefront of your mind, is all I would say xx

    jenniewb - I'm seriously impressed that you go to to circuit classes!

    Well, busy day ahead at work, so I better get on.

    Much love to everyone and have a good day :wave:

    Sazzy xxxxxxxx

    ETA: Tiff if you're reading this, I hope you're ok xx
    4 May 2010 <3
  • pipkin71
    pipkin71 Posts: 21,821 Forumite
    geminilady wrote: »
    So if Beachbeth had said some instead of most (IF she did) you would not have posted?I doubt it and would not presume to tell someone what they should have said anyway.

    Then you would be wrong, as that was the only part of her post I commented on.
    geminilady wrote: »
    As the thread has been deleted nobody can read it and form their own opinion so i cannot see the point of your posts.

    Very true, which is why I also fail to understand why beachbeth would bring a deleted thread up here, especially when what she bought up wasn't entirely factual. As you said though, you wouldn't tell anyone what they can and cannot post, so even if you fail to see the point of my post, it's enough that I did.
    geminilady wrote: »
    I would also note that beachbeth did not mention the name of AB you did, and if he did put a link to a post on here he should be banned that is disgusting behaviour and he should be ashamed of himself.

    I don't agree with what he posted, nor do I agree with beachbeth discussing him when he has no knowledge of what is being discussed.
    beachbeth wrote: »
    I totally agree, Jenniewb. Pipkin and I will just have to agree to disagree. I took umbrage when more than one person on the other thread said that depression was attention seeking. This trivialises how most people experience depression. I know a few people who suffer and the last thing they do is attention seek - most just want to hide away from the world.

    I can understand that, but you closed off to the discussion and even though people were discussing their experience, even though links were provided where professionals discussed attention seeking symptoms of particular types of depression , you took umbrage.

    It isn't an easy matter to discuss. I personally didn't think it trivialised depression, as the depression is still very real, and that was most definitely pointed out.

    Naturally some people were giving opinion rather than their experience, and opinion will always differ. Experiences differ too, in so much as whilst one person doesn't understand attention seeking in depression, others will have experience of it. It doesn't mean it's not true, because someonehasn't experienced it.
    beachbeth wrote: »
    Ab seems to be treading more and more on thin ice with his comments and actions. I used to think as Pipkin does that he knew what he was talking about. However, after reading some of his comments and opinions about depression I have come to realise more and more that he knows very little about the subject and he is, after all, not medically trained.

    You don't have to be medically trained to understand an illness.

    Neither of us are medically trained, but will still understand certain things.
    beachbeth wrote: »
    I do not want to start arguing on a thread that is here to help and support people so I would suggest, Pipkin, that we leave it that we both just see things differently.

    I'm not here to argue, however, your post wasn' totally correct, which is why I posted.

    Yes, we see things differently. On some things I agree with you, on others I didn't. If I see something I disagree with, I will put the other side of it, because as I said last night, a 'them and us' does no-one any good :)
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • pipkin71
    pipkin71 Posts: 21,821 Forumite
    Sazbo wrote: »
    Good morning everyone :hello:

    Hi pipkin, nice to see you again and you are always welcome here. I hope you don't mind though if I prefer not to get drawn into a who-said-what discussion about another thread, if that's ok x

    Hi Sazbo.

    Hope you're ok :)

    I understand.

    I don't think the original comments about the other thread should have been made, but it's done, we have both had our say and can move on.
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • pipkin71
    pipkin71 Posts: 21,821 Forumite
    Sorry to hear about your friend's mum :(

    I hope you can get something out of the counselling. I find it too difficult to talk about things with others.

    I was offered counselling just before christmas, when the diagnosis of my medical problems was put before me. As upset as I was, I couldn't face talking to someone about what my diagnosis means long term :(

    I know it does help many people though.
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • beachbeth
    beachbeth Posts: 3,862
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    edited 27 January 2010 at 10:49AM
    pipkin71 wrote: »
    Very true, which is why I also fail to understand why beachbeth would bring a deleted thread up here, especially when what she bought up wasn't entirely factual.

    It was factual. Some of the posts in that thread were trivialising depression by saying it is attention seeking. Perhaps some depressed people do attention seek but I don't know of any myself. I highlighted the attention seeking aspect here because I wondered what other people suffering with depression thought, not to cause an argument.
    pipkin71 wrote:
    I don't agree with what he posted, nor do I agree with beachbeth discussing him when he has no knowledge of what is being discussed.

    Which is why I didn't name him. To do so would be unfair as he wouldn't be able to defend himself if he didn't realise he was being discussed - a rule that he himself doesn't seem to follow.:cool: It was you who named him.
    Pipkin71 wrote:
    You don't have to be medically trained to understand an illness.

    Neither of us are medically trained, but will still understand certain things.

    I suffer from depression and so know how it affects me and how it affects other people that I know suffer with it. I discuss it from this point of view. AB and some others like him who don't suffer don't understand. They don't have the condition and aren't medically trained and simply see it as something you can pull yourself together from.
    Pipkin71 wrote:
    I'm not here to argue, however, your post wasn' totally correct, which is why I posted.

    Yes, we see things differently. On some things I agree with you, on others I didn't. If I see something I disagree with, I will put the other side of it, because as I said last night, a 'them and us' does no-one any good :)

    From my point of view my post was totally correct. I welcome discussion about depression and if someone doesn't agree with my point of view then thats fine. I do take offence at people being nasty or laughing about people with depression however, which is what happens regularly on DT.
  • beachbeth
    beachbeth Posts: 3,862
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    Im glad the counselling went well, Sazbo, even if it was tough. I hope you feel a little relieved after the session.
  • Sazbo
    Sazbo Posts: 4,617
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    pipkin71 wrote: »
    Sorry to hear about your friend's mum :(

    I hope you can get something out of the counselling. I find it too difficult to talk about things with others.

    I was offered counselling just before christmas, when the diagnosis of my medical problems was put before me. As upset as I was, I couldn't face talking to someone about what my diagnosis means long term :(

    I know it does help many people though.

    Thanks Pipkin. The difficult thing was that my friend lives abroad, in quite a remote area. And it was hard getting a flight at short notice. My friend had already lost her sister to the same thing, so understandably she's really not in a good way emotionally right now, and I feel so helpless... She'll be staying in the UK for a time at least, so perhaps I can find time to see her at some point.

    I know exactly how you feel about counselling. I put it off for 20 years at least. Such was my difficulty about talking about myself. But in the end I had no choice, my depression had painted me into a corner to such an extent, I couldn't go on like that any more, I really had no alternative. I've been having counselling for least two years and only now am I able to start opening up. It is really hard. But maybe I have an old-fashioned "no pain, no gain" view of it - it IS hard, undeniably, but then if it wasn't hard, would it be doing any good? I don't know, that's just my view really.

    But I can look back now to how I was when I started, and I can see that, altho there's still work to be done, that I have come a long way. I am undoubtedly better for it. I tend to think that I didn't get disabled by depression overnight, so counselling is not a quick fix. But I would recommend it.

    The most important thing is to find a way that works for you pipkin. You can always talk here if it helps.

    All the best,

    Saz x
    4 May 2010 <3
  • Sazbo
    Sazbo Posts: 4,617
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    beachbeth wrote: »
    Im glad the counselling went well, Sazbo, even if it was tough. I hope you feel a little relieved after the session.

    Thanks Beth, yes relief is definitely the word! It doesn't always go that way, I'll be honest, some sessions are better than others. But last night I did feel a sense of relief, and peace.

    Sazzy x
    4 May 2010 <3
  • beachbeth
    beachbeth Posts: 3,862
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    I tried counselling a few years ago but it didn't help at all. I think it depends on the counsellor. I found it hard to talk to the lady who was mine and I usually find it hard to open up to someone I don't know. Im glad its helping you, Sazbo. Its something that I should look into doing again but Im just worried I will get someone like my last counsellor.
  • pipkin71
    pipkin71 Posts: 21,821 Forumite
    edited 27 January 2010 at 11:30AM
    beachbeth wrote: »
    It was factual. Some of the posts in that thread were trivialising depression by saying it is attention seeking. Perhaps some depressed people do attention seek but I don't know of any myself. I highlighted the attention seeking aspect here because I wondered what other people suffering with depression thought, not to cause an argument.

    No-one said most people with depression are attention seekers, so in that respect, it wasn't factual.

    So why not just ask what people thought about attention seeking and depression, rather than bring up a deleted thread, and post something that wasn't entirely factual, especially when people cannot go back and check for themselves?
    beachbeth wrote: »
    Which is why I didn't name him. To do so would be unfair as he wouldn't be able to defend himself if he didn't realise he was being discussed - a rule that he himself doesn't seem to follow.:cool: It was you who named him.

    You didn't name him, but that doesn't mean others wouldn't know who you were talking about. I knew who you were talking about. Is it fair that you can talk about someone and they have no knowledge of what is being said?

    Do I pm him, and bring him to this thread? Would you be happy and ok with that?

    I'm not going to pm him, as this isn't the board for it, and I know it would cause an argument. I think though, when you post something, you have to understand that it can bring consequences. If you would be happy with ab coming along and pulling up your posts, then all well and good. If you wouldn't be happy, then you shouldn't have posted anything about him, even though you didn't name him.
    beachbeth wrote: »
    I suffer from depression and so know how it affects me and how it affects other people that I know suffer with it. I discuss it from this point of view. AB and some others like him who don't suffer don't understand. They don't have the condition and aren't medically trained and simply see it as something you can pull yourself together from.

    I discussed it from experience, but you also dismissed that, deciding my experience wasn't important because it didn't match your experience.

    Yes, some people trivialise depression. Some people think you can just pull yourself together, but not everyone did. You dismissed anyone who didn't match your experience, and was pulled up on it by other posters.
    beachbeth wrote: »
    From my point of view my post was totally correct. I welcome discussion about depression and if someone doesn't agree with my point of view then thats fine. I do take offence at people being nasty or laughing about people with depression however, which is what happens regularly on DT.

    Well, if you're happy with your post so be it. If these posts were mentioned in DT with a link, some people who took part in that discussion would come over and agree with you, others wouldn't. It happens, people will always form their own opinion, and we each have a right to share that opinion.

    As far as I'm concerned, your post wasn't totally factual, and I question why you mentioned a deleted thread but it's done, both sides of the thread have been discussed so we move on.

    Some people do trivialise depression. Some people trivialise a bad back. Some people trivialise anything they have no knowledge of and because of that, it makes people defensive, however, it also at times, makes them dismiss others who have a different experience of a situation, to themselves.
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
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