overwhelmed new member

Coco114 · 19 February 2012 at 11:28AM

Sorry I only told half story ! We are not divorced yet (can't afford legal bills !) ex hasn't lived here for 6 months - is renting own place.
Haven't been to CSA yet as I really , really just wanted everything to be agreed between us on as friendly a basis as possible , though it's becoming apparent that that won't work long term !
Eldest is 18 but in FTE so CSA won't count him anyway I think.
Thanks for all the advice everyone - I guess I am going to have to take my 45 mins of free legal advice !
Sorry for boring you all but I feel better 
Will get busy with figures & then you guys can tell me what you think !
Xx

cpjackso · 19 February 2012 at 11:36AM

Bit worried about ringing up for APR as I am guessing they will all start hassling me for payment ?!

Most account statements (not demand letters...) will have the APR on somewhere so you probably wont need to ring for most. If you have missed payments/demand letters - then others will be able to advise whether you should ring or not.

Coco114 wrote: »

Haven't been to CSA yet as I really , really just wanted everything to be agreed between us on as friendly a basis as possible , though it's becoming apparent that that won't work long term !

Definitely keep it amicable with the ex if you can - the calculation I showed on the other page is a starting point for discussions and will let you figure out if you are getting enough or not. Also - I've heard of people getting maintenance as long as the 'child' is still in education.

The joint debts are really your main priority to unravel - you definitely need to determine what they are and who owes what.

Coco114 · 19 February 2012 at 11:54AM

Roughly :
My Inc £1850
Ex money £500
CHB £135
Tax C £45.00. Total in £2530

Mortgage £697 (Inc arrears Pmt agreed )
Secured £553
Council Tax £115
Water £56
G & E Inc arrears £165
Tv & sat £60
Phones (land line/ int & 3 mobiles tied in till yr end) £100
Petrol & car travel to work etc £150
Ins hse £27
Ccj jt £86
Ccj me £30
Groceries approx £300
(if I were making min pmts to all unsecured debt that would add £700 +)

Outst mortgage £124000
Secured loan £69000
My debts approx £20000
Ex debts approx £20000
Jt approx £20000

Currently looking at MRS which would basically reduce my housing costs to £535 for rent but a) no longer own it and b) ex already said would then reduce my payment by £200 pm
Eldest FTE finishes in May so hope he may get a job !!
That's it for now I think I need a cup of tea.
Also MRS has not yet been accepted & currently paying nothing to unsecured x

vasseur · 19 February 2012 at 12:04PM

Are you getting your single person's discount on your council tax?

cpjackso · 19 February 2012 at 12:06PM

OK - you need to use the webpage at makesenseofcards to format your SOA - it will also help you to find things you've forgotten to include. Statement of affairs calculator is here

Also you need to split your unsecured debts into individual balances and APRs. I would ignore your EXs debts at the moment as they dont involve you.

amorge · 19 February 2012 at 12:20PM

Hi, I became a single parent a year ago and have finally gotten to grips with the finances.

Are you claiming child & working tax credit? I noticed there was an income for £45 is that it? Avoid CSA at all costs, as soon as your eldest leaves college they will inform ex he can stop paying (they don't include I'm as FTE). My ex earns £45k and the CSA website says he should pay me £495 a mth so you're doing well with the £500.

You should look at a DIY divorce and then only pay solicitors for a clean break. I think you can get forms frm the CAB and it not costs about £300 in court fees.

Have you contacted any solicitors to see if they do a free 1 hr consultation? Your ex may be liable to pay you spouse maintenance, this starts when the divorce is finalised and means he may have to pay your monthly sum until the day you remarry or one of you dies....I was initially dubious about claiming as I didn't want it to be all about £ but if you're struggling you should look into it.

Good luck

[Deleted User] · 19 February 2012 at 12:24PM

Coco114 wrote: »

Roughly :
My Inc £1850 Any way to increase?
Ex money £500
CHB £135
Tax C £45.00.
Total in £2530 Would you be in a position to take in a lodger under the "rent a room" scheme? Info here: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/Taxes/TaxOnPropertyAndRentalIncome/DG_4017804

Mortgage £697 (Inc arrears Pmt agreed) How much of this is arrears, and when will the arrears be up to date so that you can revert to regular payments? And what will the regular payments be then
Secured £553 Was any of this spent on things that can be sold?
Council Tax £115 Are you paying over 10 or 12 months?
Water £56
G & E Inc arrears £165 How much of this is arrears and how much is regular payment? When will the arrears be up-to-date and what will the payment revert to then? - Use energy conservatively: switch down the thermostats on the hot water tank and central heating by a few degrees (you're unlikely to notice), switch things off don't leave them on standby, use energy saving bulbs, etc etc
Tv & sat £60 Can you downgrade this to the lowest package until the end of the contract? And when you're at the end of the contract switch to freeview
Phones (land line/ int & 3 mobiles tied in till yr end) £100 see if pleading with the mobile companies will allow you to downgrade a tariff before the end of the contract (if you plead hardship, they will sometimes allow this). When out of contract look at SIM only and PAYG options - I've saved a fortune since switching to GiffGaff, so I can recommend you take a look with them when the time comes
Petrol & car travel to work etc £150 Could you manage without a car? Would public transport be sufficient
Ins hse £27
Ccj jt £86
Ccj me £30
Groceries approx £300 I think that there are savings to be had here: meal plan, batch cook, cook from scratch, drop brands, shop in lidl/aldi
(if I were making min pmts to all unsecured debt that would add £700 +)I think that you really need to get in contact with one of the debt charaties for assistance and advice. They should be able to help you get token payments sorted here

Outst mortgage £124000
Secured loan £69000
My debts approx £20000 I am assuming that these are your debts only?
Ex debts approx £20000 I am assuming that these are your husbands debts only, and not in your name at all? Are any of these secured debts?
Jt approx £20000

Currently looking at MRS which would basically reduce my housing costs to £535 for rent but a) no longer own it and b) ex already said would then reduce my payment by £200 pm even if you don't want to go down the CSA route right now at least, it might be worth speaking to them informally for advice so that if your ex does start to cut his payment to you that you will know what your entitlement is
Eldest FTE finishes in May so hope he may get a job !! Get them to start looking for work well in advance.
That's it for now I think I need a cup of tea. you deserve a biscuit too!
Also MRS has not yet been accepted & currently paying nothing to unsecured x

Hi,

I have made some comments above, I hope that at least some of them will be of use to you.

D9

Coco114 · 19 February 2012 at 12:58PM

Thanks so much

Renting a room won't work small 3 bed & 6 yrs between kids ! My work trip takes 45 mins but would take 1hr 40 mins by PT noone in my area to car share with.
As for £ increase - I am thinking about poss p/t job if I can fit it in. Mortgage arrears are over 5 yrs (agreed in court @ suspended reposession hearing - but the court refused a suspended posession order thank god & was quite harsh on mortgage company !
Secured was to add conservatory & new kit etc and sadly at the time was valued at £190 - original debt was only £50k but the £69k is a recent redemption figure they gave me (3 wks ago) Inc int & costs etc !!!
I have just been looking at CCS website so will def speak to them ref : debt repayment.
Any arrears on g & e etc will be cleared in about 4 months so could maybe look at switching then ?
Also , ex does his visiting here : all day sat & 3 hours one evening as he supposedly can't afford to have them to stay .... So because I am nice , he still gets 2 meals a week from me - it just seems like decent thing to do , but I suspect its more about keeping an eye on what i am doing . I also think for kids sake - they need to spend time away from here with ex on their own.
What a mess !! I have tried to be friendly & decent but its not very well for me !
Xx

cpjackso · 19 February 2012 at 7:29PM

The thing that jumps out to me is that your income and money from elsewhere covers your current lifestyle. The problem is paying the payments on the debts - ie. you were overliving your means in the past. (Pretty much like everyone on here).

I would pretty much follow the advice of domino9; immediately cancel the sky tv package, reduce my phone bills as much as possible, reduce your grocery bill. Check council tax is over 12 months and you get the 25% discount.

You really do need to split out your debts into individual companies, credit cards/loans etc, the balances and the APRs.

Since you say you're already in arrears with the mortgage and gas+elec etc - you are almost certainly best contacting CCCS to get them to help you sort this out.

Keep smiling - you'll get it sorted - just keep up the effort

.

PS: I would ask the ex to take the kids out (take them to his/grandparents/park anything) instead of staying at yours - it might sound 'tight' but it will save you money on all the kids food - his food and will give you some space to chill - you're separated after all.

Coco114 · 19 February 2012 at 8:30PM

You are absolutely right - I can do this with my income , I think I am just going to have to accept the fact that I will have to clear all the jt debt myself & cover 3/4 of the mortgage (but at least I am fortunate that I can just about do it, some people aren't so lucky).
Cut backs can def be made & me and the kids have already made changes.
I'm sorry - guess just feeling a little sorry for myself as it took 2 to get in this mess but me that's left to clear it up. Have suggested that visiting be done elsewhere but sadly " tough it's still my house" seems to be the response I get - maybe I will just have to feed kids & then just go out everytime , maybe then the penny will drop !
Have been on cccs site & def need to make payment offers , no matter how small , at least it's a start

it's just hard trying to work out who has what debts now as it seems that people that write for payments aren't the original people we borrowed from ?! Very confusing .
Anyway, many thanks again & hopefully soon I will be able to put how much I owe to whom & cross a little off each month - a debt free date would be awesome

Xx

overwhelmed new member

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