I want to stop drowning

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  • Just wanted to come by and offer my support as well. It's hard when your debt is enormous (as ours is too) - seeing a way forward can seem such a challenge.

    Please do take the medication you have been prescribed - there is absolutely nothing wrong with being on it long term if that's what's needed. My mother takes anti-depressants (for anxiety rather than depression, but they work for her) and is cheerful about the fact she will take them until the day she dies, as it's better than the alternative for her. If someone had long term medication for a heart condition, we wouldn't think twice about them being on it long-term - it's no different for a mental health issue. Keeping yourself well (mentally as well as physically) is the most important thing you can do to help you tackle this.
    Trying to figure out a whole new life. Trying to figure out a whole new budget.
    Divorcing, unclear on final debt total right now, but focusing on building a financial buffer zone.
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794
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    Just wanted to come by and offer my support as well. It's hard when your debt is enormous (as ours is too) - seeing a way forward can seem such a challenge.

    Please do take the medication you have been prescribed - there is absolutely nothing wrong with being on it long term if that's what's needed. My mother takes anti-depressants (for anxiety rather than depression, but they work for her) and is cheerful about the fact she will take them until the day she dies, as it's better than the alternative for her. If someone had long term medication for a heart condition, we wouldn't think twice about them being on it long-term - it's no different for a mental health issue. Keeping yourself well (mentally as well as physically) is the most important thing you can do to help you tackle this.

    Thanks. I think I’m just worried about the side effects as the family member is very obese and still very depressed. But I did do research last night on the medication that I’ve been prescribed andit says any side effects should only last a couple of weeks. The fact is the way I’m living now isn’t right. I have depression, OCD and anxiety.
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794
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    Morning,

    Thank you for all the lovely messages and advice, I really do appreciate it.

    I’m going to try my medication and have a review in two weeks with my doctor so can always come off them if I have side effects.
    I check my finances too often and is too time consuming and depressing, I prob spend an hour every day playing around with figures. I think working with cash will help this as everytime I spend on my card I then go to the computer to log it and play around with the figures again!

    I’ve woken up feeling a bit rough with a head cold. I need to make changes in my life and enjoy my family more. At the minute I hoover most days and then I feel I have no time for the kids. Between cleaning and finances my days just pass by. I need to have more me time throughout the day even just ten minutes.

    Have a good day everyone
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794
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    On a positive note I forgot to mention that we received a random letter from our old mortgage company ( we used to own our own property) saying we had been charged too much interest and due back £80 which all helps. DH has also been paid £75 more due to a backdated payrise that he didn’t know about until recently. It all adds up and nice that was unexpected!
  • Morning debtaghh,

    Hope you're feeling a bit brighter this morning? I echo everyone else comments about the meds, if needed you've at least got to try them :)

    Well done on the money coming back, that's a great result.

    Have a lovely day xx
  • For your mental health maybe you should allocate a half hour or an hour a day or every other day to look at your accounts, record your spends and update your diary here. For the rest of the day don't look at it and that might help with your anxiety. Constantly juggling money rarely helps you actually reduce the debt anyway. Do your big finances once a week re planning, meal planning, shopping lists.

    Maybe go out walking more often or go to the park with your kids (maybe not the 16 year old :rotfl:) as endorphins help keep us happy. Do you have a dog or cat? Pets are great company and again help relieve anxiety - don't get one if you do not already have one as they are also financially draining but if you do then spend some time with them everyday. You need to give at least as much time to looking after yourself and your family as you do with your finances.

    For your sanity I think you should set yourself small targets each week. Like maybe 2 NSDs and withdrawing cash for groceries and keeping within budget.
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  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794
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    Morning debtaghh,

    Hope you're feeling a bit brighter this morning? I echo everyone else comments about the meds, if needed you've at least got to try them :)

    Well done on the money coming back, that's a great result.

    Have a lovely day xx
    For your mental health maybe you should allocate a half hour or an hour a day or every other day to look at your accounts, record your spends and update your diary here. For the rest of the day don't look at it and that might help with your anxiety. Constantly juggling money rarely helps you actually reduce the debt anyway. Do your big finances once a week re planning, meal planning, shopping lists.

    Maybe go out walking more often or go to the park with your kids (maybe not the 16 year old :rotfl:) as endorphins help keep us happy. Do you have a dog or cat? Pets are great company and again help relieve anxiety - don't get one if you do not already have one as they are also financially draining but if you do then spend some time with them everyday. You need to give at least as much time to looking after yourself and your family as you do with your finances.

    For your sanity I think you should set yourself small targets each week. Like maybe 2 NSDs and withdrawing cash for groceries and keeping within budget.

    Thanks. I’m feeling a bit more positive today.

    I already walk a lot ( between 15000 and 20000 steps a day) surprisingly my dd1 does like walking with me. I do need to have more of a routine with when to do my meal plans and finances.
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794
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    Morning,

    Dh has been officially paid today therefore I will make all minimum payments and update my signature , I have been making payments over the last week with some of the savings so am hoping to have cleared well over £1k.

    Today I need to:

    Sort the finances out
    Hoover
    Do the washing
    Go for a run
    Meal plan- as my fussy eater will be away next week, I’m hoping to do lots of cheap meals and manage my food shop for £35 at the most.
    Take dd to hospital appt
    Help dd1 pack for her sch trip
    Post items and work out profit ( not a lot)
    Cash money out and allocate to envelopes ( I’m wondering if I should do this for Xmas money as well that way I can’t go over budget?)
    Start medication

    Have a lovely day everyone.
  • Yay to pay day :)

    Have a lovely day today x
  • debtaghh
    debtaghh Posts: 1,794
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    Just made payments and updated signature , have cleared over 2k between savings and pay. Would love to get cc debt under 45k by the end of the year but that would wipe a lot of savings plus more!
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