Forced parenthood

DarkShadow
DarkShadow Posts: 180 Forumite
in Marriage, relationships & families
How do you define forced parenthood in your own terms?
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Comments

  • Alikay
    Alikay Posts: 5,147 Forumite
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    Being raped and forced to go through with a resulting pregnancy for a female, being raped or sexually assaulted for sperm collection for a male. Oh, and medical procedures resulting in unwanted impregnation or sperm collection. Anything involving consensual sex carries a risk of pregnancy and/or parenthood IMO.

    I guess stealing a semen-filled condom and using the contents could also result in forced parenthood, but it fairly unlikely (think I've read about something like that in Take A Break though!), as would stealing and using a sperm sample given for medical/DNA testing. Why?
  • jamiehelsinki
    jamiehelsinki Posts: 222 Forumite
    When they say they are on the pill etc but not taking it.
  • Alikay
    Alikay Posts: 5,147 Forumite
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    jamiehelsinki wrote: »
    When they say they are on the pill etc but not taking it.

    That's no different from a man saying he's had a vasectomy when he hasn't: A massive breach of trust and totally unacceptable, of course but not really "forced parenthood" as we all know that contraception can fail, and take that chance when we choose to have sex. If both partners take responsibility for their own fertility and both use contraception, the chance is minimised though theoretically still possible.
  • barbarawright
    barbarawright Posts: 1,846 Forumite
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    Why are you asking these odd questions?
  • pinkshoes
    pinkshoes Posts: 20,082 Forumite
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    What an odd question!

    As no contraception method is 100% reliable then the only method of forced parenthood would be through rape.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,323 Forumite
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    jamiehelsinki wrote: »
    When they say they are on the pill etc but not taking it.
    Some silly woman tried doing this to a friend of mine. He was mid forties, 3 kids, just divorced, had had a vasectomy. Met her through a dating site, she was mid twenties (!).

    First date he thought was awkward and wouldn't go anywhere but she invited him back to hers for a coffee and they ended up in the bedroom. He'd come prepared and got his packet of condoms out and said something like "don't want to get you pregnant" (rather than "don't want to catch anything" which he thought would have killed the mood!)

    But she said "no need, I'm on the pill". So having already said he'd got the condoms out to protect against pregnancy he couldn't really now give the real reason he wanted to use one. Plus his brains were likely well in his pants at that stage!

    They carried on seeing each other for a few weeks, he thought she was a bit weird, she never introduced him to her friends or family, didn't want to meet his, he thought their dates were strained, there didn't seem to be a spark. But she was very keen on sex so that suited him at the time. He also enjoyed rubbing his ex's nose in it and arranged "accidental" bumping into the ex when on dates with a much younger prettier woman ;)

    Once when she was in the shower he decided to have a look at her phone, it was locked but he'd seen her code, as he knew hardly anything about her, she seemed very secretive, and found this long conversation with a friend in which is was obvious she was trying to get pregnant!

    He carried on seeing her for a while for obvious reasons, even though it was now blatently obvious to him she only wanted him to get her pregnant, she wasn't interested in anything else. He has a very well paid job which might have had something to do with it!

    Eventually he decided he needed to try meeting someone genuine, so he ditched her. He never told her about the vasectomy - I really wanted him to tell her as he ditched her but he chickened out!
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 14,498 Forumite
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    Got an essay to write?
    Shampoo? No thanks, I'll have real poo...
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
    zagfles wrote: »
    But she said "no need, I'm on the pill". So having already said he'd got the condoms out to protect against pregnancy he couldn't really now give the real reason he wanted to use one.

    What an idiot! What kind of grown adult doesn't use a condom for such a stupid reason?
  • Fireflyaway
    Fireflyaway Posts: 2,766 Forumite
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    I'd say rape then forcing the woman to keep the baby or if someone says they are using contraception but are not - however in the last case that's questionable! Its every persons responsibility to protect themselves. Could be complicated if its a trusted long term relationship and the woman stopped contraception without saying....
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,323 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    What an idiot! What kind of grown adult doesn't use a condom for such a stupid reason?
    Pretty much what I told him when he told me the story! But not as big an idiot as the woman of course!
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