Both working - fairest way to split the finances.

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  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882
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    edited 10 March 2017 at 11:23AM
    clint_S wrote: »
    How does splitting your finances help to get a bit more of a grip on them?


    exactly.

    you are starting from the wrong point and carrying on as normal make it up as you go along and hope you don't run out.

    not worked you have £9k of debt.


    Start proper budgeting with a full plan of where you income will be going.


    Start with a 12 month period say April 17 to March 18 or any other 12months that fits. you could do Jan-dec and use the real data from Jan-March to kick start the plan.

    have some longer term goals that cover the next 5 years in mind as well.

    Do a budget for the year and work out how much "me money" you can each have from your pot after all the agreed joint plans are in place.

    if you don't want to use a full budgeting tool you could start with the SOA format or develop a spread sheet.

    http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php
    (add your own categories if they are not there)


    Where the money is does not matter when you have a plan(budget) of what you will be spending/saving as long as you keep track and adapt the plan when it goes wrong.

    edit 1:
    A category can me X's money(with a list of things it pays for that does not come from anywhere else)

    edit 2 : SPENDING DIARY without one you will fall off the wagon whatever you decide to do.
  • onlyroz
    onlyroz Posts: 17,661
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    I don't see how doing this will change your financial habits. If money is wasted on lunches then make packed lunches. Having a separate account won't stop this from happening.
  • Scorpio33
    Scorpio33 Posts: 745
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    onlyroz wrote: »
    I don't see how doing this will change your financial habits. If money is wasted on lunches then make packed lunches. Having a separate account won't stop this from happening.

    But if he doesn't have any money in his account to spend, then he can't spend it?

    He would realise how quickly he runs out of money and give him a nudge.

    Also, it would mean that his spending habits won't impact on her money, she will still have her own money to spare.
  • ratrace
    ratrace Posts: 1,009
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    Its about one's mindset that needs to change

    Ive gone from spending money like its water, to taking 5 mins to decide if i want to spend £5 on a burger and chips lol

    Most of the budget apps etc.. are really based on finances as a household not his and hers money, it can be very hard if one person is a spender and the other one is more savvy

    op, you need to work out a plan that works for you
    People are caught up in an egotistic artificial rat race to display a false image to society. We want the biggest house, fanciest car, and we don't mind paying the sky high mortgage to put up that show. We sacrifice our biggest assets our health and time, We feel happy when we see people look up to us and see how successful we are”

    Rat Race
  • clint_S
    clint_S Posts: 366 Forumite
    Scorpio33 wrote: »
    But if he doesn't have any money in his account to spend, then he can't spend it?

    He would realise how quickly he runs out of money and give him a nudge.

    Also, it would mean that his spending habits won't impact on her money, she will still have her own money to spare.


    Overdraft? Credit cards? payday loans? Surely this will simply allow him to hide his spending problems easier.


    It will impact on her when she has to bail him out of high interest rate loans he can't afford and he has a credit rating shot to pieces through not paying bills.
  • Kayalana99
    Kayalana99 Posts: 3,626
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    clint_S wrote: »
    I would have thought allowing the person who was rubbish at finances the ability to dig themselves a deep hole with no checks and balances would have made the situation worse.


    Each to there own I suppose and this really is a trust issue, I know I wouldn't have trusted myself to keep out of debt before I met my wife. My wife is very prudent with money, I on the other hand lived via credit cards and overdraft, often paying bills late. On getting Married we combined our money, and her constant questioning of why I was doing stupid things with money and making sure bills were paid on time means we not only do we have savings and good credit ratings but I'm much better with money.

    I agree and disagree at the same time. Just because something worked one way for you, doesn't mean it will work one way for another. You can only do what is best for you as a couple.

    My Husband has come on leaps and bounds since he met me, he often takes me back when he suggests we do this to save costs because 'what's the point', but despite having access, he has no idea how much goes out our main account and perhaps a vague idea what is in our savings account because I tell him now and again. He just has no interest or desire other then to spend money. :D

    It's just how he has been brought up I'm afaird and yes he can change, but he doesn't really have much interest too. (although coming around to my way of thinking at least)

    We have all the money paid into the joint account, and we have two current accounts that have X amount paid in (and yes he has managed to use the overdraft on his account that isn't there but hey ho... :o ) but it works for us as we both have our own spending money.

    It's as someone said above, if your Husband is spending X on things you think are a waste of money or you spend Y amount on some other hobby that he thinks is a waste of money it can cause distress...so having those separate accounts gives you the freedom knowing that bills are paid, you've had some savings that month for holidays etc

    I know it works for some to have separate accounts, but I'm on the thought if you are married and live together everything should be joint. I don't disagree with people who keep money separate, but I think it's just fairer.
    People don't know what they want until you show them.
  • clint_S
    clint_S Posts: 366 Forumite
    Kayalana99 wrote: »
    I agree and disagree at the same time. Just because something worked one way for you, doesn't mean it will work one way for another. You can only do what is best for you as a couple.

    My Husband has come on leaps and bounds since he met me, he often takes me back when he suggests we do this to save costs because 'what's the point', but despite having access, he has no idea how much goes out our main account and perhaps a vague idea what is in our savings account because I tell him now and again. He just has no interest or desire other then to spend money. :D

    It's just how he has been brought up I'm afaird and yes he can change, but he doesn't really have much interest too. (although coming around to my way of thinking at least)

    We have all the money paid into the joint account, and we have two current accounts that have X amount paid in (and yes he has managed to use the overdraft on his account that isn't there but hey ho... :o ) but it works for us as we both have our own spending money.

    It's as someone said above, if your Husband is spending X on things you think are a waste of money or you spend Y amount on some other hobby that he thinks is a waste of money it can cause distress...so having those separate accounts gives you the freedom knowing that bills are paid, you've had some savings that month for holidays etc

    I know it works for some to have separate accounts, but I'm on the thought if you are married and live together everything should be joint. I don't disagree with people who keep money separate, but I think it's just fairer.
    I agree that each person is different. It's just my opinion that if someone is bad with money splitting finances increases the risk of things getting worse. It's completely a trust issue and knowing each other.
  • maman
    maman Posts: 28,493
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    I definitely agree that you should have your own money for personal spending OP. You've waited long enough! So, your OH needs to open a bank account of his own and you each agree an amount per month to put in there.

    clint_S wrote: »
    How does splitting your finances help to get a bit more of a grip on them?


    This is the bit that worries me. Do you plan to 'control' the joint account that has all the money but the personal spends in it? If it's your existing joint account is your OH likely to spend from there if his own money runs out? Not sure how you got into debt/why you need to get a grip but is OH likely to run up debt if his money runs out?


    For transparency I think that all the salaries should be paid into the joint/household account and then identical DDs set up to transfer your spending money to your personal accounts.


    If it feels tidier to you then you could set up savings pots for holidays etc but at the moment I think I'd work on clearing the debt.
  • Happier_Me
    Happier_Me Posts: 563 Forumite
    I would keep the joint account, have all wages and bills paid from this, set an amount for debt repayment and an emergency fund if you don't have one and then transfer an agreed amount into a seperate account each for personal spends. When the money's gone it's gone.

    It is difficult when one half of a couple is more likely to fritter money away than the other. We're both capable of doing this but I'm more likely to be the one that takes steps to put a stop to it. We do not have our own money but DH's spending from the current account was getting completely out of hand before Christmas. Gregg's everyday, two to three trips to the shops for rubbish. I had no idea where I was in terms of budgeting. His attitude to money was rubbing off on me too - why shouldn't I take the kids to Macdonald's when he's wasting all this money!

    He's now getting £30 a week in cash, debit card is banned. This is for lunches, badminton and anything else he needs. I take £10 with me but rarely spend. For us it not about having the same amount of money, but having enough to suit our needs within reason. And he's being far more sensible now he can see spending real money. We're not big spenders when it comes to haircuts, clothes etc so this would come from the joint account.
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,367
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    Anyway.. we are both about to start full-time work. My husband should be starting in 2 weeks and I am starting at the end of April.
    So does this mean that he will be able to continue to spend the same and you more? Or you more than before but him less?
    Plus I want to get a savings account started and get a holiday booked.
    That's what you want, but is it what he wants? This is something you both need to agree together, not him having to change his ways because it is what you want now.
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