The Simple Bare Necessities feat. Gratitude & Recipes

I was stressed until yesterday. I had designated it as 'the' shopping day and anything that did not get bought was unnecessary. Include last minute visits to mum and other people. Do not have to be anywhere until next Thursday and am planning to sleep for as long as I want (mum gave me the bug that everyone has had and 11 weeks on, it's refusing to leave, had blood tests and more last week). Feeling a smidgen of guilt for not being elbow deep in a turkey that refuses to defrost or wrapping things they don't need for people who have too much but resisting.

You are entitled to spend Christmas/ Winter Solstice/ break from work however you want and create your own traditions. Forget the nostalgia for Christmas past. I read a wonderful book (Virago book of Christmas stories) a few years ago). One of the stories was about how the commercialisation of christmas had spoiled things - it was written in 1958. Like the ancient Romans complaining about graffitti and the appalling behaviour of young people, it's always been there.

Don't be sucked in by other people's notions of how things should be. I remember my partner stressing before DS1 was born. One of his co-workers was talking about their 6yo having rejected the first stereo they had bought for her bedroom. Stupid people were so impressed by her 'discernment' that they bought another more expensive one. I insisted firmly that our children would have lots of books and lego and all their friends would want to come here, which turned out to be largly true. Friends with big houses and large gardens loved that I let them play on the car park once the cars had gone home and we had the only bedroom big enough to play knee rugby in (I knocked down the wall between the large bedroom and the landing to accommodate 3 growing boys).

DS1's toys were kept in a bucket before his first Christmas. I needed a log basket afterwards. Plastic carp can have it's place - we had loads of St*r W*rs figures (bought second hand for 50p each, during the break in popularity) which are good for free play (making up and acting out stories about the characters) for 6yo up to mid teens (maybe in secret). I also remember writing to my cousin saying we had started out with environmentally friendly wooden toys and sometimes I was grateful for cheap plastic carp which could be binned once stood on.


Recommended - Push along and pull along toys (to help with starting to walk, then walking independently). Fisher Prix activity set (ours cost £1 from the charity shop) and the aeroplane with plastic figures (think they were more like eggs/ weebles) all gave years of pleasure. Briooh railway and tool sets could be added to bit by bit (ELC and some bargain shops do cheaper versions).

You do have to be firm with relatives. My own particular bug bear was the giant soft toy (made partner have the talk with his parents, the worst offenders, well in advance of DS2's birth). Within weeks of his birth they gave DS1 a navy blue and fawn 'bear', huge, ugly and slightly misshapen (probably a bingo win or the accumulation of wins). Absolutely useless. The thing was to big to play with, hold or carry (for years), too big to put in his cot without fear of it suffocating him or giving him nightmares. It just took up space.

I did get my (Christmas) revenge several years later. It had started to develop a few holes (probably from being lugged from one corner to the other or stuffed under the bed to get it out of the way) and I let them destroy it by jumping on it and then pulling the (shredded cellophane) stuffing out. This gave me enough time to go upstairs and check on all the stocking fillers. The front room was a mess but I soon swept it up and the bear got a handle on his neck and was hung on the bedroom door as a holder for other toys.

Invest or read a copy of the 'Good Toy Guide' (an old one from the library will work as it doesn't change much from year to year - because what children need for playing/ development doesn't. You could try sourcing environmentally friendly hand crafted toys, stressing quality and longevity (heirloom even) for them to compete over. DS3 loved the marble run I bought for him - mum and her partner had already vsited a child of similar age who was bored even though he had far more new toys, I hadn't even managed to get DS3 to stop for long enough to get him out of his sleep suit. There is a wooden (very expensive) version.

If people don't respond to hints, set absolute rules.

Wishing all pilgrims a happy Christmas/ Winter Sostice/ time off work/ with loved ones however you choose to celebrate (or not). If you have children I hope they love what they get, let you sleep between Father Christmas's visit and them waking and that none of you are ill. If you are alone, I hope it is by choice and if it the anniversary of a bereavement or you are missing someone who is no longer in your life, take time to remember them as appropriate. Joy, peace, health and happiness to you all.

Morning :hello:

Thank you - I shall indeed start the day as I mean to go on Just as soon as I've persuaded myself out of bed My dressing gown fell off the bed in the night (it's a ten foot drop :eek: ) so I have to work up to getting out from under the quilt without it (we don't have a timer on the central heating so it's a bit chilly) :rotfl:

Beautifully written mothernerd We don't have children (and I'm getting quite bored of people - random acquaintances, taxi drivers etc - asking me whether I plan to :eek: ) but I'm trying to be mindful of getting presents that won't just end up as clutter for anyone, not just children, although I don't always manage it Will try harder next year, as you say it's not a moveable feast!

Although actually, for a few years we did kind of move it Mr Cheery and I spent several years going on holiday over Christmas and new year and just visiting family whe we came back Not sure they liked it but they got used to it we never go on Christmas day now, just stay at home just the two of us I have no idea when I made it complicated but I shall certainly try to uncomplicate it from now on!

Right, enjoy your day Greying and chums! I don't really do traditions as such but I do like to watch The Snowman on Christmas eve before beď so I'm looking forward to that later

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Aw, Merry Christmas lovely lass, what an eventful year you've had! So glad you've found some lovely people too Ever so grateful for you sharing bits of your life with us each day, brightens my world and I'm sure others would say the same.

Much love, do let us know about your excursion