Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help my smoker partner save money on cigarettes?
Comments
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Little things that irk can often fester and become much bigger things, so I suggest you explain your feelings about the unnecessary extra expense he is incurring by overpaying. However, if, after said discussion, he finds his current source more convenient - and if it is not affecting you adversely financially - then I think you must respect his decision regarding his buying preferences.
Of course, the affect on his health - and possibly yours - is a whole other debate that is probably irking you a whole lot more.
As an ex smoker, I can only say that I had a very understanding partner who did not pressure me and understood my dependence on what I knew to be an extremely unhealthy 'drug'. Your partner is fully aware of the risks and dangers - he is also addicted. When he comes to terms with how much that addiction dominates his life, I am confident that he will do his best to overcome it. In the meantime please try to stop fretting over the additional cost of where he chooses to buy his supplies.0 -
Why are you not trying to help him stop smoking rather than moaning about the cost.You say that you don't like him smoking about 20 a day so start concentrating on getting him to quit,tell him about how he smells and it's making you feel ill.When you smoke it affects everyone around you,highlight all the negative things.Don't buy them as he will see it as your way of condoning what he's doing.
In 95 i decided to give up after more than 20 years of smoking around 4 packs a week,kicking the habit is never easy.How i did it could help you.Everytime i bought a pack i would write the date on it,then as i made them last longer i would put the money saved on a shelf.The visual incentive of both of these helped me kick the habit,by 97 i was free and a lot richer.Once i saw the money adding up i was determined to win and i bet he will as well,give it a go.One more thing to help would be to stay away from people who smoke.Good luck.0 -
I would let him know where he can buy them cheaper HIMSELF! I certainly wouldn't go and get them for him.0
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Billy_Bonkers wrote: »Personally I wouldn't take up with a smoking partner. Health, smell & money issues. Don't some smokers have legs amputated?
A packet of 20 a day it seems would be around £250 a month. Wow, wish I could afford such luxuries. At the end of a year a saving of £3,000 if he packed in. A nice holiday or newer car. Buy him an e-cig for Xmas.
...don't wait for Xmas, buy now if he won't stop.
I recommend trying something new (preferably a healthy something) every day, or as often as possible. The slight change makes way for more drastic change when needed.0 -
Perfect opportunity for quitting coming up - Stoptober! It's bad for your health as well as his that he smokes, chemicals stay on the clothes for hours after a cigarette has been smoked, and if he smokes indoors fabrics like your curtains and settees will also hold onto the chemicals. Calculate how much he spends on cigs annually and tell him you are going to spend the same on something you like, might make him rethink his selfish and unhealthy habit.0
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I can't post a link but search for:
smoking risks black lung video
and look for huffingtonpost video
nuff said!0 -
If you live together, surely it benefits you to get them cheaper because it would mean more cash in your household. More money to be spent on taking you out and treating you !!!0
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As you use the word partner, I assume you live together, and I hope you wouldn't be living together unless you are in a long-term committed relationship. Therefore you are entitled to at least comment about every penny that leaves the house, just as he is. But be prepared to have to justify what you spend on chocolate, booze, or something that YOU may think is not as harmful as smoking, but someone outside the relationship would. Justified or not, I predict that this would be the direction the conversation would take. If you do spend too much on something like that, you can both commit to doing something about your habits as a couple, or if you don't then try to get him to do something about it but only with offers of help from you. Feel free to use emotional blackmail (do you know anyone who has suffered the long-term effects of years of smoking, it ain't pretty for them or their family), or if you're thinking about children, tell him that smoking could affect both the chances of you getting pregnant and the health of your child. Yes, it's as true for smoking dads as it is for smoking mums0
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Isnt it funny how people on this thread are upset at the thought of the partner doing something that they don't like (smoking) cries of dump him, tell him he has to stop, tell him it is disgusting and you cannot live with it.
No one has asked if the boyfriend actually wants to stop, if he does not, then the nagging will only annoy him and make him dig his heels in.
He is a grown adult and as such is allowed to do exactly as he pleases, whether the girlfriend likes it or not is not really the question.
Should she source cheaper cigs for him, if she wants to then carry on, if not, then no is the easiest answer to the dilemma.
The question was not how to make him stop, how to kick him out, or any other things mentioned, there is such a thing as free will.
If he decides to stop smoking, it certainly won't be because she is nagging him I can be sure of that.
Been here for a long time and don't often post0 -
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