Executrix woes
Comments
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You mention you "could not trust your sister to act as executor after her actions", so was she appointed executor in the will? It does sound as though the only beneficiary of this will is the solicitor.0
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Maybe that's a response to my suggestion that she asked the sister to help her get probate, in order to a) defuse the situation and b) save on the quite pointless fees of two solicitors.monkeyspanner wrote: »You mention you "could not trust your sister to act as executor after her actions", so was she appointed executor in the will? It does sound as though the only beneficiary of this will is the solicitor.
I still think some negotiation should be possible to prevent the whole estate going up in smoke, even at the expense of abandoning any claims to the items that were taken from the home. They may have had sentimental value, but were they worth more than the whole estate?0 -
Yes Biggles, my response was to your suggestion. I am sole executor.
Having now spoken to my solicitor it looks like my rights here are non existent. My sister has lied about what she has taken but because I can't prove it she can keep what she took. And she does not have to give me any photos unless she wants to as they have no monetary value.
Wish i'd changed the locks sooner but unlike my sibling, my immediate thoughts on hearing that my mother had passed away were not to grab wahatever I could get my grubby hands on. Shouldn't have trusted my sister either0 -
I am really sorry that you have fallen out with your sister to this extent. I guess you'll just have to offer to pay to have the photos copied. Maybe that'll cost £50-100. That's going to be an awful lot cheaper than getting into a legal fight about any of this stuff.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0
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I am really sorry that you have fallen out with your sister to this extent. I guess you'll just have to offer to pay to have the photos copied. Maybe that'll cost £50-100. That's going to be an awful lot cheaper than getting into a legal fight about any of this stuff.
If she's really mercenary, this might work.
You can also point out - but not in writing - that you are so upset about losing all the family photos, etc, that you will struggle to get the probate work done and it might be ages before she gets anything else from the estate.0 -
Just an update for those who kindly offered me advice.
My sister is now denying that anything was taken from the house. I am not able to prove otherwise. Any photos of my mother wearing jewellery are in my sister's possession. I have asked politely for copies of photos, offering to pay for them to be done and offering to do them myself but have been refused. Although my sister is now saying that my mother threw most the photos which contained me away. This is, of course, a lie. My mother and I had a close relationship and a mother does not throw photos of her child away, no matter how old they are.
My solicitor tells me that as a beneficiary of the estate, she is entitled to have whatever she wants and there is nothing I can do about it. I guess I just have to get on with it. I'll have a house to sell soon and i'm sure there will be a lot of hassle coming from my sister when it comes to that.0 -
It's a shame, really, isn't it. As executor, you can just get on with the house sale as you think best, largely ignoring your sister's complaints. You should get a book out of the library about what to do, and of course you should take legal advice so you're 100% bulletproof - the cost coming out of the estate.
In practice, though it would probably be very nice to get back at your sister, it's far better to avoid any disputes as you could end up spending both your inheritances on legal fees if you go at it hammer and tongs. So, consult her about what she thinks should be done, and if your solicitor agrees and you're happy, do what she wants. Just bite your tongue if you have to.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
Just an update for those who kindly offered me advice.
My sister is now denying that anything was taken from the house. I am not able to prove otherwise. Any photos of my mother wearing jewellery are in my sister's possession. I have asked politely for copies of photos, offering to pay for them to be done and offering to do them myself but have been refused. Although my sister is now saying that my mother threw most the photos which contained me away. This is, of course, a lie. My mother and I had a close relationship and a mother does not throw photos of her child away, no matter how old they are.
My solicitor tells me that as a beneficiary of the estate, she is entitled to have whatever she wants and there is nothing I can do about it. I guess I just have to get on with it. I'll have a house to sell soon and i'm sure there will be a lot of hassle coming from my sister when it comes to that.
Make sure you get full reimbursement for your expenses as executor and keep the receipts for any expenditure in case of disputes.0 -
Just an update for those who kindly offered me advice.
My sister is now denying that anything was taken from the house. I am not able to prove otherwise. Any photos of my mother wearing jewellery are in my sister's possession. I have asked politely for copies of photos, offering to pay for them to be done and offering to do them myself but have been refused. Although my sister is now saying that my mother threw most the photos which contained me away. This is, of course, a lie. My mother and I had a close relationship and a mother does not throw photos of her child away, no matter how old they are.
My solicitor tells me that as a beneficiary of the estate, she is entitled to have whatever she wants and there is nothing I can do about it. I guess I just have to get on with it. I'll have a house to sell soon and i'm sure there will be a lot of hassle coming from my sister when it comes to that.
This isn't right. As one of the beneficiaries of the estate, she is entitled to what has been given to her in the will, once everything is settled.
You, as the executor, have complete control over the estate until everything is settled. No-one can inherit anything until all the paperwork has been finished.
I wonder if the solicitor has said this just because he/she realises that you can't really force your sister to return items if she continues to deny that she took them.
It's a horrible situation for you and you'll probably have to keep the moral high ground and do everything by the book and hope your sister has a change of heart at some time in the future.
As moneyspanner says, make sure you are reimbursed from the estate for everything you spend.0 -
Having a real fall out with your sister will only add to your stress, JBC45.
Just ensure you claim for all your expenses. Another point to consider, before clearing my parents' house, I suggested to my sisters that each takes back anything that they had bought for them.Member #14 of SKI-ers club
Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.
(Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)0
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