Elite 11+ shopping and chat thread
Comments
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Enterprise_1701C wrote: »I think you need to sit down and get some agreements into place. If you are really on such good terms then he must realise how much you have put into the house. Sounds like he has stopped drinking? If that is the case then he must have some idea of how much damage that did, surely he would agree to a different split.
It is really hard to find the balance, and you perhaps risk souring relations in trying to get that which is fairly yours.
I only wish we would have a chance of getting anything for 80 grand round here :eek:
He stopped drinking 8 years ago when I asked him to leave. He has not touched a drop since and his life is infinitely better. He has rebuilt his relationships with both of her children and DD ( who hated what drink did to him and our family ) is on really good terms with him and they spend a lot of time together. DS lives in London and is not quite there with his Dad. He loves him but its me he speak to every day and not to his Dad so much. He drinks himself ( although I try not to worry about that ) but is very tightly wound and if he calls home and all is not well he cant accept it. He wants life to be perfect as it was so bad when they were children. DD went through therapy when she attempted suicide in 2013 and is much more able to deal with lifes up and downs. However DS has a lovely wife and lovely baby and is doing really well in his job.
His Dad just died and his Mum is not good so at some point he will get a payout from their estate that might help. I dont think he expects 50% of the money but maybe we can discuss it. He is bad with money ( although a lot better since he has been on his own ) and if I said house sold for £240000.00 and here is your share £5000.00 he wouldnt realise that wasnt half!!0 -
I was interested in this conversation about decluttering and downsizing. I am still living in our 3 bed semi on my own and would love to move to something smaller but it really needs clearing out 1st.
DD has a new baby as does DS and yesterday when I was out shoppign with DD she asked me when I retire, I said not till NOV 2019 ( I am 62 ) and would it not for the changes to women's retirement age I would be retired now. Problem is if house is sold OH will expect half and he has a fairly good pension from Royal Mail and even though we are not divorced I feel that should be taken into the equation if we sell. I have spent the last 8 years paying off the mortgage ( from about 78000 down to 35000 ) and also think that should figure in any split.
What do others think ?
Rose,
I'm a lurker here but would like to respond.
I think without involving solicitors and divorces the fair thing would be to get a value for the house when your OH left by looking at house prices of similar houses at that time. Then deduct the mortgage at that time and what is left is the equity. He should get half of that equity. The rest should be yours. There are plenty of sites give sold house prices, so you should manage to find something comparable.
Hope that helps.0 -
Barley sugar...I very much agree that things should be on the retrospective valuations...although I have to say I really do think a solicitor will be advisable if only to prove that both parties took appropriate advice and consideration with the figures involved.
At a later stage it then cant be suggested that one or the other overinfluenced eachother into giving away a larger share.
Both need to protect themselves...what may seem an amicable split of funds now may be unrealistic in 15 years time and one could go back and claw back an additional lumpsum.....
By signing a declaration in front of a solicitor it may also prevent any claim a future partner may have on a an asset jointly owned by a previous couple...I'm getting a bit deep into assumptions now but sometimes you need to cover all bases.
I've seen it happen sadly.frugal October...£41.82 of £40 food shopping spend for the 2 of us!
2017 toiletries challenge 179 out 145 in ...£18.64 spend0 -
BarleySugar wrote: »Rose,
I'm a lurker here but would like to respond.
I think without involving solicitors and divorces the fair thing would be to get a value for the house when your OH left by looking at house prices of similar houses at that time. Then deduct the mortgage at that time and what is left is the equity. He should get half of that equity. The rest should be yours. There are plenty of sites give sold house prices, so you should manage to find something comparable.
Hope that helps.
Just done a quick calculation and if we did it on that basis then split would be £52500.00 to him and 127500.00 to me provided we got £210000 for the property ( although house 2 doors away has just sold for £230000.00) thanks0 -
Barley sugar...I very much agree that things should be on the retrospective valuations...although I have to say I really do think a solicitor will be advisable if only to prove that both parties took appropriate advice and consideration with the figures involved.
At a later stage it then cant be suggested that one or the other overinfluenced eachother into giving away a larger share.
Both need to protect themselves...what may seem an amicable split of funds now may be unrealistic in 15 years time and one could go back and claw back an additional lumpsum.....
By signing a declaration in front of a solicitor it may also prevent any claim a future partner may have on a an asset jointly owned by a previous couple...I'm getting a bit deep into assumptions now but sometimes you need to cover all bases.
I've seen it happen sadly.
Thanks I will talk to him later about the way to proceed.0 -
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If you have a local streetlife group try putting a message up on there - or freecycle.
a branch on our plum tree broke in a storm one year so I put a message on Freecycle and some lovely people came and collected the plums off the broken branch so we could clear the various branches off the lawn
Mostly I pick a bag in readiness for anyone that responds on Freecyle - I just had a rhubarb glut so I put a message on Streetlife and I had enough for 4 people to collect
Does anyone use Olio, the food sharing app? Think it's quite new and I couldn't find much near to me but I might offer my surplus courgettes and broad beans and see how it goes.....
http://olioex.com0 -
Washing out on this blustery day
I need to cut up the table cloth fabric for Party tomorrow.
I purchased a roll of Disney Princesses PVC fabric off FB.
Tonight we get in to the function room & we can work out how tables are going to be.
I want to get as many cloths as I can from fabric.
I need 90cm for single tables but if 2 tables are put together 1 only need to cut 150cm. Saving 30cm which will go towards another cloth...
Complicated
Our Family Motto ~If all else fails - read the instructions...
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I've been aware and involved with this one since the very beginning.....:)Does anyone use Olio, the food sharing app? Think it's quite new and I couldn't find much near to me but I might offer my surplus courgettes and broad beans and see how it goes.....
http://olioex.comfrugal October...£41.82 of £40 food shopping spend for the 2 of us!
2017 toiletries challenge 179 out 145 in ...£18.64 spend0 -
Does anyone use Olio, the food sharing app? Think it's quite new and I couldn't find much near to me but I might offer my surplus courgettes and broad beans and see how it goes.....
http://olioex.comI've been aware and involved with this one since the very beginning.....:)
Do you find it easier to use than Freecycle and do the people tend to be reliable? Do you use the 'Dropbox' thingy system? It sounds a great idea as my Freecycle peeps are a bit sniffy about posting garden produce!0
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