Do cats become friendlier?

We have had Arthur 12 weeks now and he's still as standoffish as ever

He's 6 months old now and he will still scrab me out of the blue. Last night for example he was perched on the back of the sofa behind my head which is his preferred spot, when out comes the paw and claws and he's attached to my ear drawing blood

Earlier in the week he was sat beside me, I wasn't bothering him at all, when he decided my arm was for attacking and he looped himself around my arm and sunk all claws in me :( That seriously hurt and bled pretty heavily

Is this normal? Or does he just not like me :rotfl: Seriously he's not being pulled around or forced to get cuddles and strokes, we leave him to do his own thing, I only lift him off the work tops and table when he's on them ( sorry but I can't abide cats walking over work tops). Is this just him being young? It's only me and DH he does it too. Grandchildren, even when the toddler is carrying him around like a doll, he's never scrabbed
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  • suki1964 wrote: »
    We have had Arthur 12 weeks now a Seriously he's not being pulled around or forced to get cuddles and strokes, we leave him to do his own thing, I only lift him off the work tops and table when he's on them ( sorry but I can't abide cats walking over work tops). Is this just him being young? It's only me and DH he does it too. Grandchildren, even when the toddler is carrying him around like a doll, he's never scrabbed

    Has he got toys, and do you play with him regularly? Sounds as if he might be a bit bored and wanting attention.
  • no1catman
    no1catman Posts: 2,972
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    If it's only you - then you are doing something different to everybody else!
    Though I grant you it is strange for the cat to spontaneously attack you!
    Don't - stare eye-to-eye at a cat - they see it as threatening.
    Do - give the cat lots of gentle head, and neck rubs - usually gets a purr going. Reward good behaviour with a treat - 'dreamie' - and bad behaviour - I try to use an indoor plant sprayer as a water pistol.

    Had my latest cat from Cat Protection - very nervous at first - at least four before she went out, would hide when any post came, still wary of visitors, but is more secure now. Fortunately it's the previous cat that was more of a fighter!
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  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313
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    Has he got toys, and do you play with him regularly? Sounds as if he might be a bit bored and wanting attention.


    He's got more toys in 12 weeks then my dog ever got in 12 years :)

    DH has even built him a cat tree with toys hanging from it and tunnels and all sorts

    He brings me his toys but as I reach for them, he goes for the kill :)
  • Jojo_the_Tightfisted
    Jojo_the_Tightfisted Posts: 27,228
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    edited 13 February 2017 at 12:48PM
    suki1964 wrote: »
    He's got more toys in 12 weeks then my dog ever got in 12 years :)

    DH has even built him a cat tree with toys hanging from it and tunnels and all sorts

    He brings me his toys but as I reach for them, he goes for the kill :)


    1. Have his bits been removed? If not, they need to be.

    2. He's not learned the finer nuances of keeping the Openers of the Tins happy - it could be that in his head, you two are big enough to have a proper rough & tumble play with. For that, you've got a choice - clearly tell him No and remove him each time he does it, and only permit him to have the kickaroo type toys once a day - or work with what you've got, which is a cat who has understood The Rules of Play With Other People, and create obvious signals to let him know when a proper scrap is acceptable.

    For one of mine, this was putting on a particular pair of gloves or putting my hands under the duvet when making the bed and making a wide sweeping motion - she never raised a claw ever to anybody, but she absolutely adored having the opportunity to grab and claw and bite as hard as she possibly could with no chance of getting through to skin.

    3. You also need to remember that Spring is Coming. Cats are idiots when they sense this, as my stair carpet is finding out this morning. So he might not get it instantly, as he's going to be quite excited about seeing birds, more sunlight, and all the things he hasn't experienced before (watch out for his learning curve with stripey insects - it takes a couple of Springs to remember that Bumblebee queens are not fuzzy flying ping pong balls, but the Wasp Lesson is ordinarily learned the first time), but he is young and daft and, whilst the full on bundles need to stop asap, he's going to be full of the Joys of Spring, so it won't work instantly.

    4. When playing with him normally (ie, not full on), be aware of his excitement levels - watch his body language and if he's showing signs of getting a bit too carried away (eyes like black holes, ears flattened, etc), calm things down immediately. Whiskers swivelling to point straight at you and ears forward are fine, they're showing his interest, but when they start changing to make him less likely to get them bitten in a fight, he's got over excited. Tell him in a soft voice 'that's enough now', stand up and get him a treat. Not Dreamies, though. They're too exciting.

    5. Take it easy with the catnip. He's old enough to go bonkers over it, you don't need him tripping his nut off. Especially as you will smell of it for a good while after touching anything with the stuff inside.

    6. Do you clean surfaces with bleach? Or go swimming regularly? Boy cats lurve bleach, as it reminds them of sexy girl cats. One of mine, soppy as anything, will start trying to use our hands as chew toys if we smell of bleach/the pool. Never hurts, it's quite funny in a way, but the Idiot Cat is (allegedly) a grown up now.

    7. If he can't cope with the wait before pouncing, which means you're probably triggering his killzone reaction when moving his toys (you're moving things within pouncing/his focal distance), try picking them up with one of those litter picker/reacher things, transferring the toys to your hand and then playing with him.

    8. He's only an oversized kitten. He's not learned to hunt, to defend himself, to be a Cat, yet. He's got butterflies, craneflies, birds, spiders, frogs and tons of other innocent beasties to experience [strike]torment[/strike] yet. If he's going to be a cat that goes outside, he'll get a lot of his energy out of the way with those, plus birds (including the big ones), other cats, mice, etc. If he's going to be an indoors resident, you will need to give him more enrichment activities - not just toys, but puzzles, sensations and a nice sunny spot to watch the world go by, preferably more than one, ranging from 2 foot to about 6 foot up.



    I can't be doing with aggressive, scratchy, bitey cats when they don't have a reason for it (ie, being sick, wounded or frightened), so I think I'm probably pretty good at this side of cat herding. The only time I've been on the receiving end of pointy things has been getting bitten when retrieving some plastic out of one cat's throat as she was choking. And I've been headbutted - hard, we were both a bit stunned - a couple of times bending down to put food in bowls just as the Idiot Cat has decided to jump onto the cat counter to demand his food is put in a bowl. (I never claimed he was smart, did I?)




    Summary - he's a boy cat, get his nads chopped off if you haven't already, teach him some manners, don't get him off his wotsits on cat drugs and try and cut him a little bit of slack whilst he is learning.
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  • Logged in specifically to thank Jojo for such a useful post :D
  • Fireflyaway
    Fireflyaway Posts: 2,766
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    Thankfully my cat is very laid back and has never bitten or scratched in the 7 years we have had her. She was rehomed twice and I don't know much of her background. However my neighbours cat will just launch at people for no apparent reason. This cat has all the attention it wants but its own space too and its owners are her experienced, but its just never been friendly. Guess they all have different personalities. Does your cat have it in for you or is it like this with everyone? Maybe its being territorial
  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313
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    The gonads went before we homed him. He's a rescue, found at the side of a busy road :(

    We was in the cattery a while I think. A friend was working at the vets when he was taken in to be done and thought at the time he might have been too young. He does seem very skittish. Like just there I've come home, sat on the loo and he's straight in to see me, but as soon as I put my hand down ( slowly) to him he recoiled

    He's exploring outside He's out there right now killing leaves :)

    His routine is come in in the morning around six and dance up and down me trying to get me up. This is the only time he purrs. When the alarm goes off and he knows I'm up, he will hide behind the bulstrade waiting to attack my ankles as I go down stairs. Then he wraps himself around me purring, tail in the air vibrating away till his food is down for him. As soon as that's in him he disappears to a downstairs bedroom for a snooze

    I usually go back to be for a while when DH leaves for work. If I fall asleep I'll be woken by him bringing his toys onto the bed, but then as I say if I start to play and don't get my hand moved fast enough, he's attached to it.

    Then is a mad wall of death for about an hour or so whilst I'm pottering about. His favourite game is to throw himself around the room very fast so he gains enough speed and height to attach himself to the top half of my body as I pass by lol

    After another sleep and lunch and another sleep, he meanders in and out the garden whilst I'm prepping dinner. He loves to lie on the table and this is the only time he's gentle with me. He loves to lie on any cookbook I have open and he comes up and rubs himself across my face and even gives kisses

    Then he gets bored with that and spends the rest of the time I'm in the kitchen knocking anything light enough down, and skating whatever it is across the floor and under the fridge :rotfl:

    Early evenings we never see him after he's been fed until around 8/9 when he likes to play, but then tries to kill me again.

    He has the run of the house. He has lots of lovely perching places ( Especially the top of the fish tank) , lots of warm snugly places to hide and lots of places to find mischief

    Yet he's only a halfway loving gentle cat when perched up on the table, and I don't like him on the table lol well actually the table is less of a problem to me then the work tops :)


    I'm just new around cats. I just don't understand their behaviour or language
  • We have an 11 month old who exhibits many of the behaviours you describe. They mostly translate to "play with me, pay me attention". Some days she's more demanding than others, some days we have less time to give her the play she needs than others.

    She likes attacking feet, with or without slippers, and trouser bottoms as you walk by. She's also not good a distinguishing where the toy ends and hand begins when excited. We therefore mostly stick to toys on a pole or things you can play fetch with. However, she is very loving and has her calm cuddle times too. It's also definitely play behaviour rather than aggression with her. Sometimes, if she is hurting me, I make a high pitched meep noise and that seems to stop her more so than telling her off.

    It's a big difference than my previous old man, who pretty much just wanted his food and somewhere warm to sleep.
  • My 9ish month old kitten was not at all affectionate when we first got him, he would arch his back away from you if you tried to stroke him and squealed like a pig if you picked him up. He was very playful and would pounce, scratch and bite but had no interest in being stroked or fussed and never sat on anyones lap.
    Once he reached about 6 months old he slowly started to change, he would pounce at me - but land on my lap and happily sit there for a few minutes. He would bite - but then give my hand a little wash. Slowly his playfulness transitioned in to affectionateness and now he's always hurling himself at me demanding fuss, although it does always have to be on his own terms, he doesn't like unsolicited affection.
    I think it was a combination of growing to trust me and his kitten hormones calming down, cats are weird.
  • bertiewhite
    bertiewhite Posts: 1,904
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    I used to have 3 cats - 2 of which were soft as muck and you could do anything with but the 3rd always had a "wild streak" in her. All 3 cats were treated the same.

    To be fair she did like fuss but it was always on her terms and when she'd had enough she'd show you the warning signs before lashing out so I learnt to watch out for the pupils & ears and then leave her alone. She lived to a good age but her temperament never changed.
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