Charging rent for 21 year old

blissfulbabe · 26 October 2006 at 2:42PM

The rule in my house is quite simple - while the kids are in full time education I will support them but when they leave they are expected to contribute to the household. When they are in education any money they earn is theirs but that changes as soon as they drop out!

When my daughter was seventeen (two years ago) she dropped out of college (she was studying Beauty Therapy, even though she hates touching people!). I gave her a month to find full time work and then I started charging £200 pm for board and lodging - out of which I paid for a travel card for her (£170 every three months). Her B&L covered the extra amount of council tax I had to pay and everything else apart from clothes and her mobile phone bill (which is minimal). Since you can't get a room in a shared house for less than £350 pm plus bills in this area she was actually onto a good deal!

That September she returned to college to start her A Levels. She is currently in the process of applying for uni and knows I will support in whatever way I can. She also knows that she can't spend her time sitting on her backside - she's either studying or working. I don't think parents should make a profit from their children but if your child decides to leave full time education they are making the choice to act as an adult and should be treated as such - responsibilities as well as privileges. Both my kids know that I regard education as an investment in their future and that as a parent it is my role to support them but they have to invest by doing the work. If they choose not to stay in education then they need to work full time.

I know two of her friends who dropped out of college at the same time and whoes parents don’t charge them anything – in fact one girl is subsidised quite heavily by her parents. She thanked them last month by presenting them with a £300+ phone bill. Neither girl is working and they are both dabbling with drugs.

My daughter was fiercely resentful that I charged her rent but now says it was the best thing I did for her as it made her feel that she was being treated like an adult and that the choice to go back to college was hers, rather than mine.

It may be tough love – but it worked!

zipman23 · 26 October 2006 at 2:49PM

annie-c wrote:

Hello zipman! This isn't a criticism of you - you seem to have a really nice, respectful arrangement going on in your house, but just a warning - you ARE likely to be in for a shock when you get your own mortgage . At least, I had a bl**dy great shock - at the total cost of mortgage, insurance, utilities, Council Tax, repairs, you name it, I was shocked at the amount I had to pay for it!

Oh yeah I know that. We've already seen a house we like and the mortgage on that over 35 yrs (I think) is £650 a month. Obviously theres more than just a mortgage to pay for but I'm looking forward to it more than worrying about it. Also, we've both put in for promotions at our workplaces which would give us probably an extra £7000 a year between us (before tax, yes, but still more than we had). Thanks anyway.

tamirra_2 · 26 October 2006 at 3:57PM

Hi, i have two teenagers a daughter 19 in January and a son 17, my daughter ears around 450.00 a month, she pays me wait for it............... £10.00 a week and thats all, nothing else i cook her meals do her washing she does her ironing, my son is on a little more and he gives me £15.00 a week as i do his ironing.

hostertlady · 26 October 2006 at 10:57PM

hostertlady wrote:

blimey,, i only started taking keep off my son when he was 18 and he was working when he was 16 ( college and some hours in a supermarket). i wouldn't take any off him cos i wanted him to enjoy his youth and also i felt we had kept him all these years then what's another couple of years..
anyway i always explained to him that when he does eventually move out then most of his money will be used in rent, food etc.. so he does know the score..
i only take £10 off him now as it is.. but reading these reviews i think i need to look at it again, lol.. i do his washing, we got broadband etc, feed him when he is here ( he buys all his own junk food crisps, pop, bics etc).
but i dont mind doing these things for him.. i've always liked being 'wanted and needed'.. maybe i am being soft and when he gets older things will prob change but hey ho............xx

ME AGAIN>>>
after reading these posts i realised that i am doing my son no favours so i sat him down and went through the boards and as a result i had a £15 rise in rent so now £25 a week just like that! x

lil_me · 26 October 2006 at 11:04PM

As soon as I was working I gave my parents 1/3 of whatever take home pay I got, sometimes this was part time, but at one point was earning well over £2000 a month doing 3 jobs and still gave them 1/3. Never did me any harm. Definately prepared me better for independant living than a lot of my friends who paid between nothing and £30 per week max.

Chrysalis · 27 October 2006 at 7:22AM

Addiscomber wrote:

If I recall correctly most people seemed to think that around 20% of take home pay was about right. We are likely to be in this situation next year and I am not looking forward to the discussion. I have been trying to work out what proportion of spending is directly due to to DS being here (food, laundry, share of fuel, telephone), and it seems to me that it is at least £50 per week. I am firmly of the opinion that it does no favours to undercharge as it gives a false sense of reality.

Your last point is right, my first full time job I was earning about £155 a week after tax at 18, I was fresh and had no debts no bills etc. I was also not used to having this type of income, my dad asked me for £30 a week in rent. My mom however is soft and told me to just buy her fags and she would tell my dad its been paid. So this went on for a while until I moved out.

When I moved out a sense of reality hit, just before I moved out I took on about 1200 in debt to pay for driving lessons and tests, I could have paid it off within 3 or 4 months but me having to move was unexpected and I have never recovered since then.

One thing I have realised now I may never have that much free spending money again in my life, living with your parents really is easy the only downside is the lack of space and freedom but having free meals, clothes done, free electric and cheap rent as well as been around family is a nice deal, believe me it gets lonely been on your own as well.

Where my dad went wrong is due to been a bit old fashioned he didnt charge either of my sisters rent, so they both had no motivation to get a job (I was the only one out of 3 of us who had a job at that age) it also gave me the attitude of why should I pay my big sister didnt pay anything.

To add to this tho it can also work the other way, I think my parents regret making me move out before I was ready, it then left me in a situation where I was struggling (I lost my job not long after, did get another but less pay and less stable income) and as a result I could never get ahead on finances and have a social life so I never met anyone since I left home. Both my sisters moved out on their own basis after they met their boyfriends. When my younger sister moved my parents decided to sell up and I had no choice.

Chrysalis · 27 October 2006 at 7:43AM

sahmx5 wrote:

Our 21 year old has moved back in following a 3 year sabattical from the family home. She now pays us £50 which she thinks is v. v. reasonable out of her £200 a week salary. It was a struggle to get her to face up to her debts and move back home to save money. She is now getting back on her feet and is slowly clearing her debts.

As for the £50 we pay for everything apart from her mobile phone bill and her travel to work costs. She doesn't know it but we are saving £25 out of the 50 every week to give her a large financial cushion when she dips her toe in the water again.

Unfortunately she has remembered how wonderful it is to have meals on the table when she comes home from work and ironed clothes in her wardrobe.... I don't see her moving out in a hurry!

Reading this thread and not just your post but I picked your post since she actually moved back in, highlights how important is for family to support each other. I see many people here are showing young adults stay at home until well into their 20s now days and when I got forced out I was told at 20 I was very old to be with my parents, and it certianly makes me feel for those who get forced out between 16 and 18.

susanc05 · 27 October 2006 at 9:25AM

... all very well charging a 'fair' rent to one's kids - and I shall do exactly that as and when the time comes for my two - but no one has mentioned the tax implications of charging rent to family members - surely you must declare this income on your tax return? Unless one is setting up as a business one would not be allowed to deduct expenses from the income (i.e. proportion of electricity, mortgage etc.), which would mean that you would immediately hand over 22% of whatever you had asked for to Messrs. Brown and Co. - or would such income be classed as a 'gift' - in which case, regardless of their income you would be limited to a maximum of £3,000 per year if memory serves on the current allowances.

annie-c · 27 October 2006 at 9:43AM

susanc05 wrote:

... all very well charging a 'fair' rent to one's kids - and I shall do exactly that as and when the time comes for my two - but no one has mentioned the tax implications of charging rent to family members - surely you must declare this income on your tax return? Unless one is setting up as a business one would not be allowed to deduct expenses from the income (i.e. proportion of electricity, mortgage etc.), which would mean that you would immediately hand over 22% of whatever you had asked for to Messrs. Brown and Co. - or would such income be classed as a 'gift' - in which case, regardless of their income you would be limited to a maximum of £3,000 per year if memory serves on the current allowances.

Wouldn't the Rent-a-Room Scheme cover this?
http://www.direct.gov.uk/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/Taxes/TaxOnPropertyAndRentalIncome/TaxOnRentalIncomeArticles/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=4017804&chk=mGasop

susanc05 · 27 October 2006 at 10:03AM

... hmmm may cover it - but (and I haven't read all the links from that page) does mean that one has to register for this scheme or else pay full tax on any income - and of course many parents by the time their offspring are earning will have paid off their mortgage - so allowable expenses against income are few. Also for those who intend to save the 'rent' to give back to the kids when they finally fly the nest - the rules on gifts come into play once again.

Charging rent for 21 year old

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