How to deal with a brother TAKEN over parents finances..

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  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
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    I find it extremely hard to believe that your brother has convinced your parents that they've gone from having 30k debt to 140k debt and convinced them that they've spent this when hes got some of the cards.

    Complex systems? Spreadsheets? A debit on one and a credit on the other?

    The very bottom line is you are expecting people to believe that your mum and dad have been convinced that they've racked up an additional 110k in spending without knowing about it!

    The debits and credits amounts to the paying down the debt and not the actual racking it up so how exactly has your brother managed to convince them that they've spent all this extra money when they actually haven't?

    Your debits and credits only account for what he's saying he's paying off on their behalf. It doesn't account for how he's managed to convince them that they've racked up the debt in the first place.

    So how has he convinced them that they've spent this money in the first place?

    I think if I spent an extra 110 grand I'd actually remember spending it in the first place to actually build the debt to the point its currently at
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
    edited 13 September 2017 at 2:52PM
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    If I took over my mums bank account. Irrespective of whether there were 30 of them or I had spreadsheets I think she would remember racking up 110k of extra debt plus you say they've also handed him 35k.

    Are you seriously saying that your mum can't remember whether she's spent significant sums of cash or if its been your brother. To the tune of 110k? And normally when people do spend money they have something to show for it

    Youve spoken about debits, credits and confusion about how the money has been spent. But youve also said that hes got some of the cards.

    So, how has your brother managed to convince your mother and father that theyve spent all that money when they actually haven't when he's holding some of the cards

    Are you honestly trying to say that your mum cant remember spending an extra 110k that she didnt actually spend and has absolutely zero to show for it?

    Shes confused to that extent that she cant remember spending that large sum of money?

    Spreadsheet and illusion debit and credit doesnt account for how hes managed to spend all that cash in the first place.

    This story has way too many holes in it
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
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    The credit cards must be the priority though I don't see how that much credit can be accrued without credit being declined somewhere even at £20 grand a card which is a high level for the income.

    Completely agree. Also, unless you have a direct debit or a standing order to pay off a min payment at some point you are going to have to see statements to see how much you owe and as such you'll also see how much youve been spending.
  • lincroft1710
    lincroft1710 Posts: 17,643 Forumite
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    edited 13 September 2017 at 3:49PM
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    AndyBSG wrote: »
    I would seriously recommend the OP read through this thread to understand how far this could escalate

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4764044

    You mean this thread could run to 27 pages over 2 years and still no resolution?

    As others have said, it seems difficult to believe that the OP's brother has racked up £140K worth of debt without anything tangible to show for it. Or perhaps he has something tangible, and is hiding it.
    If you are querying your Council Tax band would you please state whether you are in England, Scotland or Wales
  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 10,941 Forumite
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    lincroft1710 wrote: »
    You mean this thread could run to 27 pages over 2 years and still no resolution?

    There was a resolution a few years ago - the OP's father died having never seen the money again. The police did not prosecute due to lack of evidence. There were a few more pages after that as the OP in that thread quite understandably came back for further moral support. I hope no-one minds me describing the facts so bluntly but it seems unlikely the OP in that thread (who has not posted since Jan 2016) will see this.
    As others have said, it seems difficult to believe that the OP's brother has racked up £140K worth of debt without anything tangible to show for it.

    That one's easy - online gambling. The OP was asked that and said he didn't believe so, which is another way of saying he doesn't know.
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
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    But that still doesn't account for the brother trying to convince the parents that they've spent some of this. How can you be conned into believing you've spent 140k when you haven't?
  • Rags2riches
    Rags2riches Posts: 42 Forumite
    edited 13 September 2017 at 11:28PM
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    Malthusian wrote: »
    There was a resolution a few years ago - the OP's father died having never seen the money again. The police did not prosecute due to lack of evidence. There were a few more pages after that as the OP in that thread quite understandably came back for further moral support. I hope no-one minds me describing the facts so bluntly but it seems unlikely the OP in that thread (who has not posted since Jan 2016) will see this.



    That one's easy - online gambling. The OP was asked that and said he didn't believe so, which is another way of saying he doesn't know.

    There is nothing to suggest online gambling. My parents live a frugile lifestyle. There have been some minor purchases for household furniture but thats about it, and well within the tolerence for thier income level.
  • Rags2riches
    Rags2riches Posts: 42 Forumite
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    annandale wrote: »
    But that still doesn't account for the brother trying to convince the parents that they've spent some of this. How can you be conned into believing you've spent 140k when you haven't?

    I know. Especially bearing in mind that doesn't include funds released from a remortage or savings!

    There are clearly transactions to cards they've never had. What is Adams Mastercard and Curve?
  • Gingernutty
    Gingernutty Posts: 3,769 Forumite
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    Curve is not looking good.

    https://www.imaginecurve.com/m-curve/
    :huh: Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway... :huh:
  • annandale
    annandale Posts: 1,469 Forumite
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    Is there nothing that can be done because hes clearly opened cards without their knowledge? Surely that is fraud?

    Surely opening a card in someone elses name and using it is fraud? The police surely should be involved due to this, there's a difference between using cards because someone has given you the info and opening and using a card in someone elses name?

    http://www.actionfraud.police.uk/ID
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