Probationary period - failing to meet job

Mov · 18 March 2010 at 10:07AM

Hi
Help!!
My OH started a new job a few months ago with a 6 month probationary period. He had been told over last few months that he needed to improve, which he felt he has been improving. Clearly not enough. Anyway at his appraisal yesterday, he got a horrendous report which picked on a huge list of things he has been doing wrong. Even going as far as to point out personality flaws like fidgeting and waffling. He has been given a month to improve but we are talking about needing a huge improvement to keep his job. Also if he is unaware of his irritating behaviour I can't see how he can change that in 1 month.
I am terrified as we have a baby and I am on maternity leave, and will be going back to work part-time. Without his wages we will not be able to pay the mortgage never mind bills etc.
I guess my questions are:
when he applies for a new job, how does he explain the last 6 months? he obviously won't be able to use them as a reference.
Do they have to give him any notice or will they just tell him to leave once this month is up?
Please help. Am really upset by this, particularly as he always seems to have problems in jobs and has moved jobs every couple of years. I know he tries hard, but think he is just pretty useless at everything he does. Am seriously considering leaving him if he loses this job as I am fed up of the stress of trying to support him through yet another failure.....
thanks

valos_mummy · 18 March 2010 at 10:21AM

Oh my goodness, please don't tell him that (the last part about leaving him). If he's messing up this job and has to try and do better he'll be a bag of nerves with the pressure of job loss and his OH leaving him!!!

There must be something he's good at, everyone usually has something they enjoy doing. Maybe the kind of jobs he's going for he isn't really suited to, but feels the need to apply for them to earn good money. Fidgeting is a strange one to put on an appraisal, unless he's meeting customers/clients and they're picking up on his behaviour and mentioning it to others?

Maybe he can ask for some additional support on where he's going wrong, make it clear to his bosses that he wants to get better and improve. If he works in a job where say, he uses a computer program that he can't seem to get around; maybe order a home edition so he can practise his skills at home. Ask him if anything is wrong, it might be he's feeling overwhelmed with a new job and new baby and he's sinking. I can understand how frustrating it must be for you, but try and give him some support before you throw in the towel and he may come through it. x

Mov · 18 March 2010 at 10:28AM

Hi
thanks for that. At the moment I am being supportive, but he also knows we have been through this before and I am beyond fed up of him screwing up. I am keeping the part about considering leaving him in my head just now...
I think his job is fairly complex with lots of different aspects. According to this report he is not performing to a suitable level in ANY of the areas his job should cover. I just think one month is not enough time to completely turn things around, especially as he thought he had improved sufficiently already!!
I would love to be wrong about him not being good at anything as I am so aware that is not a nice thing to say. But he is 35 years old and just doesn't seem to be able to do anything successfully.
Fidgeting is an odd thing to write down, I thought so too. They also said he made colleagues nervous when he is on phone as they are scared what he will come out with!!! He is kind of a bumbling type of person. Maybe even a little eccentric? I can see why he would annoy people.
Thanks

hertzyabazas · 18 March 2010 at 10:31AM

Mov wrote: »

I know he tries hard, but think he is just pretty useless at everything he does. Am seriously considering leaving him if he loses this job as I am fed up of the stress of trying to support him through yet another failure.....
thanks

He can't be that useless if he got you pregnant!

You seem like the type of person who's quick to tell him that too, shattering his already fragile confidence.

You're probably better off without each other, however, the biggest loser in all this is the baby

Mov · 18 March 2010 at 10:34AM

hertzyabazas wrote: »

He can't be that useless if he got you pregnant!

You seem like the type of person who's quick to tell him that too, shattering his already fragile confidence.

You're probably better off without each other, however, the biggest loser in all this is the baby

Wow - sweeping judgement much???
Anyone with constructive/useful advice - who doesn't feel the need to make quick assessments based on a couple of posts?
Thank you.

Chinkle · 18 March 2010 at 10:35AM

I'm sure you really don't intend to walk out of him right now, probably just pregnancy hormones talking, you both need to support each other.

Firstly, you say he has moved on from jobs every couple of years, is this of his own choice? I doubt any company would keep someone in a role for that long without him having something valuable to give. So stop thinking he is a failure.

Now for this job, did he take it knowing it would be a bit of a stretch? Has he had the support and development he needs? What kind of guidance has he been given and what expectations is he supposed to meet with the next month? There should be some kind of plan in place either with his line manager and/or in association with HR.

How much do you know about his job, can you (or anyone else familar with the job) coach him? Does he himself want to give it his all and keep this job?

If it doesn't work out, I would still put the job on the CV as six months is quite a long time. As long as he can analyse why it didn't work out, not repeat his mistakes by applying for something similar, and explain this to any future employer.

And if he is stuck unemployed for awhile, what is the possibility of switching roles, he taking on house-husband role and you going full time.

Good luck and please don't ever show him this thread!

hertzyabazas · 18 March 2010 at 10:45AM

Would you care to point out where you've mentioned any of his good points?

If my wife had this little faith in me, I'm certain I would pick up on it and it would have a negative effect on self belief, focus etc

Did he actually want to do the job in the first place or did he just apply for the sake of having a job and hoping he'd be good at it and enjoy it?

Mov · 18 March 2010 at 10:45AM

Hi
Thank you - No he will never see this thread. My username is completely random letters!
Some of the jobs were because he wasn't getting on with the boss, other jobs were because he fancied a new challenge.
I think he took this job thinking it would be fairly similar to last job but a step up. I dont think he had any clue that he would struggle to do the job. His boss is supportive with plenty of supervision, but suspect OH has buried head in sand and not really taken on board what boss has said.
He has an appraisal report which clearly outlines all the areas he has to improve and how to go about improving. Having read the report he is at such a bad level, it would be near to impossible to improve enough in 1 month. If he had longer then I would believe it to be a more possible task.
Have persuaded him to go in early to work and to take shorter period for lunch for next month and use the extra time to do research on job etc to help improve his skills.
I am trying my hardest to be practical, but without his wages we are well and truly............... :-(
oh and I have already signed paperwork to go back part-time and my other hours have already been filled
thanks

dickydonkin · 18 March 2010 at 10:56AM

The company must have seen something in your OH to have been given the job in the first place - by the same token, you must have seen something in your OH when you met him and had a child with him.

We all have our traits (good and bad) but that is what makes us individuals and I am sure you must have been aware of your OH's 'eccentricity' after being with him for some time.

As for the employment aspect, at least the company are making him aware of his apparent failings and are giving him the opportunity to rectify issues that seem to be compromising his future employment.

Am seriously considering leaving him if he loses this job as I am fed up of the stress of trying to support him through yet another failure.....

Others could perceive that the above statement suggests there is an underlying problem with the relationship as the last thing your OH would want should he lose his job is another rejection when he will need all of the support he can get.

MOV it is a worrying time for you and I understand that, but look through all of the other sections of these forums and there are many in a similar position who are struggling but are coping and are being positive.

Hopefully your OH can rectify the issues his employer has highlighted but should the worst scenario occur, he will need your support so give him it - don't belittle him.

Mov · 18 March 2010 at 11:04AM

Thanks dpassmore
You are right I should be supporting him. But it just feels like this is happening yet again for the millionth time. After he bombed out his last job he promised me that he wouldn't get himself into this situation again. That is why I feel so utterly let down. And yes, we have certainly had more issues than just the job over the years, but I am not one for quitting and neither is he if we feel there is something worth fighting for. I just am not sure that our relationship is worth fighting for anymore. I just feel so let down and numb about it all

Is it worth him speaking to his union? Or I am presuming that they are well within their rights to demand a huge improvement in 1 month or he is out?

If he loses job will he be entitled to any benefits until he gets another job? Though I know this won't cover our mortgage. We have very limited savings. Enough to cover one month mortgage and that is it.

dickydonkin · 18 March 2010 at 11:33AM

Mov wrote: »

Thanks dpassmore
You are right I should be supporting him. But it just feels like this is happening yet again for the millionth time. After he bombed out his last job he promised me that he wouldn't get himself into this situation again. That is why I feel so utterly let down. And yes, we have certainly had more issues than just the job over the years, but I am not one for quitting and neither is he if we feel there is something worth fighting for. I just am not sure that our relationship is worth fighting for anymore. I just feel so let down and numb about it all

Is it worth him speaking to his union? Or I am presuming that they are well within their rights to demand a huge improvement in 1 month or he is out?

If he loses job will he be entitled to any benefits until he gets another job? Though I know this won't cover our mortgage. We have very limited savings. Enough to cover one month mortgage and that is it.

A new baby, threat of job loss, concerned about bills is all worrying and I bet your head is spinning. It is likely that you are hitting out at everything and anything and I can appreciate your OH is an easy target.

If your OH is in a union then I would definitely seek their advice - that is what you pay your subscriptions for. As for the probationary period, the company could always extend the period and why not ask them? (with the assistance of his union).

I am sure someone will come in and give you details of all of the benefits you would be entitled to, however, what you receive would obviously depend on your personal circumstances and I would not disclose too much on a forum. Welfare Rights or the CAB may be of assistance, but I hope you do not need to use them.

And yes, we have certainly had more issues than just the job over the years, but I am not one for quitting and neither is he if we feel there is something worth fighting for.

The above quote from you is more encouraging than your initial post so good luck and I am sure you will get some more advice on this thread.

Probationary period - failing to meet job

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free