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  • FIRST POST
    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 2nd Sep 13, 12:25 PM
    • 2,863Posts
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    Watty1
    This Time I'm Really Going To Do It
    • #1
    • 2nd Sep 13, 12:25 PM
    This Time I'm Really Going To Do It 2nd Sep 13 at 12:25 PM
    I've loved this little bit of the forum and over the years have often stopped by for a bit of motivation. And from time to time have even made moves to become mortgage free, making an overpayment here, and thinking about it and even once setting a date (12/12/12) when there was a great thread here about that.

    And then poooffff ... I make a start and it all fades away.

    A year ago I decided that we would be mortgage free by January 2014 ... and paid off 10% of the mortgage..found that was the maximum we could pay off without penalty and then I sort of gave up. But not totally. I have been saving and over the last few weeks been looking forward to the start of september because .....drumroll....today I can make a repayment without penalty. And so I am currently on hold to the Mortgage company to do just that.

    And whilst holding I thought I would also start a diary here to keep me motivated... I mean January 2014 Thats only 4 months away...surely I cant do it by then????

    But rather than give up once again I'm going to see just how far I can get by that date and hopefully posting on a nice friendly board will keep the motivation up.

    Back later with more figures.
    Last edited by Watty1; 02-09-2013 at 2:09 PM.
Page 144
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 12th Nov 17, 1:22 PM
    • 3,535 Posts
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    smallholdingsister
    I think it is Mr Watty's brother, who seems to have been at best a catalyst for this crisis.
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 12th Nov 17, 3:28 PM
    • 28,045 Posts
    • 154,149 Thanks
    Karmacat
    Oh damn - sorry about that Watty, SHS's input triggered my exact memory about the part he played I've deleted my reference to him where I wittered on about hoping he stepped up. Sorry.
    Retired August 2016
    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 12th Nov 17, 5:21 PM
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    Watty1
    KC's post was utterly brilliant. I've not cut and pasted the responses to it but KC it was fabulous. Really helpful. You have articulated rather a lot of what I thought about 'friend' in US working with Mr Watty. And I did ring her because I couldn't sleep, knew she would be around because of the time difference and I was desperate. That she offered to speak to Mr Watty the following day I viewed more as an emergency lets see if he will go to a counsellor debate rather than a developing therapeutic relationship.


    That he then did two other sessions with her, one to discuss medication (she is also a doctor in US) I was ok with ...but ... the bill is excessive and KC articulated my thoughts better. I might just print that out for the conversation I plan to have with her. Thank you
    Mortgage at start of diary Sept 2013: £132,995 Aug 2015 £0
    Overpaying next mortgage. £79,491 now £27152
    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 12th Nov 17, 5:25 PM
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    Watty1
    and thanks everyone else too. Your kindness much appreciated. I don't think the brother was the catalyst, although I do not think he has helped one jot.
    And may just say so!


    For now I am staying put here. I think the 'no life changes when in crisis' comment from KC excellent. So I will just see how it unfolds.


    Today I gave the yard a pressure wash to get rid of the slippery surface before winter, cleared some rubbish out. Mr Watty has left some items from 'his' barn in the hay barn that are no longer required. Would have ebayed but camera flat and now its dark! Some stuff moved to the tip. Off to bring ponies in, and, as Mr Watty working overnight, going to make dinner and watch TV with the wood burning stove roaring.
    Mortgage at start of diary Sept 2013: £132,995 Aug 2015 £0
    Overpaying next mortgage. £79,491 now £27152
    • ajmoney
    • By ajmoney 12th Nov 17, 6:13 PM
    • 4,833 Posts
    • 55,425 Thanks
    ajmoney
    I am glad you are still posting Watty, I have been reading although not posting myself.
    2017 MFW No. 70 £5077.29/£5500
    MFiT-T4 No. 70 £20397.87/£29544
    Mortgage £118977.13 Savings £86924.44
    Total left to pay/save £32052.69
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 12th Nov 17, 6:26 PM
    • 28,045 Posts
    • 154,149 Thanks
    Karmacat
    Glad it was helpful couple of other things:
    - check out what her normal rate is - she should be advertising that somewhere on her website, I'd have thought.
    - what she says on her website about length of sessions - no way do you need 3 hours to discuss medication.
    - she'll be used to her clients/patients claiming from insurance, I should think. She may not have realised that you didn't have anyone to reimburse you, which is normal in this country, so she may be willing to change the rate she charges.
    - check out what her accreditation organisation says too - since she's a qualified doctor, that's probably the American Medical Association, to start with, but it sounds like she isn't *only* a medical doctor? What are their ethical guidelines about charging, phone work, informed consent etc?

    This sentence from your post at 5.21 today: "That she offered to speak to Mr Watty the following day I viewed more as an emergency lets see if he will go to a counsellor debate rather than a developing therapeutic relationship." ...
    This is why therapists are supposed to make clear what they're offering. It's called "the therapeutic contract". She didn't do that, and it's her responsibility, not yours. She didn't do it with you or Mr Watty - I can't believe that kind of ethical framework isn't in the USA too, as well as in this country - though I've just had a rootle through the website of the American Medical Association, and it says, unfortunately: "Billing disputes and poor customer service are generally not viewed as unprofessional conduct.". On this page: https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/frequently-asked-questions-ethics. The actual code of ethics is locked behind a login screen. But still, that's about doctors, and Mr Watty spoke with her as a counsellor or therapist, yes?

    Finally (sorry! ) this is a page of links that might help you - remember there are federal laws and state laws in the USA:
    https://www.counselor-license.com/resources/counseling-organizations.html.

    The very last thing you needed

    It's a different culture out there, and you may have no recourse, unfortunately. One more piece of fallout from the bereavement

    A woodburning stove and a nice dinner in front of the tv sound good! I've no stove here, but the central heating is just starting to blast out right now, and my pasta and whatnot nicely cooked


    Save
    Save
    Retired August 2016
    • gallygirl
    • By gallygirl 12th Nov 17, 6:45 PM
    • 16,454 Posts
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    gallygirl
    Nothing to add Watty, except to say your MSE family are all rooting for you xxx
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
    Mortgage Balance = £0
    "Do what others won't early in life so you can do what others can't later in life"
    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 12th Nov 17, 9:29 PM
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    Watty1
    thanks again KC. More useful stuff there. I've had a rootle around and read the links. I've pretty much formulated what I will say with her. The bottom line is I don't want to fall out with her as a friend but she has overstepped the mark here.


    I do know her hourly rate (gasp) and think you have a point that she is probably paid by insurance companies and she may not have realised I was footing the bill on that one.


    I'm going to suggest Mr Watty's dad's estate pays


    I should add in fairness that he has had 3 separate sessions and each have covered a lot of stuff. But I think has so much trauma from childhood has come up she should have been guiding him to appropriate resources here (and I'll use those links to find someone).


    Having mapped out what I will say and got it clear, I'll follow up with her next week.


    My dinner was delicious (ricotta and kale tart with salad) and I've just relaxed in front of TV. Off to hay the ponies and give them their goodnight hugs then bedtime I think to curl up and read. Kitten normally pops up at night, bribed by a few treats of course, but then she returns to stretch out in front of the stove until it burns itself out.
    Mortgage at start of diary Sept 2013: £132,995 Aug 2015 £0
    Overpaying next mortgage. £79,491 now £27152
    • Secret Saving Squirrel
    • By Secret Saving Squirrel 12th Nov 17, 9:59 PM
    • 3,929 Posts
    • 36,198 Thanks
    Secret Saving Squirrel
    That all sounds good Watty. Clearing out and tidying up and getting rid of stuff is a great way to fill a bit of time and prepare you for whatever steps lie ahead. You will know when the right time comes to make permanent decisions. Good luck, as you can see there are a lot of people thinking of you. X
    Paid off mortgage nine years early in 2013. Now picking and choosing our work to fit in with the rest of our lives!
    Still thrifty though, after all these years
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 13th Nov 17, 12:02 PM
    • 1,117 Posts
    • 6,417 Thanks
    themadvix
    Thinking of you Watty x
    OPs 2017 = £2603/£10000
    S&S ISA = £300/£600
    OPs made 2016 = £6142.12
    Starting balance 2012: £132000; balance June 2017: £99,974
    MFW2017 no. 38
    • Karmacat
    • By Karmacat 13th Nov 17, 1:48 PM
    • 28,045 Posts
    • 154,149 Thanks
    Karmacat
    Good luck Watty, I hope these things go as smoothly as they ever can.
    Retired August 2016
    • greent
    • By greent 13th Nov 17, 5:10 PM
    • 6,409 Posts
    • 64,754 Thanks
    greent
    Also thinking of you, Watty xx
    I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul
    Repaid mtge early (orig 11/25) Bal 01/09 £124616 01/10 £104927 01/11 £89873 01/12 £76317 01/13 £52546 01/14 £35356 01/15 £12133 07/15 £NIL
    Next: BTL Mtge 12/16 £69786. 2017 OPs (#18) £5034/£3286
    Net sales 2017 £1214.99/£500 PAYDOX17 £11937/£10k Decluttered 1730/2017 items
    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 14th Nov 17, 3:06 PM
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    Watty1
    You lot are so lovely thank you.


    nice day today. Most Handsome and I had a riding lesson this morning which was great fun. He went beautifully and I enjoyed every minute. Then came in for an early lunch and went shopping.


    Now shopping is something I don't usually do and I had fun. Bought new bra, lovely pair of pyjamas, colouring book and a birthday present for Mr Watty. Was going to have tea and cake in caf! but bought cake and came home and had tea with kitten. Cheaper and just as much fun as kitten was playing with her new floral mouse I found in a cupboard I cleared out while the kettle was boiling.


    Buying Mr Watty a gift for his birthday and just going on as normal. Or as normal as can be under the circs. Though perhaps being very mindful of own finances
    Mortgage at start of diary Sept 2013: £132,995 Aug 2015 £0
    Overpaying next mortgage. £79,491 now £27152
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 14th Nov 17, 5:37 PM
    • 3,535 Posts
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    smallholdingsister
    Well done for keeping on keeping on. Xxx
    • hiddenshadow
    • By hiddenshadow 14th Nov 17, 8:48 PM
    • 2,257 Posts
    • 10,213 Thanks
    hiddenshadow
    Thinking of you, Watty.
    MFW: Dec '13 £197,100 / Dec '14 £180,691 / Dec '15 £161,669 / Dec '16 £119,669 / Nov '17 £105,759
    2017 MFW #56: £13,909/£15,000 92% / MFiT-T4 #15: £53,740/£90,000 59%
    • Secret Saving Squirrel
    • By Secret Saving Squirrel 14th Nov 17, 8:51 PM
    • 3,929 Posts
    • 36,198 Thanks
    Secret Saving Squirrel
    Sensible you. Well done xx
    Paid off mortgage nine years early in 2013. Now picking and choosing our work to fit in with the rest of our lives!
    Still thrifty though, after all these years
    • themadvix
    • By themadvix 15th Nov 17, 1:08 PM
    • 1,117 Posts
    • 6,417 Thanks
    themadvix
    Sounds like a lovely day - glad you enjoyed it. Well done Most Handsome!
    OPs 2017 = £2603/£10000
    S&S ISA = £300/£600
    OPs made 2016 = £6142.12
    Starting balance 2012: £132000; balance June 2017: £99,974
    MFW2017 no. 38
    • Watty1
    • By Watty1 16th Nov 17, 10:18 AM
    • 2,863 Posts
    • 19,891 Thanks
    Watty1
    Spent the morning so far reading diaries which was a lovely catch up with everyone. Tired after a late night curry with two friends I once was very close to but had not seen for over a year. I've not laughed so much in ages ..... we agreed we will catch up again in January. Home and bed by 1.00 am which for me is soooo very late .... and tired this am so now going to make tea and the tidy office as that might reveal some work that needs doing
    Mortgage at start of diary Sept 2013: £132,995 Aug 2015 £0
    Overpaying next mortgage. £79,491 now £27152
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 16th Nov 17, 6:27 PM
    • 3,535 Posts
    • 27,432 Thanks
    smallholdingsister
    That is seriously late. I'm a punpkin by 9.30.
    • smallholdingsister
    • By smallholdingsister 16th Nov 17, 9:35 PM
    • 3,535 Posts
    • 27,432 Thanks
    smallholdingsister
    Also a pumpkin.
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