Real-life MMD: Should I tell my husband that his new client's my horrid ex?

Augustus_the_Strong wrote: »

YES! Avoid secrets wherever possible, they always lead to trouble.

Tell him in a neutral way and let him decide how to play it.

Absolutely agree with the above, secrets can be corrosive, and the longer you wait, the harder it gets and the more hurtful when it does come out - tell him quietly, and let him take it from there. If he wants more input whether business or personal, from you, you've left the door open for a rational discussion.

Best wishes with it all..

You should definitely tell your husband that the guy is your ex. You should also mention that he treated you badly, although whether you wish to disclose exactly how he did so is up to you. As others have said, there may be financial implications for your husband, in which case full disclosure is essential. If it was purely in his personal treatment of you that's probably a different matter depending on how bad it was.

I realise you don't want to make your husband feel awkward dealing with this man so maybe just stick to the basic information and don't go into details.

btw the people who've said the OP should disclose exactly how this ex treated her badly need to re-think that request. That's deeply personal information regarding a romantic relationship you're asking about and it's entirely up to the OP how much or how little she discloses. Would you really want the details of the failure of your past relationships put on the website for anyone to read?

OP, good luck with whatever you decide. I think your husband is lucky to have a wife who considers his feelings and all the implications rather than simply seeking revenge on her ex.

lauh88 wrote: »

Does your ex know that he is your husband? Is there a possibility someone might reveal it to your husband? Would he feel betrayed if he found out further down the line when he possibly can't pull out? Is it a big job or could it lead to more work in the future? Just a couple of things to think about.

We do not have enough information to help you. The answers to the questions asked above are imperative for anyone on this forum to be able to give you any valid advice on your dilemma.

Speaking as a husband - of course you should tell him!

And speaking for myself, I'd have nothing to do with the horrid ex from a business perspective. Being married means that you love someone enough to accept their perspective wholly, without being judge and jury from some lofty, all-knowing standpoint.

If my wife says the guy is horrid, he's horrid, I don't want money that badly

Tell him ASAP.

I would not be so worried about their business relationship as presumably your husband is professional and well able to look after his own interests.

But what if (horror of horrors) they really got on well with each other and you ended up being expected to socialise ?