Putting home into family trust to avoid nursing home fees

teajug · 8 September 2012 at 1:56PM

meer53 wrote: »

You sound very bitter.

My MIL has dementia, she is well looked after and i have no concerns regarding the care she receives. Other posters have commented in a similar vein.

You cannot possibly state that ALL care homes are as you describe. If my MIL was still in her own home, she would find it impossible to feed or look after herself and would probably have passed away months ago.

I call to see her at different times each week and have never seen any difference in how she is treated when i am there. The staff are fantastic, it's quite obvious that they care about the residents.

As for the bingo sessions, just how long would you like them to last ? And i don't have to take her anywhere to play bingo, it's all arranged by the staff, as are all the other outings etc.

Your comments are ridiculous.

I did not say 'all' care homes. It took me 30 seconds to bring this amount of abuse up are you saying that 'all' care homes are good.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fiona-phillips-panorama-elderly-care-802647

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13548222

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1924962/Thousands-of-elderly-abused-in-care-homes.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/may/31/abuse-at-leading-care-home

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13813460

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-14076394

http://www.express.co.uk/ourcomments/view/277304/Why-are-elderly-people-treated-so-badly-by-the-NHS-

These are the bad homes we know about....

LisaW123 · 8 September 2012 at 2:09PM

Mojisola wrote: »

People in care are there for all sorts of reasons - the level of care necessary, no living relatives or no relatives able to provide care, by their own choice and some because their relatives won't care for them.

By saying that you "wouldn't dream of dumping" a relative in a care home you are implying that all the people in care have been dumped there.

Many have in my opinion. My Grandmother had a number of health problems, including Motor Neurone Disease. There aren't many people who need more help than those with advanced MND.

Mojisola · 8 September 2012 at 3:31PM

LisaW123 wrote: »

Many have in my opinion. My Grandmother had a number of health problems, including Motor Neurone Disease. There aren't many people who need more help than those with advanced MND.

I've also seen elderly people who have been kept at home in far from ideal conditions, not receiving the best care that they could have done, because the family didn't want granny's house sold to pay for care but I wouldn't suggest that everyone who cared for their relative at home was money-grabbing and uncaring.

LisaW123 · 8 September 2012 at 3:50PM

Mojisola wrote: »

I've also seen elderly people who have been kept at home in far from ideal conditions, not receiving the best care that they could have done, because the family didn't want granny's house sold to pay for care but I wouldn't suggest that everyone who cared for their relative at home was money-grabbing and uncaring.

At no point have I said everyone, I think the word I actually used was many.

You may not be implying what I think you are but, for your information, there was no financial gain to be had from my Mother and myself looking after my Grandmother. She didn't own her house and qualified for NHS continuing care so we could have sent her packing at no cost to ourselves, should we have chosen to do so.

Mojisola · 8 September 2012 at 3:58PM

Mojisola wrote: »

I've also seen elderly people who have been kept at home in far from ideal conditions, not receiving the best care that they could have done, because the family didn't want granny's house sold to pay for care but I wouldn't suggest that everyone who cared for their relative at home was money-grabbing and uncaring.

LisaW123 wrote: »

You may not be implying what I think you are but, for your information, there was no financial gain to be had from my Mother and myself looking after my Grandmother. She didn't own her house and qualified for NHS continuing care so we could have sent her packing at no cost to ourselves, should we have chosen to do so.

Read what I said - I'm not implying anything about you.

I'm glad you weren't implying that anyone who had to find a care home for their relative was "dumping them" or "sending them packing".

seven-day-weekend · 8 September 2012 at 4:20PM

margaretclare wrote: »

Well said. This is the comparison, isn't it? Someone mentioned help with bathing and hairdressing - if a person really needs to be in a care home he/she will not be able to do personal hygiene, laundry, feeding self, what are called the 'activities of daily living'. The special occasions, street parties etc, will be over and above all that - the kind of things that keep people in touch with what's going on in the world around.

I would hope for all that if I ever become totally incapable, with the proviso that I should be able to opt out of bingo, biscuit-eating and with the addition that I should have some form of spiritual solace, minister's visit, even getting out occasionally to go to church.

People from your own church would probably visit and /or take you to church MC. I know this is what happens in my church.

meer53 · 8 September 2012 at 5:04PM

teajug wrote: »

I did not say 'all' care homes. It took me 30 seconds to bring this amount of abuse up are you saying that 'all' care homes are good.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fiona-phillips-panorama-elderly-care-802647

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13548222

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1924962/Thousands-of-elderly-abused-in-care-homes.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/may/31/abuse-at-leading-care-home

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13813460

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-14076394

http://www.express.co.uk/ourcomments/view/277304/Why-are-elderly-people-treated-so-badly-by-the-NHS-

These are the bad homes we know about....

Of course i'm not saying all care homes are good. The only ones you get to hear about are the bad ones.

Your posts are extremely negative. Several posters have explained that they have a different opinion, as do i.

Errata · 8 September 2012 at 5:29PM

Those of you who have found a satisfactory care home are fortunate, many don't and the sub-optimal care that's uncovered by the media and in the courts is merely the tip of the iceberg.
Vanishingly few know if the care at their closest residental home is of an acceptable standaed, most like to believe it is.
If you have a POV on care quality you can make it known here http://www.cqc.org.uk/public/news/send-us-your-views-our-proposals-our-new-strategy

margaretclare · 8 September 2012 at 5:46PM

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

People from your own church would probably visit and /or take you to church MC. I know this is what happens in my church.

This is one which I know about, 7DWE. http://www.ashingdonhall.com/

It's very close to St Andrew's Minster church, the whole area is steeped in history. St Andrew's was the church ordered to be built by King Canute to pray for the souls of all those killed in the Battle of Ashingdon in 1016.

What I don't know is what it costs, but the way this is written, it looks ideal.

Bogof_Babe · 8 September 2012 at 6:18PM

All very well implying that people in care homes should be being cared for by their families. Medical conditions apart, how is this possible where the (usually) elderly person lives in a one bedroomed flat and needs 24-hour care, or where the family live a long way away and cannot re-locate due to work commitments?

Or where there are rowdy teenagers living in the family home, and only one living room.

Or where a husband/wife has never got on with the inlaw concerned - hardly fair to inflict that on your partner.

Retirement homes are the next step from sheltered accommodation, and usually the occupants are perfectly able to complain loudly if something isn't right.

Adults with dementia can be impossible for family to care for, especially if there is only one son or daughter prepared to take the responsibility on.

Nursing homes have doctors and nurses dropping in almost daily, as well as the medically qualified staff in residence, and will soon flag up if any abuse is evident.

I am sorry for anyone who has not had a good experience in one of these places, but I'd be very surprised if this is common. Care homes are businesses and it is in their interests to provide a good service.

Putting home into family trust to avoid nursing home fees

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