What's the best way for a couple to keep in financial contact... your tips wanted

Wednesday2000 · 12 October 2016 at 10:55AM

Lots of helpful information here, thanks. I do most of the finances and think I have to make sure that my DH knows the passwords etc... I think I might buy a safe to keep at home.

janiebquick wrote: »

We found out in March that I am terminally ill.

Sorry to read that.xx

4ndy · 12 October 2016 at 11:15AM

It is not just the loss of a partner that creates problems.

My number one tip is resist constant pressure from banks etc. to go paperless. Post arriving after we have gone will be of great assistance to those left behind. In any event, monthly statements probably cost banks at least £25 per account each year, yet they offer nothing to customers for giving them up. I reckon they must be worth at least an iPad or laptop each.

My second tip is don't lock up access to your email. Passwords can then always be recovered or reset. If you need secrets from your family, open another email account not linked to financial affairs.

HughFranklin · 12 October 2016 at 11:30AM

Issues with Divorce

Just to let others who share finances through a joint account that this has become a nightmare as I go through a divorce as my ex is claiming that I financially abused her as she didn't have control over our money despite us both having equal access to our joint accounts for everything. I never expected this, in fact we used to joke that we didn't need sole accounts like our contemporaries as we shared everything. In reality I don't think she has a leg to stand on here but it is causing me some distress.

So just a warning you can never be completely sure what will happen so it's worth really making sure that your joint arrangements are transparent and that neither of you are making some or all of the financial decisions without realising it.

System · 12 October 2016 at 11:32AM

Everything he needs concerning the house is, as i tell him frequently, is in the red folder.

He's got access to my bank account so i suppose he could find what he needed in the way of direct debit information from there.

The mobile phone contracts and stuff to do with his self employment, car etc are in files behind me though i wouldnt be able to get into his laptop for the most recent stuff as its password protected but i think i'd have enough information in the files behind me to work stuff out plus the fact his accountant is just next door. It would still take me weeks if not months to sort it out.

Faith177 · 12 October 2016 at 12:37PM

I do handle everything originally because it was my house and OH moved in with me so I already had everything in place so was just easier to carry on. OH then lied to me about his debt problems so I took over all his accounts to get him to budget and with a view of him going bankrupt he was then in a car accident and now has severe memory problems so is not able to control finances at all. He knows what needs to be paid but not how much or who to ie water rates.

I have my big blue box which has EVERYTHING in there each thing has it's own section so there is one for all my work benefits and my life insurance, one for council tax, tv licence ect. Also in there is a detailed document of everything that has to be done on a monthly basis the account numbers who has to be paid the amounts and I regularly update this whenever a change occurs. There also a copy on my computer and on my laptop. I also have all my passwords written down on a secure document so OH can access my email, banking ect

Also stored in the blue box is a separate document for how to care for our animals what their quirks are, what they eat, their vet details ect. It also has all their microchip stuff, vaccination certs ect. My brother, housemate and Grandparents know this exists so if anything happens to the pair of us our animals will be cared for. I have also made provisions for their expenses for whoever takes them on extreme I know but we don't have children and our animals are our babies. Plus because of the breed of the dog if you didn't know what you were doing they would be trouble

When my mum died I couldn't thank her enough for telling me where everything was before she passed it was a God send and made sorting her affairs so easy. She even had a spreadsheet of her monthly spending so I could just do down the list and inform each company it took me no time at all. She was a very organised person with regards to her dying as she was widowed at 28 and wanted to always make sure me and my brother were looked after so she documented everything

maman · 12 October 2016 at 1:02PM

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

The partner has no rights whatsoever over the deceased's sole name accounts if there's no will saying otherwise.

Which definitely is a good reason for getting wills sorted.

We used this
http://www.willaid.org.uk/

some years back. Although we are married there were particular arrangements we wanted in place.

There are echoes in this thread of the separate/shared finances thread. I'm very sorry to hear of your extreme case hugh. In our case we have largely separate finances and split monthly bills 50:50 plus savings in our own names as this allows us to take advantage of interest rates. If anything did happen, either of us would be able to manage fine financially until the wills were executed.

DH and I have the direct debits shared between own accounts for household bills (again for good financial reasons) but the paperwork is all accessible so if anything happened I'm sure if I called the energy company (for example) and offered to pay instead they wouldn't refuse.

Sofashopper · 12 October 2016 at 3:40PM

Financial Factsheet.
As an aging couple we keep our current Financial Factsheet up to date ( Income and expenditure by month and annual) on a pen drive which is kept in a safe place.
In addition we each have our own widowed Financial Factsheet to work from on the death of our partner, and to ensure financial stability/security in widowship, also kept on the pens stick. Includes all expenditure by month and projected income as individual survivor. Surprising how different they are.

In case of our mutual deaths our daughter is aware of the location of the pen stick

mellymoo74 · 12 October 2016 at 4:15PM

My OH has mental health issues, this can lead to overspending on whatever this month's obsession is.

I have a tracker (excel spreadsheet)
Keep in close contact with utility companies (currently arranging something with the arrears as OH and myself collapsed, meaning I couldn't work, still arranging benefits)

He won't do it when he is ill, so it needs to be kept up to date so I at least know where we are at.

seejay43 · 12 October 2016 at 4:27PM

I use an Excel spreadsheet (Word table would do equally well) listing all the companies with whom we do business - from bank accounts to utilities and loyalty cards to insurance companies. Each entry contains name, address, customer services telephone number, account or membership number and a brief comment if the entry is not self explanatory - together with a tick box to record that notification of death has occurred. A password protected file of individual account passwords is on the computer with its password in a sealed envelope in a secure location which only my wife knows. It sounds morbid, but I believe pragmatic and helpful is a better description,

Dublin_Rambler · 12 October 2016 at 4:45PM

As I take care of all finances, I have documented everything and put it on a USB, which my wife hides. I regularly check and update it.

What's the best way for a couple to keep in financial contact... your tips wanted

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