Help with sex offender ex and my children pls

Hello all,

Im asking this question on behalf of a friend of mine who is extremely worried, but she cannot afford the legal advice either.

However her ex was sent to prison for having sex with a under age girl. He was warned of a few times and still did it. So he is currently in a prison which is dedicated to sex offenders. However she got a letter come through the other day saying that he wants to be in the childrens lives. She does not want that at all, he was an abusive ex and when he walked out he never bothered with the kids then.

She wants to know is there anything she can do under any laws to stop him from seen the children, or is it that she cant do anything at all. She really does not want the kids to find out what he went prison for, and last time he saw them one of them would of been about 1 the other around 3.

Any advice would be appreciated on this one

Thank you.
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Comments

  • Mupette
    Mupette Posts: 4,599 Forumite
    does he have a probation officer she can talk to, i should imagine when he gets out, he will be in an approved premises for a while. The probation office will be a great communicator for her and free
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  • Jojo_the_Tightfisted
    Jojo_the_Tightfisted Posts: 27,228
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    edited 28 June 2017 at 7:50PM
    Would Social Services be interested in helping her preventing him see them? I think they'd feel quite strongly if a convicted child sex offender were to be regularly seeing children if somebody were to report it to them.

    Of course, there is the option of ignoring it in the hope he doesn't show up once he's out - or sending it back with 'not at this address', but they're not really long term solutions. he might also have conditions of release being staying away from a particular area, which might include your friend's town.

    If he's that keen, he'll go to court to try and get access. I think his convictions would make this less than simple for him, too, particularly as his accommodation on release is unlikely to be suitable.
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  • Loz01
    Loz01 Posts: 1,841
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    She would have to agree to contact within the prison environment if he wants them to visit him or be bought in by someone else to visit. Also it depends, he might not be allowed to have access to them. Some sex offenders are allowed access to their own children while they are in prison but not all, the public protection unit/social services etc has to agree to it and the CARER has to agree (aka your friend)

    As for after he gets out, I'm not entirely sure but if she is the main carer then he wont have a lot going on his side of the argument.
  • lincroft1710
    lincroft1710 Posts: 17,562
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    Depending on the ages and gender of the children, might they be considered to be at risk from your friend's ex?
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  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,198
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    Unless there is an existing court order in place (in which case she can apply to have it varied or dismissed), she doesn't have to provide contact just because he is requesting it.

    Longer term, if they can't agree, then ultimately he could make an application to the court, and a court would have to consider what was in the best interests of the children. While there is normally a presumption that it is in a child's interest to have a relationship with both parents, that doesn't isn't a foregone conclusion that this mean direct contact.

    She doesn't have to take the children to visit him in prison, and once he is released, it would be reasonable to seek advice about whether he presents any risk to the children.
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • Fosterdog
    Fosterdog Posts: 4,948
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    I'd tell her to ignore all contact unless it comes from a court if/when he applies for access when he is released.

    It will then be up to the court to look at the facts and decide whether or not he poses a risk to the children and whether any contact at all would be allowed and how it would take place (indirect contact only, contact centre, contact with another suitable designated person present or actual free contact).

    Does your friend have any contact with any of his family? Do the children have contact with their paternal grandparents and any aunts or uncles? If they do and his own family agree that the children are not safe with him then it would add to your friends argument against allowing contact.

    It would be impossible for anyone here to even begin to predict how a judge would decide. If he is say 19 years old and had sex with a willing (albeit too young to make an informed and rational desicion on it) 15 year old it wouldn't be seen as being as severe as a 30 year old grooming a younger child. The gender of his children could make a difference, how remorseful he is for what he has done (again depending on the severity of the crime), he may not pose any risk at all to his own children, that is where agencies such as social services and possibly CAFCASS would come into it to help decide.
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    zexbox wrote: »
    Hello all,

    Im asking this question on behalf of a friend of mine who is extremely worried, but she cannot afford the legal advice either.

    However her ex was sent to prison for having sex with a under age girl. He was warned of a few times and still did it. So he is currently in a prison which is dedicated to sex offenders. - fairly sure this doesn't exist... However she got a letter come through the other day saying that he wants to be in the childrens lives. She does not want that at all, he was an abusive ex and when he walked out he never bothered with the kids then. - Ultimately a court would decide what's best for the children

    She wants to know is there anything she can do under any laws to stop him from seen the children - no, but he would have to convince a court and CAFCASS that he was rehabilitated and contact would benefit the children , or is it that she cant do anything at all. She really does not want the kids to find out what he went prison for, and last time he saw them one of them would of been about 1 the other around 3. - Well it's public record, so eventually they'll find out

    Any advice would be appreciated on this one

    Thank you.

    Do nothing. He can go to court if he really wants to have contact
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  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite



    Fair enough, only holds 860 prisoners though - learn something new everyday
  • paddy's_mum
    paddy's_mum Posts: 3,977
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    It seems to me that his exact status where these children are concerned would be heavily influenced by what kind of ex he is.

    I would guess that an ex-husband who is the father of the children in question would have a much stronger case to keep contact with them than say an ex-boyfriend who knew the children for only the duration of his relationship with their mother.

    The opening post does not make it clear, that I can see.
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