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  • FIRST POST
    • Eve2928
    • By Eve2928 6th Aug 17, 5:34 PM
    • 9Posts
    • 25Thanks
    Eve2928
    Can boyfriends ex take money from my wage as child matinence?
    • #1
    • 6th Aug 17, 5:34 PM
    Can boyfriends ex take money from my wage as child matinence? 6th Aug 17 at 5:34 PM
    Hello.

    I'm really confused at the moment. Boyfriend currently works, but is getting made redundant.

    He will be able to claim contributions based job seekers for 6 months, by then our baby will have been born and he is becoming a stay at home dad.

    I work in a school as a teaching assistant, very low wage, don't even come out with £1000 a month. He is going to look for part time work, but finding one around my hours is going to prove difficult when we have stepson every weekend and his ex won't change that! So if he worked weekends, we wouldn't see stepson. That's another issue altogether.

    Anyways, stepsons mum has said I will have to pay child matience out of my wage. I said no way! I have no legal duty towards stepson. And if the government say boyfriend is only entitled to 6 months benefits, he's going to have no wage.

    I only get 6 weeks at 90% pay, we struggle enough so I can't take anymore maternity and I will be retuning to work after these 6 weeks. Boyfriend will be looking after baby. He can't claim income support because I work too many hours.

    Anyways, legally, can the child matience count my wage and will I be made to pay for stepson out of my wage??

    i have no legal duty towards stepson, how could they possibly take my wage?

    Apparently stepsons mum has looked into this and it's possible. Not sure if she's just saying that to make me pay, but it doesn't seem right to me..

    Thanks
Page 3
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 9th Aug 17, 6:54 PM
    • 12,115 Posts
    • 10,059 Thanks
    zagfles
    I just don't understand the attraction of having a child with a man who doesn't feel he has to pay for the children he already has.
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    He's going to a SAHP. I know men offering direct care rather than cash is beyond the comprehension of some...
    Do you really think he'd do any different for you and your child if/when you split up?
    What makes you assume it would be her, the working parent, who gets custody, rather than him, the SAHP? The SAHP usually gets custody don't they?

    Or are we back in the 1950's again?
    • nannytone
    • By nannytone 9th Aug 17, 7:10 PM
    • 12,086 Posts
    • 17,909 Thanks
    nannytone
    if you consider he is letting his ex say when and if he can see th first child ( when he should be going t court for a fairer arrangement) its probably safe to say he wouldn't be fighting for the second child either.

    what would have happened if he hadn't been made redundant?

    was he just going to leave work anyway to look after the new baby?

    the issue isn't him being a stay at home parent.
    the issue is choosing not to support his first child financially.

    yes giving care and time is important. but it doesn't put a roof over the childs head, food on his table or close on his back. it seems the fact that the mother houses the child, feeds him and clothes him means she is financially supporting him, regardless if its from benefits, another partner or working.

    the father is choosing to be a SAHP with no ability to financially support the first child
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Aug 17, 11:13 AM
    • 1,509 Posts
    • 4,077 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    He's going to a SAHP. I know men offering direct care rather than cash is beyond the comprehension of some...
    Originally posted by zagfles
    Only to one of his children though, the eldest won't be getting either.
    • Tammykitty
    • By Tammykitty 10th Aug 17, 5:39 PM
    • 487 Posts
    • 1,023 Thanks
    Tammykitty
    Only to one of his children though, the eldest won't be getting either.
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel

    He has offered it to the eldest too but the PWC won't allow it.
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    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 10th Aug 17, 8:00 PM
    • 1,509 Posts
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    Red-Squirrel
    He has offered it to the eldest too but the PWC won't allow it.
    Originally posted by Tammykitty
    Oh, he's offered to go and provide childcare in the child's own home to suit the mother's work schedule has he? Brilliant!
    • clearingout
    • By clearingout 11th Aug 17, 5:04 PM
    • 3,141 Posts
    • 6,375 Thanks
    clearingout
    He's going to a SAHP. I know men offering direct care rather than cash is beyond the comprehension of some
    Originally posted by zagfles
    Yawn. A very, very tired line. Very easy to say when it's not you juggling the cash to bring up your children. And the ex in this case is bringing up the children.
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 11th Aug 17, 8:46 PM
    • 12,115 Posts
    • 10,059 Thanks
    zagfles
    Oh, he's offered to go and provide childcare in the child's own home to suit the mother's work schedule has he? Brilliant!
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    Not sure about the OP, but exactly what my friend in a similar situation did. He was a SAHP parent anyway, so having another child to look after wasn't a problem.
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 11th Aug 17, 8:48 PM
    • 12,115 Posts
    • 10,059 Thanks
    zagfles
    Yawn. A very, very tired line. Very easy to say when it's not you juggling the cash to bring up your children. And the ex in this case is bringing up the children.
    Originally posted by clearingout
    So an offer to share care should be very welcome then, shouldn't it? Then they can share everything 50/50. Care and expenses.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 12th Aug 17, 1:21 PM
    • 1,509 Posts
    • 4,077 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    Not sure about the OP, but exactly what my friend in a similar situation did. He was a SAHP parent anyway, so having another child to look after wasn't a problem.
    Originally posted by zagfles
    I'm pretty sure the OP's partner isn't offering that at all.
    • zagfles
    • By zagfles 12th Aug 17, 3:42 PM
    • 12,115 Posts
    • 10,059 Thanks
    zagfles
    I'm pretty sure the OP's partner isn't offering that at all.
    Originally posted by Red-Squirrel
    It was a suggestion.
    • Sambella
    • By Sambella 12th Aug 17, 5:21 PM
    • 319 Posts
    • 301 Thanks
    Sambella
    As regards CMS and the benefit system it is all messed up. A moral issue you could say.

    Benefits are paid based on what the law says the person or family needs to live on.

    It makes zero sense for people on benefits to pay anything especially where there are children involved on both sides in my opinion.

    The Joseph Rowntree Foundatin published their Minimum Income Standard report just recently and in it it revealed that the families on benefits who struggle the most when inflation is taken into account is those with just the father working not the lone parent family. The Study was based on the lone parent in one family and the father in the other family both working full time on the minimum wage both with two children aged 3 and 7.

    Both families with one adult working got exact same wage and exact same benefits. Yet one was a family of four and one was a family of 3.

    The family of four on the exact same wage and benefits as the family of 3 also has school trips, uniforms etc to pay.

    Now if the father of the family of four was the ex partner of the family of 3 he would have to pay the family of 3 child maintenance based on income (tax credits not counted). So one gets less than the law says they need to live on whilst other gets a bit more whereas in reality both sides should get what the law says they need to live on.

    If the father becomes a stay at home parent and his wife works full time on minimum wage then both families get what they law says they need to live on and zero maintenance is paid.

    Which is fairer to both sets of children?

    It’s all messed up!!
    • 13Kent
    • By 13Kent 14th Aug 17, 8:28 AM
    • 1,002 Posts
    • 3,595 Thanks
    13Kent
    In the old CSA system, the household income of the absent parent was taken into account - if the absent parent's partner was working then it was considered that they could contribute to the household bills therefore the absent parent had more disposable income and therefore their maintenance liability was more. This may be why they think your income will have a bearing on the maintenance needed.

    However I believe that the new CMS system is based purely on the income of the absent parent, taking into account how many nights that parent cares for the child in question, and also how many children from a new relationship that parent also needs to support.

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