Big fight over wedding dress

duchy · 22 February 2016 at 4:28PM

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

and that the whole marriage is more for her so she should plan things out more.

.

Really ?

You don't really want to marry her ?

You're doing a favour by allowing her to marry you ?

Why not rip up all of the original plans - sit down together and decide what you BOTH want to achieve and go fromr there. The most successful marriages work on mutual respect and compromise- something you could both do with a bit of practice at it seems.

fairy_lights · 24 February 2016 at 11:40AM

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

the whole marriage is more for her so she should plan things out more.

What do you mean by this? Do you even want to get married?
Or do you mean the wedding itself is more for her and you'd be happy with a smaller celebration?

duchy · 24 February 2016 at 11:56AM

Plenty of non religious people choose to marry (the fact secular ceremonies are widely available is a bit of a clue) for a variety of reasons but you two don't appear to be planning a marriage but are planning a wedding -which isn't the same thing at all.

paddyrg · 5 March 2016 at 7:20PM

Perhaps her parents could stretch to the dress for their daughter?

rdone · 7 March 2016 at 1:52PM

If I was your fiance and read this I'd be calling it off.

We're getting married in the summer and it's a big occasion, we've had some arguments over it but everything has been equal.

I don't like how you're controlling her and telling her what she can and can't have, it very much scares me.

And the fact that you don't actually want to get married is what would actually make me tell you to jog on.

74jax · 9 March 2016 at 7:52PM

I fell in love with my 2k dress too, but search for 9 months and got it off ebay 150.00

Does she plan on selling it afterwards to recoup the money?

katiepoppycat · 12 March 2016 at 9:28AM

We have separate budgets! There is a joint budget for the wedding and stuff then we have our own budgets for dressing ourselves and our parties. Then noone has to feel guilty about spending too much or too little.

ibizafan_2 · 12 March 2016 at 11:24AM

I have been married twice, and neither time has my OH paid for the dress. The first time back in the 70's I seem to remember my parents paid for the dress, and last year I paid for my own dress, and my husband to be paid for his own clothes. I paid one visit to a wedding dress shop and was shocked at the prices, having seen perfectly nice dresses from Monsoon and Debenhams (where I eventually found a perfect dress for less than £200) Mind you, to be fair, I was never interested in paying a lot for a dress, whereas other people have different priorities, so I'm not going to judge.

u01rld4 · 12 March 2016 at 2:49PM

I agree with the whole dress thing, 2k is ridiculous, I've been looking at high street wedding dresses but they also just seemed a bit...bleurgh.
I've found an independent company on California that are making me a lovely simple lace wedding dress from scratch for £700 so there are alternatives if you look hard enough.
It can be stressful thinking about the budget - we have loads of things we want to do to the house but looks like our wedding is going to be 20k 😩
and that's with me doing a lot myself. But we're doing it our way with the focus on plenty of fun and food and drink with friends and family so trying not to have regrets.
You only live once!

ALIBOBSY · 28 March 2016 at 1:33PM

The sad fact is SOME women (not all by a long shot) spend time planning a wedding day, when actually the thing that is most important is planning your marriage (this will hopefully last many, many times longer than a single wedding day lol).

We had a simple wedding just really close family, we had a lovely ceremony in the local registry office, a meal at a lovely local pub followed by a buffet at my mums. I got a lovely crushed velvet dress, a jacket and hat and shoes in matching colours. We had a lovely very happy personal day for under £500, I guess if you count our rings as well it would be closer to £650/£700 max. Almost 20 yrs later we are still together have 4 children and are very happy. A big wedding day doesn't make a marriage. I don't regret a thing and because we had a small wedding my parents were able to give us a few thousand towards our first house deposit a couple of years later.

Sit down and talk calmly with your partner, and work things out together. If you can't do that now your marriage has no chance.

Ali x

Big fight over wedding dress

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