Money Moral Dilemma: Is it mean to question my share of the bill?

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Former_MSE_Nick
Former_MSE_Nick Posts: 463 Forumite
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in Marriage, relationships & families
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
I like going out with crowds of friends to eat, but I feel a bit peeved that as the only non-drinker (and also the designated driver) I pay an equal share of the bill - and alcohol usually ends up being a fair portion of the total. I feel a bit churlish challenging my fellow diners on this.

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  • sooty&sweep
    sooty&sweep Posts: 1,316 Forumite
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    No & if I was one of the other diners I'd say something anyway.

    Splitting the bill is easier if you've had more or less the same but not when someone has eaten / drunk less than everyone else.

    Jen xxx
  • andreab115
    andreab115 Posts: 16 Forumite
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    No your not being unfair, but your friends are, but they may not realise how you feel
    With you being the designated driver I think your friends should pay for your meal to say thank you xx
  • borkid
    borkid Posts: 2,475 Forumite
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    If I were going out and being driven home I'd probably offer to pay for at least your drinks. If it's a regular thing then definitely mention it although often soft drinks are as expensive as alcohol but it does depend on what you are drinking. I wonder how much it would cost them for a taxi home?
  • GillM
    GillM Posts: 184 Forumite
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    How many more times is this going to be debated? Many threads discussing this at great length, if you do a brief search.
  • karcher
    karcher Posts: 2,069 Forumite
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    GillM wrote: »
    How many more times is this going to be debated? Many threads discussing this at great length, if you do a brief search.

    Quite.

    It's worth noting the thread was posted on the 19th May and had no replies until today, the 23rd May...

    Says a lot about the nonsense that is the MSE Moral Dilemma (or more accurately, an opinion finding mission for filling for the next Weekly email)


    Me, a cynic? Never ;)
    'I'm sinking in the quicksand of my thought
    And I ain't got the power anymore'
  • svain
    svain Posts: 516 Forumite
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    edited 23 May 2017 at 10:50PM
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    I think it is churlish to question the bill. I assume you ate as well as the others and i assume you had soft drinks. Its my experience that people who worry less about this stuff enjoy the evening more. Nothing worse than itemising a bill at the end of the evening if there is a group ....

    Having said that i have been out amongst a group that included a married couple that insisted on itemising the bill and then itemised it again between themselves and they paid to the penny their own individual amounts .... safe to say, they werent invited that often afterwards
  • boliston
    boliston Posts: 3,012 Forumite
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    svain wrote: »
    I think it is churlish to question the bill myself. Assuming you ate as well as the others and i assume you had soft drinks. Its my experience that people who worry less about this stuff enjoy the evening more. .....

    They are probably also a much better salary than people who have to check their bill.
  • tallgirld
    tallgirld Posts: 484 Forumite
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    If it bothers you say something!! Otherwise stop going out to eat with them....
  • happyinflorida
    happyinflorida Posts: 807 Forumite
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    I can't believe they have the downright cheek to make you pay for their alcoholic drinks as well as you being the designated driver.

    Why aren't they all driving on occasion too?

    Methinks they are taking you for a ride!

    If I had a friend that was not only going without the alcohol but also ensuring I got home safely and for free, I'd be agreeing with everyone else that you ate and drank for free!
  • Tishbob
    Tishbob Posts: 1 Newbie
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    No it's not mean, when ever I go out the first thing I say is I am staying on my own for payment, no one has ever commented, In fact it has prompted others to say they want to do the same. Say it straight away so it's over with and people know from the off, If you don't like to say it to you friends just say it to whoever serves you that you want your own bill.
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