Long Term Partner Becoming Personal Trainer (Jealousy etc)

We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it? :(
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Comments

  • lika_86
    lika_86 Posts: 1,753
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    You don't trust her. Ending it would be in both your interests.
  • balletshoes
    balletshoes Posts: 16,610 Forumite
    NoNoDrama wrote: »
    We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

    ....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

    I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

    She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

    I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

    I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

    My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it? :(

    you've answered your own question - you have to end it because you can't be with her when she gets the job she wants.
  • There is 'intimacy' in all sorts of jobs: massage therapist, hairdresser, chiropractor, doctor etc. etc..

    If you don't trust her, you don't trust her. Imposing rules on what kind of job she does or doesn't do isn't going to help. You need to either change your opinion or break up.
  • IAmWales
    IAmWales Posts: 2,024 Forumite
    What on earth is "very seedy" about being a personal trainer?

    She's not going to be a prostitute!
  • lincroft1710
    lincroft1710 Posts: 17,545
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    NoNoDrama wrote: »
    .

    I've researched and it's a very seedy industry

    I don't think so!
    If you are querying your Council Tax band would you please state whether you are in England, Scotland or Wales
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,582
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    "seedy industry".?
    Really?
    Are you sure you've Googled the right occupation?
  • Sounds like you've been watching too much !!!!!!. Seriously, what is seedy about helping others to become fit? Most of her clients will probably be overweight middle aged women if the female trainer I know is anything to go by
  • Well the jealously is industry specific .. she works with mostly men now and it's never been an issue.

    We can pretend affairs aren't common in the personal trainer world but we'd all be kidding ourselves, anyone who has worked in a gym will tell you the stories.

    I do accept it's my issue not hers. I wouldn't dream of asking her not to pursue it, she'd just end up hating me plus she's so determined would probably tell me to just jog on anyway.

    There is no way but to end it. If her future career is more important than me I shouldn't be with her anyway.
  • lika_86
    lika_86 Posts: 1,753
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    NoNoDrama wrote: »
    There is no way but to end it. If her future career is more important than me I shouldn't be with her anyway.

    If your irrational jealousy and insecurity is more important than her happiness and self-fulfilment then you shouldn't be with her anyway.
  • How would you feel if she told you to change your career because she'd heard some people in it had affairs?
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