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  • FIRST POST
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    • 3,208Posts
    • 14,238Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I WILL get there!!
    • #1
    • 24th Jul 15, 12:08 PM
    I WILL get there!! 24th Jul 15 at 12:08 PM
    Hello,

    I've been lurking on this site for almost 2 years now, admiring everyone elses stories but never quite getting the balls to sort myself out.

    Well, that's all changed. I've been diagnosed with a severe reproductive disease and advised to have children in the next 2 years if I want them or it will no longer be an option...bit of a shock to the system and a jolt out of the credit card haze I've been living in, as I'm in no position to have a family with the amount of debt I have now.

    I had a lot of time off sick whilst waiting for a diagnosis/having surgery and don't get paid sick pay so used an interest free money transfer to pay my rent for a few months last year and managed to keep up the rest of my minimum payments but this just added to the problems I already had. I've started a great drug regime and haven't had any time off since my last op so I'm aiming to keep that up and pay as much as I can off all my debts as quickly as possible.

    So here's the list of debts that I've buried my head in the sand about for years!

    £6732.27 MBNA (interest free until Jun 2016)
    £2746.89 Barclaycard (Interest free until June 2018)
    £560.00 Barclaycard
    £2740.96 Vanquis (This is actually my parents debt albeit stupidly in my name as the were on an IVA, and they are making the repayments)
    £1789.23 Very (half Interest Free Until November, the other half interest free until May 2016)
    £10562.14 Natwest Loan (Cleared an amigo loan and some payday loans that I had stupidly got into - much lesser interest than the original debts)

    Total £25131.49 (ouch!! Although better than the 29400.23 it was at this time last year...)

    (with the MBNA and long barclaycard interest free I've managed to balance transfer 6(!) smaller credit cards which I was paying extortionate interest on, so that's a bonus at least)

    I guess I'm just after a bit of support - I made a lot of stupid decisions when I was younger but never thought it would affect me having my dream of a family but when I sat down and added it all up I felt sick, and like it was a little insurmountable. I know I can do it - I can't think of a better reason than my (hopefully) future children

    Thanks for reading

    Kirsty
    Last edited by kirtsypoos; 26-08-2015 at 3:53 PM. Reason: add total
Page 89
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 16th Jan 18, 12:44 PM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    It's getting ridiculous Abba - I feel like such a hypochondriac but they keep telling me I need to be checked regularly, especially now with the diabetes

    Fingers crossed for no more problems now! 10 weeks to go if I go full term but if they induce me early it will only be 8-9 weeks
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • crunch_time
    • By crunch_time 16th Jan 18, 3:04 PM
    • 1,078 Posts
    • 3,221 Thanks
    crunch_time
    How exciting!!! Xx
    LBM June 2014. Original debt £23,555 vs Now £0 Paid off in April 2017.
    NEW DEBT (1-1-18) My credit card : £3035 Now: £3029 Husbands credit card: £4579 Now: £4579 Long term savings £3440 Holiday fund £245/£37.22
    • lauradora
    • By lauradora 16th Jan 18, 4:16 PM
    • 1,311 Posts
    • 4,334 Thanks
    lauradora
    Happy new year xx

    Getting closer and closer now

    Still in debt but happy
    DFW nerd no 844


    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 16th Jan 18, 5:20 PM
    • 4,163 Posts
    • 13,171 Thanks
    abba1772
    It's getting ridiculous Abba - I feel like such a hypochondriac but they keep telling me I need to be checked regularly, especially now with the diabetes

    Fingers crossed for no more problems now! 10 weeks to go if I go full term but if they induce me early it will only be 8-9 weeks
    Originally posted by kirtsypoos
    You're not a hypochondriac at all you're just experiencing some awful things with this pregnancy and I really feel for you xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £3991.99
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £372.08
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 16th Jan 18, 7:09 PM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Appointment with consultant done and I'm now on 2 tablets a day to see what that does for my sugar levels - if no change in a week I'm to double the dose which is the max I will be able to take - if that doesn't work we will be looking at self injecting insulin I'm such a baby with needles, the finger pricking is bad enough!

    Hope the tablets do the trick!!
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 16th Jan 18, 7:55 PM
    • 2,531 Posts
    • 19,289 Thanks
    sashybo
    That's a bit rubbish about the KIT days Kirsty, if I were you I wouldn't be taking work phone calls when on mat leave. If they're not willing to give you KIT days/pay you for your time, why should you be doing unpaid work for them? I know it's easier said than done but you will have other priorities than work - especially unpaid!

    Hope your tablets work, I don't think I could self-inject either, I faint a lot of the time with needles. I don't mind looking at them, I just don't want them in my arm or whatever. Strangely enough they didn't bother me much whilst pregnant though.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 18th Jan 18, 9:55 AM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    It's definitely crossed my mind sashy, but the powers that be can be very difficult and like to blame someone , if I don't answer that person will be me and I don't want issues when I'm coming back. It shouldn't be a regular occurrence, more that if there is a password I've forgotten to write down that they need they can text me... I hope! If it starts getting out of hand they already know I will stop answering unless they agree to extra maternity pay (and that will never happen!!)

    I'm really not the best with needles normally. I can inject others with no problem, I just don't like it when I'm being stabbed apparently they can do a pen type injector thing so I won't have to watch the needle going in. We shall see how this week goes, if my numbers start coming down I'm hopeful that even if I do end up on insulin, it will be nearer the end of the pregnancy so at least that means less injections.

    Had some money paid back to me that I wasn't expecting last night so have done a little PAD off my spendy CC as there may be some baby bits on there that will be paid off with tomorrows pay again, money is in savings but while I'm not being charged interest I would rather earn interest in the bank, however little that might be!

    Have also been given a tip for trading if I wanted to try it, so am going to do some reading about it over the weekend - it would be a massive help to be able to make a bit extra while I'm off, and may even give me more options for extending mat leave. I can only dream right?!

    30 weeks today I'm doing some reduced hours at work this week as the Doctor wanted to sign me off but I really can't afford that at the moment so am compromising by taking some holiday spread out over this week to make up to the hours I'll be leaving early. First day of it was yesterday. Was due to leave at 12PM. I got out at 3PM as I was doing TNAs and didn't notice the time...got home, fell asleep on the sofa and missed a Doctors appt am going to try again today and hope it's more successful...wish me luck! xx
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • abba1772
    • By abba1772 18th Jan 18, 10:44 AM
    • 4,163 Posts
    • 13,171 Thanks
    abba1772
    Set an alarm on your phone so you get out of work on time xx
    NEXT TARGET HALIFAX CC WAS July 17 £3572.57 NOW £3991.99
    POAMAYC 2011 £6382.66 POAMAYC 2012 £5000.78
    POAMAYC 2013 £3480.04 POAMAYC 2014 £4085.14
    POAMAYC 2015 £7565.24 POAMAYC 2016 £8000.90
    POAMAYC 2017 £7278.80 POAMAYC 2018 £372.08
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 18th Jan 18, 3:28 PM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Success! I managed to get out in time for my Doctors appt and had a nice lunch at home which was good for my sugars so that's a bonus.

    Currently feeling very chilled and will be off to fold laundry then have a relaxing bath to try and ease the backache xx
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 19th Jan 18, 9:55 AM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Payday today so have made a quick PAD to spendy CC and another mortgage op it's times like this when I am quite glad OH doesn't have access to the mortgage online banking as he would tell me to spend my personal spends on me....but I am! It's just on future me instead of me now.

    Plus, I wanted the balance below 160k but it being £159,999.99 was messing with my slightly OCD tendencies so needed to be rectified

    Last unofficial half day today, back at work full days from next week until 5th Feb when my official half days kick in, seems so far away when I think about doing 8 hour days but I'm sure it will fly by....I hope!

    New tablets are wreaking havoc on my digestive system and causing some very painful cramps which I'm trying to ignore as I know it's tablet related and donut is kicking away so I know they aren't affecting him, it's just difficult not to worry about any pain in that area.

    Counting down the days until the final DD comes out for OHs CC - I can't wait!!! I will then be officially debt free from my original debt, even though I will have new joint debt to add in and get started on next, like the car loan....that's an affordable monthly payment even with maternity leave so I'm not stressing about it, but still making OPs whenever I can spare a bit of $ - it's a zopa loan so not OP penalty

    Hope everyone is looking forward to the weekend xx
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 19th Jan 18, 10:18 AM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Another thing which has been on my mind lately is that I seem to have become a bit of a money hoarder

    I have amounts in different places and I feel quite panicky if I have to use any of it. I've never really documented what is where so I'm going to do so below in the hope it will convince me I am actually doing ok...
    • Paypal - £70 (from ebay sales)
    • Scottish friendly (apprx £300 - it's an ISA and the value goes up or down - I put £20 per month in, this has been a pot of 'forget about it' money as it's in there for 5 years or I have to pay a penalty to remove it - I am hoping this will be a nice forgotten bonus in a couple of years...
    • Joint Savings - £1120 - this increases monthly and is our EF at the moment, although it is also the go to account for things such as new lightbulbs etc.
    • My EF - £1112 - this won't be increasing anytime soon due to mat leave but I am hoping it will provide me with a buffer should I need it
    • NZ savings - £1750 in a FD regular saver until May - technically this isn't 'our' money as we are yet to pay off the 0% CC which we booked our flights etc on - until May this is scheduled to come out of our normal joint house account so we can try and keep as much of this in savings as possible, but it won't be a huge amount!
    • Baby - £200 in account for donut. I usually do my tilly tidies into here
    • Cash emergencies - £300 - this is the amount I keep in the house/on me for things like window cleaner/quick drink at the pub. This is the one which causes me the most upset to spend. I like knowing I have cash available. It causes panic when I don't have cash in the house. I'm not sure how I can get round this though - I think it's an overhang from when I first started paying off my debts and I had no cash, no EF and only CCs to rely on if something happened - I'm petrified of ever getting back to that
    • Patio - £1352 - this is savings for the patio to be done in our back garden - hopefully this year as I'd like an outside space for donut to use once he is old enough to be out and about a bit

    £5904 (although really £4154 because of the NZ money still being owed to a CC)

    All this is on my mind recently because I'm so worried about how to teach donut to be responsible with money. My parents are terrible with money. Always have been, always will be - my grandparents (moms side) are the exact opposite. Her motto is neither a borrower nor lender be. They have never owed anyone anything except for their mortgages and she would be horrified if I ever told her the full story of the situation I got myself into.

    I would like to be more like my grandparents than parents, but equally I want to enjoy my life and my grandparents, although absolutely lovely, are extremely judgmental people - especially about other peoples money matters and I can feel myself being the same when I lecture my close family on their spending or credit habits.

    Has anyone else felt like they have moved from one extreme to another and annoy people with constant financial advice? I don't know how to stop it - I don't want to see any of my loved ones end up in the situation I did

    Sorry for my rambling, I've just been getting very worried about how to teach him to be financially responsible without making him scared to spend a penny! I hope some of this makes sense because it kind of just spilled out of my head all at once
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 19th Jan 18, 11:34 AM
    • 5,215 Posts
    • 9,920 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I have always been a saver due to the fact my dad was careful with money although he wasn’t tight, he just knew where and what he was spending on. My careful money habits came from him and the fact when I worked in a bank in the 70s and early 80s staff had to demonstrate good financial acumen. Overdrafts were a disciplinary offence and loans and mortgages were scored tighter for staff than normal customers. When I did arrears counselling and counselled a lot of people in heavy debt it tipped me even further towards being a saver rather than a borrower.

    Consequently I don’t think it is bad you are now careful with money. I think in the back of your mind you know the next year will be expensive and are stockpiling for that reason. As for judging others you can get over that by thinking, as I do many times on here that you can advise but ultimately you are not responsible how others are with money. If your parents are awful with money it may be best not to mention it at all as I would be worried about you being called on to bail them out. That is not your job. If they ask for help suggest budgeting tips and leave it at that. Re loosening the purse strings enough to have fun I think so long as you have a budgeted amount for trips, holidays, entertainment or clothes etc then you can tell yourself you are spending in budget. It is uncontrolled spending which is bad. I love spending on meals out and theatre trips and my budget is tightly controlled to allow for that. You will find it easier as you move from paying off debt to saving for the future.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 19th Jan 18, 12:51 PM
    • 5,215 Posts
    • 9,920 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    A word or two about your savings accounts. I thoroughly agree with having separate pots and we do the same. The FD regular saver is a good choice and saving for things to be done to the house in a separate account is also wise.

    I do seem to recall you mentioning the Scottish Friendly S and S ISA and the performance/charges for it. I am not convinced it is worth you investing a relatively small amount into stocks and shares especially if the charges are quite high. I just googled the moneybuilder ISA which is invested in a unitised profit fund and is very cautious and consequently low reward. This may be why the performance is fairly poor. In your situation you may be better off using regular savers or extra payments into your pension if you are saving long term but I know there is a financial penalty if you withdraw within 5 years. At the very least it gets you used to saving a small amount each month but I would not expect it to perform outstandingly.

    The reason you find it harder to spend cash than withdrawing other money from accounts is that it is always harder to part with physical cash and hence the reason I always suggest someone new to budgeting use cash for weekly spends rather than cards. Most of us think more about what the money is being used for when parting with notes than handing over a debit card.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 20th Jan 18, 10:34 AM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    Thanks es - I often wonder where I'd be now if my current ideas about spending had been my thoughts from a young age, but all I can do is appreciate that I am no longer in a terrible position and there is no point wondering what if.

    I agree about the Scottish friendly fund, the only draw to it was a large amount of cashback which is more than covering the current loss of £15, but also the fact I can't access it makes me happy - it is due to mature around the time of the remortgage so I'm hoping that will go towards any mortgage arrangement fees. I want to get used to thinking that I can't access money, rather than I won't if that makes any sense?

    I've upped my pension contributions from April - pointless whilst I'm on mat leave, but I planned to do it last year so I knew if I left it until after mat leave, I wouldn't be able to factor it in to my workings. This way I have no choice but to factor it in, because it's already done if that makes sense?

    I do enjoy hoarding cash and I actually hate putting it into the bank - I've made a couple of FB sales this week and whilst it's no great amount, I love the fact I have a bit of extra cash in the house. It's covering our carpet fitter today with a bit spare so that makes me very happy as the carpet fitter money was allocated in the house fund, so that is now a little more than the budget says it would be - lucky as OH had to fill the other car yesterday so this will cover that shortfall.

    I had planned to go to IKEA today to get some shelving for the nursery but honestly I can't be bothered so am going to go once my half days start properly at work. It's crowds that drive me mad at the moment so hopefully during the week I will have a better chance of it being quieter. Todays plan is to declutter the spare bedroom as all the baby stuff is arriving from my parents (where it's been stored) next weekend and we need somewhere to store it while we decide what goes where.

    Have a lovely Saturday everyone! xx
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 20th Jan 18, 1:01 PM
    • 2,531 Posts
    • 19,289 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi Kirsty,

    Sorry to hear the tablets are giving you more discomfort, not really what you need on top of everything else.

    Try not to stress too much about how to teach the baby how to deal with money - it will a long time before you need to do it really. I think itís mostly an example thing, so if he sees you being sensible with money then thatís what heíll think is normal. Saving money for things you want/need and not being scared to spend money at all. You can teach him about budgeting etc when heís old enough but I donít think I really had a clue until I left home!

    We have a savings account for our DS in his name & we put any money heís gifted in there for future use for things like swimming lessons etc. When heís old enough he can decide if he wants to save or spend any Christmas/birthday money he then receives. DHís parents were always over the top about not spending money/you must save etc and that pushed him in completely the opposite direction towards the spend, spend, spend mindset when he left home. So itís a difficult thing & also depends on your DSís character - he might be a natural saver!
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 20th Jan 18, 4:41 PM
    • 5,215 Posts
    • 9,920 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Thanks es - I often wonder where I'd be now if my current ideas about spending had been my thoughts from a young age, but all I can do is appreciate that I am no longer in a terrible position and there is no point wondering what if.

    I agree about the Scottish friendly fund, the only draw to it was a large amount of cashback which is more than covering the current loss of £15, but also the fact I can't access it makes me happy - it is due to mature around the time of the remortgage so I'm hoping that will go towards any mortgage arrangement fees. I want to get used to thinking that I can't access money, rather than I won't if that makes any sense?

    I've upped my pension contributions from April - pointless whilst I'm on mat leave, but I planned to do it last year so I knew if I left it until after mat leave, I wouldn't be able to factor it in to my workings. This way I have no choice but to factor it in, because it's already done if that makes sense?
    Originally posted by kirtsypoos
    I don't think it matters that it took you a while to recognise the benefits of good money management. You are virtually debt free, you have a home and are overpaying the mortgage, you have a pension and savings so you are in a good position.

    I think putting money away for the future so you cannot easily access it is a good idea so long as you have emergency savings which you obviously do. The next few years will be expensive in terms of reduced pay if you go to part time and child care is expensive so unless your OH is a high earner realistically there won't be lots spare until your DC is older.

    Once they are though and you have spare money I would suggest you look into investing in a highly diversified fund which minimises risk of loss and perhaps choose a multi asset fund with low charges (like one of the Vanguard lifestrategy funds). It is very easy to DIY invest these days and the returns are so much better than savings accounts but of course not guaranteed so you need to be aware of the risks.

    What I would say is that I would not have been able to retire early on my pension alone especially as I took it 8 years early. My pension planning involved not only overpaying into a pension but also investing in a stocks and shares isa (Vanguard lifestrategy) regular savers and term deposits and clearing the mortgage early.

    Personally though I would not consider it until you can easily afford a minimum of £50 per month but that is just me. When you get to a point of thinking about it post on the savings and investing board.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • kirtsypoos
    • By kirtsypoos 22nd Jan 18, 11:01 AM
    • 3,208 Posts
    • 14,238 Thanks
    kirtsypoos
    I'll definitely have a wander over the the savings and investments board when I have a bit more spare money (does that ever happen after children?!) as it's something I'm keen to look into. My grandparents have always been very into shares and investing well so it's something I may discuss with them too. They will be thrilled that I'm taking their financial views into account and it will be good to spend more time with them

    Sashy I think that's my worry - my grandparents can be a bit OTT about not spending and I think it sent my mom the other way, so I want to be careful of that without just encouraging him to spend willy nilly! Once he is born I will open a bank account in his name, at the moment his money is just in one of my savings accounts.

    We have agreed that we will set a limit on grandparents for presents, anything they want to spend over the limit will need to be in money for his bank account - I don't want a house full of rubbish that he never uses and it's such a waste of money! We will see how my parents feel about that, I can sense a few heated discussions

    Back at work full time this week - already not feeling it Roll on half days - 5th Feb can't come quick enough for me.

    Baby seems to be having a daily growth spurt and I'm dreading the appearance of noticeable stretch marks - at the moment they are silver as I'm just re-stretching old ones from the days of extreme overweightness

    Medication seems to be bringing my sugars down though, which is a bonus as I really don't fancy injecting insulin for any longer than necessary - hoping to keep to the tablets for as long as I can. Let's just hope little one plays ball and comes a couple of weeks early, that would help with controlling sugars!

    Really well meaning friends keep giving me lists of things to take to the hospital - they all include haribo or chocolate and lucozade - I know they mean well but I'm not allowed any of that because of the diabetes, it could be dangerous for the baby if my sugars are uncontrolled during labour and I don't want him to have to go to special care unless absolutely necessary - and certainly not because I wasn't disciplined enough with my snacks during labour, but one in particular keeps insisting that it will be fine and just to drink the lucozade
    £70/3000 OH BC(97.66% PAID)
    PAID VERY, Barclaycard x2, Vanquis, Natwest, O/D, Tesco & MBNA x2 PAID LBM 24/07/15 - Debt: £70/31010.23 (99.77% paid)
    Mortgage - £159,900.00 (2017/2018 O/P £2877.06) PAYDBX 17 - £18,442.82
    PAYDBX 18 #006 £991.66/£4000
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 22nd Jan 18, 12:04 PM
    • 2,531 Posts
    • 19,289 Thanks
    sashybo
    I donít think I got any stretch marks until about 4 weeks before my due date Kirsty. I was quite shocked at how red they were but they have faded a lot now DS is nearly 8 months old and hopefully theyíll fade even more.

    Yes the money thing is difficult but I think as long as youíre open with DS about money & not dictating to him about what to do with it when heís older then it should be ok. In the end we all have to learn through experience.

    A bit annoying about the friend who keeps insisting on the lucozade - I take it telling her that the midwives/consultant doesnít recommend it due to the gestational diabetes hasnít helped? Just tell her youíll take what the midwives/doctors advise? When I was in labour in the midwife unit they supplied me with food (tea, toast, biscuits, lucozade & chocolate pudding), DH even got sandwiches, he was chuffed. So we didnít need to take any food in with us. I didnít have anything in the consultant led unit though so not sure what the usual is there.

    I donít know that I used half the stuff I was told to take to hospital. I know I didnít take enough nighties or maternity pads for myself but at least DH could get them from home afterwards. Disposable pants were definitely the best thing I had for the first few days whilst in hospital. I didnít know they existed until someone told me. one thing that annoyed me was that my dressing gown didnít have any pockets. Iím also taking a small pull along suitcase if thereís a next time - much easier for DH than carrying 3 bags (mine, his & babyís) plus a bag of nappies.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 22nd Jan 18, 12:51 PM
    • 5,215 Posts
    • 9,920 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    We ended up taking in lots of spare flannels for my DD after she had her first baby and plenty of maternity pads.

    Just tell your friend you have gestational diabetes so cannot take in sweet stuff. I think you do need to eat regularly so I guess maybe protein bars and water or squash would be useful.

    My DD will be having a C section after having pre eclampsia, breech and Emergency C Section with her first but I think she is pleased she wont be made to go through 30 hours of labour first.

    It sounds like you are more like your grandparents than your parents with money and getting advice off them is sensible when perhaps looking at investing for your little one and the future is on the cards. It is difficult to find spare money for savings when you have children but not impossible and you soon get used to doing without it. My OH was putting 10% into his pension from his mid twenties and it was hard seeing that go out of his salary initially but we adjusted and that was the prime reason why we retired early as that forms the cornerstone of our early retirement plan. I think with money there needs to be a balance between saving for the medium term and long term and keeping some fun money back too for the present.

    Re setting limits on presents, that is something I would not worry about until it happens. No sense in pre-empting problems but maybe some suggestions would be better when it comes to parents either buying bits for baby before or after birth and birthdays/Christmas. I put £10 a month into a junior isa for my granddaughter and my daughter and son in law match it. I will do the same for the next granddaughter due in May. My daughter is not keen for any more to go into it as they will have access to it at 18 and she doesn't think a large amount of money should be in their control at that age. I respect that and any more we wish to give we will give to my daughter and son in law. Hopefully your parents will respect your wishes.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

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