Separated wife - any rights?
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Are you saying that if your ex partner had made a will, leaving you something in it, you would have refused it?
If my marriage was done and dusted then no I wouldn't sorry. As in my eyes that means we are finished, because a piece of paper still says I am married it's doesn't actually mean we are. When you say something though that could be different. If he specifically wrote a will after we split leaving me something sentimental then i would view that different. I would see that as my ex clearly wanted me to have whatever it may be. However if it was money no I wouldn't. I am very independent always have been. From day one and even while on maternity leave I have paid 50/50 towards everything.
I would not want to take an EXs money no. As I said above your situation was different it was offered to you and you took which is fine. But me personally no absoutley not.0 -
Let's not go down the 'I was more independent than you' route. I took on a large mortgage when we split and struggled financially for a considerable number of years bringing up the children, having worked to support him during his studies when we were first married. By the time we separated he was already earning three times my salary, having been successful in his career and this increased further over the years. We remained friendly but he could easily have divorced me on the grounds of separation but chose not to. He was financially pretty astute so I was surprised to learn after his death he had not updated his expression of wish from having named his parents, who had both died some years ago. So I figure either he would have known about my possible entitlement or at least he didn't care who got it.
If you would refuse an amount of money which would more than double your own income, you must be up for sainthood.0 -
I see no reason why the OP should not have any money she is legally entitled to. She and her husband chose not to divorce so the law should take the normal course.0
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Oh, and I could have divorced him for the same reason and have requested a division of his pension. Again, I chose not to.0
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Let's not go down the 'I was more independent than you' route. I took on a large mortgage when we split and struggled financially for a considerable number of years bringing up the children, having worked to support him during his studies when we were first married. By the time we separated he was already earning three times my salary, having been successful in his career and this increased further over the years. We remained friendly but he could easily have divorced me on the grounds of separation but chose not to. He was financially pretty astute so I was surprised to learn after his death he had not updated his expression of wish from having named his parents, who had both died some years ago. So I figure either he would have known about my possible entitlement or at least he didn't care who got it.
If you would refuse an amount of money which would more than double your own income, you must be up for sainthood.
At no point did I say I was more independent than you. Myself and other poster were posting on the original thread! You've somehow made about you.
You have taken money which was legally left to you. That's fine that's up to you. However my opinion differs from yours. And I certainly don't claim it makes me a saint.
Again no I wouldn't take the money I would have split it between my children ! Even if they were left other money. My reasons being as above ! He was an ex not part of my life anymore. And just because at one point he was part of my life and I could have been entitled to money at that time, wouldn't be enough for me. As he wasn't now part of my life. ! I would feel I had no right to the money ! And yes it may be legal doesn't mean it's morally right !
So as I said again in MY OPINION I would not take an EXs money I don't agree with it. Doesn't make me wrong or you it's called a difference of opinion.0 -
The bottom line here is: The OP might be able to claim a pension ... and nobody would lose out. If the money's there and not being claimed, then some top kn0b gets a payrise ... or the OP can spend it.
While it can be "morally iffy" and "not feel right" to many .... it's money that nobody else would be deprived of. Money that a big firm would keep in a pot for themselves.
So, why not.0 -
[QUOTE=Aced2016;72704500_I_think_it's_disgusting_!_People_have_absoutley_no_shame_or_pride_anymore._Never_would_I_go_seeking_an_EXs_money.[/QUOTE]
It's not a difference of opinion and it's not about me. You were judgemental. That's why I replied. As others have said, if it's not claimed by someone else, the money is lost. And my children are doing just fine without it - they will probably inherit a good chunk of it.0 -
aced2016 - you are being very judgemental. On a forum like this I was hardly going to go into the whys and wherefores! Suffice to say, we were in contact about once a month, and quite friendly. We also chose not to divorce. My financial circumstances became somewhat dire after separation, but I never tapped him for money! Enough said. Some people on here are very helpful - thank you - but some, like you, seem only to want to criticize, without knowing the people or the circumstances involved.0
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Interesting thread
I've been separated for a long time now. We talk once a week and get on better now than when we're together. No children, either.
I have no desire to get married again and nor does she. My ex is quite insecure financially (I don't mean that she has no money but she does worry about it) and I have no issues about her having my pension. One of the reasons for staying married, to be honest.
I do have a current partner but she is very independent, doesn't want to get married or live with me (we had the conversation before we started going out) and is chilled about my ongoing contact with my ex. I have made provision for her in my will
I must admit I do wonder, sometimes, if I am in my wife's will? Has she reciprocated? She isn't actually hard up at all. But, if she hasn't then she hasn't. Can't say I'd feel aggrieved by it. It's what she has decided to do
I assume, OP, that, if you had made a will, your husband was a beneficiary?0 -
My parents (married for decades) separated a few years before my Dad died. My Mum was entitled to widow's pensions from both his occupational pensions, which I claimed for her by writing to the pension providers (Teachers' Pension scheme and Local Government). As far as I could gather, the legal situation is the same as if the couple were still happily living together.
In addition, my Mum was entitled to an upgrade on her state pension, as there were some years where she had not paid in, but my Dad had, so she was then given extra years' worth of entitlement. I thought this seemed fair and equitable, given that the reason my Mum had fewer years in the first place was because she was looking after their children.
https://www.gov.uk/death-spouse-benefits-tax-pension/pensions
For the OP - hopefully you know who your husband worked for, it is possible to find out who provided their pension by using this link:
https://www.gov.uk/find-pension-contact-details0
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